Monday, December 26, 2011

First and foremost, I hate people who like to keep fish and birds as pets, but never provide enough space for them to swim or fly. It is depressing. Can you imagine being the trapped in a confined space for probably the rest of your life, without having your friends or families around?

If you can't afford to buy a big fish tank or build a nice birdhouse, just let them be free!

I feel pity for those fish and birds. Everyday eat the same type of food pulak tu!

Once, I went to a wedding where the table centre pieces were vases filled with goldfish. You think it's grandeur, but it was not. The fish were basically gasping for air, all of them crowding the surface of the water (the top part of the vases were narrow), it's painfully suffocating to watch.

The event planner was one of the most famous in country but I wasn't impressed. Idea dia kejam gila.

What's next?

I seem to write a lot about my friends. Macamlah I have a lot of friends. Well, actually, I do, haha. It's just that I am only close to a handful. The same people keep popping up on this blog, except that I change their names everytime, fooling you people as if I am writing about different people.

So anyway, about my friend. Well, this time, I am going to talk about Yazid.

There's something about Yazid. Everybody loves Yazid. I know at least two people who named their kids Yazid because they like Yazid so much! Yeah, Yazid is good-looking, he's smart and kind-hearted bla bla bla.

Yazid has a girlfriend. LDR (long distance relationship lah!) Sidenote: My husband calls it PJJ- percintaan jarak jauh. The first time I heard he said it, I laughed so hard, I told all my friends as if it was the biggest joke ever. Turns out, people do generally call it PJJ. I thought my husband made it up and was trying to be funny. Haha!

Yazid works in another state.

One time, he took a ride back to KL with his colleague because well, carpooling saves petrol.

After Yazid's colleague, lets call her Wahidah, dropped him off, Wahidah said "I love you" to Yazid. Yazid sudah panic, he texted me. What should I do, he asked. I said to ignore. "But what about tomorrow? We are going back together, that's a 5-hour drive!" I told him to pretend to fall asleep.

(Then he said why my solution is always to avoid. Haha. True. I always ask people to pretend to fall asleep whenever in crisis. I tak ada idea lain yang lebih creative lah!)

A few weeks later, Wahidah's body language was obvious. Yazid was becoming more nervous. Wahidah told Yazid, "I have something to tell you." Yazid avoided Wahidah's serious talk by talking about his girlfriend non-stop.

That delayed Wahidah's love confession. Instead, she took the courage to send an SMS to Yazid professing her love to him.

Yazid replied her SMS with the usual, "I am flattered but I have a girlfriend and I am already committed to her. I am sorry. Bla bla bla"

Guess how I reacted to the story?

Yazid: I really admire her guts of doing so. I have to give credits to her because even I won't do something like that.

Me: OMG! But she is so disrespectful! How come she is so overly confident? Is she pretty? Wait, does she wear tudung? I am angrier if she does!

Yazid: She's okay-looking. And yes, she wears tudung. Kenapa pula disrespectful?

Me: Because she knew you are in a relationship. She intended to break you guys up! Did she really think you would leave your girlfriend for her? Why can't she just suppress her love and wait until you guys fell out of love. Why does she have to be the reason for a broken relationship? Why is she so desperate? She could have be at least respect the fact that you are not available for the moment. What if the same thing happen to her? How would she feel, bila ada orang lain nak rampas husband you, walaupun perempuan tu tahu yang lelaki tu dah kahwin, dah ada isteri? Dia tak fikir ke semua ni?

Yazid: Emo.

Me: Mestilah! Why can't she just keep quiet about her feeling? Besides, is she crazy to fall in love with you within three months? Why does she love you so much anyway? Are you sure you didn't mislead her or anything?

Yazid: I swear, I did not! I treat her like a friend. I am nice as a friend only.

Me: Tu lah you! Baik sangat!

Yazid: -___-"

During my school days, my kakak Usrah told us,
To love somebody without anybody knowing, except for Allah, is also a form of jihad.

Tak tahu lah betul ke tak. Tapi diam itu lebih baik. Malu itu sebahagian dari Iman.

Sabar itu separuh dari Iman. Perkahwinan itu melengkapkan separuh Iman.

Dari segi penaakulan mantik, kalau dah kahwin tu, lepas tu bersabar pula, maksudnya dah lengkaplah Iman tu! (Separuh + Separuh = Satu) Simple Maths!

Haha. Pandai-pandai je I ni buat summary sendiri.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I had a false alarm today. Been late for a week, got all excited, husband is away and he sent me a message telling that he thought this is it, tapi nampaknya, panas tak berpanjangan, hujan di tengahari. Literally, I nearly wet my pants. Luckily, I brought a spare sanitary pad. Then, I told my husband and we are both sad.

I think I tend to overimagine things. Like today, I am having a very heavy menses, which is strange because I normally have, well, normal flow. I was passing out blood clots, so, I wondered whether it was actually my baby yang tak lekat.

I know, I am getting more and more obsessed.

I am trying to relax but, hey, at least I don't rant verbally to my friends. I am still playing it cool. Speaking of friends, I have two friends who recently got miscarriages. Both were their first pregnancies. Kesian.

Sometimes, people judge others, "Oh, dia dah ada anak, tu pregnant nombor tiga," and they automatically think it's okay if they lose the babies. Or, "Dhia lagi kasihan gila, they've been trying for 5 years, lepas tu gugur pula..." Well, before you say anything further, aren't all pregnancies precious?

Enough about that.

Since I am having my period now and nearly got into an accident, hmm, wardrobe malfunction, so to speak. Don't get what I mean? I bocor lah tadi! Told you it was heavy.

I remember this one time it leaked so much, I stained my ex-boyfriend's carseat. "Sorry, I bocor. Eh, nope, I banjir!" Damn embarassing.

Anyway, what I was trying to say is...Have guys ever tried using tampons?

I used to think that I would begin to use tampons after I got married. It seems more convenient. Takkan dah tua-tua nak bocor lagi kot...Konon-kononnya I wanted to reserve for a penis to penetrate my virginity first instead of a tampon lah...

(Although, I know, a tampon doesn't make you lose your virginity. It's just the fact of something going inside me scared the hell out of me.)

So...You've tried it before? I don't know when I will be converted. Guess I am not ready yet?

Moving on to penetrative issues, I still have pain when having sex. Don't know whether it's normal or not. As long as it is tolerable, then I think it's fine lah kot. Just wait until he comes. Kalau tak, just fake something and silently manouvre yourself to a more comfortable position. Problem solved.

I just realized this is quite a funny post. Look at the chain of events! From false alarm to period to miscarriages to tampons to painful sex. Aiyo.

Friday, December 16, 2011

I rarely get to spend my weekends to do the things I love.

Last weekend, fortunately, I had an ample of time which I filled with reading A Doctor In The House (yeah, still haven't finished reading the book, I am only halfway there) alternating with being online.
Online, I began to read Father's blogs again. Father had two blogs, one was dedicated for his political views, one was reserved for the general things that had happened in his ordinary life. He started to write in 2004 until before he went to Mekah for his second Hajj in 2010.

In one of his earliest posts, he wrote the purpose of his personal blog is to help his family to understand him further.

He also described himself quite accurately- a very serious person with little sense of humour and has a strong character.

Boy, I miss him. He is my Father.

Analysing his personal blog, I noticed a recurrent theme. He too, missed his father so much. He regretted for not being able to provide him with a luxurious life because at that time, he was not capable yet. But, before my grandfather passed away, Father had the chance the bring him to the best Neurologist for his treatment. My grandmother was not very happy seeing my grandfather becoming dependent on the pills though. This was because her supertitious belief. Soon, his health deteriorated and Father watched him breathed the last breathe. According to Father, my grandfather asked for Father during those critical times. When Father was near, my grandfather was not able to utter the words. That's when the Angel of Death finally cut his string of life, leaving Father wondering what was it that my grandfather wanted to say.

How it is like to be left with that kind of question, not knowing, for 10 years?

Since Father was an avid writer, I guess that is something that we have in common. Probably, it is something that runs in the family.

In his time, Father used to write numerous e-mails to The Star, especially, and a number of times, got his letters published under a pseudonym. I don't write those kinds of letters, but I used to have many blogs. Zaman dulu-dulu, the time when I had no privacy, I had to write poems so only I can understand. My niece, she's going to be thirteen next year, had written in her blog fictional stories, it's quite impressive.

Other than us three, one from each generation, I don't think anybody else in the family possess this gift.

Father also wrote about the harship he had to go through as a child. They were so poor. Every year, Hari Raya clothes only came in the form of two new school uniforms and nothing else. He always told himself he would only celebrate if he succeeded in his studies.

I admire his determination to study hard, obtain a scholarship and change his ways life. No wonder he was so careful with money.

Probably, the reason I want to get pregnant so badly, is because I want to introduce my children to Father as early as I can. I want my children to be inspired by him because Father is such a great role model. He had so many minor diplomas and degrees and he still studied even though he had retired.

Sometimes...And I know this is bad. But sometimes, I wish my husband's background were better than what it is. We are so different. We don't even share the same priority in life (even though I am starting to convert him). But sometimes, I wish I could scream at his nephews or his brothers to change their attitudes. I understand why so many were against us. But this is love.

Friday, December 9, 2011

we hate people

Do you know how it is like to hate a person for no apparent reason?
I don't like Reese Witherspoon. But, I know it's because she and Ryan Philippe got a divorce, and other than that, she just seems too perfect to me.

Anyway, my friend, Ben hates Ella so much, it's funny. I became his official dumping site of hatred towards this woman. Whenever he is annoyed by her, he would text me at random time, just to tell me what annoying thing she had done now. Why me? Because I happen to know Ella who is a friend of a friend of a friend (you get what I mean) and Ella works with Ben.

At first, Ben denied the fact that Ella had done nothing wrong and he simply hates her.

Ben: I don't hate her for no reason! She is very annoying. Annoying and irritating! It's her attitude that makes me hate her so much.

Me: Like what? Tell me.

Ben: I don't know. It's the things she says. She's like, trying too hard. Like she tries to make a joke, but it's not funny at all and she thinks she's cool.

Me: You know, Ben. I really think she's one of the people whom a person like you, hates for no apparent reason. It's okay. Because sometimes, we do hate some people for no reason. I understand. It reminds me of the time Hani hated Rina for no reason. Rina had never done anything wrong to Hani, they even barely talked to each other! But Hani hated her so much.

Ben: I hate her because of a reason! I just don't know what is the actual reason yet.

Well, over time, it became obvious that Ben hates Ella for reasons-we-don't-know-yet.

Last week, Ben texted me:

OMG, I am in this lunch-talk and Ella sits next to me. She took two pieces of chicken just now! Everybody else just took one. Such a greedy bitch.

