Sunday, January 31, 2010

"Ectopy, I've been meaning to ask you this for a quite some time. Are you, by any chance, a ballet dancer?"


"Have you ever?"

"No. I wish my mother had enrolled me to the ballet school though."

"Oh. I thought you were because of the way of you walk. It's kinda...Not the usual way I would see it."

I smiled. "I know. I get that often. People say I walk as if I'm on the moon."

She nodded her head and smiled.

"But I dance. I used to dance. I mean, I used to represent my school and I really like to dance," I said. I was trying to approve her theory. Maybe I do walk funny because I dance.

That was a pleasant few minutes of conversation. It would have been nicer if she thought I was a ballerina because of my posture. Haha. I have a bad posture. I like to watch people in the mall, and I would judge them. Those with the best postures, I'd assume, are the dancers and the models.

But I haven't danced in a very, very long time...

A few weeks ago, I spent the weekend with my boyfriend. We were in Gardens when it suddenly rained.

I like the rain. Because when it's raining, it's a blessing. When it's raining, we should make a prayer because one of the best times that our prayer would be heard by God is when it rains.

My boyfriend said, "Kesian orang yang naik motor. Nanti basah diorang."

That was random. We were not even in a car. We were just wondering aimlessly in the mall.

I smiled. I smiled and enjoyed the rain.

I smiled and remembered why I like him in the first place.

I like the way he's so compassionate and he thinks about the others before himself. I like that. Mempunyai sifat ihsan and belas kasihan. Like me. Only that he is better than me in this department.

So, I have this colleague at work, who is single and kind and handsome and everybody seems to fall in love with him. We clicked straight away since the first time I worked with him. I've brought him to meet my boyfriend and family. He reminds me of my other friend, whom I am very close with.

At work, we distant ourselves. People know that I am 'booked'. However, some thought he was my 'booker'.

One day, I was in the pantry when this girl came and said something about how she didn't know I sudah dirisik and she thought I was with *Ghazali.

(Haha, why lah did I choose Ghazali to be the pseudonym! Seriously, tak creative langsung)

So, I took this opportunity to ask her,
"Kenapa akak ingat saya dengan *Ghazali? Saya bukannya selalu bercakap dengan dia. Jarang sangat."

It's true. We try to avoid being overfriendly at work because there's nothing between us. We meet once in a while, but we don't go searching for each other. Sometimes, we work together but that's it, nothing extraordinary.

"Tak adalah...Ghazali yang bagitau saya yang Ectopy nak kahwin dah..." she answered.

"Carikanlah somebody untuk Ghazali. Dia masih single," said I.

"Ghazali tu handsome. Baik hati pula tu. Takkan takde sesiapa?"

Aha! I knew it. She was just saying things to me so he can find out more about Ghazali!

"Entah dia. Dia sedang mencari tu..." I told her.

"Mungkin dia jenis pemilih kot..." she concluded.

Cis, ada hati dekat Ghazali rupanya.

And this is why I dislike to be put in the same team as Ghazali. Too many people like him and they tend to overlook my capabilities.

This is quite complicated because Ghazali is quite eager to work with me since we are friends and kononnya 'It-would-be-fun'.

For him, it's fun lah. For me, people treat me as a threat and they often say or do things that hurt me, not in front of Ghazali, but shamelessly in front of me!

For example, they always call for Ghazali if anything happens as if I'm not capable of solving the situations. I am not useless!

Many of colleagues get excited if they are due to work with Ghazali because Ghazali always comes to the rescue. But I don't like that. I like to be the one who rescues! And since Ghazali is a kind chap, he always helps me out without me asking and it looks like he's doing all the work (including mine)!

And I feel bad about hating him whenever I work with him. He is a nice friend but I really think working with him does not bring any good to me. Am I am selfish and ungrateful?

Urgh. This is what we call, a blessing in disguise. Ghazali is the blessing in disguise whenever I need to work with him.

Sunday, January 10, 2010


Now I only have one grandparent who is still alive. It's scary. It means that my parents will soon leave too, and I'm not getting any younger.

It's scary that my grandparents were 63 once, and I, as a child thought, 'Wow, tuanya!' but now, my parents are at that age.

The first time I realized about this was a few years ago when I worked with the elderly. "How old are you?" I asked. I always had the feeling: Wow, you are not very much older/ younger than my parents.

We are all aging. Can we stop the time now?

I invited my friends/ colleagues for a paintball session. They were keen to join and one of them talked about how he was going to shoot me.

"I'm gonna aim at your butt. But your butt is small, so it's gonna be challenging," he and my other colleague laughed away.

I always thought I had a nice bum, so, I said, "What! I have a small bum? Damn!"

"No, correction, it's micro," they broke into laughters again.

Okay, so now it's time to pump it up!

I think, nowadays, I mostly spend time with my friends playing games. I remember when I was younger, we used to eat and watch movies a lot. Seriously, melepak.

Perhaps, it's because of our stressful lives handling our careers, we'd rather go for something wild, as a way to release it. Or maybe, simply because we have tried eating at every hip restaurant they are in the Klang Valley. Plus the fact that parking spots are so difficult to get nowadays, it drives me nuts!
In a way, it is kinda sad that we don't have a favourite hang-outs, somewhere that we can call 'the usual'. It's okay, since our gang members stay in every part of Klang Valley, so changing our meeting place everytime seems fair.

And we always welcome new people into our lives, we all can freely bring our own friends and that's how our network gets bigger.

And when there are more brains in the group, that's how we come up with games, a weekend getaway, fishing trips, paintball, workshops, theatres, orchestras and such.

I upload the pictures of these events to Facebook and I have people asking which one is my boyfriend.

The thing is, my boyfriend only pops out once in a while.

Sometimes, I think it's not fair for him since I'm really close to the other guys in my group. But he should understand that without these good friends in my life, I may not go as far as I got. Each and every one of them contribute something in my life and I appreciate that.

And to make sure he's always there with me, my boyfriend forces me to wear my ring all the time which I gladly do even without him asking me to.

When people don't know start to tease that I'm going out with such and such, my friends and I always pretend to go along with it for 5-10 minutes until my friends tell that I'm booked and all I have to do is raise my hand and show the bling.

I love it. I love my friends. I love my boyfriend. And currently, I love my life.

Again, can we stop the time now? I am currently so contented, I don't want things to change.

I hope, all of us will age together and our relationships will develop into something even more beautiful, 20-30 years down the line.