Hellloooooo!!!

Although I've been missing from writing in this blog, I still read your blogs and believe me, there had been numerous times I wanted to drop a comment or two, but too bad, it's just too complicated (for me at least) when I do it on my phone...A sign that I'm getting old-er?

Many things had happened, and as much as I wanted to share a piece of my mind regarding the matters, often times, I'd rather use my free time to tidy up the house a bit or play with my baby. That's called putting my priorities where they belong, chewahhh...

Work is crazyyy...13 days non-stop. Buruh pun tak macam ni kot. Sigh. I don't know lah. I mean, this is the path that I choose, I can't complaint too much about it lah. But I really thought it would get better when I am higher on the hierarchy, takde maknanya...Rumah macam kapal pecah sebab 13 hari terbiar. Kalau gaji banyak, tak apa juga kan? I pun tak tahu I kerja susah susah untuk apa sebenarnya. I work because this is the responsibility I commit myself to, and if I don't do it accordingly, it is haram.

Paling menyedihkan is when my breastmilk is diminishing, both my stocks in the freezer and in my body. I initially plan to at least replace what's been consumed over the weekend, but when you have to also work on the weekends,  you tell me how lah...Of course, I salute my colleagues who manage to do it. Not just salute, malah iri hati. Here I am, pumping at least 4 times per day, most of the time, 5 times per day, and if I'm not too tired, 6 times per day, but I still can't produce mencurah-curah like them. Dapat 8-10oz je, while baby is taking 12oz if I leave him from 8am to 5pm. Orang lain tu, sekali pump je dapat 8oz!

I want their breats!

Kata milk production will increase with frequent pumping! Tipu je...It also depends on your body, I guess. Maybe that's why some people just can't...Tapi I bersyukur lah. I will breastfeed my baby as long as I can, jika ditakdirkan tak boleh, kena redha. I will do a divided short term target, for now, 6 months!

This in turn, put a stress on me. Banyak rasa terkilan je...Like, if my baby wants more milk, I tell his baby sitter don't give him more, she probably thinks I'm such a bad mother for letting him go hungry. I know better, sometimes my baby doesn't want more, he just cries because he misses me, wants to suckle my nipples, maybe he is uncomfortable because you carry him wrongly, etc.

Even though I limit his daily intake to 12oz over 9 hours, at 3 months, my baby weighed 6.7kg. Woohoo...Badan tak berketul-ketul pun, he's simply a tall baby...Character boleh tahan ganas, memang boy sangat! Pandai demand attention. The presence of a familiar voice is not enough for him, mesti kena duduk depan mata dia jugak! Dah start gigit gigit, pandai roll over, dah start drooling (euw), but hasn't reach out for things yet.

I  think I am the only one who can understand him and knows how to play with him. I'm so proud of myself. Walaupun busy with work, my baby still wants me, terharu sangat...

Apa lagi nak cerita? Banyak lagi! Tapi sambung di kemudian hari lah...

I went to SACC to buy baby stuff. It was my first time, probably my last. Gosh, it was so crowded! And the sale wasn't worth it. Except for diapers and formula milk.

I went on Friday morning, in hope to avoid the crowd, but nooo, my husband and I couldn't take it. I can't imagine how the turn out would be like in MidValley. Mesti lagi terukkk...

The price fluctuated too. I bought nursing bras, which was priced at RM40 for two.
Me: Eh, tadi awak kata dua helai RM30!
Salesgirl: Boss dah naikkan harga.
Husband: Mana boss awak? Saya nak cakap dengan boss awak.
Salesgirl: Boss, kakak ni dapat harga lain.
Boss: Berapa? Berapa?
Husband: Dua helai RM30.
Boss: Okay, okay. Untuk you, I bagi special price.

Waahh...Dalam masa sejam naik 10 ringgit!

Anyway, I will be starting work next week. During my short visit to Mother's house, we practised leaving Baby KR for a few hours without his parents.

It wasn't planned. I wanted to bring him along, but Mother volunteered. Mother seemed to be handling him well. Baby KR slept and did not fuss for 4 successful (it was 6 hours the next day when we left him), it's so unlike him when he is with my husband and I. Perhaps we are simply clueless parents.

Because it was our first time being separated from each other, I was anxious. I didn't even browse stuff I need for myself. I need new pair of pants! And tudung, and shoes. And Spanx! OMG, seriously, giving birth has changed the contour of my cute butt that I used to be proud of, haha. Apesal sekarang bontot macam jatuh semacam...Tak perky dah... :(

Here's a confession.

I had a problem in expressing breast milk. Because of that, I've been delaying in introducing the bottle to my baby. I was afraid if I started to bottle feed him, I would lose the natural stimulation I need to make more breast milk.

So, I kept on direct feeding my baby, kept on pumping, taking fenugreek pills and kept on praying. Slowly, I am able to build up breast milk stocks.

I was so worried my baby would reject the bottle. Berdoa je lah agar dipermudahkan. I've heard some babies needed trial and error of up to SEVEN different types bottles!

Alhamdulillah, when I left Baby KR with Mother, he took it. He just took it. Kuasa Allah sangat! That's one huge burden being lifted off my shoulders.

I used MAM bottles, by the way, funny thing is, he does not want the MAM pacifier or any other pacifier.

I do not know how much breast milk he would take, how much breast milk I should leave him with. They say it's about 1 oz per hour, but it really depends on your baby. So, I guess, I will be leaving 12 oz for him each day for now. I store my breast milk 4 oz per bag.

And because of this, I'm aiming to make 12 oz per day at least! The more the better, obviously, it's just that I will be having problems with the freezer space.

Oh, Baby KR is 5.5kg at 2 months. Hurrah! Shopping baju dia mahal nak mampus, kain sikit tapi mahal, mak dia pun tak merasa pakai baju mahal ni haaaa!!!

And I found out there's even imitation strollers out there! OMG, these Chinese people really copy anything and everything! Never it crosses my mind that somebody would make a fake stroller lah...I also found some people who are okay with it. But me, I'd rather have second hand Bugaboo strollers than having a flimsy one.

1) Fuh, penat I. Baby is finally asleep. Dah dua malam berturut-turut we couldn't get our beauty sleep, hourly interruption. Don't know why, we didn't change his routine pun. But somehow he is more clingy than ever. Hopefully, tonight will return to normal, where at least he will 3 to 4 hours straight.

Luckily, I am quite used to staying up and staying late. Tapi tetap penatlah. Especially when my husband is sleeping too. No fair! But what can he do? My baby wants my breasts constantly, my husband ain't have any, so he gets to rest lah.

Tonight, I rasa, kesian my baby. He's so young but I already expects him to have a routine. Sometimes, I rasa rimas lah, asyik nak melekat je dengan I. But come on, he is still a baby!

And when he's having trouble sleeping, I feel like, I'm his mom but I don't know how to help him! Kesian sangat...

Dulu,, bercita cita besar, didn't want to introduce buaian or pacifier. Now that I know he needs a nipple to soothe him, I belilah pacifier for him, tapi dia reject.

Macam mana nak tinggal ni!!! (Tapi deep down, happy because he prefers mine, haha)

2)

Me: Abang, terer tak I hari ni?
Husband: Terer...
Me: Kenapa I terer?
Husband: Sebab you masak...
Me: Sebab I sapu rumah, lipat baju, masak, basuh pinggan and jaga baby. I am supermom!!!

3) I was browsing Facebook and read a friend's status checking in at a First Class Lounge, travelling to Europe.

I thought she hit the jackpot by marrying her husband, considering that she used to live in rumah papan.

Me: Abang, meh sini tengok Suraya. Dia pergi Europe, naik first class...Bertuah betul dia, kahwin orang kaya!
Husband: Macam Abang lah, bertuah dapat kahwin dengan you...Hihihi...

Awww, sweetlah pulak husband I ni cakap he's lucky to have me.
I'm lucky to have you, too...

4) Hari tu, I cooked ayam goreng. I kan tak suka terpercik percik ni. Hot oil is painful! Memang fobia habis...

So, I wore this...

 

 

But on my arms instead lah. Plus a tong.

 

My husband was carrying my son,

 

Husband: Baby KR, apalah mak kamu ni, masak ayam siap pakai sarung tangan.

Me: Ni leg warmers lah...Tapi I pakai dekat tangan.

Husband: Penakut betul mama awak ni...Masak pun takut!

Me: Ye lah, sakitlah!

Husband: Apalah mama awak ni...! Penakut!

Me: Bukanlah! I ni genius tau. In fact, I rasa benda ni patut dicipta dan dijual di kedai-kedai untuk orang-orang macam I! Mesti laku!

 

5) My friend, a doctor, was complaining about another doctor whose English so bad...

 

Friend 1 (the doctor): Urgh! I hate her. And she keeps requesting stupid things. The whole department calls her Lee Annoying. So rude, and her grammar sucks.

Friend 2 and I: Describe lah...Show us examples.

The doctor: Like, "Eh, you Dr. Chong ah? I got patient lah. Very urgent lor. Can help meh?" You know, a lot of unnecessary Lah, Meh, Lor, Wan, in every sentence! Like penjual ikan!

Friend 2 and I: Hahahaha! Our English is not perfect but this is so funny. Penjual ikan?

The doctor: Very pasal malam type. And my boss always gets so stressed with her English! I'd be stressed too, calling me at 3 in the morning trying to sell fish!

 

Just sharing this coz I find the conversation is funny. Love my friends! Benda macam ni pun nak cerita dekat kitorang.

Can't imagine a doctor trying to sell fish, hahahaha! How professional.

 

 

1) Susah eh nak jalan-jalan ada budak kecik ni?

I don't mind nursing in public. It's just that my husband and I can no longer concentrate on our shopping. Tak boleh tenung and fikir lama-lama when deciding which to buy. Baby's sleeping, good, good, now let's get out of here before he wakes up!

2) When Baby KR was born, he was so good, he latched on my breasts without a struggle. I remember when I first realized that my other breast would leak when he nursed. I thought, "Apa basah ni?" Siap tengok ceiling takut-takut ada paip bocor, haha. Oh, ini ke rupa rupanya 'let down'? Didn't last long though. I thought I had enough milk, I even thought of expressing some of my breastmilk and give it to people who can't breastfeed.

One of my earliest mistakes is I didn't express as early as possible.

You see, I was at Mother's house. And Mother's refrigerator is always full! And even if I managed to pump that early, how am I going to take them all back to my current place? Bukannya dekat...I could avoid this problem if I return to my house soon enough, instead of spending my entire confinement period at Mother's place.