I replied his text:
Laa...What is wrong with you! Biarlah dia ambil dua ketul ayam. Ayam tu tak cukup ke untuk orang lain? Hahaha...Sibuk je you tengok apa dia makan!

I really hate her lah. I really cannot stand whatever she does or says. And I know I wouldn't have any problem if other people do, but when she does it, it's so wrong in my eyes! Help, she wants to do small-talk with me now.

Hahaha...You ni, berlakon je lebih. Dekat Facebook, I always see her commenting on your page. Maybe she likes you.

No! Besides, I kenalah berlakon berbaik-baik dengan dia, she is my colleague okay...

Damn funny, right. Pasal ayam pun boleh jadi isu.

Selama ni, I thought girls je yang kena handle isu remeh temeh ni.
Or, is Ben secretly gay? (Ponders)


Speaking of hating people, I haven't been hating anybody for so long, up until recently.

You guys know I am in a new working environment.
There's this woman whom I am not keen of so much.

What a small world, she used to be Jake's classmate.

Jake never warned me about her though. One day, I decided to complaint about her to Jake. Then only, Jake confessed, that he too was not very fond of her when they were classmates!

Thank God, I thought it was just me!
It's hard to explain.

She likes to complaint a lot, as if she is the only righteous person in the whole world. She likes to pass-over her work to me. She sometimes gets angry unnecessarily, although her anger is not towards me, but I find her a bit Mak Nenek. And once she talks, she likes to prolong her story and make everyone listen! It's painful. And she's getting fat. She just found her about her pregnancy and it becomes an excuse for her to take emergency leave, become lazy, avoid extra work, eat a lot junk...

(OMG, I am no different than Ben because I mind what she eats!)

She's proud of her husband.

She: Pagi tadi, rasa malas sangat nak pergi kerja. Lepas tu my husband cakap, kalau malas, ambillah emergency leave. I cakap, tak boleh. Lepas tu husband I cakap, apa salahnya, sehari je nak rehat-rehat dekat rumah.

She would repeat same story a few times in a week. (And finally, she did take the emergency leave)

I wish I could tell her, my husband is obviously better than your husband because...

Situation: In bed, early morning.

Me: Malasnya nak bangun! Tak nak kerja!
My husband: Yang...Yang kena bangun juga. Tak baik malas-malas. Kena semangat pergi kerja. Kena rajin. (Then my husband would kiss me for encouragement to start my busy day)

And that's the kind of husband I am proud of. (Love)

Monday, November 28, 2011

My friend posted something interesting on Facebook.

Something that goes like, "There are 3 great apples that change this world. The forbidden apple Eve made Adam eat, the apple that fell on Sir Isaac Newton, and the Apple created by Steve Jobs."

Terus I rase nak beli anything Apple just because I want to be a part of something great. Haha, poyo! Mudahnya terpengaruh...

Mark, my travel partner, went to New Zealand without me knowing, so I am like, "Why didn't you tell me?!!!"

Mark: Because you are married.
Me: That's not an excuse! I haven't even been to a honeymoon yet!
Mark: You want to go for your honeymoon with me?
Me: Nooo!!! It's perfect because I can bring my husband and you'd be there to take our photos! Hahahaha...!

I really hate the fact that being married changes how a friendship works.

Hani: You know, maybe, the reason you are pregnant yet is because you haven't gone for a honeeymoon yet. So, go on, go get the mood going!
Me: Pandai ah you buat theory...
Hani: No, really, that's what my dad said...
Okay, so now everybody is talking about my childless marriage eh?

My friend, let's call him Patrick, found out about his father's other wife last year during a vacation overseas. According to Patrick, his father's naughty habit was no secret but he never thought his father would go that far. It hurt him because despite being the first-born, he was the last to know, and his younger siblings seemed indifferent about it. He never found out more about it because ignorance is bliss. He'd rather not acknowledge the fact that his father is polygamous.

This year, he bumped into his father's car in a condominium compound, in a different state!

What a coincidence, eh?

He wanted to play detective.

Me: Eh, I thought his other wife lives in another country? What happened?
Patrick: I don't know...And I don't know whether this is a new woman, or the same wife he brought back.
Me: You know, since everybody in the family knows about it, why don't you just ask him straight?
Patrick: There's no fun in that! Besides, we don't really talk about it.

It's funny at this age, we still feel excited about things like this.

But in the end, of course, the stake-out did not happen because we have too many other important things to do.

I still remember, about 10 years ago, my friend bumped into her uncle doing dirty dancing with a woman half his age in a club. Can you imagine seeing that?

I always talk to Patrick about how modernisation has made the marriage institution less sacred. How it has become widely acceptable in the society, that it is normal to fall in and out of love just like that.

It's sad. I wish to elabprate more on this but this is a sensitive topic. I mean, there are always two sides of a story and who am I to judge?

All I can say is, Kim Kardashian, why!!!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

I sometimes envy those people who get to live abroad.

Me? I live in a rural area. I rasa otak I tak berkembang macam ni!

Earlier on, my husband used to apologize to me for bringing me here. But, he no longer does it. Maybe he thinks I am now okay with it.

I am not. Well, at least not now.

One time, we got into a fight because of something small. But do you know how it is like when you suddenly explode? I poured out everything like a volcano.

At that time, my husband had said really hurtful things to me. But, I guess, he was hurt too.

Hey, who would have thought sacrificing, and going through the ups and downs, particularly, together, are actually difficult in practical?

We made up, as usual, like couples do.

Two days after, I received an SMS from Mother. "How are you? I heard the water is bad, scary looking even. Don't use the tap water, buy mineral water instead."

I showed it to my husband and he said like mother, like daughter, and we laughed it off.

See, I am not the only one who's being a diva here! It proves that my concerns are not crazy.

I had a rat in my shoes the other day. Can you imagine, early in the morning, not expecting anything, and suddenly when I was just about to slip my feet into my shoes, a rat came running out from it?!

I swear the rat had bitten my finger a bit. I cried on the way to work. My husband found it amusing. He said it was a frog. Like that would make it any better!

The only consolation despite all this is my husband.

He's been great. He treats me like a princess, me likey, but at night, he treats me like a bolster.


Are all husbands like this?

I need my space when I sleep, but he likes to hug and caress me. He has this habit that his skin must touch mine, as if I would disappear if he lets go. Then, whenever he feels like it, he would put his legs across my body and tightly squeeze me. I feel like a helpless doll.

As much as he interrupts my sleep, making me annoyed and irritated, I could feel the love.


Wednesday, November 9, 2011


I just spent hours surfing blogs because, you know, I was out of civilisation for a month!

Basically, I am now based at a new workplace. It's different than the old one. From being the only Muslim in the whole department to ---> ALL Muslims in the entire department (who hold the same job position as mine).

I have so much to write, actually. But as usual, currently I am all blank.

What's new?

I am still not pregnant. (Rolls eyes)
You see, I have this weird obsession that I just have to give birth at the end of the year. I don't want my child to be born from January to June.

I don't want them to be old in their classes. That's why I just need to get pregnant now and be safe from having due dates in the early year!

How does it feel like to give birth? I imagine it like having to shit out really hard and big stool. Man, that's painful. I'd rather have diarrhoea than passing out hard shit. But whenever I'm having those painful episodes in the toilet, I treat it as a practise for my future giving birth experience. Talk about the ultimate optimism...

Okay, I'll stop being disgusting.

Mother...Mother is into iPad now ever since my brother introduced it to her. Come on, she is a grandMother and her oldest grandchild is a tween now. She said she could read the Quran with it and it can zoom in and out with just a touch awayyy..."So convenient," she said.

Mother: Belilah satu...Bukan mahal sangat pun...Seribu lebih je...

Sure, if it is not THAT expensive, why don't you buy me one, Mother...?

Haha, she sounded like me when I was younger, asking for a new gadget!

Like always, I ask, why can't I be richer!

I am grateful with what I have but I wonder how can other people afford things I could not afford when they earn as much, or probably, less than me! Don't they have bills to pay? Or savings for rainy days?

Anyway, I am using up my free time to hang out with my favourite people.

Met a friend and asked him who's his latest scandal.

He said he went clubbing with a girl and her friends, one of them is a doctor. The doctor was so drunk, that when it's time to leave, he got aggressive and refused the others from touching his carkeys. My friend and the two girls got pretty scared to ride with him, so, they simply took a cab and left him.

I was like, "What the hell! What kind of friends are you! How could you just leave him there! It's so dangerous!"

And the funny part is, the doctor could not recall a single thing. The next day, he asked, "What happened last night?" and they lied to him, "Oh, we don't know. You just left without telling us, so, we ended up taking the cab home..."

The doctor completely fell for that! And he said, "I am surprised that I got home safely, even though there are a lot of scratches on my cars..."

It made me so angry because

1) You are a doctor, you should know NOT to exceed your limit when it comes to alcohol. Especially when you are driving, you idiot!

2) My friend's mother got killed by a drunk driver and my colleague got killed because everyone was drunk in the car.

3) How could you leave your drunk friend like that! He could have been mugged and beaten up and abducted and his organs could have been sold!

Stop drinking, will ya! You are too old for that...

Sunday, September 25, 2011

I probably prefer to write in point form. Random thoughts again...

I have a friend, Elizabeth. She's pretty, rich, smart...And she can be cocky at times. But she is married to our good friend, Hadi, so sometimes, we have to put up with her, whether we like it or not. Being the usual good people that we are, we always give her chances to prove that our perception towards her is wrong.

So, I met Vicky, who works in the same place as Elizabeth.

Me: Dah lama tak jumpa Hadi. Dia tak ajak ke pergi raya rumah dia? You know, if I were him, living in a nice condominium, I would have invited my friends over all the time. It's nice, what...
Vicky: Oh, semalam Hadi ada ajak jumpa. Tapi I busy semalam. And you know lah, his wife, Elizabeth tu...
Me: What's with her?
Vicky: Everytime I would like to think that she is a normal person, she will do these things that repel me.

And therefore, Vicky told me about what Elizabeth did.

To cut story short, Vicky likes to drop big, big names in their conversations.

For example:
"Eh, who is his father? Which powerful man? I mean, I am sure my father knows his father. Especially if his father was in so-and-so department. Because they are all invited to my wedding. Tan Sri Aziz? No, can't be. Tan Sri Firdaus? Can't be. Tan Sri Danial? Tan Sri Mahathir?"

And, being the typical me, I like to give people like Elizabeth my benefit of doubt.

Vicky's father is also a rich, famous, powerful person. So, I told Vicky, Elizabeth probably behaves that way around Vicky because they probably know the same people.

