debar debar

Tadi I baca paper The Star. Dekat page belakang-belakang tu, dia cakap, wanita yang berpayudara besar adalah lebih bijak, berdasarkan kajian yang dibuat oleh sebuah univeristy di Chicago. Scientifically katanya, perempuan berbuah dada besar ni lebih banyak merembeskan hormon kewanitaan yang merangsang minda.

WTF!

I punya boobs kecik gile, tapi I tak bodoh okay! My teteks do not contain my brain...




Last night, I was exchanging SMS with 4 different guys in a span of 30 minutes.

Due to the fact that 3 of the guys are more good looking than my boyfriend (the 4th guy is my boyfriend himself), terus I perasan player sekejap. Haha.

3 eligible bachelors, good looking and professionals, almost perfect. (Sigh)

That's when it hit me when Mother said, "Betulke nak kahwin ni? Kamu asyik keluar dengan lelaki lain."

'Keluar dengan lelaki lain' doesn't mean I am cheating on my boyfriend. First of all, my boyfriend is aware of my activities, second of all, my guy friends are well, my guy friends, nothing more than that, and last but not least, my boyfriend is not an unsecured freak who controls my every move.

Speaking of me 'keluar dengan lelaki lain', it's so funny, the other day, I went out with my colleague/ friend, and my boyfriend refused to put down the phone.

"Bila you nak hang up, ni? You ada benda lagi nak beritahu? Hehe..." I teased him.
"I tak tahulah. I rasa berdebar-debar pulak!"
"Berdebar-debar? Haha!" I laughed.
"Ye lah, sejak nak kahwin ni...Lepas kahwin, tak boleh buat macam ni lagi tau."
"Ye lah, kalau dah kahwin, I berdosa kalau tak ikut cakap you..."

Anyhow...

1.
This guy is currently unwillingly seeing two girls at a time. It all started when he went for a vacation and met these two girls and they both have crushes on him (who wouldn't?). So, when one of the girls asked him out, being the Mr. Nice Guy that he is, he couldn't say 'No' despite asking for my opinion (I told him not to give false hope).

"It feels wrong," he told me. "Because I went out with her colleague too, *Minah. I'm sure sooner or later, words will get to them, and they will think I'm such a player."

"Well, you are, if you don't acknowledge them that you are only interested in being friends with them. You should spill, you know, don't keep it a secret, like, 'Hey, *Gayah, I also went out with *Minah the other day, ya know...'"

"And tell them what? 'Oohh...And we had so much fun'?" This guy can be sarcastic sometimes.

"Then, tell them the truth. You are not into them!" was my advice.

"Tak boleh. Nanti diorang cakap, I ni perasan. Sebenarnya nak kawan-kawan je..."

To clarify things, I asked him, "Betulke they suka you?"

"I have the feelings. They keep calling me, asking me out, flirting with me..."

"What do you talk about?"

"Nothing."

"Do you call them back?"

"Itulah pasal...I tak pernah call them!" he exclaimed.

Girls...Please lah get the message when a guy is just being nice to you. Being nice to you doesn't mean he reciprocates your feelings.

2.
This friend of mine has everything, except, you guess it right, the lady love.

He's moving on a step higher in his corporation ladder very soon. Perhaps, he thinks this is the best time to pursue the girl he met several years ago.

He asked me to get her number for him.

The problem is, the girl doesn't want us to give out her phone number unless the guy asks for it personally directly from her.

But I think it's so sweet of him, for the fact the girl whom she met years ago still lingers in his mind...She sure made such a big impact in his life.

Wonder when things like this will ever occur to me. Haha. Gatal.

Anyway, he sounds desperate, doesn't he? He can have any girls he wants (believe me, he's like, one of the most popular guys in the corporation because 'He is so perfect'), but he is desperate to have this girl's number.

I told him, "Good luck and all the best. I can only help you this far."

I don't like to play cupid. I suck at it.

3.
The girl that this guy fancies is getting married soon.

He's not too heartbroken. But I'm sure he feels a bit depressed and under pressure seeing many of our friends are already attached.

Ah, I remember how dashing he looked when he took off his helmet and his leather jacket. I remember how every girl was checking him out and every guy was checking his bike out. And I remember how he promised to bring me on his ride one day.

Anyway, there's no exciting news to be told about him here.