So, I began pumping but the result is disappointing. I don't know lah. Is it the breastpump? Am I not pumping frequent enough? Am I doing it wrongly? Is it just me?

Sometimes, I pump up to 6 times per day, but I only managed 6 oz at most, and that, my dear friends, with DOUBLE pumping, 15 minutes each session! They say it will get better as time goes by. Tak ada perubahan besar pun!

At one occasion, after 5 days of trying, I only got drops of breastmilk. Haaa...I got so emotional, I cried, I found reasons to blame my husband, then I covered myself under the duvet and let my husband take charge of the baby for about half an hour. I was that depressed.

Lepas tu, I took Maxolon. Adalah perubahan sikit. I take one per day instead of three times. Takutlah, orang cakap depression is one of the side effects. My fenugreek pills just arrived today, so lets see if it works.

Despite all my work, my menses resumed. What's wrong with my body? I seem to be sending wrong signals to my systems!

So far, he is still being exclusively breastfed. I don't know how long can it last. If I leave for work, from 8am to 5pm, how much breastmilk should I leave him with? 12 oz? I can't produce that much! :(

3) I am quite reluctant to give my baby to my MIL to be taken care of while I am at work. The supposed person changed her mind. I wanted to put my baby in a nursery but my husband doesn't trust the nursery.

I don't know whether my MIL knows how to handle my breastmilk. Orang dulu-dulu mana reti kan...Dahlah her dominant hand is not strong. She is still under physiotherapy treatment. She broke her arm and was advised for surgery, but she refused. Cannot lah cloth diapering macam ni. Plus, she has another grandson to be take care of.

And what if I don't agree with her ways? Kalau dengan orang nursery tu, boleh lah I sound sound direct je.

And with her condition, I don't want her to do extra for me. My MIL is super nice, I know she will cook lah, she will tidy up the house lah, fold the clothes lah, I just know she will okay...It's not that I don't appreciate her kindness, but it will make me feel guilty. And I really want to be a supermom, so I want to do all the work myself. Besides, I have my own way of doing things.

My husband says it is temporary until we find a helper. Harap-harap paling lama pun sebulan je...

4) Now that I am home with my son, I still don't have the time to cook lunch. Pelik kan? Kemas rumah pun jarang-jarang, itupun I have to stretch the hour.

Then, I terfikir, susahnya jadi orang gaji. Kena jaga anak orang. And your boss expects you to cuci baju, sidai baju, lipat baju, kemas rumah, kadang-kadang siap kena masak...Patutlah ada orang gaji jadi gila.

I yang anak seorang ni pun tak sempat oi...

So far, dinner I masak baru 3 kali. Itu pun sebab my husband requested for it. When my husband wants me to cook, at least I know he will be home to help me look after the baby for a while.

And what about ibu tunggal? Susahnyeeeeeeeee!!!

5) If my baby is cranky, I rasa macam, I need some air! Husband, come home quick! It's your turn!

Eh, but I thought I wanted to be a housewife? Baby cranky pun tak tahan ke?

But I do love my son very much lah. And dia bukan selalu cranky. It's just that, sometimes I am jealous with my husband. He goes out to work but in my mind, he goes out to escape from responsibility. You see how screw up my mind has become?

But I still want to quit my job. And I still want to work.
I'm so indecisive.
I wish I can work from homeeeee!!!



 

 

Taken at 39 weeks of gestation. I wanted to take a picture of my pregnancy figure. I thought I was huge. But then, I realized, "Eh, cannot see tummy lah, Nampak macam tak pregnant pulak!"

 

(I was waiting for my husband, that's him next to me, admiring himself, in the fitting room)

 

 

"Ahhh...This is more like it!" Watermelon round...

 

 

And how did he ever fit into my tummy!

 

 

Waahh...You are so tall! (Exactly one month old when this was taken)

 

I think I have an easy baby.

I am blessed, except when it comes to making him go to sleep! My husband said it's because I had frequent late nights when I was pregnant with him.

My baby passes motion once every three days. At first, I was worried, but he does not fuss, so, I guess he simply takes after me. Heee...I was prepared with my nappy liners, because I was told newborns may soil up to 6 times per day! But in the end, I never use any. Mudah kan...My cousin's baby had the same problem and her paediatrician told her not to worry (in breastfed babies). Apparently, the tummy would absorb all the nutrition from the breastmilk that sometimes, they leave nothing behind to be expelled out from the body!

But now, it's just my husband, baby KR and I. The second day we arrived, baby KR berak sampai 3 kali! But he was his usual self. Good lah, now Daddy is used to handling poop. Tak boleh nak geli geli lagi.

Initially, I planned to spend just 2 weeks at Mother's place. But my husband being superstitious with obeying pantang larang, he wanted me to come back with him after my confinement. I am totally fine with it! But, I got used to spending time in Mother's house, it became hard for me to leave :(

The bright side is, now, I can let my baby cry without anybody picking him up to soothe him. This is important because my baby always sleeps on my breasts. As much as I love how my baby is so dependent on me, at the same time, I want him to stop, for his own good! I'm going back to work soon and bad habits must stop.

Now, I am trying to sleep train my baby, the no-crying method. Ironic, one of the tips is to let the baby learn to soothe himself, which will involve crying no matter what (just not to let him cry for a very long time).

The thing about babies is, when you let them cry even just for 5 minutes, it feels a lot longer than that! I keep fighting with myself, "Am I doing this right?" "Am I a bad mother?" "Will he be scarred for his life?" "Are we bothering the neighbours?" "Why is the clock moving so slow?" "Is five minutes up yet?"

Lima minit pun susah. Hish, my husband lagi teruk! Ek sikit, terus kena angkat! Ek, okay, that's not even a cry! So, my progress has been slow because I can only do the training when my husband is not around.

And, despite having settled down for a few days, my house is still in a mess. Yeah lah, baby asyik nak sleep on my chest, macam mana nak bergerak? Kejang I! But I love, love the feeling of him needing me... Tapi tak best because I tak ada gambar dia banyak banyak...Takkan I nak ambil gambar my baby and my breasts pula kan?

And if I finally have my mojo to clean the house, I need to sacrifice my sleep pula!

I cannot win this battle...

Other than my breasts, my baby loves to sleep in his baby carrier. Seriously. One time, he was crying so bad for HOURS because he was so tired and sleepy, even my experienced Mother AND aunt cannot calm him down. I finally took the baby carrier and poof, like magic, within two minutes he was asleep. Another time, the same thing happened, and the baby carrier saved the day! I refuse to let him associate sleep with the baby carrier though. But at least now I know what to use as the last resort.

We all (Mother, my husband and I) agree- Tak sia-sia I beli baby carrier mahal-mahal weih...

I am also must start to teach baby KR to bottle feed. This is what I worry most. I am now waiting the stuff I ordered from Little Whiz to arrive. Little Whiz is having Warehouse Sales until this Sunday. The items are limited though.

Mula-mula ingat tak payah beli bottle warmer, pakai hot water je...But then, I wouldn't know how 40 degrees should feel like. And since the bottle warmer is cheappppp........

And mula-mula ingatkan tak payah a drying rack, pakai paper towel je and air dry je. (Masa pregnant jatuh cinta dengan Boon Grass drying rack, so pretty!) But since the OXO Tot drying rack is on sales and prettyyyyyyyy........

Ni baru Little Whiz punya sales. Belum lagi pergi Baby Expo yang beribu ribu item tu (still a virgin, somehow never managed to participate in any)...

So far, I am happy with MOST of my purchases I carefully thought and calculated for baby KR. Tak adalah membazir. Kira, not bad lah as a first time parents, I didn't go mad and bought all the unnecessary stuff. (Pats self on the back)

I nak letak gambar but I don't want to wake the baby up. The wire is next to him! Next time lah.

1) The people who know Father, almost had the exact same content of speech whenever they congratulated me for my bundle of joy- Your Father would've been proud/ so happy!

Indeed, he would have, if he was still alive. He would call my son all sorts of nicknames that are mainly words of compliments and doas for him. He would stare at him and hug him and kiss him and play with him. He was an awesome grandfather. My 5-year old niece still remembers him and asks about him from time to time.

And it breaks my heart everytime I am reminded of his absence. I really want him to see/ know that I am doing well and my husband is taking really good care of me. All his efforts to make sure that I had the best he could provide me with, is paid off.

Sometimes, I envy those people who have grandparents. I envy those people whose grandparents pass away when they are in their thirties, whose grandparents are present in their weddings etc.

My son, he doesn't get to see his granddads. Well, at least he still has his adopted granddad. And we can't be sure whether Mother will still be around when my son starts schooling. Mother looks healthy, alright, but age is catching up, I hope I will be mature enough to face the day when it comes.

2) Speaking of envy, I also envy those who can cook.

This started after I got married. (I used to envy people with other skills)

I used to think cooking is easy, look at Masterchef, even ordinary people can cook, you don't need culinary schools to teach you how to cook! If they can do it, so can I!

I can't cook. I masak tak sedap. I think I should take a month off, konon macam an extended maternity leave, but instead, using the spare time to enrol myself for cooking lessons.

I am hopeless. They say you get better if you practice. Well, I've been practising for almost two years, I still suck!

4) I managed to puasa penuh! Syukur I was never too lethargic to fast despite being heavily pregnant.

5) I am happy with the progress of my body.

I never really care about my appearance, I refuse to obsess about how I look like, but I guess that means I really don't mind whether I gain weight and not losing as fast as I wish, or probably, I am just in denial, in my mind, I look okay, but actually, I am not. Haha.

1 month aftet the delivery

Me: Abang, I nampak gemuk tak? Ke sama je macam dulu? (Feeling confident I had nearly achieved my pre pregnancy weight)

Husband: Ha ah, nampak gemuk.

Me: (Shocked) Ye ke! I ingatkan dulu I memang dah buncit sikit macam ni.

Husband: Taklah, lain...

Me: (Annoyed) You ni kan, isteri you dah slim macam ni pun you cakap gemuk! Belum lagi dapat isteri yang betul betul gemuk!

Husband: Hahaha!

The next day, we went for our 1 month check-up. I am currently 52.5kg. My pre pregnancy weight was 50kg, the lightest probably 48kg, no less. I was 60kg before the delivery.

Me: Abang, mana ada I gemuk! Okay lah ni, baru sebulan bersalin, tinggal 2.5kg je!

Annoying tak! Macam ni pun dia kata kita gemuk! And even if I were fat, it's so justified because a baby came out of me just a month ago!