I said, "Maybe, Elizabeth tahu, yang you guys come from a similar background. So, Elizabeth ingat, it's okay. Maybe she thinks you would understand and not be offended. I mean, kalau dia cakap macam tu dekat I, mestilah I rasa dia berlagak gila. So, around me, she has to be extra humble. Tapi kalau dia cakap macam tu dekat you, maybe she thinks you wouldn't judge her. Sebab you guys experience more or less the same things."

Do you get what I mean?

Elizabeth may not be aware of this. Perhaps, she thinks she was having an innocent conversation with someone who is at the same par as her.
She must be stupid/ crazy to say those things to someone like me, because I am obviously not as privileged as them, it would have sounded like she intended to make me feel small.

Vicky: I know lah her father is a somebody, but does she have to make it obvious? The most annoying part is, she tells people about it, but, at the same time, she doesn't them to know whose daughter she is. She keeps them guessing. In the end, people come up to me to find out what famous person her father is.

In the end, I change and fixate my mind.

I guess, Elizabeth is probably that type of person, afterall.
You know, the You-want-people-to-know,-but-not-know,-but-you-still-want-them-to-know-from-other-people kinda person.

Am I making any sense here!

I was filling up my time with my hobby- blog hopping- when I stumble upon this one blog by Miss Jamilah.

Miss Jamilah is a nice, married woman with one child. Her husband, Mr. Kamil, studied in *Planet Pluto. (I obviously can't name the place when he got his education to protect their privacy, duh)

As far as I know, there are only a handful of Malaysians who ever went to *Planet Pluto to further their study. I know only two, one is my husband's friend, Jay, (whom I have never met, by the way) and the other is Jay's housemate.

Me: Abang, abang ingat tak kawan abang yang pernah study dekat *Planet Pluto tu?
Him: Kenapa?
Me: Apa nama dia?
Him: Nama dia Jay.
Me: Dia tinggal mana sekarang?
Him: Sekarang tinggal dekat Puncak Alam. Kenapa?
Me: I ada jumpa satu blog ni. Husband dia pun pernah study dekat *Planet Pluto jugak. Tapi nama dia Mr. Kamil. And dia tinggal dekat KL. Salah orang kot...
Him: Oohhh...I kenal Mr. Kamil tu! Dia dulu housemate Jay dekat *Planet Pluto tu...

I was very impressed by Mr. Kamil. He's handsome and super rich! And by the way his wife describes him as, he sounds like a really nice person.

Him: Memang Mr. Kamil tu budak baik pun...
Me: Rumah dia besar tau, Abang...Ada swimming pool! Sebelum dia kahwin pun dah ada swimming pool. Senang je wife dia, lepas kahwin, kemas beg pindah rumah. Rumah cantik pula tu!
Him: Ala, bapa dia kaya...
Me: Ye lah, but it is still very impressive. Can you imagine, even as a bachelor, he lives in a house with a swimming pool!
Him: Abang tahu, Abang pernah pergi rumah dia dulu...

Contoh rumah Miss Jamilah and Mr. Kamil. Source: Google

As usual, my husband already knew where this was heading to...Hehehe...

Me: Why can't you be like that? Why can't I have a husband like that. I tahulah Abang pernah cerita pasal dia dulu dekat I, he's rich and all, but I didn't know he was also good looking! How come you never introduce me to your rich, good looking friends before we got married?

(Okay, this sounds like an isteri derhaka in the making. But trust me, I was only teasing my husband. A very mean game.)

Him: Mr. Kamil tu tak kayalah. Bapa dia yang kaya. He's the type yang masuk office, goyang kaki je...
Me: I don't care. He owns three very expensive cars. He flies overseas all the time. Dia lelaki yang jenis suka duduk rumah to spend time with his family. And he buys nice things for his wife.
Him: Well, memanglah dia baik. Masa dia study dekat *Planet Pluto dulu, Jay tak payah bayar sewa rumah pun. Mr. Kamil yang settle kan. Kadang-kadang, dia tinggalkan je credit card atas meja, so housemates dia boleh guna beli groceries. Tapi I respect sangat pada dia. Do you know why?

"Why?" I asked.

"Because he was born rich. Dia tak pernah hidup susah. I lebih suka kalau seseorang tu pernah hidup susah, kemudian dia jadi berjaya. Ataupun kalau dia memang datang dari keluarga mewah, tapi dia bina kerjaya dia sendiri. Barulah inspiring..." my husband explained.

Eleh, orang jealous memang cakap macam tu nak sedapkan hati sendiri...Hehehe...

Abang, bila Abang nak kaya ni!!!

That night, I went to sleep thinking how nice it would be if we were rich.

I know if I were, I won't be spending the cash on designer items. I'd be more than satisfied if I were to have a nice, permanent house in a strategic location (because I want to start decorating my own house and never to move again), a nice, loan-free car and one whole year, at least, to not worry about work and thinking on how to generate money, but to travel around the world and do the things I love instead!

I asked the same question to my husband, what would do if you were rich?

"Abang nak pergi travel to Japan and Brazil. Tengok fashion show dekat Milan and New York," was his answer.


Slaps forehead.

That is my husband's life long dream? Really!

Me: Abang ni, macam perempuan lah! Buat ape nak pergi tengok fashion show?
Him: Sebab Abang suka fashion lah...Milan tu kan capital city of fashion...

Seriously. (Rolls eyes)

Friday, September 23, 2011

My husband is sick all the time! Resdunglah, demamlah, selsemalah, sakit belakanglah, peninglah, migraine lah...Seriously, I feel like strangling him sometimes, because I am the healthiest person I know! I don't fall sick easily, I can even drink the rain water and nothing will happen to me.

I always tell him that his genes are bad. I seriously hope my children won't be inheritting his health issues.

Me: I harap anak I tak macam you. Sikit-sikit nak sakit. Eee, tak sanggup I nak jaga. Mengada-ngada betul. Macam mana mak you tahan eh?
Him: Mak I pun terkejut I ni masih hidup. Nasib baik tak mati.
Me: What the hell! Your mother really said that to you?
Him: Ha'ah. Mak I kata it's a miracle. I asyik sakit je...


Me: Malasnya nak kerja!
Him: Tak boleh malas-malas. Kena kerja jugak.
Me: Kenapa tak boleh malas pulak! Suka hati I lah nak malas.
Him: Sebab...Nanti rezeki susah nak masuk. Tuhan akan beri rezeki kepada orang yang rajin berusaha.

Some people are so inconsiderate and make other people's lives miserable. Like my boss, who wanted me to transfer to another place and gave me only a 5-day notice.

I tried to reason with him, but he said my excuses were unacceptable.

(My car is in the workshop, I don't have a place to stay, and I haven't completed the papers required yet)

My husband, on the other hand, wants me to comply, in order to avoid unnecessary consequences in the future.

Him: Apa yang susah sangat. You ikut je.
Me: No! Benda ini tak adil!
Him: Dunia ni memang tak adil, sayang.
Me: This is not about me following orders. This is about my boss being stupid. He thinks just because he's in that position, he can play me around like a puppet. Habis tu, I kena turut je cakap dia walaupun it's ridiculous? Kenapa kita mesti biarkan orang-orang macam ni!
Him: Sayang, kadang-kadang, dalam dunia ni, kita tak boleh selalunya menang. Ada masa, kita kena kalah juga. Think about the future and what he can do to you.
Me: I bukannya nak menang. Tapi benda ni salah!
Him: I know. Tapi kita tak ada kuasa.


I am so upset because this thing has caused a huge stress on me.

I redha je. Kalau lepas ni, dia nak mark I, then do nasty things to me, well, I hope he dies soon.

Perjalanan hidup kita ni dah ditentukan.
But we can still pray.
And Allah always answer a prayer:
- Yes
- Not now
- I have better things for you

One day, my boss will taste his own medicine. Barulah dia tahu apa perasaan orang-orang yang dianiaya.


Friend: Sekarang ni ramai orang pakai colour-colour macam ni kan.
Me: It's called 'Colour blocking'.
Friend: 'Colour blocking'? Apa benda yang dia nak block?
Me: Hahaha...'Blocking' as in one block, two blocks...Bukannya blocking from something lah!

Jikalau...If I earn RM3000 per month, how am I supposed to spend my money monthly?


Car- 500
House- 1000
Tabung Haji- 100
ASB- 100
Banking- 100
Parents- 300
Phone- 50
Electricity, water, petrol- 200
Everyday expenditure- 650

Wow, dapat simpan dalam bank RM100 je per month! That's like, less than 10% of the salary la weih!
But actually, not bad. People can still survive!
In theory memang cukup, tapi practically kenapa tak cukup pulak eh?

And what about those who has children to feed? OMG!

I was having lunch at a restaurant. There, I was introduced to an Ustadz, I think he's from Kedah, and I like the way he gives his speech.

So effortless and interesting. My friend said, sometimes, he sings too!

The preach I was listening to was: Something about how we should enjoy our life and not to love this temporary world too much.

Dia cakap kena nikmati hidup, barulah kita rasa kita ni kaya.

Which, I think, is true.

"Kalau tak ada anak, kena enjoy tak ada anak. Ingat ada anak tu senang ke? Nanti anak lelaki ikut perempuan. Pening kepala mak bapak. Zaman sekarang ni, anak perempuan pun ikut perempuan! Tak payah nak jealous, tak payah nak risau, kenapa aku tak ada. Apa yang Tuhan kurniakan tu, adalah satu nikmat, dan enjoylah nikmat yang Tuhan bagi tu selagi boleh."

"Korang kata tak suka datang masjid, sebab kasut selalu hilang. Sayang sangat dekat kasut tu buat apa? Tak payah beli kasut. Datang masjid berkaki ayam. Nescaya tak ada kasut yang hilang. Kalau sayang sangat kasut, siap beli beg, beli mangga, beli macam-macam nak jaga kasut tu. Tak ke membazir? Kasut tu sekejap je. Tak boleh bawa pergi mati pun..."

"Kalau motor hilang, jangan sedih sangat. Sebab itu tandanya kita nak dapat pengganti yang lebih bagus dari yang hilang tu. Kalau motor kita tu buruk, tapi kita sayang sangat nak jual. Bila dah hilang, kita ada alasan nak beli yang baru. Kan nikmat tu! Dapat motor baru, enjin bagus. Allah gantikan dengan sesuatu yang lebih baik."

I don't know what's his name though.

I realized that different states produce different marriage certificate.

Terengganu, for example, prints the husband and wife photos on the cert.

Mine, no photos, but a valuable detail was included, which I very much cherish

Perkahwinan: Pertama
Isteri: Pertama

Me: Abang! Tengok ni, dia ada tulis, "Perkahwinan pertama, Isteri pertama." Nasib baik! Kalau I tengok I ni bukan pertama, siaplah you!
Him: Tak percaya ke abang belum pernah kahwin sebelum ni?
Me: Mana tau, you tipu I ke...Patutlah orang Pantai Timur banyak kahwin banyak eh...Dekat sijil diorang takde tulis pun benda-benda macam ni...

