Monday, October 27, 2014

Today, I am gonna talk about my son.

I think, my son is mostly a quiet little person. You rarely hear his voice. He grunts when he wants something, knows how to cry when he doesn't get the things he want.

And when the crying happens, boy, could he cry for a very long time...So, terpaksalah pujuk or distract him.

I am always amazed that despite the lack of words, somehow I could understand him.
I think, compared to his father, I'm just a little more observant.

For example, when I look at him, I can see his eyes are fixated on something, which means he will eventually want it. So, when he starts to grunt, I know exactly what he's asking for. And now, he knows how to point at things with his index and middle fingers.

Every time I correctly guess his wants and needs, I instantly feel a rush of satisfaction, as if, we have a special bond between us (which we do!). Haha. Padahal all you need is to watch and learn his body language lah...

I remember the times when he was just learning to walk.
He fell down many times, and he picked himself up over and over again. And look at where he is now, walking, almost running and growing up healthily.
I remember thinking, my own son is reminding me about life- Never give up. You need to fall down before learning to walk. Even a baby could do it, so why can't you?

So, I hope, in the future, whenever I feel all hopeless, I would remind myself about the time my baby was learning to walk (and soon, the time when he learns how to ride a bicycle etc).

I tend to ignore him when he falls down. Simply because I think he needs to toughen up a little. Also, I realize he is usually fine when he thinks I am not watching. Kalau I tegur sikit, mulalah nak melalak. Alahai...

When we first moved back to Mother's house, he was very fascinated by the cats.
Sekarang, dia dah tak heran. Malah, kuat mengacau kucing-kucing.

Sometimes, I find scratches on his hands and legs. Tapi, tak ada pulak dia menangis pulak. Bila kucing tu cakar dia, dia buat selambe je...Memang tak serik serik.

One time, I was feeding with fish crackers. Tapi dia buang buang. So, the cats came running eating the bits off the floor. Pandai pulak si kenit tu nak dengki dengan si kucing. Dia pukul kepala kucing tu tak nak bagi makan. Dia pulak pergi kutip masuk mulut.


Last February, my colleague showed a video of her 10-month-old daughter swaying her little body while listening to the nursery rhymes. My boy was 6 months old. I remember being excited for my son to turn 10 months old so he would develop his dancing skills.

Nope. It did not happen. Yet.
Body keras kot anak I ni...

Kalau tengok Hi 5, mak dia yang terlebih excited berjoget joget. Baby K tu duduk tercegat je...
Why you no fun!

Mother said, "Cucu-cucu lain tak ada pun macam ni...Time Baby K ni, habis pasu pecah! Barang tak boleh letak rendah-rendah."

Susah sangat nak ambil a proper smiling picture. Tak reti duduk diam. Aktif betul.
Nanti I letak gambar dia okay!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Here's the chronology:

When I first found out about the I Want to Touch a Dog event, first thing that came to my mind:
What a stupid event! Why do we even need such event! I am not scared of the dogs. I love the dogs. I know what to do if I accidentally touch a wet dog. Dogs are nice like cats.
Why do we need an event specifically to touch a dog? How stupidddd...
Why so jakun one?!!!

Then, event happened. Read the stupid comments.
Here's what I think:
The dog issue has been blown out of proportion.
Only in Malaysia.

"Haram sebab pegang anjing saja-saja."

What do you mean pegang saja-saja? The event was created to promote awareness. Tolonglah jangan pendek akal. The event was created to kill the stigma among non-Muslims have toward the Muslims. They think we are dangerous, we are terrorists, we hate the dogs!

Well, you know what? Islam doesn't hate the dogs. We love and respect all animals. We just can't touch them as freely as we want.

And you know what I hate even more?

That we needed to create an event just to prove this!

Arrgghhh!!! Tarik rambut...!

"Posing with the dogs is like posing with your own shit. Because dogs are najis. Would you like to peluk cium najis sendiri?"

OMG, no wonder we just had to organize an event like that!
Because of this kind of mentality lah.

I still can't believe this is happening in Malaysia.

When I was young, Father used to bring us visit his friends, the non-Muslims, and some of them had dogs. The dogs were their pets. When we arrived, sometimes, the dogs were running freely, but they would quickly restrain them and let us into the houses.
We respected each other.