6) Someone put this for her Facebook status: Pergi Umrah dah 10 kali, tapi kenapa masih tak tutup aurat ye? (Can't remember the exact sentence but the essence was this lah- bersangka baik, perhaps she was really wondering!)

The replies were: Ha ah, aku pun tengok Nona hari tu. Sebenarnya dia nak riak je tu...Dia pergi Mekah beli kurma je kot...etc etc

Hish, why?

I didn't watch Nona and I don't know who they were talking about. But, why can't they pray for her to change for the better? Ada ke Tuhan cakap, buat Umrah selalu dijamin jadi alim, so why question? How can you judge her level of Iman just by watching Nona? Do you know her personally? Why must you accuse her of riak? Is that truly her intention? Lepas tu perli dia pulak tu, pergi Mekah bukan sebab nak beribadat, sebab nak shopping, beli buah kurma hence tak dapat hidayah lagi.

I am ashamed of myself, I am ashamed of Allah, and I know the reactions above would be directed to me too. And that's why I rarely tell people, I too have done Umrah (tapi takde lah sampai 10 kali, sekali je baru...)

Bukannya tak nak pakai tudung, I nak pakai, tapi slowly...Ni pun baru nak belajar, so nanti tak payahlah kutuk I pakai tudung on and off pula ye?

People are hard to please!

Okaylah. Standard delivery story first.

I delivered 6 days after my EDD (expected due date). Pain started 5 days after EDD.

I was unwell before that, had a bad case of cough. Been coughing so bad, until my left rib hurt. It lasted more than a week. At first, I tahan only with medications bought at the pharmacy. But it persisted, so I resorted to real medicines, obtained from the clinic, was given antibiotic.

At the same time, I anticipated for labour. But I guess it's good that I didn't deliver when I had the cough, didn't want the baby to get infected, and, I didn't want to push while I'm coughing! Koyak rabak nanti...Hehehe...Been telling myself not to feel depressed, at least my body would stock up the antibodies, good for the baby! God's plan is pretty cool...

Hari-hari fikir, is it today? Will it be tomorrow? Tapi bila weekend datang, please God, don't let me deliver over the weekend. The doctor said I would be induced if I still don't deliver 6 days after EDD and advised me to come to the hospital if baby doesn't move as much. Masa ni I depressed because I didn't want to be induced...(Takut sakit teramat)

Should I lie (doctor, baby doesn't move as much) so that I could deliver earlier? Decided against it because didn't want to deliver based on a lie, bad omen nanti to baby...Hehehe...Kang betul-betul reduced fetal movement kang, menyesal dulu pendapatan...

Initially planned to deliver at another hospital, but ended up in the hospital nearer to Mother's house. Best decision ever! I can't imagine how someone can travel while having the pain. And my husband got the sleep he needed (dia memang mengada-ngada, tidur wajib cukup!).

So, pain started at 6.30am. Sembahyang Subuh pun cepat-cepat sebab rasa nak terkencing je..."Yes! Nabi pun lahir hari Isnin!" as I thought I would deliver on Monday.

Wasn't so bad at first, still managed to continue sleeping afterwards. Had only tea and biscuits for breakfast. Pain becoming more regular, so I started to finish up packing my hospital bag: things like handphone charger etc etc.

Went online to buy flight tickets for my husband. Was supposed to buy it earlier but biasa lah, kerja last minute. Lepas tu ada problem with the transaction process, kena contact the customer service pulak...I am superwoman okay! Boleh cakap-cakap sambil tahan sakit.

At 12pm, told my husband that we would go to the hospital after 2pm (hoping that I would have show or my water would break by that time). I didn't want to go earlier because well, malas nak duduk hospital lama-lama...Then, we had visitors (datang nak beraya), but they didn't stay long as my husband politely told them, my aunt and uncle, that I was having labour pain. Vomited because was in so much pain. Basically, perut sudah jadi kosong. Nak lunch pun tak lalu...

At 2.30pm, baru terhegeh-hegeh nak fikir baju apa nak pakai. Seriously, takkan I nak pakai baju cantik-cantik, nanti kena darah etc. So, I pakai selekeh gila, which were a knee-length pyjama (one of the few clothes that still fit me at that time) with a pair of yoga pants. Haha! Sempat lagi asked my husband to remove all jewelleries from my body.

On the way, singgah ATM because my husband didn't have any cash. Tak larat nak marah, swipe card je tak boleh ke... But I guess, cash is important kalau nak beli food etc...

Sampai hospital at 3.30pm, immediately was asked to change to hospital gown. Thank God! Takde lah buruk sangat...

Pain since 6.30am and I was only 2cm at 3.30pm. Ugh, so annoying. That was the first time I experienced VE (vaginal examination) and it was not as bad as I thought it would (based on what I read on the Internet). Just inhale deeply and relax...

CTG took longer that it should be because I kept moving and squirming because of the pain and the sensation that I needed to pee so badly...! Finally, CTG was normal but discovered blood all over the bed.

Scan was done and my amniotic fluid was more than it should be. Nak deliver dah baru dapat detect. They decided to wait for the water to spontaneously break.

Was given a painkiller injection called Nubain. Okaylah, ada kurennggg sikit aje...

Wheeled to the ward.

Scolded my husband for not bringing food or drinks for me. (Itu pun nak kena ingatkan ke?!!!) When he wanted to buy, scolded my husband for wanting to leave me. Haha!

My husband has low pain threshold. Seeing me and other women in pain made him dizzy. Ugh, annoying lagi. I tengah sakit, dia pulak nak ngada-ngada pening. Focus on ME, please!

He bought me mee goreng! Who the hell have the appetite for oily food at times like that! Luckily, I have energy bars with me. Well, tak de lah energy bar sangat, setakat Chewy by Quaker tu je...And Vitagens.

Friends called randomly, didn't have the mood to talk. Didn't tell anyone I was in labour, tapi diorang ni macam tau tau je tau...

Everytime the contraction came, memang sakit, but only for that time frame. After it went away, rasa okay je. So, agak annoying di situ because the contraction became longer and more frequent (naturally)! The nurse came, told that it was now moderate to strong contraction (I felt no different whatsoever, it had always been moderate to strong!). VE again, 5-6cm.

What!!! It's nearly 10pm and I was only 5-6cm. I was hoping to deliver on Monday, guess that was not going to happen.

Since I thought my progress was slow, with no food for the whole day, I could feel that I won't have the energy to tahan, so, requested for epidural.

While waiting for the doctor, siap masuk toilet and I was on my all fours to try to tahan the pain. Discovered that it helped, so I tried doing it on the bed. Haha. Buruk perangai. Suka hati lah...Selawat je...Drifted in and out of sleep trying to pass the time.

Wheeled to the labour room. Was told too late for epidural. WTF! Doctor said don't need epidural since she thought I would dilate pretty fast after she break my water. Why didn't you break my water earlier thennnnnnnn!!!

Oh, because at first, wanted to wait until my water spontaneously break by itself.

Then, she did break my water, controlled ARM (artificial rupture of membrane). Special procedure, not the normal ARM, but controlled ARM because my amniotic fluid reading was 23 (which is more than normal).

Became 8cm. Given another painkiller injection (Nubain). Tak ada perubahan pun!

Perut kempis. Baby's kicks became more palpable.

1am, called my husband to come to the labour room. Sedaplah dia dah tidur siap-siap dekat rumah.

Midwife asked my husband to urut my pinggang/ belakang. I didn't appreciate it because
- don't like people to touch me when I am in pain
- I tak sakit pinggang atau sakit belakang pun! I sakit perut okay, perut!!!!

Tried the gas...Only minimal relief, but kept using it in hope that the chemical would somehow build in my body and will finally have some effect. Sungguh hopeful masa ni.

But, I can still smile smile at that time. Ye lah, jumpa suami kena smile smile. And must smile smile to the midwife too, barulah suasana ceria...Sempat lagi borak kejap...Midwife siap cakap, "Eh, Miss Ectopy ni siap senyum senyum pulak." Then, siap cerita I was supposed to deliver around Raya time, how was Labour Room during Raya? They said, "Busy gilaaa!!!" Eh, saya ingatkan time Raya ramai orang balik kampung? "Tak, Miss Ectopy...Banyak yang kena emergency caesar pulak tu! Nasib baik Miss bersalin hari ni, tak adalah busy sangat..."

My husband complained that the labour room smelled funny and excused himself. I know, pening nak pengsanlah tu...

I had very minimal handling by the staff. They checked me once or twice and simply said, "Ha, kalau rasa nak teran tu, teran je lah..." Masa baby nak keluar tu baru diorang siap-siap put on their gowns and gloves. Very experienced people...

I thought I would be 10cm in 30 minutes, but it passed...Thought it would be in 1 hour, but 1 hour passed...Dua jam jugak lah nak tunggu 10cm tu!

"Kak, lepas baby keluar dah tak sakit kan?" I asked (sempat lagi nak bercakap). "Haa...lepas tu dah tak sakit dah..."

So, well, I was 10cm, my husband was waiting outside. The midwife asked, "Miss, Miss nak panggil suami?" Urgh, tak payahlah...Dia tu masuk labour room pun dah pening-pening kepala. "Miss, Miss nak saya panggil doktor?" Urgh, tak kisahlah, midwife deliver pun dah tak kisah!

The usual pushhh, curi nafas sikit, and pushhh...Yeah, you try doing that! Nafas I pendek kot...I don't know how I'm supposed to curi nafas.

My motivation was, lepas baby keluar, dah tak sakit! So, please keluar cepatttt!!!!

"Miss, sikit lagi! Good, good...Dah nampak kepala baby...Push lagi...! Kalau boleh taknak episiotomy!" said the midwife.

Hish, I cannotlah...Last-last episiotomy. She didn't tell me but I was aware lah.

At 3.02am, baby is out! Baby is cantik! Yeay!

"Miss, baby rupa husband!"

Peluk peluk kejap...Injection was given to me, pastu tunggu the placenta...Pastu baru midwife tu cakap, "Miss, tadi saya buat episiotomy, so kena jahit ni..."

Buatlah apa yang nak...She was so experienced, I didn't feel any pain at all. Siap tidur-tidur lagi masa kena jahit tu. But I was sooo thirsty. Never felt THAT thirsty in my entire life, seriously! And I felt soooo sooooo tired! Exhausted, memang pancit habis!

Tapi lepas baby keluar tu, I thought the pain was not so bad lah...Still boleh tahan what...Terus fikir nak baby lagi! Oh, tamak haloba!

"Miss nak air kosong ke Milo?" I opted for Milo. Even though I was so thirsty, didn't finish the drink. Then, saw my husband and was wheeled to the ward...