On first of Syawal, my husband refused to have sex with me.

Penat-penat puasa lama-lama, tiba-tiba he said no. Dengan alasan,

"Abang ada terbaca dalam satu buku ni, kalau anak tu terjadi masa hari pertama Syawal, tak bagus..."

Buku mana pulak dia baca ni!

Is there really such thing?

Last but not least.

My cousin is getting married to a Muallaf.

She's so lucky because her Tok Kadi is so damn cool!

"Tak apa. Awak nikah dulu. Yang surat-surat, kursus kahwin tu semua buat nanti."

Oh, my God, I love you, Tok Kadi. I wish I had you during my nikah ceremony! Bless you forever!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

The weekend is meaningless if it's without fun plans, or without my husband.

(Long sigh.)

I still haven't gone for my honeymoon. Some overly romantic people would say, "We don't need honeymoon, because we are on our honeymoon right now, 127 days and counting," and end the sentence with a smooch.

Well, truthfully, I don't consider living with my husband as a honeymoon. I want a luxurious one, one that makes me feel like a princess in love. Right now, we are having our ups and downs. And I want to feel how is it like to sleep in a room that costs RM1300 per night!

(Stomp feet like a brat)

I really don't understand some people. They have the same profession like me, but somehow they can afford all the nice things in life. Where have I gone wrong?! I nak makan luar mahal-mahal pun rasa guilty and berkira tau. I am so green in envy!

My husband says, "Sebab you pakai duit sendiri masa kahwin hari tu..."

Aik? Takkan orang lain tak keluar duit kot...

Tak apalah, rezeki masing-masing...

Okay, lets reminiscence the days before I got married. Compared to me, my husband (then boyfriend) had more fun shopping for the hantarans.

Whenever he bought something, he'd get discounts and free gifts. Then, he would gloat to my face, complimenting his bargaining skills.

One incident took place in this shop, where I was buying for his hantaran. He tried on the pants and admired himself. The salesperson was a cute boy. I was quiet all the time because I don't do small talks with strangers. Then, the salesboy asked me, "You tak suka apa-apa ke? Taknak beli?" I said, no thanks.

Then, it was time to pay. We were lucky because the item was on sale and the salesboy threw a Seven For All Mankind t-shirt for free.

Boy: Ni adik abang ke? (Referring to me) Adik taknak beli apa-apa?

So, he thought I was my husband's sister! And the salesboy was hitting on me! Is that why he was being so nice and all?

My husband left the shop feeling very offended, "I beli barang mahal-mahal, and dia ingat you ni adik I! Dia tak tahu ke you ni tunang I hah!"

HAHAHAHAHA, serve you right!


Anyway, what I was trying to remind myself is: The buying for hantarans experience has taught me that, I don't really enjoy buying expensive stuffs. I am more into liking the feeling of being able to afford for expensive things. Different.

Like, "Hey, I actually have the money to buy that, that and that. I don't buy them just because I don't like the way they are priced! Thousands of bucks for this? You've got to be kidding me!"

Although, my husband still bought me a designer handbag for one of my wedding gifts.

Being practical, I actually suggested for cheaper brands. But my husband got all upset which confused me. In the mall, we were fighting,

Me: Beli je lah handbag XYZ tu. Cantik jugak...Murah pulak tu.
Him: Kenapa pulak? I kan dah janji nak beli handbag ABC untuk you.
Me: Tapi handbag ABC tu mahallah!
Him: I ada duit nak beli untuk you!
Me: Kenapa dengan you ni? Kalau laki lain mesti dah bersyukur sebab dapat girlfriend yang memahami macam I.
Him: I bukan macam lelaki lain. I dah janji kan nak belikan handbag ABC untuk you. Kenapa sekarang you taknak pulak?
Me: Sebab I taknak membebankan you lah! Kalau orang lain, mesti gembira sebab I minta handbag murah. Duit lebih tu boleh guna untuk benda lain.

Him: Masalahnya, I dah simpan duit sebab nak belikan handbag ABC untuk you. I tau you nak sangat handbag tu dulu. I bukan macam lelaki lain. I nak you happy. Masa I kumpul duit ni, I happy sangat sebab akhirnya, dapat belikan untuk you. Sekarang you taknak pulak. I frust lah. Habis, I kumpul duit ni untuk apa? Untuk beli handbag yang you tak suka?

I went, "Awww..." upon hearing his explaination.

Me: I suka jugaklah handbag XYZ tu...

Him: I nak you beli ABC jugak! Baru I puas hati duit yang I kumpul selama ni, dapat guna untuk beli handbag yang you suka!

My heart melted.

(Okay, I feel like hugging my husband now. Haha)

I don't think I am good-looking.
I don't think my husband is good-looking.
I don't think my husband has the best taste in women.

I mean, whenever I see a pretty lady in the magazine, I would ask him, "Cantik kan dia ni?"
He would disagree and point to another lady.
Then I would think, "Euwww...Perempuan macam ni you kata cantik? Dia ni buruklah!"

And the things I say would reflect back on me. Because, basically, I am saying, if he thinks I am pretty, I must be one ugly girl in my eyes...

Him: Sayang, tadi I jumpa seorang pakcik ni. Dia panggil I dari jauh. I pun datanglah. Ingatkan dia nak bagi projek ke...Tengok-tengok dia tanya pasal you.
Me: Ha? Dia tanya apa?
Him: Dia cakap, isteri abang ni cantik, body lawa. Dekat mana jumpa? Gatal betul orang tua tu!
Me: Dia pernah nampak I ke?
Him: Dia ada datang masa kenduri hari tu...

The only perk of this is his taste is similar with his friends'. Is it because they come from the same place that their idea of beauty is so off?

I mean, come on, if I was really that beautiful, wouldn't I be chased by many men? Wouldn't I have only girl friends because every guy friend I have would have fall in love with me and make things complicated? Wouldn't I be approached by modelling agencies? Wouldn't I be showered with gifts by rich guys? Wouldn't I be stalked?

Oh, I know why. Because they are all older than me. And old men automatically thinks the younger you are, the prettier. (No wonder people mistakenly think I am my husband's sister)

Oh, well, bersyukur je lah dapat husband who thinks I am all that. Love is blind...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


I have been separated from my old colleagues since joining the new department. Some of us are leaving to other states. Last Monday was kinda like a get-together thing before the day comes.

I was in my jeans when I received a call from my friend, Gina.
"Peter is on his way to pick you up. What? You are wearing jeans? You are supposed to dress up, dear. Go change into a dress, now!"

Ade dress code pulak dah...

Anyway, glad to find out that most of them quit drinking!

After a few months of being busy with our own work, we finally had the chance to catch up with one another.

The waitress arrived with our food. You know, a good restaurant is supposed to know what you ordered and put the correct food accordingly, not by asking the whole table, "Caesar salad?" and you have to raise your hand like you are a kid in a classroom.

Exactly what happened that night. The waitress didn't know whose food was that. Then, when my friend confirmed that it's hers, she tried to serve my friend from across the table (of eight people!), like, so freaking idiotic, it's so dangerous, the big, hot plate can fall on our heads.

My friend, Cynthia, snapped, "Oh, my God, she's never been trained to be a proper waitress, is it? How can you serve food like that!"

We were shocked to hear her comment. Firstly, it was nothing subtle about it, I am sure the waitress could hear it. Secondly, she was never the mean type, in fact, she's probably the most innocent and kindest among us.

I looked at my friend and giggled about it. Peter said, "That's how she is in the department, being a boss now. So, don't you mess with her!"

Waaahhh, number one.

We had a good time. We also surprised Peter and Cynthia with a birthday cake.

Then, it was time to say goodbye. We asked for the bill but it took more than 10 minutes when they were only four tables left in the restaurant.

Gina lost her patience after two requests for the bill (that took forever) and one of the waiters came by our table to announce that the kitchen was closing so, "Any last order?" he asked.

Gina snapped at him, "We are actually waiting for our bill. Why is it taking so long? You wanna give us a free dinner, is it?" and gave him her best poker-face look.

Waaahhh, number two.

Sejak naik pangkat ni, semua orang dah change a bit. Meaner and bossier.

I wish I can lead people. I need to. But, I am too soft. I give face all the time. I cannot raise my voice to express my anger or disappointment. Dengan my husband je boleh, hehe. And I still go back later than my juniors. I am still being bullied!

I want to change this personality. How to naik pangkat lagi dan lagi kalau orang asyik pijak kepala kita je kan?

Actually, I don't like this department that I am currently being in charge of.

The only secret reason I came, is because I am the only Muslim with the position in that department. Macam kesian la pulak tengok department tu kena conquer dengan non-Muslims when I am actually in a Muslim country.

I repeatedly told myself that it's my duty as a Muslim, to fulfill the Fardhu Kifayah.

Sometimes, I wonder, don't other people realize that they carry a responsibility to represent Muslims in areas where Muslims are scarce, especially where no other Muslim is involved?

I have been waiting for more Muslims to enter the department, but so far, all of them requested to transfer to other department because they are not interested. Eh, I pun tak interested, tapi ku korbankan juga sebab tu kan tanggungjawab Fardhu Kifayah? Korang kan lagi alim, ilmu agama tinggi-tinggi, pakai tudung, takkan tak perasan peliknya takde Muslim dekat situ? Semua nak berkumpul ikut gang-gang je ye...

This situation reminds me of my college days. For the second half of the study year, most students dropped some subjects, in order to concentrate more in certain subjects so to obtain good marks in the final exam.

Although half of the class was made up by Muslims, only three Muslims, me included, decided to continue that one or two particular subjects that the rest of them thought were so burdening to them.

Damn sad...

Tak tahu lah memang pemalas ke, opportunists ke, kaki mengelak ke, peer pressure ke, or memang bengap tak dapat carry subjects banyak-banyak (padahal bukan banyak sangat pun) sedangkan orang lain boleh je buat...

This kind of mentality should change.

Kita orang Islam, ada Fardhu Ain, ada Fardhu Kifayah. Dua-dua pun wajib kena buat.

Patutnya, kena ceburkan diri dengan bidang yang tak ramai orang Islam. Bukannya cakap, "Eh, tanaklah pergi sana. Semua Mat Salleh je. Susah nanti."

God, please help me.

I preach to you all, to be brave and adventurous. Jangan jadi katak di bawah tempurung.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

I have a friend, lets call her Kate. We are close, but there's always a barrier between us that cannot be broken. She built it and she guards it.

