Sunday, September 4, 2011

At my parents' house, I browsed through an old highschool album.

For the first time in my life, I think I was not a bad looking girl. Cute jugak ape...

Stupid boys...How can they not fall for this face, huh!

Me: Abang, cantik tak Rozita Che Wan ni?
Husband: Oh...Ni lah Rozita Che Wan...Ni anak Chef Wan tu eh?
Me: (Slaps forehead)

Me: Okay, nak tengok Final Destination 5 ke, Conan the Barbarian ke, The Smurfs?
Friend: Tak nak tengok The Smurfs!
Husband: Kita tengok Conan the Barbarian lah...
Me: Final Destination lah best!
Husband: Final Destination yang first je yang best...Cerita pasal Lailatul Qadar.
Me: Cerita pasal Qada' dan Qadar lah!!!

Me: Kalau you tak sampai esok, siap you! I mengamuk!
Husband: Mana boleh mengamuk! Syurga you di bawah tapak kaki I!
Me: Oh...Syurga I di bawah tapak kaki you...Syurga you tu dekat bawah sini juga...
Husband: Memang pun...Bawah tu syurga dunia I...(Evil laugh)

My husband always regards my pussy as his heaven.

I met an old friend because he came back for a short Raya holiday.

Me: So, who have you met today? Or, who else are you planning to meet today?
Friend: I have met Rina. We had coffee in KL Sentral.
Me: Then, where is she?
Friend: She had to go somewhere.

Rina is our mutual friend whose profession is the same like mine.

Friend: So, how's work?
Me: Okay lah...Not too bad.
Friend: Rina complained a lot.
Me: About her clients?
Friend: No. Generally. She complains about the system and macam-macam lah.
Me: I see...

At that point, it hits me: There's nothing sexy about complaining.

I am meeting an old friend and I definitely don't want him to remember me as someone who likes to complain.

Let this be a reminder for me.

Last Friday, my husband went for his Solat Jumaat and came home really late.

I called and called but he did not pick up his phone.

Finally, at 2.45pm, he came home and I was so angry at that time, ready to throw tantrums.

He was oblivious about my anger, so he didn't expect my fierceness.

Me: You pergi mana!
Husband: Pergi sembahyang lah.
Me: Kenapa tak angkat phone!
Husband: Oh, sorry, sorry, tak dengar.
Me: You pergi mana?
Husband: Abang makan tadi.

Me: Makan! You makan! Habis you tak fikir isteri you tak makan!
Husband: Abang lapar tadi. Kawan ajak makan.
Me: Habis I tunggu you lama-lama buat apa!
Husband: Okay, cepat, abang teman you makan.
Me: I tak nak you teman I makan, I nak you makan sekali lah!

Me: Apasal tak boleh nak SMS cakap you balik lambat! Apa guna handphone tu kalau tak guna! Apa guna you bawa kalau you silent kan handphone tu!
Husband: Sembahyang tadi kena silent.
Me: Masa makan tadi tak ingat I langsung! I tak kira, I nak you makan dengan I!

Husband: Ha, okaylah...Cepat, ambil pinggan tu.
Me: I nak you hidangkan untuk I.
Husband: Okay, dah.
Me: You nak makan sangat kan tadi? Lapar sangat kan tadi? I nak you habiskan nasi atas pinggan you tu. I tak kisah!
Husband: Tapi ni banyak sangat ni. I dah kenyang.
Me: I tak kisah. Siapa suruh you pergi makan tak beritahu I!

Husband: I kenyang ni...
Me: Kalau you tak makan, I tak nak makan!

Husband: Okay, I makan ni...

And that's how a controlling wife punish her husband- feed him sampai meletup perut.

Garang gila nak mampus I ni!


elle said...

haha! good one ectopy. yr husband mesti dh serik kot.

Mak Piah said...

Bagi makan pau lenkali.

fYZa said...

ahahahha cute!

Sir Pök Déng said...


Anonymous said...

tu namenyer marah-marah sayang ...