Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My grandmother passed away. Al-Fatihah.

Father and Mother were supposed to be on their way balik kampung, but they postponed it to a day later since Mother was not feeling well and she didn't want to spread the infection to my grandma.

That night, Mother barged into my room and told me that her mama had gone.

I didn't know what to do.

I wasn't very close to my grandma. In fact, I am not very close to any of my family members.

I took the news really well.

She left my room and I continued whatever thing I was doing. In the end, I went to see her while she was packing.

"Macam mana boleh meninggal dunia?" I asked. As far as I knew, grandma didn't have any chronic disease, except the fact that she was just old.

"Masa tu ramai ada sebab nak pergi wedding. Dia cakap sakit. Lepas tu dia duduk, tak bangun-bangun," Mother said calmly.

"Siapa yang cakap dia meninggal? Tak panggil doktor ke? Mana tahu, entah-entah pengsan je ke..." said I, thoughtfully.

Suddenly, my Mother laughed. "Tak tahulah diorang tu!"

I didn't get why Mother and my sister started to laugh. This was serious matter! "Mana tahu, sebenarnya dia tengah coma ke...Mana boleh senang-senang je declare orang mati! Doktor pun tak boleh senang-senang declare orang mati tau."

"Ala...Siti* kan doktor...Dia tahu lah kot..." Siti* is my cousin who lives in the same hometown as my grandma.

I'm not joking weih! I wouldn't want to declare someone's dead unless I am qualified to!

Anyhow, I've spent a lot of time with my friends. I've always noticed that I go along better with the guys and the girls. The other day, I was even the only rose among five thorns (haha!) and we played three kinds of sports in one day.

It was really good. I enjoyed myself.

My colleague found out about this and I jokingly said that this was the time to enjoy my singlehood.
He said if he were my boyfriend, he would be unfortunate to get a girl like me.

So, I told my boyfriend about what my colleague thought.

Then, my boyfriend said, "I'd be jealous too. But the only reason I let you go is because I know all of your friends."

I feel blessed. To have an understanding boyfriend, to have great friends, and also to have a boyfriend who knows most of my friends and let me have my time with my friends even though my boyfriend himself rarely spends his time with me.

Haih. I love all of them. :)

Friday, December 11, 2009


Wah. It's so nice of you guys to congratulate to me. Thank you, thank you, you guys are too cute. Congratulations to you too, for whatever thing you have achieved so far!

Sorry lah I rarely reply your comments. You know my problems, the Internet + the PC suck.

I eat so much nowadays.

Since McD launched Prosperity Burger, I have eaten nothing but Prosperity Burger everytime I have the chance to order from McDonalds. Tambah dengan McFlurry lagi, nak bubur lah, nak apple pie lah, I always end up having to pay the most among my friends.

Do you guys remember the McD advertisement, probably some 20 years or so ago: the McD clown mascott with his red shoes, singing the alphabets: Mc D O N A L D S, Mc D O N A L D S! I love it. I sing it to my nieces sometimes.

"You ni, makan banyaklah!" my colleague whom recently joined the department said as I munched away my french fries.

Colleague. Work. Work.

When I first started working, I was so enthusiastic, I gave my best in everything I did.

I made sure I came to work on time (I still do this) because I didn't want to 'makan gaji buta'. It's not so much about principle, but I am scared to gain 'rezeki yang haram'. Lets face it, I am not the most pious person, heck, I don't even wear a tudung, the least I can do is to care about these little and simple things that are within my capabilities of doing.

I'm not saying that I've never come late to work, I do, but I'd get all guilty and work overtime so the money that the organization pays me, is worth my work.

People at work often ask me, "Why?" Why do I come to work early. Why do I go home late. Why I never go for lunch unless I make sure everything has been done. Why don't I go take a nap. Why do I help my colleague even though obviously I've done more than him/ her. Why this and why that. I always end up smiling. I mean, can I tell them my actual reasons behind doing all these? I am no ustazah, I don't want to suddenly stun them with my personal views.

Kiranya, what I believe is macam, what you give, you get back la...

However, sometimes, I do get the feelings that the efforts that I put into my work is not appreciated and I don't get the respects that I think I deserve.

Whenever I have these thoughts in my mind, I quickly reflect the purpose I choose this industry. I choose it not for the money, not for the respect nor for the appreciation. So, why bother if someone treats me like crap and the money I get is shit?

There are two ways I look at it.

If my staff misbehave, I keep quiet, I think, "Patutlah kau ni kerja takat ni je...Buruk akhlak. Kurang ajar. Macam mana nak maju?"

If my bosses misbehave, I keep quiet, I think, "Belajar pandai-pandai pun tak guna. Buruk akhlak. Kurang ajar. Cleaner pun perangai lagi bagus dari kau. Buat malu je."

And I don't believe in instilling fear to get your workers becoming more productive. Someone should be approachable to generate interests. Nak marah pun agak-agaklah, kena ada adab. How disgraceful to point out your negative points in front of the clients. Not only it's unprofessional, kalau I jadi client pun, I tak jadi nak dealing dengan these kinds of people. Tak constructive langsung.

I first join this organization believing I wouldn't become one of the commoners. I still keep my mind judgemental-free and I vow to treat everyone the same. I don't care if you are VIP, if you know Datuk so-and-so, you still get in the line like everybody else, you get to cut the line like everybody else if ONLY there's an urgency! I don't care if you whine a lot, that doesn't necessarily mean it's an urgency. On the other hand, who am I to conclude whether you fake it or not, you are still entitled of my full attention and service, just be patient and wait for your turn.

One thing for sure, I don't care whether you to treat me like crap, and if you call me an idiot, I agree with you because I am still learning but trust me, you are still more idiotic than I am. Haha in your face.

Sometimes, I go home feeling all depressed. Everyday is almost similar, but on some of the days, I couldn't take it and I sob. I think it's the accumulation of the many days and so I have this episodes of lachrymology.

My boyfriend is very understanding and he helps a lot in order to make me feel better. He recites his wise words, he shares his own experiences and he even seeks his friends' opinions who work closely in this field.

The sad thing is, I have been advised, for so many times, that I shouldn't trust anyone.

Ah, yes, and how many new friends have I made since I've started working? Two, at most. The rest remains colleagues.

It's me. I work too hard that I don't have the time to get to know them better.

Because of this fear of makan gaji buta, I even feel guilty if I take personal calls during working hours and I never use the Internet for personal use. I do personal things if only I have time spared after I've done my work, which is very rare. And because of this, I have less bonding sessions with my colleagues, hence the less friends I make.

Kesimpulan dari semua ini? Takde.

Nak meluahkan je...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


I kept the event low-key. Only a few close friends know about it. And you, the readers.

It's not that I purposely want to hide my status. But I feel things can go wrong anytime, and I don't want to suffer from the consequences. You know what they say, suka suka jadi duka. That's why I don't want to be overexcited about it.

However, an observant boss saw my new bling on my finger.

"Are you engaged?" he asked, in front of my other colleagues.

Later, I found out from my colleague that it was so obvious that I was contemplating to say Yes or No because I took a long time to decide.


My answer was positive. "Just yesterday," I told him.

My boss congratulated me.

Is my boyfriend now my fiance? We are not engaged, you know. We decide to skip the engagement ceremony to save cost.

Guess what?

My parents asked for two rings.

"I ingatkan kalau tak tunang boleh save duit! Tengok-tengok parents you minta dua cincin!" he whined.

I'm happy that I'll get two!

My boyfriend is now my future husband. =)