Kate is a person who has many groups of friends, but unlike me, she keeps them separated. I still remember how I used to get hurt because she liked to leave me behind when she had plans with her other friends. The thing is, I had nobody else at that time, so sometimes, I felt lonely when she did this. I told myself that I cannot become her bestfriend, because a bestfriend won't treat you like this. (Besides, I don't believe in having a bestfriend, I don't like to rate my friends and label who's best or second best, it's childish.)

Now that we are back on our motherland, I don't mind her doing it at all. I am not lonely anymore, yeay!

We are still keeping in touch and I mostly know what she has been up to. But a recent event made her keep a distant from the rest of us. You see, Kate is now seeing someone who doesn't like it when she tells too much. And we respect that.

One of Kate's sibling got married. Our friend, Jack, questioned why we weren't invited. When Jack's brother got married, he invited us to come, when Ivy's sister got married, we attended the wedding. It's what friends do. Jack thinks it's odd.

Since I was the 'closest' to Kate, they came to me to ask, but I wasn't invited either.

Serena: Do you think she forgot to invite us?
Me: She must have a reason not to invite. Oh, you know Kate. She always has secrets and all...
Serena: Yeah, I know. She and her secrets.
Me: Did you see the wedding photos?
Serena: I did.
Me: Did you see anything different?
Serena: Like what?
Me: Do you know how we always suspect that she has more family members than she told us? It's confirmed. Maybe that's why she didn't let us come. She doesn't want us to know.

Why did we have that kind of suspicion? It's like a jigsaw puzzle, to have to put all pieces together to see the bigger picture.

Our friend, Fatin, who was like a sister to Kate, always complained that she couldn't view Kate's photos in Facebook. Fatin lives abroad, so, it was important for her that she was being updated regarding our activities because she wouldn't want to be left behind.

Kate told me, the reason she keeps them private is because her aunts and uncles are on Facebook too. Sometimes, her friends tag inappropriate pictures of her, so she doesn't want the elderly to see them.

The two of them are no longer talking to each other, but that's a different story altogether.

Now, that I've seen her brother's wedding photos, via her sister's Facebook page, (because I can't view photos on her page, remember) I begin to understand.

Their cousin, tagged Kate and her siblings, and also, some other boys and girls who happen to have similar names and their father has the same name, too, all wearing the same colour baju kurung and baju melayu.

That's the downside of naming your children Nurul Atikah, Nurul Afikah, Nurul Asyafikah, Nurul Athirah, Mohd Ikmal, Mohd Iqbal, Mohd Irfan, Mohd Ifran etc.

When I first met Kate, I thought she was just like me, coming from an average family.

Me: I think the government should give scholarships to deserving students. Sometimes, even though the kid is smart, gotten all As and everything, but if his or her family could afford it, why would they be given a scholarship? Better give it to someone who is smart AND poor, so the kid can improve his or her life, right? I really hate those who use their family connections just to get a scholarship when it's so clear that they don't even need it.

Kate: No, I don't think so. As long as that person is smart, he or she should be granted with a scholarship.

Me: But that's unfair. The government couldn't give scholarships to just everyone. Besides, rich people always have the advantages to be better than the poor students in term of studies. They can go to tuitions and they don't have to walk to go to schools, they study in schools where the good teachers are...

A few weeks after we landed in the foreign country, I found out her father transferred a 5-figure number worth of RM into her bank account, reserved only for travels, leisures and emergencies.

No wonder she was so offended.

Kate: We have to make sure my sister get a scholarship.
Me: Why? Your father can afford it even if she didn't get it.
Kate: Ectopy, I come from a big family. Even though my father is rich, tapi I banyak adik beradik.
Me: What do you mean? He only has 6 children! (And he still gives you guys thousands of ringgit per person, per month!)

Kate always tells us that she has 2 sisters and 3 brothers.

Sometimes, there will be extra people in the house. Who are they? The answers would always be different.

Sometimes, it would be, "These are my cousins."

Some other times,
"This is my Adik." Eh, but I thought you said you have 3 brothers?
"Memanglah." So, who is this?
"My Adik." Wait, your brothers are Ikmal, Iqbal and Irfan, right? So, who is this again? How many brothers do you have?
"...(change topic)..." Wait, I am still confused!
Some people just don't know when to stop. (Slaps forehead)
Kate was obviously uncomfortable, but my blur friend just had to demand for an explanation.

One time, was even funnier.

Haliza: Hello, little boy, who are you?
Boy: I am Boy, Kate's brother.
Haliza: Oh.

Haliza: Kate, I didn't know you have another brother.
Kate: No, he's not. He's my cousin.
Haliza: But, why is he saying he's your brother then?
Kate: I don't know. But he's not my brother. (Nervous laugh)
Haliza: Okay...


I think Kate secretly knows that I know her secret and she must be very glad because I give her privacy. Come on, pandai-pandailah, kita pun dah besar, she will talk about when she is ready. If she doesn't want to tell, why ask further?

Maybe that's why I am the closest to her. I understand without her having to tell.


Kate ni pun satu hal jugak.

She comes from a very tight family. She gets along very well with her step-siblings.

I mean, I see the 'cousins', 'adik angkat' and 'extra sisters and brothers' all the time in her house.

But why does she have to hide this kind of things? Is it still a taboo in our society?

It's not uncommon nowadays, and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

My other friends talk very openly about their fathers second and third wives, how they prefer one over the other, or how they hate their stepmom but loves their step siblings...

I think it will be less burdening for Kate if she just admits. The thing is, it's difficult to admit when you've been dodging the issue for very long.


In the August issue of majalah Perempuan, or was it Wanita (?), there are two articles about poligamy.

It's amazing how I can loathe one family, and love the other one, even though both family practice polygamy.

The one that I hate is an Ustadz who married 4 women, each staying in a different state, one even lives in Australia. Apa dia ingat perempuan perempuan ni hotel? Tempat persinggahan? How can you be fair when your wives are so far from you at a time. How can you keep track of your children? So, you leave your wives to manage everything on their own lah! There's not even tolong menolong sesama madu concept in this marriage!

Lepas tu nak berbangga dalam majalah pulak. Please lah!

The one who lives in Australia, quoted, "Rasa seronok sangat sebab dapat bersama abang beraya ke rumah-rumah madu saya, pusing-pusing satu Malaysia." You are so immature!


The other one is about an Ustadz with 3 wives. He married the first wife because her father approached him to take care of his daughter, he agreed. Then, he married the second and third wives because the first wife suggested it to him, even tolong meminang them for him.

And...The second and third wives are janda, people who were wrongly treated during their first marriages. And both of them are medical doctors.

Now, this sounds much better, right!

My cousin came to Mother's house for a Raya visit.

Cousin: Oh, my God!
Me: Why?
Cousin: This woman, she approached my friend to marry her husband.
Me: Why?!
Cousin: She wants the Golden Umbrella.
Me: The what?!
Cousin: She wants the Payung Emas God promises to give in Heaven, if you live peacefully with your husband and his other wives.
Me: Oh. Why she didn't approach you then?
Cousin: Because, I am not good enough for her husband. Dia nak orang-orang tudung labuh je...


Friday, September 9, 2011

I actually want to write a decent post but I was caught up reading a blog from A to Z, and it's already too late!

Anyway, just a quick one.

As you know, I had an accident a few weeks ago. Also, my car was smashed and I was nearly robbed one year ago.

Because of this unfortunate events, I've had people suggesting to me to sell the car and buy a new one.

I refuse.

First reason is, this is my first car and I don't use it that often. The mileage is minimal so, it'll be my loss if I were to sell the car.

Secondly, it is the last thing that Father helped me to purchase before he passed away. I remember how we had to wait for a few months just because he wanted me to have the family's plate number. He also witnessed the night the robbers terrorized me. (Sometimes, I wish he would just shoot them bastards.)

Basically, the car really means a lot to me. I don't care if it will end up as my 'kereta pergi pasar', as long as it's there. We could always buy a new one, right?

Besides, I don't believe in luck, especially bad ones.

I notice a similar thing between the two incidents. I was wearing baju kurung!

I don't consider myself as someone who wears baju kurung rarely, but one of my bosses once pointed out to me.

Boss: Eh, hi. This is the first time I see you in baju kurung.
Me: (Shocked) Really? I've worn it before! (Defensive)

The first time, when the two guys hit me, I was so shaken that I went to sleep sobbing. You know, that's the time when you start to think the worst thing that could have happened. Not only traumatized, I was also beating myself up because supposedly, the first thing that should have come to my mind, was the Shahadah.

During the recent incident, I am glad that I remembered God. Although not immediately, but that's an improvement from the last time. If I were to die, at least I won't regret my last words.

I've had two near-deaths experiences but I am still tudungless. Insaflah, Ectopy!!!

Last but not least, regarding me forcing my husband to eat...Hehe. I guess, it's not so much of me wanting to punish him, but more of him following my orders.


It's actually the fact that he listened to me and did not reciprocate my anger that made me forgive him. Can you imagine if he started to scold me back?

The argument would have been definitely extended and uglier.

So, to guys out there, now you know what we, women, want.
Sometimes, it's nice if you make us feel like a Goddess once in a while.
It works for me!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

At my parents' house, I browsed through an old highschool album.

For the first time in my life, I think I was not a bad looking girl. Cute jugak ape...

Stupid boys...How can they not fall for this face, huh!

Me: Abang, cantik tak Rozita Che Wan ni?
Husband: Oh...Ni lah Rozita Che Wan...Ni anak Chef Wan tu eh?
Me: (Slaps forehead)

Me: Okay, nak tengok Final Destination 5 ke, Conan the Barbarian ke, The Smurfs?
Friend: Tak nak tengok The Smurfs!
Husband: Kita tengok Conan the Barbarian lah...
Me: Final Destination lah best!
Husband: Final Destination yang first je yang best...Cerita pasal Lailatul Qadar.
Me: Cerita pasal Qada' dan Qadar lah!!!

Me: Kalau you tak sampai esok, siap you! I mengamuk!
Husband: Mana boleh mengamuk! Syurga you di bawah tapak kaki I!
Me: Oh...Syurga I di bawah tapak kaki you...Syurga you tu dekat bawah sini juga...
Husband: Memang pun...Bawah tu syurga dunia I...(Evil laugh)

My husband always regards my pussy as his heaven.

I met an old friend because he came back for a short Raya holiday.

Me: So, who have you met today? Or, who else are you planning to meet today?
Friend: I have met Rina. We had coffee in KL Sentral.
Me: Then, where is she?
Friend: She had to go somewhere.

Rina is our mutual friend whose profession is the same like mine.

Friend: So, how's work?
Me: Okay lah...Not too bad.
Friend: Rina complained a lot.
Me: About her clients?
Friend: No. Generally. She complains about the system and macam-macam lah.
Me: I see...

