Friday, March 16, 2018

Actually, I am writing this to tell you that...
I am no longer a facial spa virgin! Yeay!

So, after work, my friend sort of forced me to follow her...

I never really asked her about her facial treatment, except that I told her I never had one, and she got married recently, so she is all into this beauty thing...

What I learned/ not learned

- I don't know why we need to strip down when the beautician only concentrates on the face, neck and shoulder areas

- I got really bad review about my skin. Luckily, I am older now, so no hard feelings

- I finally found out the type of skin I have! Dry skin!

- sakit lah time dia picit picit tu! But so good...Because you don't have to do it yourself. It can be quite tiring, especially if you have skin like mine.
And my face didn't turn red. How did she do it!

- I like the eye massage because I instantly could see the difference

- my friend excitedly told me that the beautician can do my eyebrows too. I'm like, "No, it's fine, maybe next time..."
And she said, "Okay, I trim saja lorh..."

Me- frozen.
The first time anybody touched my eyebrows was on the day I got married. I didn't know how to say No at that time. I pray God wil forgive me and promised I won't do it again.
Then, yesterday, somebody trimmed my eyebrows

- now I understand why some celebrities become prettier and fairer, and why some look so timeless...
The amount of time and money they spend to maintain the youthful looks...


So, would I do it again? Yes. But maybe at a different place. Just because of the eyebrow incident. Perhaps I should try the normal Muslim facial spa next.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

I was upset for the past few days. Actually, I still am sad about it because whenever I think about it, I cry or almost cry.

Basically, *Aliah told me about what *Betty and *Celine think about me. They are not good opinions. Betty and Celine have never even met me in person and they already have bad impressions on me.

So, Betty called Aliah, probably about other matters, but she mentioned me, so I guess they must have been talking a great length about me, exchanging views and digging my history that I don't want people to know. I'm sure they all know now.

Aliah herself, is not a great person to be close with. Sometimes, she's nice, or acting nice, you just don't know. We just have to be careful.

Anyway, now that I'm upset, I keep thinking- why are some people so mean?

As I'm trying to analyse this, I asked myself not to jump into conclusions. Perhaps it's a small matter, but I'm just being extra anxious.

Is Aliah mean?
Is Betty mean?
Is Celine mean?
I don't know.

Then, who's fault is it? Is it my fault?

Do they even know how hurtful it is to me? I am a 30 plus year old lady, with 2 kids, and I still cry about work (or it's the PMS).

This is pathetic.


Because of this episode, I want to remind myself and my children that God is fair.

I truly believe He is fair, that He makes everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses.

Aliah may be successful, but she has problems in her marriage.
Betty may think she's smart, but she's unmarried and doesn't have children (it may be her own choice, but whatever, let me have my moment, okay?)
Celine- well, I don't know much about her, but maybe, a lot of people don't like her too? Who knows. Yang penting, she's not perfect either.

So, the lesson here is- Stay humble.

Do not think you are above anyone else.

Have I seen an almost perfect person? Sure, I have. But they do not offend me, so, I'm happy for them, maybe they really deserve all that blessings.

But hey, to those who think I am stupid and cannot do my job properly-
At least I am happy at home.

If all my efforts go unappreciated, it's okay, because I do it with ikhlas.


I also realized I'm not really good in expressing myself other than to write about it.

I told my friend that I was upset and she asked me out, but I just can't bring myself to tell her what exactly happened.

I cried in the loo, washed my face, had lunch and talked about everything else, as if I was unaffected, as if I was joking about it.

I really need to get professional help. Am I depressed? Am I bipolar? Do I need to quit my job? Maybe I should migrate.

Sigh. I just want to have a stress free life.

Monday, January 22, 2018

In the 90s, I was a kid and a teenager.
Boy, it was a great time. Especially when I was in secondary school.
I kearned a lot, discovered a lot of things, went out with my friends almost monthly to Sunway Pyramid (we were just 14 and our parents let us! How cool was that!)...
Also, we laughed a lot. I remember always looking forward to school so I could meet my friends and gossip. And we continued talking at home via the landline.
I began to listen to music and memorising the lyrics. Those days, you could just listen properly and it will stuck with you forever- I know because I can still sing along to the music, even now :)

Whenever I listen or watch certain music/ videos from that era, I always, always feel very nostalgic. I would smile, not because I can remember all the details of my life back then, but because I could remember how I felt- pure happiness.

No heartbreaks, no struggles, very minimal obstacles...Life was awesome!

Then, college and university...This was the time when I watched a lot of movies. I frequented the cinemas because...I didn't really go clubbing or bars...So, the cinema was the entertainment I could afford.

I watched all kinds of movies. I even went alone sometimes, early in the morning.
I realized I didn't mind doing things alone.

Now, I haven't set a foot in the cinema for many, many years, it's pathetic.

No lah, it's not really pathetic. I have a gorgeous family, what more can I ask for.
I pray my children would have awesome memories too growing up.
Please include me in your good memories. Be good to me. Love me like I love you both now and forever...

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Dida told me about our friend, Yana, who said, "My life would have been perfect if I had a child."
She does have everything else except that.