Okay, end! (I think the way I've written pun dah boleh tahu I am in a rush, hehe...Oh, my baby!)

1) My husband likes to watch Tanah Kubur on Astro Oasis. A recent episode was about a man who was derhaka to his mother. He kicked his mother out of his house. The mother said, "Mak tak halalkan susu yang mak beri kamu waktu kamu kecil dulu."

The man died and spoilt milk kept drooling from his mouth.

My niece watched it with us. She had many questions and I answered as simple as a 5-year old should and could understand.

Niece: Semalam Niece muntah.

Me: Ye? Kenapa?

Niece: Sebab Niece makan banyak sangat.

Me: Oh, okay.

Silence. Watching TV.

Niece: Auntie, Auntie, semalam kan, Niece tak kawan dengan Mama, dengan Papa, sebab Mama and Papa tak bagi Niece makan mi!

Me: Ye ke...

Niece: Tapi bila Niece muntah, tak keluar susu pun. Keluar makanan je...

Hahaha...So, she reckons, if you argue with your parents, you'd vomit spoilt milk! Terima kasih, Astro Oasis. Bagus!



2) Despite wearing kain batik since the day I got home from the hospital, I still cannot master the art of tying it! Terlondeh je...



3) During the labour pain, I keep reminding myself to berselawat and control my breathing whenever I could. Towards the end, I couldn't help but curse under my breathe. Of course, nobody could hear me. I remember muttering, "Oh, shit, oh, shit!" while inhaling the gas that's supposed to help me.

I didn't dare to curse using any other words because I don't want to influence my kid lah. I chose the word Shit because, well, it did feel like shitting, so in a way, I was not cursing, I was just describing what I was going to do.

Ayat sedapkan hati!



4) I gave birth in a government hospital and I had a pleasant experience. I don't understand why there is so much negative comments about the service.

I think, underneath it all, it depends on how well we are mentally prepared.

Like, it is really ridiculous if you have such a high expectation in a hospital that you are minimally paying.

And, usually, if you are nice to the staff, they will treat nicely too. Remember the rule of treating people like you expect to be treated! I also read about a husband who complaints about the staff in a government hospital who well, didn't tell him what exactly to do while his wife was in labour. Ini pun I rasa bodoh jugak. You have nine freaking months to read books and the Internet, even more than enough time to join as many antenatal classes as you wish, but you waited until the day of delivery and expect other people to tell you or you want people to demonstrate to you what you are supposed to do? Please! Ingat kau sorang dalam hospital tu?

Some of the complaints are petty, like, "Kena marah sebab teran tak betul," (Habis tu, kalau anak dah hampir lemas, takkan nak dipuji pula?) "Sakit sangat masa jahit," (Wah...Nama pun dijahit, mestilah sakit tu ada sikit...) "Doctor tak sambut, nurse je sambut," (Ingat ratio doctor pesakit tu sama banyak ke?) "Makanan tak sedap langsung," (How much are you paying? Sila beli sendiri if you think the food disgust you so much) "Doctor tu asyik nak seluk je," (I'm sure it's the same, standard procedure in most hospitals, private or not), "Tak ada privacy langsung," "Aku jerit dekat guard tu aku tetap nak jumpa isteri aku," (Please respect the visiting hours as it is a female ward, it is an obstetric ward, and then you complaint your wife was denied the right to get a female doctor and your wife was examined without discretion, padahal you pun main redah visiting hours, violating other women's rights to rest and to be examined without the presence of an unprofessional male) etc.

We always tend to think we are special and deserve more, don't you think? Macamlah nurse and doctor tu tak ada kerja lain nak melayan kerenah kau seorang. Ingat kuli ke?

Perhaps I was lucky. But I am really pleased with the service, I even asked my husband to buy a hamper for all the staff who took care of me and my baby.

(Disclaimer: I was warded in a first-class ward, not in the 2-bedded room that I'm qualified to get though, but I didn't mind. I was in the normal ward for a few hours before being transferred to the first-class ward, called once there was a vacancy. I was prepared with the possibility that the first-class ward might be full, I even brought a wire extension so I could share the port with my neighbours. Haha. Oh, and I was never hospitalized before nor I had experience at other hospitals, so I really have nothing to compare with. I am pleased nevertheless!)



5) I did not forget to ask for my husband's forgiveness before he went back. It's just that I shy shy cat lah nak berdrama macam tu dalam hospital...Kang dia kata I ni buang tebiat.

You know how they say giving birth is like berjihad kecil, all the small sins will be forgiven.

So, after the delivery, I tried to maintain a pure heart lah, so I can be suci for a longer time. Then I remembered, when my hus6band asked me to wear socks, I bluntly said No, sebab panas. So, tu dah kira dosa lah kan sebab tak ikut cakap suami. Hehe. Banyak lagi lah kan yang I degil/ annoyed dengan perangai orang. Hehe.

So, as I'm writing this, I sent a text message to ask for his forgiveness. His reply: Abang ampunkan dosa sayang, isteri tersayang.

Auwww...

And dia terus call and asked me, "You ni pantang ke tidak ni?" Laa...I baru bagi contoh tak pakai stokin je...

Haha. Susah ada confinement police ni!



6) I actually have a few posts in the form of drafts because my labour and confinement stories are so long, I cannot finish them without getting interrupted. Slowly but surely, bersabarlah ye...

Bukan cerita baby, tapi cerita biasa biasa over the last few weeks...

1) A friend posted on Facebook that she was told: It's best to berbuat baik dengan kanak-kanak because they generally have the purest hearts, hence if they are happy with you, their prayers for you are mostly makbul.

2) Niece: Auntie Ectopy white. Uncle Ectopy black. Husband: Hahaha... Me: What about you? Niece: I am peach!

Niece: Auntie Ectopy, look, my eyes are blue! Me: Hah, ye lah tu...(Malas nak layan budak perasan ni, haha)

Amboi...Dia punya colour yang cantik cantik je...

3) When I was pregnant, I dreamt my husband had an affair with a girl named Sakinah.

Ni mesti sebab terlalu terkesan dengan cerita Ashraf Muslim-Dayana-Sakinah tu kan...

4) I also dreamt that I met my great grandmother who was loved dearly by Father. She raised Father and was a kind lady.

Her last years of living were spent at our house.

As a kid, I could not adjust well and thought of her as an intruder. I was rude to her because she always wanted to touch me with her wrinkly hands.

That is one of my biggest regrets in life.

I knew I should not be too hard on myself, I was only a kid. But I always feel guilty, as I don't know whether she had forgiven me.

I haven't dreamt about her in a very, very, very long time.

In the dream, she looked happy and she talked to me as if I've never wronged her.

I woke up happy.

5) Father also appeared in my dream.

We hugged.

I am so grateful to be given the chances to meet them in Ramadhan.

6) I am happier whenever I dream about being in my old house. It contains so much memories...

7) After I returned from the hospital, my husband and I had lunch together. We were still overwhelmed by the fact that we now have a baby.

My husband suddenly said, "Comel kan baby...I tak faham macam mana ada orang sanggup tak sayang, tak kesian dekat baby."

I told him that I had the exact same thoughts!

Husband: Sebab tu I tak boleh maafkan ayah I bagi I dekat orang. Sanggup dia suruh orang lain bela I. Sampai hati dia bagi I pada orang.

Me: (Don't know how to respond to that, so I was quiet)

Husband: I marah sangat. I tak nak jumpa ayah I. I pernah jumpa dia sekali je, lepas tu dia meninggal dunia. Dia pun tak pernah nak jumpa I. Dia malu kot...

Mak (kandung) pun malu juga kot dengan I. Sejak akhir akhir ni je I start jumpa dia.

Sebab tu I lebih sayang Ma (angkat) berbanding dengan Mak (kandung). Padahal kalau dari segi hukum, I sepatutnya dahulukan Mak (kandung).





Dahlah I baru lepas bersalin masa tu, of course lah I rasa sebak sangat after listening to my husband's revelations.

I wanted to tell him to not hold grudges. There must be a valid reason. Perhaps, they didn't want to give him away, but they did it out of mercy, because Ma (angkat) did not have a child yet then.

In which, there are hikmahs. At least my husband is sufficiently educated. And circumstances brought him to our first encounter, where he fell in love with me at first sight. (I still don't know how love at first sight is even possible, I mean, you just looked at me, we had a very, very brief conversation, and you knew I was the one? I am skeptic)

I thought dah tua tua ni my husband can finally let go. Tapi ni dah macam childhood trauma. He still feels like he's unwanted and not loved. Sigh.

8) I wore a long skirt to the clinic, carrying my baby, as we were advised by the nurses to check for baby's jaundice level.

Husband: You nampak tua dah sejak ada baby ni. Nampak matang.

Me: Mana ada...I masih hot okay!

Then, my name was called to the reception counter.

Husband: (Suddenly laughs) Bontot you besarlah sejak bersalin ni! Hahaha!

Sejak hari tu, hari hari mesti tengok bontot dekat cermin lepas mandi. I have to admit, memang besar, tapi tetap malas pakai bengkung tu...Hehe...

Baby Part 1

Hello.

 

There are a lot of things to write but I only have two hours, that's including the distractions from online shopping, baby, Facebook and others...So, there will be many many parts, in the span of...I can't give an estimation, we'll see, I can't say...

 

Anyway, so as you all probably have expected, I've given birth to a baby boy. Healthy? I think so. At first, they detected some heart problems, but he was discharged on the same day itself by the Paediatric team. Yesterday, at ten-day old, he was suspected to have jaundice. I knew he looked fine (I look at him every single day, no skin colour changes whatsoever), I even make him sleep under the fluorescent lights every single night as a caution, but...I took him to the doctor anyway, Mother insisted. Besides, I needed an excuse to get out from the house, hehehe...Wheee...So, yeah, he was NOWHERE near to jaundice, his level was way, way below the jaundice level. Nurses were wrong, my son memang berkulit kuning langsat!

 

But, bad Mommy because I made my baby got a needle prick for blood taking despite me knowing he was not yellow. Boohoo...I am so sorry, Darling! Good baby, however, he slept through and didn't make a sound...Mommy is so proud...

 

So, yeah, I would say my son is pretty healthy and strong.

 

My labour story is pretty easy, will come to that later, if I still have the mood.

 

And remember how I complained and whined about waiting to deliver? Well, there's a story to that too.

 

So far, I am hating the confinement. Because I don't believe in some the things they say, which I find ridiculous!

 

Well, baby is up! Continue later.