At that point, it hits me: There's nothing sexy about complaining.

I am meeting an old friend and I definitely don't want him to remember me as someone who likes to complain.

Let this be a reminder for me.

Last Friday, my husband went for his Solat Jumaat and came home really late.

I called and called but he did not pick up his phone.

Finally, at 2.45pm, he came home and I was so angry at that time, ready to throw tantrums.

He was oblivious about my anger, so he didn't expect my fierceness.

Me: You pergi mana!
Husband: Pergi sembahyang lah.
Me: Kenapa tak angkat phone!
Husband: Oh, sorry, sorry, tak dengar.
Me: You pergi mana?
Husband: Abang makan tadi.

Me: Makan! You makan! Habis you tak fikir isteri you tak makan!
Husband: Abang lapar tadi. Kawan ajak makan.
Me: Habis I tunggu you lama-lama buat apa!
Husband: Okay, cepat, abang teman you makan.
Me: I tak nak you teman I makan, I nak you makan sekali lah!

Me: Apasal tak boleh nak SMS cakap you balik lambat! Apa guna handphone tu kalau tak guna! Apa guna you bawa kalau you silent kan handphone tu!
Husband: Sembahyang tadi kena silent.
Me: Masa makan tadi tak ingat I langsung! I tak kira, I nak you makan dengan I!

Husband: Ha, okaylah...Cepat, ambil pinggan tu.
Me: I nak you hidangkan untuk I.
Husband: Okay, dah.
Me: You nak makan sangat kan tadi? Lapar sangat kan tadi? I nak you habiskan nasi atas pinggan you tu. I tak kisah!
Husband: Tapi ni banyak sangat ni. I dah kenyang.
Me: I tak kisah. Siapa suruh you pergi makan tak beritahu I!

Husband: I kenyang ni...
Me: Kalau you tak makan, I tak nak makan!

Husband: Okay, I makan ni...

And that's how a controlling wife punish her husband- feed him sampai meletup perut.

Garang gila nak mampus I ni!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

You know, during the recent ordeal, someone recognized me. Well, not me, but Father. He read out my name and instantly guessed who my daddy was.

I did not know him though. A lot of people knew Father but I am just his daughter, I don't know his acquaintances except for a few.

"Arwah baru meninggal dunia masa baru lepas balik Haji kan? Saya tak sempat nak datang melawat masa tu..." he said.

I mestilah rasa sebak masa tu. Teringat-ingat what could have happened if Father was still alive.

You know, the saying 'Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, manusia mati meninggalkan nama'?

Even though after he passed away, there are people who still remember him by name. He must have done something great in his life, eh?

And here I am, so far, have done nothing really significant. What will people remember me by after I am gone? What great things I should do, or maybe, I could do? Will they even remember me?

I am beginning to think that I will probably never reach the high standard that Father has set for his children. It's depressing to think that has Father ever be proud of me?

Biarlah if he has never been proud of me, but I hope he knows I am proud of him. I wish our relationship was better and I could tell him that I really love him. I hope he knows that he has done a great job raising us. Any fault that I do, is because of my rebellious and stubborn nature, and has nothing to do with him.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

I texted my friend, Jay*, for my money back. He said he totally forgot about it!

I told Eric* about this.

Eric: Dia lupa sebab dah lama sangat kot! Setahun lebih dah!


Friday can be a good day or a bad day.

A good day if you get to enjoy the long break. But a bad day if you need to do something, but everyone closes too early and opens too late in the afternoon!

This recent Friday was a good one turned bad for me.


"Abang, I accident!" I told my husband over the phone.

What happened was, I was stuck in a traffic jam. One motorcyclist was probably in a hurry. He lost his balance and his motorcycle fell on my car. I asked him, "Okay ke bang?"

But he sped off, leaving his gloves behind. I continued driving. At my destination, I inspected my car but nothing was scratched. What was he scared of then?


My husband had paid for two seats for us for Iftar with the orphans at De Palma Hotel, Ampang.

It was a last minute thing, so he told me, "Sayang pakai baju kurung tau! And tolong bawakan Abang punya kasut GA and shirt biru G2000. Abang jumpa sayang dekat sana je."

I went home and applied on a quick and simple make-up. I began my journey. I drove my usual speed, but was frustrated with the long queue for the toll. To kill time, I roughly calculated the amount needed for this Hari Raya. I now have an extended family that expect duit raya from me!

Suddenly, I realized there was something lying on the road. I didn't have the time to avoid it.

A loud thump and airbags covered my view. I decelerate and finally came to a stationery. Luckily I didn't hit anything else while I was temporarily blind.

My car was honking non-stop.

I felt tight at the chest. I released my seatbelt and took a breath or two. I thought the glasses were smashed but they were all intact. I began deflating the airbags. Then, I realized smoke was coming out from the dashboard, it was probably dangerous. However, I couldn't open the driver's door, so I came out through the passenger's side.

I took a peek outside and saw nothing really damaging.

"Abang, I accident," I told my husband, for the second time in one day!

Him: Accident apa?
Me: Tak tahulah. Tapi airbags semua keluar ni. Boleh tak datang?

Then only I sensed panic in his voice.

"Airbag semua keluar? Dekat mana? Nanti abang datang. You langgar apa tu? You bawa laju!" he scolded me.

After we hung up, I knew my husband would be arriving late, judging by the traffic in KL. I didn't want to call my family because I did not want to interrupt their buka puasa. Besides, I did not need their nags.

So, I called my friend, Eric*.

Me: You dekat mana?
Eric: Dekat my apartment.
Me: Kerja ke hari ni?
Eric: Taklah...Ahad nanti baru kerja.
Me: Boleh tak datang ambil I? I accident lah...

I told him the shorter version of the story and waited in the car. The smoke was still coming out. Then only I realized I had not switched off my car engine.

Surprisingly, nobody came to my aid! Not a single soul.

After 10 minutes or so, a Ronda jeep came to check me out. My car was in auto lock. They put the orange cones and opened the hood of my car. The battery circuit was intentionally disconnected so the honking would stop.

"Akak pergi ambil gambar lori belakang tu. Akak langgar barang dia! Nanti akak boleh claim insurans."

I followed his instructions.

"Teruk ke kereta saya?" I asked.

"Minyak hitam pecah, kak. Sampai keluar airbags, ye kak, teruk ni," he said.


In between my wait, I received more calls from my husband. He scolded me again and again while asking me to call the towing service.

Him: Kereta boleh start tak?
Me: I tak berani lah. Ada keluar asap-asap ni. I tak tahu asap ni dari enjin ke, or it's normal if the airbags come out.
Him: You ni...I tau, you tu bawa laju! I dah suruh bawa slow-slow kan!
Me: You nak pergi buka puasa, pergilah. I dah call Eric. He can pick me up. I tahu you ada kerja. Tak payah datanglah.
Him: I dah on the way ni. You tunggu situ!

More suprisingly, I was super calm during the ordeal. I did not shed a tear, I was not in anger, I was numb, I guess.

I was smiling when the Peronda arrived, still smiling when meeting the lorry driver.

But, but, ada ke patut, dah nampak aku langgar barang dia, sikit pun tak ada nak datang tolong aku!


Towing guy: Boleh tunggu ke?
Me: Lama ke?
Towing guy: Dalam 40 minit macam tu.
Me: Hhmmm, okay lah, nak buat macam mana.
Towing guy: Awak ramai-ramai kan?
Me: Tak lah. Seorang saja.
Towing guy: Kalau macam tu, awak duduk dalam kereta, kunci pintu.

A few minutes later, he called again.

Towing guy: Awak Muslim kan?
Me: Ha? Siapa ni? Awak nak cakap dengan siapa? Tak ada orang nama Muslim dekat sini.
Towing guy: Tak, tak. Awak puasa kan? Orang Islam kan?
Me: Ya, saya puasa.
Towing guy: Awak nak saya belikan apa-apa?
Me: Beli roti je lah.


Eric arrived.

He helped me transfer my things into his car.

While we waited for the Azan, I told him that I felt really guilty.

Me: Husband I dah marah I dah tadi.
Eric: I am sure he didn't mean it. Yang penting, you selamat. In fact, he will feel very guilty for scolding you in the first place. It's not even your fault. Things happened.
Me: Mesti Husband tengah lapar. Dia memang cepat marah kalau lapar.
Eric: Yang penting, you dah selamat...
Me: I baru ingat nak save duit. I baru minta hutang tadi. Dahlah bulan ni banyak pakai duit.
Eric: Itulah pasal...I rasa, kalau nak repair ni, mesti mahal. Harap-harap enjin you tak rosak. Kalau kena tukar enjin...Dahlah enjin baru pula tu.


The towing guy and my husband arrived roughly at the same time.

"Ni nak ganti airbags lagi. Stereng pecah ni. Macam mana you bawa kereta?" my husband scolded me in his car, on the way to the police station.

"Yang you nak marah-marah ni, kenapa?" I finally started to cry.

Husband: I bukan marah, I nak suruh you beringat. You bawa laju, tu pasal tak sempat nak elak!
Me: Patutnya, you bersyukur tengok I selamat!
Husband: I dah call you tadi kan, you cakap you okay!


Husband: Janganlah nangis. You ni, suka nangis lah.

Me: Bila masa pula I suka nangis? Baru sekarang ni I nak nangislah! You tu, sibuk tanya pasal kereta. Langsung tak ada tanya pasal I. Biarlah kereta tu. Duit I juga kan? You nak marah-marah I buat apa? Dahlah mak I marah I, suami sendiri pun nak marah I ke? Mak I cakap next year mesti insurans mahal. Semua orang fikir pasal mahal. Why can't you just be supportive?

Why can't you see that things can get a lot worse? You marah-marah I cakap I bawa laju. Cuba you fikir, kalau I elak, terkena tayar I, mesti kereta I terbalik. You pun nampak benda tu besar, kan? I boleh mati, you tahu tak?

Biarlah I nangis. I had an accident, tak boleh nak nangis? Orang lain, kalau nampak isteri selamat, terus rasa lega. You tu, langsung tak sentuh I pun. I dah beritahu you tak payah datang, kan? You ada kerja, pergilah buat kerja tu. I boleh settle semuanya sendiri.

Kalau benda macam ni jadi pada you, I would never scold you.

You cakap, I selalu accident? You tu selalu kena tipu, ada I bising? I am always supportive for you!

You ingat you seorang je lapar. Habis tu, I tak lapar? I kerja tak penat?

Husband: Sudahlah...Jom, makan.

Me: I tak nak makan. You makanlah. I nak tunggu dalam kereta.

Husband: Jomlah. Kena kiss dulu ke?


That definitely gave my husband a piece of my mind.

Yelah, orang dah stress-stress, dia lagi nak tambah stress.

