Wednesday, April 7, 2010

pretty shoes make me happy

Listening to:
Their Cell by Girl in a Coma.

Life has its ups and downs.

The best part about it is when you compared what happened during your bad times with the good times you are having.

Like yesterday, I knew I was going to have a very difficult time at work, so many things to do, but as usual, tak cukup kaki tangan, and with so many petty complaints that I need to look into (sometimes, they are not even my job, but I don't want to be calculative), I casually asked a close friend of mine:

"How long do you think before I explode? Wanna bet? 1 month? 2 months?" I said while giggling.

"I'd say...By this Friday!"

Little did I know, I had my mini explosion last night itself.

I cried to my boyfriend. I have the best, most understanding boyfriend ever. He listened and gave me encouragement. And even though he was not next to me physically, I could feel him stroking my hair trying to calm me down.

I'm glad I have my sweet friends around too. I seldom tell them what's bothering me, but sometimes I wish they know how much I appreciate it when out of nowhere, they send me SMSes to ask me out for supper or things like that. They don't know how much they've done to save me.

Do you know that it's difficult to be a nice person? Because, to be a true, genuinely nice person,
1) you shouldn't expect anything in return.
2) you shouldn't mind doing the nice things. You must always willingly to do them.
3) you have to have patience.
4) tak boleh nak mengungkit.
5) kena persistent, atau dalam Bahasa Arabnya, kena istiqamah.
6) kena consistently have a pure heart, tak boleh evil.

See...Susah okay!

Lepas tu, nanti kena pijak pijak, tapi you still have to be patient and put a smile on your face.

Whenever I feel angry at someone, I try to find a good thing about that person so I can't blame him/ her,
like, "Sejahat-jahat mulut dia pun, at least dia pakai tudung, tak macam I ni...Pahala dia lagi banyak dari I, so jangan ingat diri I ni bagus sangat nak benci-benci orang!" Lepas tu terus insaf, tapi apakan daya, diri masih nak ber'skirt'. Haha...

Oh, well, but today, I am happy. Way happier than yesterday!

I decided to wear my new, cutest shoes ever to work.

Early in the morning, I was greeted with compliments of my pretty shoes.

Heeee! I can be such a girly girl sometimes even at this age!

Seriously, those shoes have magic, everytime I look at them, I smile like a little kid getting a new toy. I'm so happy with my purchase, dah lah comel, cheap and comfortable pulak tu! Cukup 3 Cs!

The day went so well today, I can even list down the things that make me happy:

1) less work because I was stationed outside my usual workplace. Celebrate!

2) was greeted by a guy from Brunei, who said,
"Hai. Saya selalu nampak awak. Awak siapa nama?"
And then he asked me where I lived and etc.
I told him I needed to go, but he said, "Agak-agak bila awak boleh bagi number telephone?"
My answer was, "Nanti-nantilah eh?"
Heee...Then terus telefon boyfriend and excitedly told him I kena ngorat. (Giggles)

3) Was reminded by something that happened a few days before:
A crazy person, like a real crazy person, was hanging around at my workplace. So as I was doing my work, he said, "Awak banyak cantiklah!"

Jangan layan.

I went home, I told my boyfriend that I was sad because a crazy man thought I was pretty. Maksudnya, mestilah I tak cantik because if he knows what's beautiful and what not, he would have taken care of himself better and wear proper attire!

My boyfriend said, "Crazy men are honest."

I refused to listen to him, until today, I teringat dekat Alice in Wonderland. :)

4) One of my bosses actually noticed my hard work, like finally!

5) Can I mention shoes, again?

P/S: I lost RM500 today. So sad. Could have given Mother the money instead. But I am still happy. Duit cuma. Lainkali cari lagi. Even though it was totally not my fault, but I redha. I hope, whoever has MY money now, will use them wisely for good deeds.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

A few weeks back, I read a blog. The blogger talked about the assignment he/ she had been given by his/ her lecturer: Write 10 words that best describe about you. Then choose the best three, and elaborate.