 

I like my Facebook friends now. As it is now Ramadhan, many choose to respect the holy month by sharing beneficial ustadz ustazah-like posts. Tak sia sia lah I cuti dan ber online kan...Dapat juga sedikit sebanyak ilmu.

A few of the statements I like are:

1) Memberi duit raya itu tak wajib, tapi yang wajib adalah melangsaikan hutang. Jadi, tak perlu rasa pressure kena bagi duit raya banyak-banyak.

Eloklah diajarkan kanak-kanak untuk tidak mengharapkan duit raya bila datang melawat. Nanti tuan rumah stressed pula.

To me, kalau setakat berniat nak bersedeqah dan menggembirakan kanak-kanak, apa salahnya...

Ada betulnya statement di atas ni. Kadang-kadang ada orang nak jaga air muka, berlagak macam orang kaya, tapi sebenarnya hutang sekeliling pinggang tak sedar. Sebab dia kira tolak bulan-bulan, tak ada effort nak bayar lebih untuk settle kan hutang cepat-cepat.

I pula selalu berdoa supaya dijauhi daripada beban berhutang. Tapi at the same time sibuk survey nak beli rumah. Macam mana tu? If I were God, mesti I confuse, eh hamba, what do you want actually? Haha. But I know mesti Allah tahu what I mean in my doa kan...He is the most knowledgeable, hence He will give what's best for me, or at least what I deserve lah.

Rumah sekarang mahal kan? Pilihan di hati mesti cecah juta juta punya...Adoi...Husband selalu optimiatic cakap one day we sure can afford it. Tapi nak tunggu one day, some day tu, mestilah harga dia belas belas juta pula kot...



2) Berhemah dalam menegur suami atau isteri dalam beribadat.

Ada orang siap perli perli suami tak pergi terawih, tapi secara tak sedar dah terguris hati suami. Mungkin suami balik lewat sebab cari rezeki, sebab itu tanggungjawab suami, wajib mencari rezeki untuk keluarga, sedangkan berterawih itu cuma sunat.

Tapi sayanglah kalau tinggal sunat setahun sekali tu...Kan?



3) Sunat pada Hari Raya ialah memakai pakaian terbaik pada hari itu, bukannya pakai baru! Jadi, tak perlu shopping raya sampai membazir.

Sebenarnya, I pun dah lama dah stop bershopping raya. To me, I bukan orang miskin yang beli baju setahun sekali. Kalau tak raya pun, I shopping juga and banyak juga baju baju yang masih elok. Buat penuh wardrobe je...

Kalau zaman Father I, fahamlah juga. He used to tell us that his school uniform was considered as baju raya. Kalau dapat beli kasut baru tu, it means getting a new pair of white shoes for school.

I always think orang yang semangat shopping raya, sampai ke kasut raya dan handbag raya ni, memang orang yang susah kot, that's why tunggu Raya sales.

Dulu, I selalu pelik kenapa some people make it such a big deal about graduating. I mean, you graduate lah. Tapi kenapa nak sampai panggil atok nenek, baby kecik kena panas, satu kampung naik bus bawa bunga, teddy bear semua...Padahal yang boleh masuk dewan tu dua orang je, result pun tak gempak sangat, and it is such a boring event! I tengok orang putih relax je...

Then someone told me it is because she/ he is the first one to go to the university, so it is a huge achievement for them.

Then, barulah I faham kenapa orang seronok sangat bergraduasi. See, I used to be so naive...I ingat orang semua sama macam I ke...

As I mature, I stopped judging people (well, maybe not entirely stopped, but greatly reduce lah).

And I also learned that Malaysia ni sebenarnya tak adalah maju sangat. Tahun millennium pun masih ramai rakyat yang datang dari keluarga tak berpendidikan.

Hari tu jalan-jalan pergi KLCC. I like jalan-jalan dekat tempat high class ni. Rasa macam, wow, hebatnya rakyat negara kita ni. Suka ah I tengok especially the Muslims yang trendy trendy, masa time balik kerja banyak corporate-looking ladies and gentlemen, pastu nampak macam so successful gitu.

Bila shopping tengok pakai bag Tods, beli barang Burberry, LV lah...Sampai I pun terikut-ikut nak masuk Chanel lah, Georgio Armani lah...If were a tourist, I would think Malaysia is very prosperous.

But as a Malaysian, I know this is not the reality. There are many poor Malaysians.

Before I start working in my field, I know lah kita ada lorry drivers, ada farmers...But I never really personally encountered any of them. Dulu I anggap diorang ni foreigners. Tapi bila dah kerja, dah kenal dunia, dah matang, I became more and more aware about my surroundings. There are Malaysian families with no cars, there are still fathers yang kerja buruh kasar, ibu yang kerja cleaners, children yang tak ke sekolah...

So, yeah, it means so much more to them what we often take for granted.

(Apasal I punya elaboration dah lari daripada point sebenar?)



4) Jangan minta hidup yang mudah, tapi mintalah hati yang tabah. Jangan minta dikurangkan ujian, tapi mintalah dibesarkan iman.

Yes, this is one of the Malay dilemmas. Semua nak mudah. Recently, in the news, syarat kemasukan untuk rakyat dari negara Pakistan, Bangladesh dan lain lain akan diperketatkan. Buat style orang putih, you have to declare the amount of money you have, the place and person you are going to stay with, your confirmation of ticket back to your original country...

Lepas tu, keluar dekat TV3, an organisation called IKHLAS, kononnya menyokong tindakan ini demi masyarakat bumiputera. They said: Sekarang ni, banyak pekerja asing buat business dekat Jalan TAR, Chow Kitt dan sebagainya, which menutup periuk nasi orang Malaysia.

Come on lah! Nak nasi banyak, kena kerja kuat, bukan asyik mengharapkan pertolongan. I pun tak paham berapa kali kena bagi peluang. Kerja nak senang, persaingan sikit dari orang asing pun dah rasa threatened, cubalah up sikit your game. Kenapa orang asing datang negara kita boleh berjaya, tapi kita di tanah air sendiri susah sangat nak naik? Padahal tak ada kerajaan yang bantu pun pendatang pendatang tu. Hasil titik peluh dia sendiri, memang patutlah rezeki dia dapat mana-mana pun. Kenapa dengki sangat?

Orang kita ni, bagi subsidi tak appreciate, jual pula pada negara jiran. I personally know someone yang brag about her brother seludup beras lah, minyak lah...Tak malu ke?

Lepas tu complaint orang kaya makin kaya. Dah memang mentaliti orang kaya cari property, bukan duduk goyang kaki beli benda bukan-bukan. Kita juga banyak complaint, tentang orang lain punya gaji besar sangat. Sometimes kan, I rasa macam nak jerit je, lah, memang patutlah orang tu gaji besar. Ingat masa sekolah dia tak belajar ke, engkau tu masa sekolah banyak main. Senang-senang nak gaji besar bila dah tua? Bila dah tua dengki pula. Ingat CEO tu duduk pejabat goyang kaki ke? Tak fikir tentang tanggungjawab yang beliau kena pikul? Ingat mudah ke nak sustain a company?

Tak ada equation yang mengatakan kerja senang akan dapat gaji besar. Kalau ada, maksudnya ada something wrong di situ...Macam skim cepat kaya tu. Nak kaya kena usaha, okay! Logiklah sikit!

I dengar cerita pekerja-pekerja husband I pun jadi tension tau. Like, ada ke patut nak minta cuti sebulan sebab nak berniaga dekat Bazaar Ramadhan. Like, hello, you nak kerja ke tanak? Tak kesahlah you nak cari makan lebih, kita tak halang, but you kena fikir lah tanggungjawab, takkan nak makan gaji buta kot. Tak raya dosa ke?

Ada yang nak balik awal sebab nak shopping raya. Like OMG, macamlah tak ada masa lain nak shopping! My husband ni pula, baik sangat. Pekerja nak pinjam duit, ok, pekerja nak gaji awal, ok, pekerja tak datang patut tolak gaji, ok, penyelia tapi tak menyelia, ok, cakap pun lemah lembut je...Hish, mana tak pekerja pijak kepala...Bukan boss je yang pening kepala, isteri boss pun jadi tension. "Kenapa baik sangat? Kalau I, I cakap je, lain kali tak payah tunjuk muka!" I told him just now.

The only reliable worker is this pakcik tua yang rajin, yang ada dua anak doktor, salah seorang doktor pakar lagi. See, patutnya tak payah kerja pun, tapi nak kerja juga walaupun anak anak bagi duit. Yang lain tu, haiyo, macam macam perangai. Nak kesian, tapi macam, menguji kesabaran sangat!









Okay lah, actually nak cerita satu benda lagi. Tapi di interrupted sebab ada drama live sebelah rumah I ni. Tengah tengah malam gaduh sampai polis datang semua. Dato' dituduh menipu duit. Hehehe. Maka orang tu mengamuk dengan kayu golf. Jangan ada adegan tembak menembak dah lah...

Disebabkan I sekarang ni merupakan surirumah yang ada banyak spare time, haruslah I mem busy body mengintip dari tingkap.

Ada budak tu suka sangat duduk dalam perut Mommy! I've been walking every single day trying to induce myself, but to no avail. Sometimes, I would feel pain or contractions, but once I stopped walking, it would go away...I don't even know what else to buy! Okay, that reminds me, I have to buy a thermos. At first, I thought I won't be needing it because I will breastfeed my baby. But then, Mother's house has no water heater, so kesian baby kena mandi air sejuk nanti.

Baju baby pun ada enam je...Entah, don't want to go overboard and don't know exactly what size to buy. Many say babies will outgrow the clothes pretty fast, visitors will buy you gifts, etc, so might as well jangan membazir. But, I've trained my husband, in case of emergency (clothes supply running low), I showed him where to go and I want my teenage niece to go with him to avoid him from choosing ugly/ ridiculously expensive baby apparels. Ataupun, beli online je...

People have been advising me to eat whatever I want now since I would be in pantang during Hari Raya celebration. So, I've broken my 9-month record without raw food as I finally had some sushis and oysters. Sikit aje...One time tu, teringin makan lemang, so beli lemang sedap but rendang tak sedap.

Yesterday, I dragged myself to see the doctor (I really thought it would be the last time previously). Everybody was pleasant, service was good but my blood is dropping. It was 10.6. I thought it was okay but the doctor said this is crucial especially since baby is growing, he is 39 weeks today. So, I need to consume extra pills, drink more milk etc. Husband was unaware about the seriousness of this condition at first. While waiting for the doctor to scan me, my eyes began to water. Felt like a bad mother. But I quickly snapped out of it before anyone could see. Like, Ectopy, apa ni sikit sikit nak nangis! The scan, on the other hand, showed normal amount of air ketuban, so thank God for that.