We contacted each other just because it's time for a meet-up. Afterall, I've known him the longest (among all four) and he was my closest friend before I met my boyfriend. He became second when my boyfriend knocked on my life. :)

ongkos

Mother and Father have decided on the amount of hantaran my boyfriend should give.

I had to pass the number to him.

Him: Dah agak dah.
Me: Kenapa dah agak dah?
Him: Sebab you comel and pandai and baik hati...
Me: Boleh?
Him: Boleh. Ma saya pun tak cakap apa. Dia okay je.

2.
Mother: So how?
Me: I told him already.
Mother: And?
Me: It's expected.
Mother: Kenapa expected?
Me: Sebab kita bukan orang negeri dia. Tapi mak dia cakap okay.
Mother: Kenapa kena tanya mak dia pula? Dia bukannya minta duit mak dia, kan?

3.
Auntie: Berapa banyak minta? Kita patutnya tanya budget dia dulu.
Mother: RM**k
Auntie: Kalau budget dia lebih, boleh minta lebih. RM**k?
Mother: Banyak sangat tu. Macam jual anak.
Auntie 2: Eh, zaman sekarang, biasalah tu. Sedara kita X tu pun, anak dia punya hantaran dia RM**k.

4.
Me: You know what, if my parents ask for RM**k, you should give them more than that. (Laughs) Mesti parents I macam, Wow, tak minta pun dapat. (Laughs)
Him: Tunggu I banyak duitlah, sayang...

5.
Him: My friends terkejut when I told them the amount.
Me: Really? Why? Selalunya, berapa harga biasa dekat negeri you?
Him: Dalam RM*k to RM**k.
Me: Oh. Tapi biasalah RM**k tu! All my friends pun dapat hantaran RM**k juga!
Him: Ye?
Me: Yup. You rasa mahal ke?

6.
Him: How many hantarans do you want? 7 balas 9, okay?
Me: Okay.
Him: You nak apa?
Me: I nak 1. telekung 2. cincin and hantaran 3. sirih junjung 4. handbag 5. jam 6.......I nak PDA 7.......I nak kunci rumah and kunci kereta. (Laughs)
Him: Pandailah you ni!
Me: You dapat 9 dulang okay!
Him: Tapi you isi dengan buah-buahan kan? Macam I tak tahu...(Laughs)
Me: Fine. Belikan I laptop.
Him: Laptop tak muat atas dulang.
Me: You belilah laptop yang kecil dan comel dan mahal...Mesti muat! (Laughs)

7.
Him: You nak belikan I kasut apa?
Me: It depends on what kind of handbag you will buy me. Lets say...If you buy me a Guess handbag, takkanlah I nak belikan you kasut Gucci kan!

8.
A reminder to myself.
I want a simple, cost effective wedding.
Nothing too fancy and over the top.
I shouldn't lose myself in the midst of preparation. I ni kan seorang yang berjimat.

girly dilemma

Sometimes, I feel like I want to start writing about my wedding plans.

- I don't want a bridesmaid (because I'd have too many to be included and I don't want them all wearing the same colours. Too radical.)
- I don't want a majlis merenjis (Mother is against it too, she hates being put in the spotlight)
- If I don't want a majlis merenjis, why would I need a dais for?
- I want to make my wedding convenient for all my friends to come. That would mean to host it from day to night. But that means my friends wouldn't gather at a place at a time. No fun.
- I already have a design in my mind for my wedding dress, but it looks best in white, but I prefer it not to be white since I'll be wearing white for the akad nikah.

You know, girly things like that.

However...

- I don't want to get too excited about it just in case...
- I want my ceremony to be unique
- I want my anomosity to remain

Now, that's what I call a girly dilemma.




I don't know when my busy life is going to end. Mother and Father asked for the boyfriend's family to wait.

I don't understand why we need to wait. I mean, it's not like we are going to book a khemah and cater for food or anything like that. It will be a very small event, attended by immediate family members. I know from my side, it would be just me and my family. Nothing big. Just for the sake of adat. Just for the sake to make everything official. Just for sake to tell my parents that I AM SERIOUS AND CONFIDENT ABOUT THIS.

The date proposed by Mother and Father is not feasible for me. My leave will not be approved, even if I explain to my bosses that it's for MY merisik. Besides, my leaves are sacred to me (due to how limited they are) hence I'd prefer to burn them when I really need to.