Dida told her off. "You should be grateful!"

Dida's sister had a son, the only child. He was 9 years old when the parents brought him to Indonesia. It has been a yearly ritual, to bring him overseas, and return on his birthday's eve, so he could celebrate his birthdays with his other family members.

During the trip, he got sick. When he arrived, he was so weak, he couldn't walk. They rushed him to a hospital. (They went to a GP in Indonesia, and was given anti diarrhoea)

Dida was at the hospital too. He said, "Auntie Dida, you are here."

Dida saw him fitting on the hospital bed. Dida and the child's parents witnessed the CPR.

He passed away on his 9th birthday.
His last words were, "I'll be okay."


Dida's sister had a maid. She was nice, but she made a mistake. She ran away and got pregnant. She returned, asking Dida's sister to adopt the child.

Since the boy had no siblings, he begged his parents for a brother. They agreed.

2 weeks after Dida's nephew died, the maid ran away again as she couldn't bear living in a house without him (she loved the boy like her own). 

The baby was about 2 months old.
Now, the baby is 2 years old.


But life is not perfect.
My life would have been relatively perfect too, if I had that one thing that I really want, but I don't know whether I will ever get.

However, I'm happy that I have a comfortable life.

I respect people who survived tragedies.
They must have been special to go through it.

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Both children are already asleep and I am excited to update this pathetic blog.
But, what shall I write about?

Do I write about my husband's tantrums/ mid-life crisis?
Someone pressed a police report against him because they got into a physical fight and he whacked him first, and he didn't tell me until a few days later!
OMG, so drama. I just told him that he really shouldn't be involved in fights because umur dah 40 lebih, puh-lease!!!

Because of that, it reminded me the time when he told me that he slapped a Tesco worker because the trolley carts hit my son. According to him, what made him really angry was, my son was just standing there, he wasn't running around or anything, when the trolley carts (yes, trolley carts in a long line) hit my son and he bled, but the worker didn't even say sorry.

I guess it was so scary, my son terus tak jadi menangis when he saw my angry husband.

I advised my husband to have more patience, but in my husband's defense, he said that man hurt our son. I couldn't say anything more.

Oh, my...Even though I wasn't there during both occurence, I still feel embarassed. I can't believe I married someone who has this kind of temper.
I mean, I didn't even know he can be like that! I know him as a chill guy, very loving and gentle...

And that's why I'm telling you, he's going through a mid-life crisis. What else can explain it?

Friday, December 8, 2017

I want a big family, but my husband doesn't.


Me: Ya, pakcik, ada apa?
Pakcik: Pakcik nak minta tolong awak tulis surat, sebab pakcik nak ubat ini.
Me: Pakcik tak boleh beli sendiri?
Pakcik: Mahal ubat ni. Pakcik tak mampu. Dah 2 kali pakcik beli. Harga RM212.
Me: Okay. Pakcik ada anak?
Pakcik ada 3 orang anak. Dulu pakcik merancang. Sekarang pakcik menyesal, tak ramai anak boleh tolong. Dulu, ingatkan anak 3 orang, pakcik didik elok-elok. Semua belajar tinggi, kerja bagus, tapi tak bercakap.


Ya Allah, I pray my children will forever be close and take care of each other.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Sometimes, I am in a love-hate relationship with myself.

Like...I miss the old me, I was young, vibrant, couldn't care less about what people think of me (you wanna hate me? You're welcomed, I hate you too)...
I was confident, had lots of friends, I thought I could do anything I wanted, fearless and I prayed more.
I was happy and definitely laughed more. I pushed myself and was always trying to win the race.

But, I also like the way I am now, wiser, calmer, still couldn't care less about what people think of me (but in a living-in-my-own-sweet-world sort of way).
I am no longer confident, but I am careful, I am comfortable being alone, I fear many things now (like death, my children's safety, if my husband is faithful, whether or not my eternity will be in heaven), maybe I don't pray as much as before, but now I do it whole-heartedly, I am slowly trying to understand what I recite, and I try to do it correctly.
I am now more grateful and more content with myself. I can no longer keep with the race and I am not that threatening contestant anymore.

So, yeah, stories of my life...
I guess it's a sign of maturity?

Anyway, since I am more mature now, I realized I have quite a number of jeans. It would be silly if I buy more jeans...

So, I spent my weekend making DIY boyfriend jeans and fringed jeans. Yeay! I feel trendy now. Haha!

Also...I don't whether I should be mad...

I bought this...

 But I found this...

Like, what the hell...
I felt cheated. Because obviously, the price was more for the design and the brand instead of the quality of the material used.
Luckily, I bought it at almost 50% off.
But still, I thought I was snatching a bargain!
Not so much of a bargain now...
Pakai pergi kerja?

Saturday, September 16, 2017

I was reminded by Allah, how precious this life is, how soon death is, and how unexpected things are. Indeed, He is the Master plan of all.

I couldn't contain my sadness when hearing a grieving husband cry. This macho man, who couldn't care any less that he was wailing like a baby, "Yang, bangun, yang! Yang, bangunlah! Anak kita kecil lagi. Yang, bangun!"