My husband said, I don't need to fast and must start to focus on increasing my blood supply. I don't know...I feel fine, the baby 's movement is fine...I am afraid God will accuse me of purposely skip my Rukun Islam when we are both fine. I thought the reason my baby is still snuggling inside of me is because I believe God wants to ease my journey, so I don't have to qada' puasa. But now, with this news...I really don't know. I serahkan semuanya pada Allah and Allah's plans are the best for me.

Funny thing is, semalam je husband beriya iya suruh tak payah puasa. Hari ni lupa terus. I am fasting today, but he has not said anything yet. Lupa lah tu...Since the doctor has prescribed more meds for me, lets try that route first and see whether it is effective or not, eh?

Actually, I am a bit under the weather. Batuk sampai tak ada suara. Nasib baik demam tak sangat. Risau juga, nanti baby keluar berjangkit dengan I pula...Pray for my speedy recovery, okay...

Below was written yesterday:

Me: Good morning, Abang!
Husband: Morning!
Me: Lambatnya nak balik rumah....
Husband: Mana ada lambat, lusa kita baliklah....
Me: Bukan lusa lah! You cakap hari Selasa! Hari ni baru hari Sabtu!

My only conversation with my husband this morning. And a few other words which involved,

Husband: (Kisses me) Abang keluar dulu eh...
Me: Abang nak pergi mana?
Husband: Abang nak bla bla bla....

Then I drifted back to sleep. Hehe.

My accomplishments so far are sweeping and mopping the floor of my master bedroom, kitchen and dining room. The master bedroom took the longest to finish, because it included cleaning the fan!

Penat gila...

I know that I should be resting (sebab taknak baby keluar cepat), but my house is so dusty. And since I already started my leave, might as well get it done and get it over with. Nanti I balik from Klang Valley, takdelah I serabut tengok rumah berselerak.

Plus, I can only do this kind of work when my husband is not at home. If not, orang tengah sapu sampah, dia jalan sana, jalan sini, mata tak tengok pun habuk tu sedang berlonggok dekat mana, main langgar je. Pastu nanti dia complaint panaslah, pastu nak buka kipaslah, pastu hish....Memang mendatangkan amukan!

Yesterday, I was really, really tired. I thought it's because of my low haemoglobin level, but I've been very good, never missed a dose since it's been prescribed to me. And I checked in the mirror, I am pink, not pale...

Terlalu penat sampai I taknak masak initially. But, by the time I asked my husband to bring me break fast outside, the hotel we wanted to go to is already fully booked.

I pulled a chair from the dining table, and do the dishes and cutting and cooking while sitting, that's how tak larat I was yesterday. My husband hanya membantu rubbing my back watching me washing the dishes sambil berkata, "Tak pe, Yang, tinggalkan lah...Nanti Abang basuh."

Well, I learned not to trust this kata-kata manis. I mean, he will eventually do it, but sangat lambat, pastu nanti dia main letak je mana-mana padahal I have a very specific ways to kemas my dapur. (OCD much?)

Actually, I already plan to buy a small kitchen table with chairs, because I will be needing extra spaces to become the baby's drying rack. Tapi tak beli beli lagi sebab tak reti nak survey dekat mana selain dari Ikea. Haha!

It's weird even though physically I was tired, I couldn't fall asleep as easy as I expected. Insomnia ke ape...Pukul 1 pagi baru terlelap. My husband yang dah tidur siang lebih sejam, tak kemas rumah, dan tak masak pun tidur lagi awal kot...

And I confess that I am not a good cook. But, it's really weird lah when my husband wants me to cook. I mean, bukan sedap pun! Dahlah masak benda sama je...Who dares to be adventurous during the fasting month? Not that I can taste the food beforehand...But my colleagues say, "Air tangan seorang isteri tu lain..."

Chewaaahhh.....If  that is true, that really explains my situation.

Iya ke.......????

-----

My husband texted me just now,

Husband: Nak Abang buat booking untuk buka puasa ke?
Me: Tak payahlah....Kita bukan makan banyak pun, membazir je...I nak pizza je hari ni, boring makan nasi.

(True story, bayar mahal-mahal, makan sikitttttt je...)

Husband: Nak pergi beli kacang pandai ke?
Me: Kalau Abang tak penat, boleh jugak.

Kacang pandai, or its other name is: Pistachio. To my husband, it's Pinocchio.

Haha!

Husband I ni kan dibesarkan secara kampong dan Melayu habis. Dia tak tahu pun cerita Pinocchio tu pasal apa....Kalau dia tengok cerita Fairy Tales ke, cerita Shrek ke, memang dia tak paham. Sebab tu my husband is not a movie goer. Dia tengok Sports Channel je...

Me: Abang, I look like Humpty Dumpty! Or, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.
Abang: (No response. Meaning he doesn't know what I am talking about)
Me: You tahu tak Humpty Dumpty? Humpty Dumpty tu sebiji telur yang jatuh lalu pecah! Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...

Yup, he has no idea! Haha!

Me: Kampung ahhhh you ni!!! Tu pun tak tahu....Masa you kecik, you masuk tadika mana hhaaaa??!!!

And that's why we always wonder how can we end up with each other! We are soooooo different! Sometimes, he didn't get some of the things I find funny! Our songs pun tak sama...

I came across the Malay drama advertisements on TV.

Me: Abang, orang Melayu ni, kalau buat cerita, mesti nak konon-konon bercinta dekat overseas.
Husband: Ha ah. Tengok macam Abang, tak payah nak berangan, memang dapat pun girlfriend dekat overseas! Hahahaha!
Me: Abang, Abang rasa senang tak masa Abang nak tackle I dulu?
Husband: Senang je....!!! (Muka berlagak)
Me: Hahahaha! (Penipu habis! Mula-mula I tak layan kot!)

(Okay, then I stopped writing because hubby came home and we went out to buy kacang pandai tu)
Sambung cerita hari ni.

Texting my husband:

Me: Abang! Penatlah....Sidai baju pun mengah. Ni nak kena sapu and mop living room ni....Sila beri kata-kata motivasi.
Husband: Kalau penat berehat dulu. Masa sapu ingat muka Abang. Baru dapat pahala...Hahaha!

Motivasi lah sangat!

-----

Sekarang ni kan, I sensitive sangat.

Baca kisah Ashraf Muslim- Nangis.

Baca kisah budak kena tinggal dalam kereta- Nangis.

Husband mumbled in sleep and asked me not to disturb him- Nangis.

Mimpi jumpa moyang- Nangis.

OMG!!!!

Husband: Nanti baby dah keluar, you kawan dengan baby lah...Jangan kacau Abang, sikit-sikit nak call je...

Lepas tu cerita baby kena tinggal.

Me: Abang, kalau I terlupa baby kita macam mana? Jangan buat tingkap kereta kita tinted sangat lah. At least, kalau tertinggal, ada orang boleh nampak.
Tapi....I rasa, antara you dengan I, you lagi pelupa! See! That's why I kena call you every hour to remind you things!

Husband: Hhmm...

Me: You lah, tak bagi I call you selalu-selalu sangat....You tau tak, ada orang komen dekat Facebook, dia cakap, "Sebab tu Islam tak bagi isteri dan ibu bekerja. Nak kena elak benda macam ni terjadi." Eeeee...Bodoh gila! Habis tu, kalau dah laki tu miskin, nak bagi anak makan apa? Baguslah isteri dia tolong cari duit lebih. Patutnya, suami dia pun kena tolonglah jaga anak! Macamlah orang yang jadi fulltime housewife tu takde terlupa apa-apa...

Husband: Bodoh gila buat statement macam tu....

-----

Okaylah, mood nak tulis sudah hilang. Kena kemas rumah pulak ni...Tak best nyeeeeeeee!!!

While a person like me should be worried and be mentally prepared for a delivery, my mind is actually somewhere else. Everyday, I pray for my baby to hang on just a little bit more. Mommy needs more time to settle some pretty important stuff!

Hurrah to my baby and I, for reaching 37 weeks today!

Went for a check-up the other day, and the sonographer was asking me, "Eh, dah tahu kan baby boy ke girl?"

I told her, yes, we knew.

Then, she confirmed again that he's gonna be a boy!

So, I told my husband,

Me: Abang, tadi orang tu confirm balik memang baby kita boy...
Husband: Laaa...Apa yang tak confirm nye? Hari tu kan dah nampak konek dia besar gila!

Well, yeah, at first, I did not want to know the baby's gender but it became increasingly difficult to choose cute outfits for the baby. Should we buy pink or more masculine colour? In the end, we succumbed and prayed that the baby can show us some sign.

Then, I happily went shopping for the baby, haha!

Anyway, the day we found out the baby's gender, the sonographer showed us the prove, the large two balls and the sausage. Actually, I don't think they are large, I just think the sonographer simply magnify the image so we could it clearly. But my husband was like, "Whoaa! Besarnya!" in his proud Daddy voice. -__-

So, to continue the conversation,

Me: Abang ni! Konek budak boleh pulak nampak! Masa awal-awal tu, you tak boleh nak visualize pun kepala dia mana, kaki dia mana, jantung dia mana....
Husband: Haha! Dah memang besar...!!! Memang confirm boy!!!

Seriously, dalam banyak banyak anggota badan, yang tu je lah dia boleh kenal.
Why lah men get excited when they know they have passed the big gun genes...

-----

My boss passed comments to me,

Boss: Ectopy! I tengok you ni, dah sarat dah ni! Anytime boleh go into labour.
Me: Janganlah, boss! Banyak benda tak settle lagi ni! I nak deliver in the Klang Valley!
Boss: Bila balik?
Me: Next week...
Boss: Aku rasa tak sempatlah.....

Noooo! Please don't pray stuff like that to me!

I'm scared myself. Been walking here and there, like how they recommend ways to induce your pregnancy. Not good...

I have mixed feelings: excited to see my baby's face and hold him in my arms, scared that the pain might be too unbearable, sad that I'm at the end of the pregnancy that I am gonna miss his kicks and turns in the tummy, worried about the things I need to settle before giving birth....

Hoping for the best!

-----

One of things I need to settle is paying for Zakat.

So, here's a gentle reminder to anybody who's reading my blog:

Don't forget
- Zakat fitrah
- Zakat pendapatan
- Zakat simpanan
- Zakat emas
(Some say zakat saham (for ASB/ ASN) is differerent from zakat simpanan, but that need further clarification. I pun tak pandai...)