I forced my boyfriend to bring it forward. My boyfriend agreed and contacted Mother.

Mother: I want to ask you again. Betul nak dekat dia?
Me: Betul.
Mother: Sebab kamu asyik keluar dengan lelaki lain.
Me: Tu kawan kerja la. I memang banyak kawan lelaki, nak buat macam mana.
Mother: Ma tanak kamu salah pilih. Ma tengok muka dia macam takde duit je.
Me: Kalau dia ade duit ke, takde duit ke, muka dia tetap sama.

Okay, that's settled.

Another thing, I don't know what to wear. My boyfriend bought a 4-metre silk textile a while back, but I hate it. I thought I could pull it off, convincing myself that I look pretty in anything I wear. So, I tried the cloth on me last night, it was still ugly. I hate it. So much.

I'd rather be absence from the ceremony than wearing that.

Me: I kena kerja. Mana ada masa.
Him: I nak datang ni bawa family I, you kena ada!
Me: Tapi ni merisik je. Do I have to be there?
Him: Habis tu?
Me: Lagipun I takde baju nak pakai.
Him: Kain yang I beli tu, bila you nak buat?
Me: I tak tahu nak buat design macam mana.
Him: Antara baju kurung atau baju kebaya?
Me: (Actually, even if it's been made into either, it still looks ugly and cheap) Baju tu tak sesuai buat kebaya. And tak cantik buat baju kurung.
Him: Nevermind, I'll ask my tailor design macam mana sesuai.
Me: Your tailor?
Him: Our tailor.
Me: (Still, like I said before, even if it's been made into either, it still looks ugly and cheap)

Can't I just buy and wear something else, something that would compliment and bring the best out of me!

Now, if you think we have a dishonest relationship, you are wrong.

I told him earlier, hours after receiving the gift, that I dislike it.

Of course, he couldn't accept it and the conversation became sour. "I had four girls picking it for you! Do you know how much did I spend for it! You senang-senang je kata you tak suka!"

Well, obviously the four girls had no taste.
And, if I don't like something, shouldn't I just say it? I mean, he is my very own boyfriend, not some bosses I'm trying to impress, thus he shall know exactly how I feel.

I felt guilty soon afterwards, so I apologized and I said, "I'm sorry. It's not too bad, I guess. I like it. I look good in anything, right?"

Deep down, I knew, I look ugly wearing it. Who am I kidding? Korang ingat I ni Nasha Aziz? Heidi Klum? Are you crazy!

i think i still know you and your family so well. too well.

We were so close, like sisters, the four of us. We thought our friendship would last a lifetime. We tried hard to keep it alive. But after school, the four of us went separate ways.

We were young and penniless, staying in contact like we used to was impossible. We met new friends, we embarked new adventures with different people.

One by one is getting married. I attended her wedding. I wanted to be a part of the group, but she has new bestfriends now and a bridesmaid I don't know who.

Nevertheless, I was happy for her. This is her now; the person I loved, the person I still love, because I was in her history and she was in mine. It was her day, her special day.

I was in her house which I hadn't stepped into for a very long time. I saw the familiar faces in her house: her mother, her father and her two brothers.

Her elder brother looked different, somehow. Older but simply not the same anymore. He wasn't like this before. His good looks remain but there was something missing. The sparkle in his eyes. The liveliness in his personality. The warmth of his presence. They are all gone now. I noticed my bestfriend hadn't spoken a word with him too.

I kinda knew what he had gotten himself into. But I shrugged it off. 'This is my bestfriend's brother, I knew him since I was a kid. It couldn't be...How silly of me...' My concious wanted to believe my suspicion was wrong. Just because I've seen so many, it doesn't mean I could tell one when I meet one.

Moments before the ceremony, my bestfriend looked so radiant. She was in her place. The handsome groom was near. Everybody anticipated the glorious event. All eyes were fixed on them. That's when I saw, at the corner of my eyes, a figure slowly manouvered himself out of the crowd, creeping up the stairs.

I was right. A loving brother couldn't possibly miss his sister's wedding, especially during the 'Aku nikahkan dikau...' Unlike her other brother, who was so involved in it.

I stopped questioning what I know. She doesn't have to tell but I know drugs has sucked the humanity out from her brother's soul.