My uncle and aunt have many cats. There were dogs in the neighbourhood. My uncle and aunt feed them sebab kesian. The dogs end up guarding the house for them. My uncle and aunt doesn't let the dogs inside the house compound, but the dogs think they are their masters. Some people call animal control to catch/ shoot the stray dogs. But my uncle wouldn't let them. He even paid the animal control people to not shoot the dogs!

I thought it was normal. Aren't those things normal to you, as well?
Apparently, not, sampai kena buat event besar-besaran gitu...

You kata, you live in the city. Takkan kawan you semua Muslim? You tak ada non-Muslim friends?

You kata, you live in the kampung. Orang dekat kampung kan are usually lebih mesra and neighbourly. Kampung you tak ada non-Muslims yang bela anjing ke?

Then, I went overseas and most of the dogs are very well-behaved (they are very smart indeed). No problem there. Tak pernah pulak ada complaint, there are too many dogs in the park, therefore, I won't sit on the grass. Tak pernah pulak, saya tak mau pergi rumah orang putih tu sebab rumah dia ada anjing, dia makan babi, rumah dia ada simpan arak. Pandai pulak dekat negara orang, duduk senyap senyap.

I don't understand us, Malaysians. Why are we okay with the dogs when we are overseas, but not okay with the dogs when we are in our own country? Because we like to show who's the boss?

And we always pride ourselves for the fact we live "dalam masyarakat majmuk". Tapi kenapa tak ada toleransi? Majmuk apa ni kalau some individuals don't even have friends from other races!
(True story. I once met an Indian girl who said, "Hi! What's your name, again? It's so difficult to remember your name. I never had a Malay friend before this!" We were 25 years old)

(Oh, and I remember I wrote here about the time I went hiking. And there was a dog. My friend and I didn't mind the dog, bukannya anjing tu kacau orang pun. And the Chinese auntie was like, "You are different. You aren't like the typical Malays." I was stunned by her comment, and I thought, "Well, it shows that you don't have enough Malay friends". Now, I am ashamed and now I understand what she meant by that!)

And why must we judge people?

"Mereka yang pegang anjing tu, belum tentu pernah pegang Al-Quran dan belum tentu pernah mengusap kepala anak yatim."

This upsets me so much! Kenapa sampai sebegitu hina sekali your assumption to those who touch the dogs?

I have a friend from the Borneo, whose parents are the first generation in the family to revert to Islam, and they still have dogs. The dogs live under his kampung house.

How would he feel after reading all of your stupid comments?

And the press photos! Why do they only show photos of Muslim women in their tudungs with the dogs? Weren't there Muslim men as well? Saja je kan nak tunjuk perempuan pakai tudung dengan anjing? Saja je kan nak bagi provokasi?

I'm glad my husband is with me in this case.

And together, we will teach our children, not to be afraid of dogs. Dogs are God's creatures.
Anjing bukannya haiwan yang hina.
Yang menjadi najis itu adalah apabila ia basah.

Buat apa nak lari bila nampak anjing? Kenapa nak tergedik gedik bila nampak anjing? Ada ke mak bapak ajar anak pukul anjing? Kalau dah terkena, tak ada hal, bukannya tak ada cara nak menyucikan!

And, I wrote here before too...About hunting dogs (as quoted from a Facebook friend of mine).

"From Ibn Qayyim- Dogs generally do not have a high status in Islam. Even the saliva of a dog is najis. However, God allows hunting dogs and consumption of animals hunted by the hunting dogs. Obviously, when the hunting dogs catch the prey, the saliva of the dogs will get stuck on the prey. How would this work then?

The difference between the hunting dog (al-mukallib) and the regurlar dog is the ilm of the dog. There are three prerequisites for the dog to be al-mukallib
- when the owner tells the dog to go, it goes
- when the owner tells the dog to stop, it stops
- it doesn't eat from the prey that it catches

The only difference between a dog and a hunting dog (al-mukallib) is the knowledge, and Allah even raises a dog in status because of its knowledge. So, what about human being?

Adapted from a tazkirah by Sh Omar Suleiman."

So, yeah.
As much as I hate all the stupid comments, I also hate that we had to come to this: Create a stupid event when we don't have to in the first place!
Sayangi semua haiwan. Common sense lah weih...
Yes, we have restrictions toward the dogs, tapi tak payah lah besar-besarkan hal kecil macam ni.
I malu lah!
Please don't embarass me...Don't embarass my religion.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Hello, hello!

Setiap kali nak tulis, tiba-tiba jadi busy, or, tiba-tiba takde mood.