I saw the baby, not even two months old, now motherless. So innocent, calm and pure. Oh, child, your mother left too soon, going to a better place, I'm sure.

Sudden death is the hardest. Because you are not prepared for it. You couldn't say your goodbye.

As I felt sad, sympathy and thought how cruel this world can be, I took a moment and told myself...You know what, I should also envy this woman.
This woman passed on a Friday morning, during her confinement period. Her sins must be so minimal to be the chosen one. Such a special lady, I wish I knew what was her amalan.

I wonder how my ending would be like. It's scary, not because life is temporary, but because I am not sure if I belong in paradise. Bilalah nak insaf dan berubah...

The image of what I saw today will haunt me for a few weeks at least. This is sad.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

I rarely check on comments, especially if it's being left recently on my previous, previous posts. So sorry if I didn't reply earlier.

Someone asked whether I did get Puj Flyte for my baby. Yes, I did. I ordered it through Lazada. The best part was...I ordered for Puj Flyte, because it's cheaper, about RM186, but I received the Puj Tub instead.

I loved it. So much. Used it every day, at least 4 times per day, until my baby became too big for the sink. 4 times per day because my niece, who is a week younger than my daughter, used it as well.

Money well spent because we really used it. My brother offered to replace it but I told them that it isn't meant to be long lasting. Guna sampai lunyai je.

Everybody loved it, especially Mother, because she didn't have to bend her back. Since we were using the sink at the dining area, and the sink is next to the window garden, my maid always joked that my baby had spa instead, sambil mandi, sambil tengok pokok-pokok...

My aunt saw how convenient it was. By the time her granddaughter was born, she borrowed it from me too.

Now, that Puj dah buruk...Expected lah for something that is made from foam. Good quality foam though. Puas hati sebab it really serves its purpose. I say, buy it. For new mothers, ditch the bathtub altogether. Tak kuasa lah nak squat down...Space consuming pulak tu.


While I'm at it, I also want to talk about other great baby items I got for my baby, more prepared compared to my first experience.

I also bought Zen Swaddle by Nested Bean. Also recommended. I think my baby slept better with it.

I was initially drawn to the product because it promised better sleeping hours for the mother. Haha. My sleep is precious, okay.

I think it did a great job. Just that I think the cloth is a little too thick for Malaysian weather, so we needed to switch on the aircond everytime she slept with it.

The weight on the baby chest to mimick a mother's touch is pure genius. I remember when my baby was a few days old, 7-10 days maybe, she slept for 5-6 hours straight. One time, I woke up in frantic because I slept so well, I fear my baby was not breathing!

I bought mine from ebay.


For stroller, it was Babyzen Yoyo vs GB Pockit vs Recaro Easylife.

Babyzen Yoyo is overpriced and has too many imitations.

GB Pockit, although small, compact and light, requires 2 hands to handle. Not suitable for me who is on-the-go and we often use the aeroplane to travel.

What I like about Recaro Easylife
- can be opened and folded single handedly
- freestanding fold
- small, light and compact enough
- 8 wheel suspension

I modified mine so it can be wheeled or hung on the shoulder. Ala...Pakai tali strap je...
So, if we have big luggage and kids don't want to sit in their stroller, I can just wheel it. Although, this rarely happens because I usually put my bag and other things on the stroller instead.

It's for 6 months old until 15kg only. But my firstborn could still sleep in it comfortably.

So, for me, the only downside's not for newborn. To compensate, for the first 6 months, I would use Babywrap by Mak Yang. It's locally made, a copy of an international brand. I bought mine at RM99, now it's 50% more expensive.

Okay lah. Tiga produk setakat ni. Nanti kalau I rajin, sambung lagi...Hehe.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017


1) How do you guys wear tudung? Why am I still not an expert of wearing tudung nicely? It's frustrating when I thought my tudung was all pretty, but it would be out of place after a period of time. Why you no hold still? Why you senget! Is it because my tudungs are cheap? Perhaps, I'm just not pretty enough. You know how some people can simply throw a shawl, all messy but still look pretty? Not me.

2) I used to think local products should be cheap. Like yo, you are made locally. With the price like this, might as well I buy proper brands.
Then, I realized...Well, they are expensive, perhaps because of the designs. I mean, you gotta pay for designs too, right...
Other brands could be cheaper because they simply copy the designs! You want cheap, you buy the Siam mad or China made lah, the ciplak.
Established brands could also offer cheaper brands because they sell in bulks. More produce, cheaper price. Can't get that for local products, especially if they are still babies. Hopefully, one day, when they've become bigger, they could bring down the price further- although highly unlikely, hehe.

In the meantime, if they are too expensive for your likings, always wait for the discounts!

3) My son is still with my husband, so what I did was...fraying the hems of an old pair of jeans. DIY project was not a 100% success because I think I should cut it above my ankle, but, whatever, boleh tutup aurat, hehe. 90 minutes well spend.
Next project is making the boyfriend's jeans.

So, no more excuse of 'I don't have anything *nice* to wear'.
And in the spirit of minimising my spendings, I pledge to mix and match my clothes a lot more.
Thank you.