Yang lain tu I tak ada....

Oh, and bayar fidyah kalau ada....

Selain tu, to set aside an amount for duit raya....

Anddd...I ordered biskut raya from my staff, so I need to pester them to give to me ASAP!

Anddd....To fulfil barang kiriman orang, "Ectopy! Heard you're coming home, can you get me bla bla bla..."

Even though the matters seem small, I still can't be calm thinking about it! Lepas dah siap semua, baru boleh rasa lega dan bersalin dengan tenang....

-----

You know how it's a trend to keep your cord blood?

Well, I know some famous bloggers have been paid to advertise for it. I don't plan to, but as I was packing stuff to bring back to Mother's house, I came across a pamphlet on DONATING YOUR CORD BLOOD.

Yes, donating your cord blood for other people to use it, other people who are confirmed that they need it, provided they are a match to your stem cells. It's free because it's under the government's programme and because well, you don't store it for your own use.

Have you heard about it?

I've lost the pamphlet, but the service is available in 4 selected government hospitals, Hospital Kuala Lumpur, Hospital Serdang, Hospital Alor Star, and another hospital I can't remember, please blame my pregnancy brain....

I actually e-mailed the National Blood Bank to get further information regarding this matter as I am very much interested about it. To me, I prefer to donate my cord blood for the needy people to use rather than store the cord blood for something I don't even know would occur in the future (and treat it as an insurance).

Unfortunately, until today, I have receive no reply whatsoever from the Blood Bank, soooo.....I am disappointed in you, National Blood Bank! I'm sure if I were to complaint about not receiving any reply, I wouldn't receive a reply either because well, well, well, looks like nobody's checking the e-mail even though the website says: E-mel untuk pertanyaan lanjut.

Soooo....I guess, won't be donating my cord blood for the moment, tanam masuk tanah je lah....

I feel the day is wasted because I am half-paralysed, thanx to the haemorrhoids. Arrghh! It came back, not as bad as before, but I did cry this morning because pedih semacam!

My husband went to the pharmacy and bought some gel medicine, which helps a little bit (a teeny weeny bit je....)

So, basically, I am on my bed, barely able to move.

Me: Abang! Macam mana I nak sembahyang ni! Sakitttt!
Husband: Sembahyang duduk lah...(Half-ignoring me because he's watching TV)

Suka hati dia je suruh I sembahyang duduk kan....

I think I know why I got the haemorrhoids this time aound.

It all began yesterday, when I decided to sweep and mop the floor. Well, only half-done because I was interrupted by the sight of a lizard, then I ran away from the room and didn't dare to enter until husband came home. Then, we decided to go to Tesco to buy some groceries.

After that, ingatkan nak terus pergi Bazaar Ramadhan. Tapi belum apa-apa lagi, husband sudah cakap, "Yang, hari ni nak masak apa?"

Fine, kena fahamlah maksud dia tu....

Ingatkan, bila dah dekat sangat nak full term pregnancy, dapatlah di excused from doing work, especially in the fasting month. Sangkaan ku meleset.....

So, after shopping at Tesco, we came home and I started to wash the chicken. Tahu tak membasuh ayam tu lama dan memenatkan?

Then, performed my Asar, and started to cook. Siap masak lebih lagi sebab malas nak masak untuk sahur.

Yes, my husband expects me to cook for sahur too! Sahur means rice, not breads or anything lighter, mind you....

Duduk makan 20 minit, lepas tu membasuh pinggan dan mengemas dapur pulak.

I used to leave the dishes to my husband, but my husband always delay the chores. He said, "Abang kenyang sangat! Tak boleh gerak! Nak rehat dulu. Nanti abang buat...."

I ni pulak, cannot stand lah to look at the kitchen sink yang penuh tu. So I stopped asking him to do the dishes, I only left things that need to be immersed in the water for a while, macam periuk kuali tu, haaa, takdelah banyak pun, so senanglah my husband to complete the chores later.

Lepas tu ber home terawikh....
(At that time, my husband dah terguling kekenyangan dan kepenatan, sampailah ke pagi! Pandai isteri dia bagi makan sedap)

To tell you the truth, I actually enjoyed the full schedule, it felt like my time was fully utilized. Inilah impian sebenar, ingin menjadi SuperWife/ SuperMom! But I shall suffer from the consequences of standing and doing work for too long, and carrying this weight around.....

Tapi, dalam kesakitan, takdelah I complaint kepada husband, "It's all your fault!" Hehehe...Kesian dia...

Despite the pain, the reward is, my husband masih terkenang-kenangkan my delicious cooking yerterday! Simple je pun...But he regretted that he could not eat them for sahur sebab bangun 10 minutes before Subuh, so kami berdua makan gitu gitu je...I seriously can't remember the alarm went off...

Today, I dah surrender awal-awal. I can't cook. Hish, annoying betul lah haemorrhoids ni! Hopefully it will resolve over the weekend. Takkan nak amik MC semata-mata kot....

Actually, I have planned my chores for today. Sungguh sedih because they need to be put on hold because of my disability. Banyak benda nak buat, tahu tak!

Husband: You nak keluar ke?
Me: Nakkk....
Husband: Tapi you sakit....Macam mana nak jalan?
Me: I tau....Nanti I jalan terkengkang kengkang, nanti orang ingat I dah nak deliver pulak....(Sad face because couldn't go out)

So, my husband left me to find lauk pauk and to bring his nephew to shop for baju raya....

-----

I hope my baby will behave, don't come out now until we arrive in the Klang Valley!
Nanti siapa nak jaga Mommy? Siapa nak teman Mommy bila Daddy berfoya-foya di KL (for his Metallica concert and Barcelona match?) No, no, no, Mommy must berpantang in the Klang Valley!

That's one week away....Yeay! Can't wait to drop everything at work.

-----

My husband's sister and her family sell chickens.

So, we always get our chickens from them. Tak main lah beli dekat Tesco even though they may be cheaper. My husband dengan prinsip: Kita nak tolong keluarga kita.

Okaylah, me no problemo.

Yesterday, masa I tengah basuh basuh ayam tu, I simply put my hand in the plastic bag and keluarkan the pieces. Lepas tuuuuuuuuuuuu, I terpegang kepala ayam!

Secara reflex, I telah menjerit dan lari ke living room.

My husband yang sedang melepak tengok TV, soal, "Kenapa?"

I pun malulah, because I know I telah bersikap mengada-ngada tanpa sengaja.

And as expected, when I told him why I screamed and got a shock, dia pandang sebelah mata je........Cisssssss!!!

I hate it when people do that to me. You know, giving me the look as if I am such a spoilt brat.

Ini pun dah kira cukup bagus sangat because I have really, really toned down from what I used to be, okay! All in the name of memikat hati boyfriend (now husband). Look at what I have sacrificed, I agree to live here, and I tolerate everything else that I am not used to.

Hish....I am not spoilt. Tengok, I bukannya high maintenance pun....I've changed so much and I
have shifted my perceptions on so many things....

Waahh....Tiba-tiba emo ni apehal pulak..........!!!!!

Haha.

Anyway, I think my SIL forgot that I geli lah dengan benda-benda macam ni. That was the first time dia masukkan sekali kepala ayam dalam plastic.

-----

I really, really want to spend a night at the hotel before the delivery.

I dream of soaking in the bath tub to relaxing music and sweet aromatherapy....

Tapi sungguh potong line lah sebab sekarang ni puasa, Hehehe....Nanti masa complimentary breakfast, tak dapat makan lama-lama....

So, I guess, I have to forego the idea at the moment.

I have no problem fasting so far. I am actually glad that I am fasting at the end of my pregnancy. In my case, I am weaker during my early pregnancy. Asyik lapar dan penat je time tu.....

Sekarang ni, okay!

Today, I will talk about the things that happened today.

1- At work, I notice I prefer my male bosses than the female bosses. The female bosses tend to belittle me, while the male bosses are friendlier. One of my bosses, even though I no longer work directly under him, always asks about my well-being.

For example, when I attended a course a few weeks ago, my boss was one of the speakers. When he saw me, he diverted the audiences' attention toward me, using me as an example. Malu lah I, mentang-mentang I tengah pregnant kan...
Then, this morning, he saw me again and was surprised that I was still working. "Bila anak buah saya nak keluar ni?"

Baik kan bos I...I really respect him, because he's always humble and pious.

2- Conversation in the car on the way home from work

Husband: Tadi salesman tu call Abang. Dia Tanya, bila nak beli kereta. Abang kata, nak fikir lagi...
Me: Eh, you ni, janganlah bagi dia harapan palsu! Cakap je lah kita tak jadi nak beli!
Husband: Mana tau Abang nak tukar fikiran ke...
Me: :0 (La, ingatkan we've passed this already. Ikut suka Abanglah, sayang...)

Husband was telling a story about his friend, anak orang kaya.

Husband: Memang kaya bapa dia dulu. Buat kerja bagus. Nasib baik mati awal.
Me: Kenapa nasib baik mati awal pulak?
Husband: Sebab kalau mati lambat, habis semua harta dia simpan! Dia boleh jadi lagi kaya! Kesianlah dekat orang lain...!

Husband: Bapa dia dulu pandai buat business. Cakap pandai...Tapi anak dia tu harapkan harta bapa je...Tak macam bapa dia langsung. Slow sikit.
Me: Dia ikut mak dia kot...Sebab tu orang suruh pilih elok-elok kalau nak kahwin. Nanti anak dapat genetic tak bagus, Hahahaha...!
Husband: Macam Abang pandai pilih isterilah...Bertuah anak Abang dapat genetic bagus. Hahahaha!

3- We were supposed to host a Solat Hajat for the coming of this little precious one. Unfortunately, my MIL broke a bone and she was on cast. We were waiting for the doctor's orders to remove the plaster cast, but that only happened a few days ago.

The intention was postponed until today.

My husband couldn't wait any longer because all the orang alim would be busy welcoming the month of Ramadhan. So, today, he decided to gather a few of the orang alim and his friends at the mosque for a sembahyang hajat for me and the baby. Buat dekat masjid je, senang...

