You know, during the recent ordeal, someone recognized me. Well, not me, but Father. He read out my name and instantly guessed who my daddy was.
I did not know him though. A lot of people knew Father but I am just his daughter, I don't know his acquaintances except for a few.
"Arwah baru meninggal dunia masa baru lepas balik Haji kan? Saya tak sempat nak datang melawat masa tu..." he said.
I mestilah rasa sebak masa tu. Teringat-ingat what could have happened if Father was still alive.
You know, the saying 'Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, manusia mati meninggalkan nama'?
Even though after he passed away, there are people who still remember him by name. He must have done something great in his life, eh?
And here I am, so far, have done nothing really significant. What will people remember me by after I am gone? What great things I should do, or maybe, I could do? Will they even remember me?
I am beginning to think that I will probably never reach the high standard that Father has set for his children. It's depressing to think that has Father ever be proud of me?
Biarlah if he has never been proud of me, but I hope he knows I am proud of him. I wish our relationship was better and I could tell him that I really love him. I hope he knows that he has done a great job raising us. Any fault that I do, is because of my rebellious and stubborn nature, and has nothing to do with him.
1 day ago