Saturday, February 27, 2010

Thank you for sharing your story, Weed. (Refer to her comment in my post below)
I hope you'd tell about the 'kek kemek' pulak nanti. :)

Now, let me tell you my story which you remind me of.

I was in a bus, somewhere not in Malaysia, where the bus stopped for a very long time. I was getting annoyed and began to look out of the windows to see what was delaying our journey. Was it the traffic congestion? It seemed odd because we were on a big road, which traffic rarely occurred at that time of the day. Other vehicles stopped too, from both ways!

An old, frail lady was crossing the road.

She was holding a walking stick, walking slowly, with the help of a younger lady, who left her BMW door wide open with the engine on (and of course, nobody would want to take opportunity on her).

Another young man, came out from a different car, was stopping the traffic from the other side to let the ladies cross the road.

So, lets imagine if the situation happened in Malaysia. Of course we would have the conscious not to hold up the traffic and just continue our journey because, well, this all happened at the other side of the road which wouldn't affect us, because we were the people who were going the other way.

But noooo....The citizens in this particular country, decided to stop. All of them. Whether they were going North, East, South or West. And nobody honked anybody.

And mind you, we were in a city, the capital of the country, not in some outskirt countryside where people are generally nicer.

And all of us waited. Until the nenek tua crossed the divider and another jalan besar.
To get into the bus I was on.

Even the bus driver had a big heart!

Kalau dekat sini, of course the bus driver would have left us. Tak kuasa nak tunggu 10 minit. Lu lambat, lu kena tinggal, lu tahan bas pun, wa jalan buat tak tahu, lagi wa langgar adalah!

Ataupun, kita mempunya pemikiran macam ni, "Dah tua-tua macam ni pun nak naik bus ke? Baik duduk rumah je lah. Nak keluar jalan-jalan tapi menyusahkan orang."

Well, giving my benefit of doubt, the people in that country memang generally very, very, very nice pun. In fact, personally, I think they are the nicest people in the world. Sangat, sangat baik, friendly and fair. They treat all people equally, tak kira lah bangsa apa, tua atau muda, cacat ke tak, miskin ke kaya, they accomodate for everybody...That's why when I was there, I didn't feel poor even though money was limited. We all used coupons and they didn't give that look when we asked for discounts. Tak ada rasa malu pun nak guna public transport because even the millionaires naik basikal pergi kerja.

I'm glad the values I learned there, I still hold onto tight until now.

My boyfriend and I have our daily sessions of telephone calls.
"Tadi petang," my boyfriend told me last night, "Mak budak accident tu telefon."

"Kenapa dia call?" I asked.

"Dia cakap, 'Terima kasihlah bawa anak makcik pergi hospital. Makcik tak tahu nak buat apa. Dia tu anak yatim, bapa dia dah meninggal. Makcik orang tak sekolah. Makcik tak tahu nak buat apa.'"

I'm sure it's nothing. He'll probably just need a operation (or probably dah buat operation dah pun). Tinggal money issue je.

Sekolah ke tak sekolah, ikut cakap doktor is best. Jangan ikut cakap bomoh. Haha.

Doctor will probably say that the patient needs a lot of rest, but must also help himself by not just lying down. Kena beli crutches to help him ambulate. Kena makan ubat. Tapi jangan biasakan diri makan painkillers. Kena pergi regular follow-ups.

Tapi kalau bab saman saman, nak minta gantirugi (since it wasn't the boy's fault), insurans ke apa, itu kami tak tahu. Kena report polis lah kot.

Kalau that stupid lady refuses to help, harap dia mati masuk neraka.

My life doesn't have an insurance. My life has no value, say the insurance agents, if I don't get an insurance policy.
The insurance agents also say it's very, very important to have an insurance.

They still fail to convince me that I need an insurance.

I'm not arrogant saying I will never die abruptly or fall sick. I know I will, one day, I just refuse to think about it, or rather, I refuse to relate them with money.

If I die, my children don't need to inherit my properties in order to survive and be happy. I will teach them that they have to find their own funding.

If I fall sick, I don't mind going to a government hospital. I don't need a private room bathroom ensuite in a posh hospital to ease my pain. I need to see other people who are more unfortunate than I am to leave the world in peace and rasa syukur.
If I was left alone in the room, I would think I'm the most malang person in the world oh why is God doing this to me! Setan banyak kalau kita tinggal seorang, haven't you heard of that?
Contohnya, kalau patient sebelah kita sakit stroke pun tapi masih nak sembahyang, wouldn't you feel embarassed if you excuse yourself from praying just because you ada asthma?
And that's why I like to be in a crowd. Would a private hospital provide me such humbling moments while I'm dying? Unlikely.

I don't mind the insurance agents, I just don't like the ideas that they put into my head. Sometimes, I hate them so much (no offense, sorry!!! I couldn't help myself), the only thing that can prevent me for hating them as much is by thinking: Diorang pun cari makan juga. This is what they do to support their family. Ini rezeki diorang.

So, when they preach to me, I senyap je, angguk-angguk, pretend to be interested and then say "No, thank you."

Tapi nanti diorang akan cakap, "Betul ke tanak? Tak kisah ke kalau duduk dalam wad kerajaan, bila hospital dah penuh, diorang takkan terima you, kena tunggu lama-lama?"

I repeat, "No, thank you."

