Tuesday, December 28, 2010

(Note: The previous post was written one day after his death. This was written about two weeks after)

Today is only a few days after 2 weeks of Father's passing.

I went back to work three days after is burial. I was strong. Like I said before, I keep telling myself that probably it was better for him to go when he was at home.

I was at the hospital the other day. I stood by a client's side when the doctor told the patient's family the devastating news.
"Orang, kalau dah lebih usia 50tahun, jantungnya akan jadi lemah."
Immediately, my eyes were filled up with tears. 'But this patient is still young. Father was still young!' I thought to myself. I excused myself and gathered the courage to face the day.

The next day, I learned that that particular client of mine passed away. For the first time of my life, I felt so attached to her, that I sobbed uncontrollably = she just reminded me so much of Father.

One lonely night, I laid on my bed. At the end of the line, was my ever faithful boyfriend, who accompanied my sleepless night. Softly, I told him my many regrets,

I was half-convinced that Father hated me.

"Abang, Abang rasa Father lebih sanggup mati daripada nikahkan I dengan you?"
Probably that was his wish. He was against us so much, probably that was Father's doa in front of the Kaabah.

My boyfriend said: "Sayang tak boleh fikir macam tu. Semua kerja Tuhan. Awal atau lewat mati. Father doa yang terbaik untuk anak dia. Supaya awak dapat suami yang soleh. Father dah restu perkahwinan kita. Family you pun dah boleh terima Abang. Mestilah dia nak nikahkan kita tapi tak kesampaian kerana panggilan Ilahi."

"Abang ingat sebelum Father pergi Mekah, Abang jumpa dia dan makan sekali dengan dia."

I became even more sad because, "Abang dapat duduk and makan dengan dia but I tak sempat nak berborak before dia pergi Mekah. Lepas balik dari Mekah pun tak sempat bercakap."

Oh, my God. It is so hard to type all this.

Many things ran through my mind like
How my children woundn't get to know their grandFather
Who would kiss me on my forehead on the day of my nikah
etc etc

Up to the point that it made me so angry that my boyfriend didn't wed me earlier!

Me: Kenapa cepat sangat pergi?
People: Sabar, Ectopy. Orang baik memang Tuhan sayang, mati cepat. Dia meninggal pun tak susah.

Dear Father,
Even if you hated me, I love you and I hope you forgive me even though I probably had hurt you for so many times before.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Him: Tadi I jumpa Abang Amir, dia tanya pasal you. I cakap, I dah lama tak jumpa you sebab parents you pergi Mekah, kita tak boleh jumpa.
Me: Uh-huh...
Him: Abang Amir cakap, "Alimnya kau ni..." Abang cakap, "Mestilah kena jaga, ni nak buat bini ni!"

(Love love)

Him: Tengah buat apa?
Me: Boring...Tak tahu nak buat apa...Abang, Majalah Tiga cerita pasal kucing...
Him: Yeke? Abang nak pergi tengok lah...
Me: ...(Phone disconnected)...

He chose the cats over me!

3) I know my boyfriend so well that I noticed he called me more frequent than usual- three times during lunch time, and a few more after that.

After work, he called me again. This time, I was alone in the car and not surrounded by my colleagues, so I asked him straight, "What happened today? Kenapa you call I banyak kali hari ni?"

Bf: You ni, I call pun salah, I tak call pun salah!
Me: Tak de lah...Kenapa you ni? Lain macam je...
Bf: Rindu girlfriend sendiri pun tak boleh ke?
Me: Eleh, rindu ke? Semalam I hantar gambar, you terus tidur, tak cakap apa-apa pun!

The night before, I sent an MMS to my boyfriend wearing a traditional costume. I just bought it and was so excited to let my boyfriend see it.

Bf: I suka lah you pakai baju tu. Comel gila...Tadi I siap tunjuk gambar tu dekat kawan I, dia cakap awak cantik, muka manja.

Then he laughed.

Bf: Sebab tu I call you banyak kali hari ni, sebab takut ada orang nak tackle you. Biar diorang tau you dah ada suami dah!
Me: Kan I dah agak dah! You lain macam hari ni sebab kawan you puji I, lepas tu suddenly you nak sebok-sebok call I pulak! Hahaha! Takutlah tu!

4) My boss is having a scandal with my colleague and I don't like it.

Not because I am jealous, but because my boss is married with kids and the whole department knows about it because they are not being discrete at all!

I used to respect him because I thought he was a nice, good-looking, decent boss. Now, I question his credibility.

Another colleague tried talking to the mistress, but she said, "He's all worth it."


Eee, I tak suka betullah! Kesian wife dia! I hate them both! I hate men. Lelaki jahat!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Message received:
"Salam, just want to share starting next month Jan 2011 all the foreign workers "maids, restaurant waiters, cleaners" will get privilage to admit at PRIVATE HOSPITAL payable by their employers insurance company. If your company provide room sharing with 2 or 4 or 6 ppl in a room and u plan to upgrade plan to SINGLE ROOM cuz don't want to share room with those kind of ppl...do contact me by today..tq"

I am so annoyed when I got the message, I wish I had the nerve to tell her off. And the way she emphasized her words, siap buat capital letters lagi...Please lah!

How could you label foreign workers, the maid, the restaurant waiters and the cleaners, as 'those kind of people' as if they don't deserve to live!
What kind of mentality is this!

Hina sangat ke diorang tu sampai tak mahu share sebilik dengan diorang dalam hospital!

Well, you know what, I will never buy any insurance policy from you, Miss You-think-you-are-so-great!

I don't like it when we are treated different from each other just because of our social status. No matter how insignificant a person is, that person must have at least do some contribution to our society.

You downgrade your maids, your restaurant waiters and you cleaners, I want to see how you survive without them. Probably one of your family members will become one and I want to see how you handle it.
And you are so stupid, you have no idea how some of these foreign workers actually contribute to generate our economy, don't you?

I don't know why I am so emo about this.

Oh, yes, probably because I have been in foreign countries and I have seen how my smart friends who did odd jobs to support themselves. I have seen how some employers think we had very low IQs but for the matter of facts, we were studying to become professionals who automatically ensure us to earn way more than them!
I have seen how some employers treat us so badly but guess what, we come very good families, our parents can afford way more than our employers could, but we did what we did just because...

Humans are all the same!
And it is not so bad to share a hospital rooms with 'those kind of people'.

Karma will hunt you one day.

My friend and I were talking the other day. He was in distress because he was having some issues with a colleague. He said the only thing that held him back from committing a revenge is the advice he received from our boss.

Our boss said, "Just remember, never be a bad person. Not even to your staffs. Because you don't know, someday, your staff will become your boss. As for me, for example, I used to coach *Jenny. Now, *Jenny is working as my colleague, and she is even doing our schedule. Could you imagine what she can do to me if I was bad towards her years ago?"