According to him/ her, the assignment is more difficult than it sounds. I don't have to try it to agree, but anyway, I am going to do it now, spontaneously, I promise.

Oh, my, this is going to be loooong.

Time start 0017.

1- optimistic
2- cheerful
3- split
4- adventurous
5- reasonable

Time finish 0055.

Okay, I give up. I need more than one word to describe me. Like 'Split'. I am actually trying to say that I have a split personality. I couldn't find another word which carries the same meaning. The closest is 'indecisive'. But I am not really indecisive, I just have a split personality! Happy now, sad the next moment, like a bipolar person, but I don't really suffer from a bipolar psychotic behaviour disorder. I just have a split personality, understand?

Anyhow, this is an assignment. We usually have one week to complete one assignment. I'll continue later, okay?

I wrote 5 words already. But if I were to choose only 3, I don't which of them are best to describe me. I don't have the slightest idea!

This is to describe who I am. I am me, so I must know how am I like, ain't I?

The lesson here is, 'The hardest lesson is to know thyself'.

Work is crazy. Despite the craziness, I am still inspired, on random days.

Someone at work is constantly scolded. I adore her patience and her determination.

My friend told me, she once said, "Kerja tu ibadah. Biarlah orang nak marah kita pun."

Ibadah. I like that word.

Next time, whenever I feel shitty at work, I just have to remind myself, "Kalau nak buat ibadah, hati kena ikhlas."

I'm surrounded by many new colleagues and I have to bear with their myriad attitudes!

I especially hate those whose jobs are to assist me but they don't even attempt to assist me at all. Dah lah refuse to do their job, being rude to me pulak tu.

Sometimes, I feel like, "Hello, I am your boss, tolong respect sikit boleh tak?" Geram tau. I am polite to you, I even call you 'Kak', not by your pangkat (yang lebih rendah from mine), and it's not like I don't have better work to do, can't you be at least civilised to me back!

The other day, I was really hurt by this one 'Kakak'. I was in charge for other clients, but she assumed I was in charge for her clients as well. She told me that this one client was a little bit fussy. So? What am I to do? I have my clients to attend to as well.

And I wasn't like being rude to her at all. I told her, "Kakak, siapa yang in charge sini? Saya tak in charge sini lah..."

Do you know what she did next? She intentionally said this loudly, "Aku benci betullah kerja dekat sini!"

At first, I wasn't bothered at all, because I thought she directed her anger towards someone else. So, I ignored her. Besides, I thought tak baik lah nak eavedrops orang punya conversation.

Then, she began to slam the drawers, hempas-hempas files semua, while I was still there.

I kan agak optimistic, so I thought, 'Jangan perasan that she's angry with you. Entah-entah dia marah orang lain.' I tried to coax myself not to mind her attitude. Tak baik bersangka buruk.

As I was about to leave, she called me and asked to sort out her client, and she rudely asked me to. So, memang confirm lah kan...

It's either I was really patient, or I was just too tired to acknowledge her problematic behaviour.

So, I attended the client, gave some pep-talk, and the client agreed. Tak sampai dua minit pun.

Seriously, nampak sangat 'Kakak' tu was not even trying to talk to the client. Client was agreeable after talking to me. Susah sangat ke? And she dared to throw tantrums toward me, some more.

Tapi, kerja kan ibadat. Kena ikhlas.

Mungkin, suami kakak tu baru minta cerai the day before kot. Tu pasal meroyan macam orang nak menopause. Who knows kan?

I continued to do my work, keeping quiet. Sampai rumah, I malas nak cerita dekat my boyfriend, nanti bertambah tak ikhlas dan menyakitkan hati, tapi before I went to bed, I fikir, "Patutlah kau kerja sebagai orang bawahan. With attitude like that, you will never improve."

I hate to generalize sebenarnya. Because I've had very efficient assistants before, I even adore them!

I guess, that Kakak is one rotten fruit. Busuk, basi! Good thing I don't even remember your face to hold grudges on you. Kalau tak, buat tambah dosa I je.

I hope my offsprings and I will never have that kind of attitude.