"Tapi sebelum tu, boleh you bagi nombor telephone kawan-kawan you?"

WHAT THE HELL! Can I just create the numbers and lie to you?

I also don't have a credit card.
I used to have one, then I terminate it. I think it's very useful especially when it comes to dealing online.

I used to ask my boyfriend, "Kenapa you tak ada credit card? Semua orang kerja ada credit cards!"


My boyfriend said:

- I takut overspend.
- I tak suka berhutang.
- You ingat, orang kaya tu orang yang banyak kad? Orang kayalah sepatutnya tak guna credit card, they should pay everything in cash.


Then, a death came. I was sitting down with my friend, asking her, "What now?"

She said, "I'm gonna make sure Mom is alright, then I'm gonna settle all his credit cards, phone bills etc."

Credit cards. Hutang. What if nobody knows how many credit cards I'm using! I tanak mati berhutang!

Tapi beli kereta, beli rumah pun berhutang juga.

Okay, from now onwards, I'm going to tell my boyfriend about every hutang that I owe.

And no credit card for me.
Or maybe just one.
Just to book flight tickets? Hehe.

Friday, February 26, 2010

My good friend lost a family member. I can imagine how the mother is devastated because their family is small. To add salt to the wound, one other family member became useless. He's like a zombie, only physically there but always high, I assume.

And this is why I always want a large family. You never know what can happen.

But I hope, there's a hikmah di sebalik kejadian.
Who knows, the other family member will finally realize that he now has to take charge, change, be there for his mother.

When I was little, I always sympathize those poor children who have to walk to school under the burning sun or the heavy rain.

Whenever I see them, I'd ask quietly why Mother, the woman who always fetched me to and fro the school, never stopped to offer them a ride.

Tak kesian ke...

So, I promised myself, after I got my driving license, I would do volunteering work and randomly offer stranger kids the rides that they need.

But it never happened.

I'm not really sure why.

My boyfriend was driving when he was stopped looking at an accident victim lying by the roadside.

The motorcyclists met an accident with a dumb lady who stood there doing nothing. He was obviously bleeding and his leg was deformed.

My boyfriend decided to take him to the hospital.

The boy was in my boyfriend's car. He told my boyfriend, "Mak cakap, kalau macam ni kena bawa pergi jumpa bomoh, bang!"

Ini bukan terseliuh main bola!

At least, my boyfriend is doing what I'm unable to bring myself to do.

Helping a complete stranger in trouble.

And he doesn't even mind the drops of blood staining his car seat.

"It's an old car anyway. I tak kesah pun."

And the more reasons to get a new, dashing car!
Yeay! :)

Saturday, February 20, 2010

you'll find it.

A question.

Who can I trust to make a beautiful corset?

I think a really nice corset is hard to make, so I am thinking of separately sending the corset top to a good tailor and the rest of the dress shall be sewed by other low-key tailors. You know, just because I don't think it's worth it to spend thousands on a wedding dress.

Well, it is worth it, but I don't have enough budget.
I admit!

I gave my boyfriend a text message, basically I was praising myself using the words he had used to compliment me:
"I ni mata bulat, rambut lembut, kulit gebu, bibir mugil, body lawa, kaki licin, wangi, mata bulat, leher cantik...Bertuahnya you ni! What more can you ask for me hah! :)"

This is what he replied with:
"I nak hati you yang baik, kelembutan you, your presence and kasih sayang dan ihsan dari you."

Wow, that was a surprise.


I think this blog has become more or so the place where I document the nice things people had said about/ to me. It's important to remember these things especially during one of those low days when you feel worthless.

"Ectopy, I've been watching you for a long time. I notice you are very humble and hardworking. Keep it up. May God bless you. Jangan lupa banyak baca Quran, banyak-banyakkan berdoa."

Terus hati berbunga-bunga, when someone whom I am not close with, who could be as old as Mother, suddenly said those things to me.
On the other hand, I also has been admiring her from far. She's firm and kind, not irritating unlike some other people who hold the same position as her. And she always encourage people to pray, "Awak Muslim? Baca ni...(Then she would recite some doa). InsyaAllah everything's gonna be fine. Jangan takut. Kena kuat semangat."

The embarassing thing is, she thinks I'm such a nice person which I don't think I am. Perhaps I should recite the Quran more often.

I hate seeing my friends not believing in love. It makes me feel like, 'If I were single, I would've made you happy because I could love you, why wouldn't anyone love you and you love her back,' that kinda thing.

It's baaaaaad...and sad.

For some reasons, I always fail to convince them that they will find the one. Just like how I felt when I fell out of love several years back. I thought I could never loved anyone else more. But then, I found my boyfriend. And it is possible to love more and more.

I remember I was crushed thinking I could never find a person who I can love and love me back. But then, someone told me, of course you could never feel the same love again and you can never compare the love you will have with the previous ones. Because they are different love. But still love. Probably not better, but it's love.

Do you get what I mean!

See, I told you I always fail to explain this to my friends. You'll get what I mean when you've experienced it.

How was your Valentine's day?

One of my friends had a really super duper romantic one and instead of feeling jealous of her, I am so happy for her!

But because the mood still lingers, it opens up opportunities and twisted tales between my friends and their friends and their friends which in the end, I know all of them past and secrets. Why are we so interconnected?

And that's why I like to mingle my friends!