My own family doesn't have this tradition. So, as I wandered online, I came across adat berlenggang. I was nervous at first, I asked my husband, (this was a few months ago)

Me: Abang, perluke buat Solat Hajat ni?
Husband: Kena lah.
Me: Dia baca doa je kan?
Husband: Kenapa?
Me: I tak payah baring kan?
Husband: Baring buat apa?
Me: I baca dekat Internet, ada adat berlenggang. I tak nak buat lenggang perut!
Husband: Apa benda tu?
Me: Ala...Nanti dia ambil kemenyan, ada asap-asap, pastu nanti dia jampi-jampi perut I. I tak nak yang itu!
Husband: Hish, mana ada buat macam tu! You ingat I ni kampong sangat ke? Orang kampong je lah buat macam tu! Kita baca doa selamat je!
Me: Okay! :D

Husband: Solat hajat ni untuk anak pertama je...
Me: Kenapa pulak? Nanti kesianlah dekat anak-anak I yang lain!
Husband: Memang orang buat untuk anak first je...
Me: Mana boleh! Nanti anak I ingat I tak sayang diorang pulak!

4-
Husband: Yang, belikan I tiket Metallica.
Me: You ni kan...Semua nak pergi, Barcelona datang nak pergi, Metallica datang pun nak pergi jugak...You nak pergi dengan siapa? Masa tu I tengah pantang lah...
Husband: Ala, beli je lah....Dua hari je...
Me: You tu dah tua, tau tak....Dah ada anak....
Husband: Ala...Beli je lah....Masa tu bukan you dekat hospital pun....Beli tiket yang paling murah!
Me: You nak pakai baju apa? (Chuckled as I thought the kind of outfit he might be wearing. Oh, sungguh tak sesuai lah si tua ni!)

car

It's the Maybank Treatsfair. As usual, I am not able to participate in the event. Points I banyak gila kot...

Anyway, I cancelled a credit card that I have not used in a while. At first, I was quite scared, I expected to be bombarded with a lot of questions and probably be persuaded not to cancel. I was pleasantly surprised, however, that the process was actually so simple and quick, and yeay, now I have one credit card less!

This is different from the time when an insurance company called to promote a policy. I kan jenis kesian, so when the caller asked whether I have time to hear to what they have to tell me, I would honestly answer "Yes" or "No." One time (many times actually), I said "Yes", so the person on the line went on and on and I showed an obvious no-interest by staying really quiet, the caller had to reassure my existence, "Puan faham?" and I would say, "Hhhmm..." (wasn't really listening because I already know my answer, I just don't have the heart to say No from the very beginning, kasik can ahh...)

Finally, I said No, but this guy was persistent. He sounded very young, so the way he tried to convince me was very immature, "Puan, Puan tak tahu masa akan datang suami Puan macam mana. Ye lah, lelaki ni kan, bukan boleh percaya. Nanti dia nak kahwin lebih, dia suka cari lain. Kalau apa-apa jadi, macam mana dengan Puan dan anak-anak? Puan tahu kan cerita Ida Nerina? Dia kan lumpuh, lepas tu suami dia tinggalkan dia pula. Ida Nerina tu tak ada insurans."

Jadi gossip artist lah pulak...

"Kenapa Puan taknak? Saya akan terangkan sekali lagi bla bla bla, jadi boleh saya dapat nombor kad kredit Puan?"

Me: Saya tak berminat.
Insurance agent: Kenapa Puan? Bukan mahal sangat pun.
Me: Saya tak berminat.
Insurance agent: Bukan rugi pun kalau Puan ambil policy ni.
Me: Saya tak berminat.

Banyak kali I kena jawab, "Saya tak berminat."

Tu yang I jadi trauma if I need to settle things regarding banks, credit cards, anything, via phone...

I don't understand why I've been offered so many credit cards. They don't exactly earn anything from it because I always pay on time, so, no interest whatsoever is ever charged. In the end, I only use one because I passed the others to my family members for emergency use.

Actually, today I want to talk about  how I like it that my husband and I are partners, that we can really sit down and discuss about things and decide as a team.

My husband has been wanting to get a new car. He already set his eyes on one luxury car. But one day, he came across another luxury car of a different brand which is relatively cheap (RM30k less from the original price).

He called me at work, shared his interest, and after work, he brought me to see the car.

I am a woman, I don't care much about cars. But what attracted me was, when the salesman saw my belly, and at the same time, there was a car seat on display priced at RM4000, he said he could throw the car seat as a free gift if we decided to purchase the car.

Pandai dia nak menarik hati perempuan mengandung ni. Konon-konon macam it's meant to be lah. Car seat apa lah sampai RM4000 kan...!!!

Then, we went home and my husband talked about the car every single night. So, I pun macam paham-paham sendiri lah that my husband is serious about it, tunggu I punya greenlight je because it was supposed to be registered under my name.

I pun tak sampai hati tengok my husband kempunan hari-hari cakap pasal kereta. I really don't mind he's getting it as long as he could afford it. So, one fine day, I told him, if you really want the car, tell me the necessary documents I need to give.

Bila dah settle dah semua documents, he asked me, "Okay ke, Sayang? Betul ke ni?"

I kan tak suka orang-orang yang fickle minded ni, so I pun hampir melenting lah

Me: I ingatkan you dah fikir habis-habis! Ini pun nak suruh I fikir ke?
Husband: Memang murah kan...
Me: Abang, kalau tak confident, tak payah beli.
Husband: Ala, kalau tak suka, boleh jual balik.
Me: Memang lah boleh jual balik, tapi rugilah.

Me: Abang nak beli sebab apa?
Husband: Saje je...
Me: Kalau saja je, tak payah beli. Jawapan tak convincing langsung. Apa-apa yang kita buat, kena ada faedah. So, do you think this car is beneficial for your work? Do you really need the car? Why do you this car? Is it suitable for us?

And so we discussed.
I think my husband just needed his wife to lay things out for him. Even though dalam hati memang nak, but he knows his level-headed wife can make things clearer for him. Mungkin sebab tu hari-hari dia cakap pasal kereta sambil tunggu respond I macam mana. (Mula-mula I tak respond because I tak nak masuk campur hal duit dia...Now I know that he actually wants his wife to be involved.)

Finally, we admitted to each other,
Husband: Actually, Abang lagi suka kereta lagi satu tu...Cuma kereta tengah ada promotion je...
Me: Actually, I suka car seat free tu je...

Haha!

So, sorry Mr. Salesman, there might be no commission for you before Hari Raya from us. Belum rezeki lah...But you are a good salesman, I wish you all the best.

I went to bed thinking whether we have made the right decision.

This morning, I heard about Egypt and their rejected Al-Tahfiz leader. I don't really know the facts on their internal affairs, but I know that a Tahfiz and a professional leader must be a great one. I mean, where can you find such leaders now, it's soooo rare like a diamond! Tapi senang-senang je kena guling kan...

I pun macam tersedar, orang lain sibuk pasal isu-isu kenegaraan, I ni sibuk nak beli kereta. So petty...Perhaps, the money is better used for other causes. There's nothing wrong with our current car, nafsu dan duniawi je semua ni...

I really feel like an adult now, discussing over serious matters...Haha!

baby stuff

My husband is sleeping next to me. He arrived from KL at 6.30pm. He lied that he'd be arriving later. I was sweeping the floor when I heard him creeping up at the door. When he entered, I casually said Hi and ruined his surprise.

I told him about my appointment with the Obstetric doctor this morning. I went alone and found out that I lost 500g within 2 weeks. I was surprised, didn't know what I did wrong. I eat as usual, and for the matter of fact, I'm having less workloads compared to the previous months. My haemoglobin reading is also dropping.

So, for dinner, my husband brought me to a restaurant and shoved a lot of food into my mouth. At my current condition, it is more advisable to eat small portions but more frequent. But, since my husband sangat bersemangat nak suruh I makan ini dan itu, I pun senyap dan senyum je lah. At least he is making an effort to fatten me up for baby's sake!

The energy source is a mystery. I slept at 3am last night. Didn't eat properly (sebab husband outstation.). Lepas tu puasa lagi. Went to work. Balik kerja menyapu rumah. Now, still not sleepy yet...





I've been admiring my baby's playpen which strategically is situated next to our bed. Sekarang kan cepat mengah. So lepas ambil wudhu, kena duduk kejap atas katil. Sambil sambil tu berangan that my baby will be sleeping in the playpen soon. Bestnyeeeeee!!! Dah siap dengan bantal and comforter set dia.

I am most proud with the playpen because it only cost RM145, OMG, nothing can beat that price, siap dengan mosquito net lagi. In fact, I almost refused to buy a separate bed for our son sebab tak mahu membazir. Rezeki sungguhlah jumpa yang murah, kalau tak baby kena penyek tidur tengah tengah katil...But the 3-piece bedding set for him is more expensive than the standard price la. This is because I chose the quality that comes with the price, lagipun kalau tak sale, it would be much more expensive. Last-last, cheap playpen plus expensive bedding set (walaupun harga sale) plus Fisher Price Rocker (RM190- dekat Jusco/ Parkson sampai RM300+ , apa ke jadah!): Total lebih kurang dengan standard je...

More or less the same reason why I don't think I will buy a nursing pillow. Sebab, my baby carrier sudah mahal, and it promises that I can breastfeed my baby with it. So, hopefully, baby will like to be carried in it and I will make sure to make full use out of it.

I plan to deliver in Klang Valley, anywhere near to Mother's house. Logically, tak perlulah I susun the perabot siap siap because we'll end up bringing whatever portable things we can to Mother's house. Tapi, excited punya pasal...Hahaha...Siap cuci the baju and pillow cases with baby safe detergent lagi.

Sterilizing je tak buat lagi because I want to fully breastfeed my baby. Lagipun, I haven't bought a sterilizer. After research, I think I will only buy the reusable sterilizer bag. Sterilize things properly until 3 months of age. Lepas tu, hantar pegi nursery. Orang nursery buat ke kerja kerja sterilizing ni? I don't know, but my colleague said they don't. Ala, pakai boiled water sudah, invest in a thermos lah...(Planning to use up the credit card points so I can get the thermos for free instead).





Since I don't have many girl friends (well, I only have two, each in different states) and I have more guy friends, I don't think anybody will throw me a baby shower. Not that I expect one. I really don't mind, really really. One of my guy friends have volunteered to be my personal shopper, to go through the hassle of the Baby Fair which will be held in MidValley this coming mid-July. To tell you the truth, I appreciate that more...Haha...

You know lah, I don't like this place because it's so far from the places I am familiar with. Lagi-lagi tengah pregnant ni, bukan senang senang I can hop onto the plane or senang-senang drive long distance. I feel that I am missing so much...

So, to have someone who is willing to shop for me, that's pretty cool! Tapi tak tau lah how it will turn out to be, sudahlah bachelor kan, reti ke...? Agak-agak culture shock nanti tengok the crazy parents at the expo.





Lets hope I will have other things to share rather than babies after this. Bye!