It is such a pity, such a waste, for a smart, educated man, to fall into the dark, deep hole.

We are not as close as before for me to discuss something so personal with you. Even if we were, we were not as young as before, when we truly told each other everything and anything in this world. We are at the age when every word that's coming out from our mouths is being filtered by our brains first, before we said something regretful.
We learned that already. Because we've grown up.

Still, my friend, everything's going to be alright.

That was your day. Congratulations on your marriage. I'm glad you met your husband. I'm sure he was there when things got difficult, when I wasn't there. May you live happily ever after.

the proposal 1.

I spend less and less time on the Internet. No, I don't know what happened to Piah Zadora, to answer a reader's question. Haha, funny that the reader mentioned her name. Piah Zadora, once a legend, I wish somebody was able to reveal her identity. You know, it'd be fun to watch the drama.

But I guess, people move on. Those who shut down their blogs are now writing again.

Anyhoo...

On Sunday, Mother sent an SMS asking whether I was coming home for lunch because the menu of the day was fish and chips. I couldn't resist it, instead of having a fun loving date with my boyfriend, I forced him to join me at my house.

I think, my boyfriend was preparing for his speech for my parents, but I kept interrupting by, asking him to eat with me, talking about work with Mother. Then, I excused myself to get ready for our special dinner.

He was supposed to use the time to blurt it out to my parents.

This is what happened, according to him:

He went to one of the rooms to perform his prayer, waiting for the perfect moment, but it was spoiled by the sudden influx of people into my house- my siblings and their kids.

I, on the other hand, thought he did it, went to greet him, all made up and smiling.

In the car, he admitted, "I haven't told yet."

"Why?" I asked and he mentioned the reason above. "Tak apa, esok I cuba lagi, okay?" were his comforting words.

At the same time, I wasn't in my very best of health. I had a flu. My boyfriend thought I was crying. I did not. But I pretended I was.

"Kenapa you sedih?"
"Sebab you lah!"

The intention was to jokingly alarm him. However, I was too engrossed in my character, it became real, the emotions- anger and disappointment.

"You are always like this, aren't you? You give me all kinds of reasons!"
"Memang betul, tadi tiba-tiba ramai orang!"
"Well, perhaps, ni Tuhan nak tunjuk yang we are not supposed to be together!"

I am more mature now. I limit my words when I'm angry, avoiding regretful conversations that might come out from my words.

Silence. I fixed my eyes on the road. I waited for him to stroke my hair or hold and kiss my hands, like the way he always does when I'm upset.

He did not.

Instead, he took out his mobile phone, which made me angrier. Wrong timing, Sir, to call your friend at times like this, all hell's gonna break loose.

Actually, he was calling Mother. "Esok, dalam pukul 12 tengahari, saya datang rumah, ada hal nak jumpa."

Feeling embarassed, it did work to calm me down. My mouth started to curve slowly upwards.

Dinner at Mandarin Hotel was superb. We ate so much, to make worth of the RM100++ per head buffet. Not bad, huh? It was my first time there, didn't know the price is affordable and fit the quality served there.

The night ended well.

I arrived soundly, but Mother was obviously was anticipating for my return. She doesn't usually stay up after midnight. I escaped her by quickly ran towards my room, getting ready for my slumber.

Mother knocked on the door. "Apa yang dia nak cakap?"

"That his parents are going to see you soon."

"Are you sure? Ataupun kamu nak kahwin just because all your friends are getting married?"
"Orang dah nak kahwin lama dah. Tapi Mother yang tak bagi dulu..."

"Dah fikir betul-betul? Betulke ini orangnya?"
"Betul lah."

"Betul ke dia kerja xxx?"
"Betul."

"Nanti lepas kahwin tinggal mana? Jauh?"
"Sini lah."

"Tapi dia kerja jauh."
"Nanti dia pindah kerja sini."

"Kenapa tak boleh cari yang lebih elok?"
"Eloklah tu. Yang penting, hati baik."

"You have so many friends. Kenapa tak lekat?"
"Dia yang paling baik."

The next day, in the morning:

"I told Father. Dia cakap kena tunggu dua tahun."
"Dua tahun! Tak mau!"

"Ma cakap, 2 tahun lama sangat. Setahun okaylah."
"I nak bulan 6. Kalau ikut dia, dia nak bulan 3."

