Sunday, June 20, 2021
Thursday, June 17, 2021
Saturday, June 12, 2021
Saturday, May 29, 2021
Thursday, May 20, 2021
Hi guys...I'm backkkkk
Does this mean, I'm depressed now?
Remember when I told it got significantly less busy after I transferred here?
Oh, well, oh, well...Spoke too soon...
It's a different kind of busy now.
Previously, I needed to be on site on certain days...Versus now, my body will be at home after office hours, but I still work, on daily basis! I've so many messages to reply to, to read and digest on, plus other tasks etc...The hardest part? It looks easy but, really, I am busy as you are!
Nevertheless, I am still grateful.
I am older now, hopefully wiser. If someone hurts me, just smileeee...
Why are you smiling?
Because this is an opportunity to collect and gather good deeds, that's all that matters now. Lagipun, doa orang teraniaya kan dimakbulkan...I wouldn't waste my doa for that person, of course.
I am disliking France more and more. First, the ban of hijab. Then, the support to Israel. They even ban the pro-Palestinian rallies. What is this hate to Islam!
Tak sedar diri ke orang-orang yang beli brand mahal-mahal tu banyak orang Arab kaya!
Tapi, Muslims who are just as obsessed about the luxury brands pun, sama bodoh jugak...
So, goodbye Chanel, LV, Dior, etc...
Okay, writing about boring stuff makes a good sleeping pill. Good night.
Thursday, March 4, 2021
Someone influential at my office sees something in me and he said- You should be next in line. You have the potential.
It is probably one of the biggest compliments I have received in my life, so much that it boosts my confidence and self-esteem, I feel like I really belong here and this is a part of God's grand plan for me...
Not to get ahead of myself, but...
- that influential person is actually retiring this year...So, his opinion will not matter in years to come even if I've left a good impression on him
- looks like my boss is not going anywhere soon. So, for me to step up in her shoes, it's probably in 10-15 more years...?
- there are 2 more senior people that are quite deserving too
Anyway...Writing here to remind myself I'm still great in this.
Saturday, January 30, 2021
Cried multiple times today, definitely more than 10 times, over a child that I don't even know of.
I knew about the viral video when he got separated from his adopted family, but I never watched the video, I didn't read the case, because I didn't want to be bias. She is afterall, her birth mother. Surely, she meant well.
Besar dah umur 7 tahun tu. Macam mana boleh mati? What kind of force did you use on him! Sedihnya berkali-kali...Sakitnya dia...
I even tried to take an afternoon nap, but I became wide awake again, because my mind was starting to dream about his story, how he was crying during the abuse. Ugh. Mainan syaitan betul.
My kids saw me crying. I kept telling them about this kid who was murdered. My son rubbed my back to calm me down. When they saw the news on TV, my daughter informed me, "Mommy, ni budak tu..."
After dinner, my daughter asked me- Mommy, are you happy?
She usually does this to ensure that I am no longer upset. Which means, she is well aware of how miserable I was this whole day...
Kalau I orang yang tak ada kena mengena ni rasa macam ni, bayangkan his family rasa macam mana...
Guys. If you are not equipped to have kids, please don't have them. Use protections! Let them be with better families. Don't have them if you are not ready. If you are not ready financially ke, emotionally ke, mentally ke, physically ke- just don't have them if you are not ready for the responsibility!
I don't want to hear the excuse- you are mentally unstable lah, apa lah...Eh, kalau dah mentally unstable tu, lagilah jangan! It's no surprise you are actually a crazy maniac, because obviously, no sane person would do something like this, kecuali kalau dah memang setan.
Sort your life first. Make sure you get help. Follow your doctor's advice. Take your medicine. Get stable. Don't skip your appointments. Just don't harm anybody, especially kids.
I am not a psychiatrist and in no way I want to disrespect people with mental issues, but please. This is why you should get help and how important mental health is. It's real, guys. So real.