But afterwards, I still felt guilty. He was so hungry that he had a migraine. Then, when he ate, even his favourite food tasted bland. He also had a tummy ache and he was so tired that he barely could open his eyes.

I apologized to him for a number of times after that.

I bukan sengaja pun....


I don't know how extensive the damage is. I don't know how long the car can be repaired. I don't know how long will it take for the insurance company to cover for my loss. I don't even know whether the insurance will pay for the damage!

Hari Raya yang sayu.

Kesian lah pulak kereta I tu.

When I was younger, I used to believed that things had feelings. The result for altruism, you know, when you keep putting yourself in others' shoes, even though the others are only things!

The feelings are not as bad since meeting my husband, because he was the one who taught me, things are things, they can always be replaced. (Although, he did the opposite that night, making me feel bad and all!)

But, as I left my car in Subang Jaya, my heart dropped. I could see my car's sad face, leaving it under the scorching sun for days, it must be thinking that I am leaving it for good. I could imagine it's sadness when undergoing a major surgery, probably multiple surgeries, all by itself. It has been a very long time since I last felt anything for an inanimate.

Sorry, car. I will be missing you. Get well soon, okay?

You know, punyalah I jaga you bagai menatang minyak yang penuh, mileage pun setakat geli-geli hati je, sampai orang car service tu ingat I tak guna you, buat apalah nak servis you...

Tapi benda dah nak jadi, kan?

Car, I hope you understand. Be strong.

Monday, August 15, 2011

1) Sometimes, I think it is probably better to live apart from your husband.
At least, whenever my period comes, I won't feel so sad as to why I am not pregnant yet.

If my husband is far, I can easily console myself that our situation is the cause for this fruitless attempt to get pregnant.

It has only been two periods, but I am impatient.

My husband is very indifferent about it. Ish. If I were pregnant, mesti dia buat tak tahu je!

2) I seriously think people who constantly update their gibberish Facebook status are lame. They are lame in real life, they are lame in the Cyberworld. I feel like they crave for the attention more than anything else. I like it better if they post interesting photos instead.

3) Speaking of photos, I want to have a vacation.

I have always been a traveller but my husband is not. Besides, work never leave him. Telefon tu asyik berbunyi je...

The funny thing is, I have never been on a holiday with him, so I wonder how it is like. Will it be as fun or will it be different?

Mine is always energetic and discover-y (?). With my husband, I think it would be more leisurely and perhaps, spending more time shopping, which, I don't really like.

It is scary. I am afraid of easily getting annoyed with him. I am more comfortable and happy if I go jalan-jalan with a person who is well-read, knows how to read the map, confident, and familiar with the transport system. (Hence, the travel partner)

My husband, on the other hand, only has been to a very limited number of interesting places, so I think, he has not found the joy going out and about.

4) For the people who actually know me personally, they are aware that I am a chatterbox. I remember details quite well. I tend to share stories, especially the one I like.

This one time, I was having buka puasa with two friends, one of whom I am very close with.

Chit chat chit chat, then before I knew it, my friend said, "You dah cerita! Tak payah cerita lagi!"

At first, I didn't mind. But, when I came home, cuddling with my sleeping husband, I recalled back what had happened and time tu baru terasa hati. When I think about it, it is quite embarassing to be cut off like that in the middle of the conversation, in front of his girlfriend pulak tu.

Delayed emotional onset. Hehe.

Then, mulalah nak rasa menyesal for accepting the invite to have dinner with them.
My friend has been asking me out, but since being married, it's impossible to hang out just the two of us. That night, I said Yes to him, thinking there will be other friends. But later on, I found it's going to be just us and his girlfriend, so, it's already too late for me to say decline the invite.

Takut dia terasa hati pulak...
Last-last, I pulak yang terasa hati.

Dahlah I am not very fond of his girlfriend. Kiranya, it was a courtesy jugaklah I went out with them, because I know everybody else has been avoiding. Too awkward. And he knows very well that I don't click with his girlfriend.

However...It is so unlike me to become sensitive over a small matter.

Last-last pujuk diri sendiri because at least I have a very loving husband by my side.

5) Back in my Uni days, I always listen to my friends' stories even though I've heard them before. Sometimes, I even pretended to be amused by them, as if I only found out about it.

One time, my friend, Jess, was telling me something. I nodded and listened and laughed along, until my other friend, Iva, broke the news, "Eh, kan I dah beritahu you pasal ni..."

Jess turned to me and scolded me for letting her go on and on about it. "Kenapa you tak cakap Iva dah beritahu you cerita ni!"

Well, I said, because you looked so excited when telling the story, so I don't want to kill your joy so abruptly. Besides, I continued, "I don't mind hearing it again."

I think it is only polite. Can you imagine, tengah semangat-semangat cerita, then suddenly, one person say, "Eh, tak payah ceritalah. I dah tahu ending dia..."

Unless the story teller is someone you dislike, I understand why you want to stun and hurt that person.

6) I am in need of a laptop, a smartphone and a digicam. Susahnya nak pilih. Because I go for good things that come in cheap price. Duh, mestilah susah.

Dulu, when Father was still alive, he was the one who chose and bought laptops for me. Easy peasy. I accept je...

Digicam pulak, I resorted to buying it via eBay. At that time, I didn't use Malaysian Ringgit, so I didn't really feel the amount of money being transacted online! The camera served me so well...

But since I balik Malaysia ni, it's quite scary, manalah tahu the purchased good tak sampai rumah or if I had to pay ridiculous shipping rate/ taxes.

I used to be against smartphones because I'd rather have separate things to do their proper designated job. Like, a camera is for taking pictures, a laptop is for surfing online, therefore, a phone is for calling and texting. Why would you jumble them all into one!

But, then again, my job requires a lot of references, which is very convenient if I could go online just a click away, or a device small enough to store all the information without carrying the actual weight of the books.

Now, I am torn between an iPhone (should I wait for iPhone 5?), a HTC, an Experia, I couldn't really tell the difference, but why is it so important for me to choose the correct one!

This can only be achieved if I had done some research, but goddamnit, why do I have to do an extensive research for a stupid phone, you think I don't have better things to do!

Nak pilih the best one satu hal, nak pilih harga pun satu hal, mahal sangat cekik darah, murah sangat barang ciplak, (why can't they all be standardised so I won't feel cheated!)

Lepas tu...

Ada beberapa orang hutang I, which amounted to RM10000!!! Bila korang nak pulangkan balik duit I ni...Takkan nak tunggu I jadi ceti kot...

Dahlah I pun tak ingat the exact cost they borrowed because I had faith in them. I really thought they will return my money cepat-cepat. Ni dah lebih setahun dah, I pun malu nak minta balik. (Eh, I pulak yang malu? Siapa yang patut malu ni?)

Seorang tu, dekat RM2000, buat tak tahu je...
Seorang tu, pinjam RM750, bayar ansurans dalam RM200 baru kot...
Seorang lagi tu, dalam RM300, and counting!
Seorang lagi tu, memang I ingat dia pinjam RM8600.

Masuk ASB lagi bagus.

I thought, when I whined about the amount I needed to use for my wedding, hint-hint lah suruh pulang duit. Tak ada jugak...

Tell me people, what is the best way, to ask for your money back?

Sunday, August 7, 2011

I've been meaning to update. Every time, I wrote halfway and stopped, there are so many drafts accumulated and saved! Blame my short attention spam brain. That is me. I am easily bored and always needs constant stimulation.

Last night, I had difficulty to fall asleep. So, to pass the time, I have decided on the topic I want to write today!

In respect of Ramadhan yang mulia, I'll pen down stories about the kind-hearted, good-willing people, sejuk mak bapak mengandungkan korang.

Okay, here goes.

The first story is about my friend. She comes from a very wealthy family but she's so humble at the same time. She always wore baju kurung during our college days, and she wore her tudung, but not the fancy kind.

I have always admired her flawless skin. She was quite plump back then, but I appreciated her soft features. I thought she was pretty if you actually took a long look at her.

If you don't know her, you wouldn't know how comfortable her life is.

She had her early education in a religious school and it really shows!

As you might have guessed, we are no longer that innocent girls. Sometimes, we wish we were still the same, how can we have changed so much...

According to her, when she was little, whenever her parents scolded her, she would cry and feel very guilty. She would pray to God to take her life away, so she would no longer hurt her parents' feelings. She used to feel that she was such a bad daughter that she didn't deserve to live.

Well, when I was little, I could be very rude to Mother! I even wished for a different set of parents whenever I was mad!

It makes me wonder. What was so bad that she ever did? I'm sure her parents don't know about her doa, but if they do, they would be the most grateful parents to have a child like her.

Nowadays, whenever they quarrel, she still prays, but mainly for the fight to be done and over with.

The recent Bersih rally.

My friend is working overseas and both she and her husband were not happy with the PSD scholars who also did a demonstration in the foreign land.

She put up her Facebook status displaying her opinion on this matter, and of course, it caused some stir.

Basically, she said those who joined are ungrateful brats and the scholarship that they received are better deserved for other people who actually stick behind the government. "Aren't you ashamed? You come here to study, using the government's money, but instead of studying, you show you disrespect to the Malaysian government."

Bla bla bla. Someone commented, "Mind you, there is no such word as the government money. It's actually duit rakyat."

"Haa...Betul. Duit rakyat. Aku pun bayar tax jugak. Jadi, aku haramkan duit aku tu untuk kegunaan budak-budak ni!"

And no more people commented after that.

The issue on halal haram is quite complicated.

I know this guy, who further his studies on a scholarship by some Yayasan Islam Negeri or something like that.

After one year of studying, he told me about his summer plans. To apply for a normal scholarship and discontinue the one he already had.

Why, I asked.

Apparently, he felt burdened. "Sebab duit yang saya buat belajar ni, duit orang derma, orang zakat..." he explained. Therefore, he was compelled to make full use of the money, meaning he had to study really hard and never to use the money for personal gain.

"Saya rasa saya tak berhak untuk guna duit ni untuk berjalan-jalan. Mungkin ada orang lain yang lebih layak untuk biasiswa ni."

I, on the other hand, never really thought about it that way.

He made me realize, the scholarship/ loan that we are granted with, merupakan satu amanah.

But did that refrain me from travelling? Hell, no.

Don't worry, I will pay everything back. I taknak hutang dibawa mati.

Therefore, as an extra to the amount of money I need to pay, as long as I live, I will try to contribute as much as I could to the rakyat. And that is to compensate any misuse of the money, whether intentionally or not while I was being funded.

Tolonglah halalkan makan minum I...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


I am being transferred to a new department and was not happy about it.