"Lagi satu, Father cakap kena datang lepas Raya Haji."





As planned, my boyfriend paid a visit in the afternoon. I didn't know what my boyfriend discussed with Mother, I haven't got the chance to interview him yet. But it's sad, huh? Because Father knew he was coming but decided to settle his work. My boyfriend called one day earlier to make sure they were at home, but Father left.

And the reason Father wants two years for us to prepare for the wedding? I think he secretly hopes that in the meantime, I would find somebody else.

berkaitan.

So, it's like this.

When you drive a luxury car, everything that comes out of it, people will believe it's authentic. Because nobody can fake an expensive car.

But, if you carry a Louis Vuitton and you only drive a Kancil, people find it hard to believe that the LV bag you have on your shoulder actually cost you RM5000.

So, there's this one makcik who just bought a Brabus.

"Kalau Auntie bawa kereta ni, makcik pakai handbag made in Golok pun takpe..." she said.

True, true.

But I also have met a person with a different kind of mentality.

"Ye, memang betul kalau kita pakai kereta besar, kalau kita pakai Gucci fake pun orang percaya. Orang lain tak tahu, tapi kita sendiri tahu kita pakai barang fake...Untuk kepuasan saya sendiri, saya mesti beli yang original punya. Sebab kalau ikut betul-betul dari segi Islam, menciplak itu dah dikira mencuri....Sebab tu, kalau kita tengok orang putih, mereka tak support sangat CD-CD ciplak sebab mereka tahu, mencuri hasil kerja orang lain tu salah."

He added, "Kalau kita pakai barang original kan, kita sendiri rasa confident. Betul tak?"

Eh, tapi I rasa confident kalau ada orang mengorat I! Haha!

Speaking about being flirtatious, I don't know why some people don't take engagements seriously. When you are engaged, heck, when you are risik-ed, it means you are already attached!

Just now, a doctor indirectly asked for my number. I was happy, of course. As I was telling my boyfriend how hot I am (told you my confidence level go sky-high when somebody shows his interest in me, haha), we concluded he must think I haven't found out about his status. Gatal!

A colleague also recently was involved in this love triangle. He found out that the girl he was seeing was somebody's fiance from her friend. He went ballistic, of course. "Tapi kan, kasihan juga dekat perempuan tu, sebab dia cakap dia dipaksa untuk bertunang," he told us.
What kind of bull is that!

To snap him out of it, I said, "You nak percaya lagi cakap dia? Ini bukan zaman dulu-dulu lah. Kalau tak suka, cakap tak suka. Takde mak bapak akan paksa anak dia bertunang."

My other colleague said, "Orang zaman sekarang ni, tak paham konsep bertunang. Kalau dah bertunang, patutnya sudah bersedia untuk berkahwin. Dia tu, dah bertunang, tapi mata masih nak pandang orang lain..."

"Because...She thinks you are such a good catch!" I said, referring it to him, my colleague. "Kalau dah bertunang, dah bersedia nak kahwin, kita patutnya dah terima baik buruk tunang kita...Mana boleh, dulu suka sama suka, lepas jumpa you, tiba-tiba semua buruk tunang dia boleh nampak!"

I so don't like dishonesty!

Speaking about dishonesty, one pakcik in his late 40s was caught for stealing cash money.

I don't know why, thieves always think they are so smart but in actual fact, they are stupid.

He did it in the broad daylight and people witnessed the event. So, the boss investigated, within hours, he knew it was him.

Since this man is the boss, he knows a lot of people, one of them is a policeman. He arranged with the policeman to go the thieve's house. The thieve ran away and had a cup of coffee in a nearby coffeeshop, probably to relief his thirst after all the running. (Did I mention how stupid thieves are?)

The boss and the cop caught him, he admitted and returned the money. The boss, out of his mercy, didn't report the case because Hari Raya was a week away. He didn't want the thieve's family to be saddened by it and he didn't want to take away the only breadwinner in the family.

So, he let the thieve go. The boss didn't shout. The boss didn't even fire him. The young boss said, "Pakcik datanglah kerja minggu depan...Lain kali kalau pakcik ada masalah duit, minta duit tu dengan saya, jangan curi."

Just now, the kind boss even pay for his workers' zakats and went to all his workers' houses to deliver kain pelikat to them as Hari Raya gifts, including the thieve's house.