And I just recovered from a bad case of diarhhoea and vomiting.
Even vomited in my car and on my bed, I tell you!
Braced the symptoms for 2 days. Came to work on the third day, feeling all weak, and finally decided to see the doctor for a well-deserved MC.
Weighed myself and I am now 44kg!

OMG! Terkejut badak I!

Patutlah semua seluar dah longgar londeh.

When was the last time I weighed this much? When I was 14, maybe. It had always been around 50kg, yo-yoing between 48 to 52kg. And I was happy with that weight. My husband was very happy when I was 52kg.

Badan memang sedap-sedap gebu gebu gitu...Pipi plump and full gitu...(Or maybe because I was firmer due to the fact I was younger at that time?)

44kg tinggal tulang rangka je lah oiiii...Thank you breastfeeding, it's all your fault Baby K...

Kena makan banyak banyak.
But my appetite hasn't fully recovered yet. Lapar, memang lapar. Tapi tak lalu makan...

Oh, well...
The important thing is, thank God it was me who suffered from the infection instead of my baby!

Just now, my staff asked me, "Miss, macam mana nak jadi kurus?"

Me: Breastfeeding.
Staff: Tak ada baby lah...
Me: Anak umur berapa?
Staff: Anak umur 5 tahun.
Me: Haaa...Kena tambah lagi lah tu...
Staff: Tak ada rezeki lah, Miss...Saya dah berpisah dengan suami saya...
Me: Ooohhh...Anak duduk mana?
Staff: Anak duduk dengan suami dekat Kedah.
Me: Haaa...Jauhnya...Bila boleh jumpa?
Staff: Jumpa setahun sekali je...

Oh, sebaknya! Okay, mula-mula tak sebak sebab tak nak emo. But, when I was taking a shower just now, I kept thinking about it and it made me cry...

Like, eh, how come the child is with the husband when the mother carried the child for 9 months and gave birth to the child!

Then again, it is not really my place to judge lah. Perhaps, it is better that way. Susah jadi single mother. Lagi susah bila berjauhan dengan anak. Dah lah anak kecikkkkk lagi...

So, I doakan, agar anak my staff tu sentiasa sayang and hargai mak dia, and grow up to be understanding walaupun dapat jumpa setahun sekali je...

Ah, sedihnya...

Anyway...I tak pernah take as long as this to recover. Usually, 3 hari maksimum. Ni dah nak masuk seminggu, I am still not 100% myself.

Is there a possibility I'm pregnant?

Low. We've used precautions and it's not like we do it regularly (LDR sucks).

I can check...But I'm scared...

I'm scared if I am indeed pregnant. Am I ready?
And I'm also scared if I am not! Because I'd be disappointed. And that's why I've been delaying the pregnancy test...Esoklah okay? Tak ada masa nak pergi pharmacy nak beli the pregnancy kit lah...!

And...I'm also scared if I am pregnant and I might offend my sister who is still not pregnant yet.
We are not very close but I do care and I don't want to hurt her feelings lah okay.
I know she wants a child really bad...
She's been having medical check-ups and stuff...
And as much as I know she shouldn't be stressing too much about it because, alaaaa...Baru 2 tahun kahwin! Relax lah dulu...
But I know she couldn't help but be bothered about it (of course, because I was in her shoes before!)
And...The fact the guy who used to really fancy her and really went after her and really won Mother's heart (but not my sister's) got married and they too just had a beautiful baby and flaunting her on Facebook.
It must be difficult for my sister.

Oh. And last but not least...Bridesmaids...


So, there's this girl who's getting married and she recruited her entourage of bridesmaids...And, I so happen to know that some of her bridesmaids are, well, not worthy to become her bridesmaids.
Because, her bridesmaids don't even like this girl!

They even bad mouthed her bla bla bla...You know, that sort of things...

I didn't have bridesmaids.
Mainly because my wedding was very low-key. And, I don't have too many girlfriends...
My sister was my pengapit.

And I always thought bridesmaids are supposed to be, you know, the bride's BFF, through thick and thin!

Berlakon je semua tu eh? It's just for show?


Ataupun, my other theory is, it's a one-way relationship. The bride thinks they are her BFF, and has no idea what's going on behind her back. But, still, if you're not a hypocrite, just turn down the invitation lah kan...

I'm too old for the drama lah.

And I am never a bridesmaid! Can you believe it? A prove that I live in my own world...

Kesian pulak I rasa diri I ni...