"I suck in department X! Why can't send me to department Y!" I complained to my husband.
"Tu lah you, you tak suka department X, Tuhan bagi you department X. Lain kali, jangan cakap tak suka," my dear husband spoke.
"Tapi, kenapa Tuhan bagi benda yang kita tak suka?" I said, whining like a little girl.

His answer was,"Sebab Dia tu Tuhan, itu kerja Tuhan. Tak boleh bagi semua yang manusia minta, sebab nanti porak perandalah hidup."

Besides, God knows what's best for His beloved slaves. Terima je lah dengan hati yang ikhlas.

I watched channel 114, a religious movie, about a girl being brought up in a conservative Muslim family, but grew up smart and trying to change the community ways of thinking.
She encourages girls to read.

She wanted to open a library but her brother burnt all her books. Slowly, she collected books again, and asked for her brother's permission to turn one of the rooms into a library once more time.

Her brother looked at her basket full of books. Then, the girl said to him, "Abang, kalau abang bakar sekali lagi buku-buku ni, saya ikhlas."

Most people like to be adored. I, on the other hand, adore my husband very much. I especially like the deep, mature conversations with him and the way he teaches me things I don't know.

One evening, he took my car out for wheel re-allignment. He came back and did some cleaning for my car. He also examined the engine. I asked him a lot of questions about the car, and he patiently feed me with answers.
It is one of the little things that would remind you how intelligent and amazing your husband is.

"Baguslah you ni, pandai jaga barang," I said to him when seeing him was so into taking care of my car. "Tapi tak pandai jaga orang!" I playfully mocked him. And so, he grabbed by the waist and hugged me, "Siapa kata I tak pandai jaga orang?"


My friend gave a lingerie as my wedding gift. She asked whether I had officially worn it. "I dah pakai dah, tapi it didn't stay long!" I told her along with giggles.

When I arrived home, I informed my husband about what my friend and I had talked a while ago.

That night, I was sexy in my lingerie.

Him: Jom SMS kawan you, beritahu dia yang you tengah pakai hadiah dia tu...
Me: Eh, mana boleh, malulah!
Him: Tak apa, dia open minded.
Me: Tak mahulah. Nanti dia imagine macam-macam!

Semangat pulak husband aku nak merwar-warkan aktiviti bilik tidur.

Men. Typical.

Friday, July 22, 2011

I hate the Internet, seeing all these happy faces and happy pictures and happy wedding photos and happy honeymoon destinations and happy couple activities.

How I wish...

Anyway, lets remind ourselves there are more important things in life, and sometimes, things are not what they seem to be.

The other day, I was telling a friend that I think people who know what they want in their life is cool.

For example, a few years ago, I was introduced to a handsome guy who is an accountant. I began to take interest in him (because he was so yummy) and my friend, who is his bestfriend, told me that initially he was supposed to do Medicine. He got into the course for a few months, didn't like it, and he went straight to his father saying he wanted to study Accountancy instead.

When I was 20, I didn't know what I want and I definitely couldn't simply change course or Father would kill me!

So, I admire his courage.

Sidetrack a bit:
After three years, I met him again at my friend's BBQ party, and he was all handsome and dashing, of course. He saw me and said my name, (OMG, he remembers my name!) and my friend said he's now available, whee! But, I am already married, bummer!

Talking about all this perfect men, they aren't really perfect, you see. My friend told me that his major weakness is his temper, but he's toned down a lot.

In marriage, I think it is very important to be with someone who can tolerate you and vice versa.

I had a huge fight with my husband and we made up.
I asked my husband what did he do when we were not in talking terms. He hung out with his bestfriend.

"Dia (my husband's bestfriend) cerita dekat I yang hari tu, dia gaduh dengan isteri dia jugak. Dia marah sangat, sampai pecah cermin kereta dia..." my husband told me.


Okay, nak gaduh-gaduh pun, tak payah lah get physical...

I wrote before how I used to have a little crush on my husband's bestfriend. But I get really turned off by his temper. Even though I never actually witnessed it, but I can imagine.

In my marriage, I am the one who has the temper. I think that is okay, because I am a woman. Marah-marah pun, tak adalah sampai berkorban harta benda mahupun nyawa...Because I am a weak creature, I don't have the strength to ruin anything. So, my temper is managable.

However, if a man gets angry, he could do so many dangerous and crazy things! Takut okay...

Eh, jauhnya I dah menyimpang cerita.

Okay, back to the topic: People who know what they want in their life and actually do something to get it, especially when they are smart, are cool!

Yeah, so I was telling this friend of mine that I have a police officer friend.

My friend has something against the police. He's been violated by the criminals for so many times that he has lost faith in the forces to actually contain the situation. Many times, he didn't even bother to report the cases because he believes that it wouldn't make a difference.

So, base on his background, my friend was not impressed that I have a friend who's working as a cop.

"Why did he become a police officer?" my friend asked.

I told him that since school, he already made it public that he wanted to become one.

"But why? They don't do anything!" my friend said, coincidentally, we were passing a group of policemen who did nothing.

I don't like it when people look down to other people, especially when they are supposed to be doing a noble job. So, I told my friend that my police friend is actually a smart guy. He was quite a good student when we were in school, a Science stream student and managed to get 6As. (SPM zaman dulu lebih berkualiti dari sekarang) He studied Forensics, instead of the boring, typical Medicine, then, he joined PDRM. I think there's a good prospect by doing that. That is a smart move, don't you think?

My friend replied, "Eh, orang pandai tak sepatutnya jadi polis lah!"

Wah, such stereotype!

So, kudos to all the people out there who do what they want without giving a damn of what people think!

You think police are stupid? You can't say that because they are smart policemen out there, you better watch out!

And I am proud of who is actively involved in Teach for Malaysia. Someone who is extremely smart, but dedicated her life to come back to Malaysia to become a teacher.

We all have this mentality, "Ala, dia tu bukan pandai sangat pun, jadi cikgu je..."

But you see, now, there is actually a few smart teachers out there! A teacher that students can and should admire and make an example of. (Standing ovation)

Not that I don't respect teachers, but teachers during my days and teachers now are quite different, I think.
Okay, I blame my experience. I know someone from school who is a pathological liar and steals a lot of things but she is now a teacher!
I so hate her.

Likewise, doctors are not always smart too!
Because, my husband told me about his friend, who has a brother, who studied Medicine, but he got only 2As for SPM! WTF! You got money? You can send your kids to study anywhere as long as he can be a doctor!

First of all, SPM is not that difficult to score.

On the other hand, we can't always depend on a stupid certificate to be recognized of our mental capabilities.

But I support the government move to control the overflowing of unreliable doctors in Malaysia.

I had a deep conversation with my husband.

It's saddening that all the good ones left but those we come back, they actually suck.

So, I give you a pat on your back to those who come back to serve our country. I give you a pat on your back to those who are abroad and planning not to stay there forever.

No pat on your back if you plan to run away...

Malaysia, we need a smart leader.

(to be continued)

Thursday, July 21, 2011

My husband is ill and he dozed off without saying goodnight or kissing me goodnight. I am so pissed off. Being sick is not an excuse to forget your wife who desires some affection.

And, he even lost my Touch N Go card worth RM88!


Happy thoughts ahead!


This happened before I got married when the whole department knew that the date was near.

Basically, I was working and minding my own business when I walked past a colleague.

Suddenly, she said, "You look so slim, I want your body!"

A comment from someone whom I barely knew because she just joined the department!

Awkward, weird but I was flattered.


I always park my car at this parking lot, so everyday, I meet the same group of security guards.

One particular pak guard is someone who speaks English very well and he always greets and smiles at you.

Him: Finished working?
Me: Yeah...
Him: You know, Miss, you are a good driver.
Me: No lah...
Him: Really. I've seen you drive before. You are a good driver.
Me: Well, thank you.

I think it's the woman-doing-reverse-parking thing that leads to that compliment. I do it oh-so effortlessly everyday. Haha.


A year ago, I remember one client who thinks I was pretty.

Fast-forward, our paths crossed again. Obviously, he forgot about me but I still remember him (because compliments regarding my looks are so rare that they are precious, you see, must not forget, for the sake of self-esteem).

The good thing is, he still thinks I am pretty (even though he is totally oblivious that he said that to me one year ago) and this time around, he tried to hook up with me a few times. He asked me out for a movie lah and he took note when I'd be working so he can pay me a visit.

Four days before my wedding, I lost RM4000 to the stupid cash deposit machine that swallowed my money! Sabar je lah time tu, dugaan orang nak kahwin.

I was frantic and tried calling the bank to sort out the matter. And guess who was there coincidentally? Him. Luckily he saw me that I was in no mood to be polite and he left.

I took a relatively long leave for my wedding and then, came back to work.

On one morning, I saw him.

Me: Buat apa dekat sini? Salah tempatlah...Awak patut pergi sana...
Him: Tapi I nak jumpa you.
Me: Tak boleh, tak boleh! I dah kahwin.
Him: Dah kahwin ke?
Me: Ye, I dah kahwin! (Waves my inai stained fingers to him)

And that was the last I saw him.

Even though he is not the lelaki pujaan Malaya punya type, but to have someone who fancies you memanglah is a nice feeling.

I'm using this story for my husband and tambah garam dan gula sikit-sikit so he will think his wife is still hot on the market. Haha. My husband doesn't have to know this is guy is obese and mentally retarded!


A few months before my wedding, I went out with my long time friend and his brother.

Then, there was a time when my friend left the table. His brother and I began talking about relationships. Soon, I told him that I had found the perfect guy and we were getting married.

Him: Bila nak kahwin?
Me: Bulan Jun.
Him: Cepatnya! My brother tak beritahu pun!
Me: Ala, sebenarnya dah risik lama dah, tapi asyik tangguh-tangguh je...
Him: Eh, you nak kahwin dengan siapa ni?
Me: Dengan my boyfriend lah!
Him: ... (Blank look)
Me: Who works as bla bla bla and lives at bla bla bla...? (Raised eyebrows)
Him: Bukan you couple dengan my brother ke?
Me: ??? (Confused)

Since when!
It was so awkward that I became speechless, I had no idea how to respond to his assumption. Ye lah, takkan I nak flip out tak tentu pasal, this is my good friend we are talking about.

I guess, my friend's brother saw how shocked I was. He did not demand for an explanation, so we both let go of the topic.

My friend doesn't know a thing, of course.

As I am typing this, macam funny lah pulak. Haha. So, all this while, his brother thought I was his girlfriend ke...

(FYI, my friend WAS already in a relationship, until he broke up with that girl a week after my wedding. The girl dumped him but he told me he wasn't so sad, so yeay, less job for me as a friend to cheer him up!)

Okay, dah habis dah cerita.

My husband is still asleep and he doesn't even realize I am not by his side. I know him so well, tomorrow he will say that it's the effect from his medicines.

Benci lahhhhh...!!!