Agaknya, kenapa kain pelikat?

tiga cerita.

First thing first,

Do you remember the time when we were in school and we learned that even gas has weight ('jisim') and the teachers made us do the experiment to prove it:
Two balloons, a straw and strings.




We blew up the balloons, hung it on the hanging straw, then we popped up one of the balloons, and we saw how the other balloon sagged.

"Wallah!" said the teacher. "Hipotesis terbukti!"

It has been years that I have a query in my mind about the legibility of the experiment.

Now, a question the scientists out there:

How can we measure the weight of air in air itself?

It's like, measuring the weight of water underwater!
Imagine doing the experiment in the bottom the swimming pool. Fill the balloons with water, immerse them in water, pop one balloon up and watch what happens next.
Will the other fat balloon fall to the bottom?
I don't know. Do you know?

Back to the gas experiment, perhaps, we are actually proving that carbon dioxide is heavy. We expire CO2 into the balloons and according it's nature, it makes the balloon sag.

That's why we use CO2 to fight fire. Fire eats up oxygen. We spray CO2 to cover the fire from getting more O2. CO2 is heavier than O2, so it acts like a blanket.

Can someone please answer me? Sudah bertahun-tahun ku memikirkan hal ini tapi tak pernah pula bertanya pada sesiapa.

2.
I think I'm finally right on my track.

"Ectopy, why are you so happy today? You smile and smile, why?"
"You look happy today!"
My bosses said on two separate occasions.

The last time I got so many complimets on my happiness was 5-6 years ago. I was very happy back then.
"From the first time I saw you, the very first thing I notice was your smile. You have this bright smile and you are always smiling," said one of my lecturers 5-6 years ago. I consider it as one of the best compliments I've ever gotten and I'll cherish and remember it forever.

That's why when someone commented on how I'm always smiling, I am reminded about how myself used to be.

I miss myself and I'm glad that I am finding back myself!

:)

3.
It's either, what people say is true, or my boyfriend is playing with my heart.

We are planning to get married. However, unfortunate things keep happening to my boyfriend, it's almost unbelievable.

His father collapsed and was hospitalized but the doctors could not find anything conclusive about his condition.

He is still saving up to replace the RM60K that he lends to his so-called friend who refuses to pay him back.

Me: Where are you?
Him: Buka puasa dengan lawyer.
Me: I thought you dah tak kawan dengan lawyer!
Him: Lawyer sorang tu je yang I taknak kawan...In fact, I dah tak contact dengan dia dah. Dia call pun I tak angkat. Bila I pikir balik, marahnya!
Me: Bongoklah you ni, kalau you dah taknak contact dia lagi, macam mana you nak minta hutang you balik! Mana tahu kalau dia call you sebab nak bayar hutang ke...

I hate it when my boyfriend becomes emotional over money matters. Last-last, diri sendiri yang rugi!

Then, when I pushed him so things can proceed faster, he told me how he was duped again! More $$$ gone, and he said he needs time to replace what's been lost.

Is he making things up to avoid being married to me, or does things suddenly happen for a reason? Is he hiding something from me???

Since I'm in a new workplace, for some reason I don't like to share anything personal with my colleagues.

"Cik dah kahwin?" my staff asked.
I denied, memang betul belum kahwin pun.

"Have you watched 'Up'?" asked my boss.
"I haven't."
"Why? It's really good, it's so funny!"
"Well, I don't have anybody to watch with," I was not even thinking that the words I said might imply that I'm single. But it's true I usually watch movies with my boyfriend, but ever since he's busy with his work, I really don't have anybody to watch movies with!
"Lain kali Cik tengoklah dengan boss..." my staff interfered, giggling as she said it.

And, whenever people asking me whether I am attached, I'd answer neither. My boyfriend knows about this.

Him: Kenapa you tak mengaku?
Me: Sebab, kalau orang tahu I dah ada boyfriend, nanti orang tak mahu mengorat I!
Him: You jangan nak menggatal eh...
Me: Ye lah, you kan tak mahu kahwin dengan I cepat-cepat, jadi, sementara tu, baik I cari orang lain.
Him: Amboi, sedapnya cakap!
Me: Eh, you tu cuma calon suami, bukan bakal suami! Apa salahnya I cari calon banyak-banyak...
Him: Sabarlah sayang! I nak kahwin dengan you lah! You ingat I kerja ni untuk apa?

Well, if I have to be patient with his lateness, he has to be patient with my attitude. Right?

type and write

The truth is, as much as I'm loving this new chapter of my life, I also miss how my life used to be.

I especially miss all the time I had to blog-hop and discover interesting blogs and songs. It's like finding hidden treasures.

I was at work today and I was typing on the computer when someone mentioned to me, "Did you take typing class before?"

No. Typing is MY talent. Haha.

That's the second time this month somebody has noticed about my ability to type really fast.
Actually, I've never realized how speedy I type until these two people pointed it out to me.

Anyway, I explained that I used to spend a lot of my time on the Internet. I wanted to add, "In fact, I used to be an avid writer."

Write.
I miss writing. I miss expressing myself. I've been writing for as long as I can remember, fiction and non-fiction.
In school, I made excellent compositions, I was named 'Best' in both languages. It wasn't a talent, of course, I had good teachers, I followed their guidance and I'm still practicing them. I had teachers photocopying my materials, teachers asking to keep my Exercise Books...

At home, privacy was scarce. We lived in a small house and I had siblings and my parents who kept rummaging through my stuff. In those days, there was no Internet, and the only way to write discretely is by writing poems.

Yes, I miss writing. During my further studies, I always wondered if I was really in the correct stream. Writing is what I did best, but we (my family, the society and I) decided the other would give me better prospect for the future.

Besides, I used to feel that writing was just a hobby.
Like blogging. This is just one of my favourite pastimes.

And I shall write whenever I have the time and something to tell.

I feel like a model when I found out that I'm being paid RM560 for 7 hours of work. All I do is sit there and wait for my clients. If they are there, I consult them for 10 minutes at most. In between, I read magazines.
I say, all the hard work I did in school finally paid off! :)




I think people are way too scared of H1N1. Unnecessary paranoia.
Perhaps, deep down, I actually hate those ugly masks.
Especially those anti-bacterial masks. How's wearing those more expensive anti-bacterial masks prevent you from getting infected with the flu when H1N1 is a virus, not a bacteria!

Now that you understand that a virus is way smaller than a bacteria, please enlighten me why on earth some people buy those purposeless cloth Hello Kitty masks and wear it proudly like they're immune!

Now, moving on to the number 2 in my list: Parents who bring babies and toddlers to crowded places.
They are weak creatures. Tak payah tunggu H1N1, the normal flu pun can kill them, tahu?

the clients

I love my clients.

They are the ones who make my day when I'm at work. I get to meet all kinds of attitudes, and when I see the kind I like, it melts my heart.

Like this elderly man in his sixties, with both lower limbs amputated, but still kissing his wife and say, "I love you" to each other.

Like this mother whose son an injecting drug addict and I've heard her being shouted at by her son, but she is still there, caring and nursing him.

Like this man who is so lively, cheerful, fresh and funny whenever I meet him.

I like working with the poor, no matter what race they are, we are all the same.

My dear, dear clients. I wish to let them know how they have helped me go through the dog days at work, how significant they actually are in this world, at least to me...

Before I started this, I knew what was I getting myself into. But, it was too late to back out. So, I repeatedly told myself that whenever something bad happens, whenever I get a scolding, I am going to ignore and laugh. Laugh like nobody business. Laugh until I annoy the scolder.

Do I do it now? I do, but I do it in my heart. I have to hide the inappropriateness of sudden laugh before I get sacked for having a psychiatry condition.

And it helps a lot. Sometimes, after a round of scoldings, I'd sit down and I'd be on the verge of breaking down, but I'd be reminded about the resolution I made before I accepted this job.

I'd laugh inside my head, picturing how it would turn out be if I truly laugh during the event.

I'd be smiling foolishly after I'm snapped out from my imagination. Haha.

My latest amusement at work is- my secret admirer.

I was told by my friend that somebody fancies me, but he was too afraid to strike up a conversation.
Cute eh?
"Dia cakap you ni sexy..." said my friend.
"Huh? Sexy? Pakai baju kerja pun sexy ke? Hahaha."

Told the boyfriend about this and I asked him to spread this among his friends.

"Why?"

"So your friends would know that you have a hot girlfriend. I'm still sizzling hot in the market! Hahaha!"