I have so many things to talk about.

About the major illness in the family and the different ways of coping.
About cheekbones.
About food.
About books.
About movies.
About blessings, studies, etc.
About how some people think where you graduated from is still important even after 10 years of leaving university.

Okay, maybe something short for now. Because I am sleepy.

My friend kept an ancient self-made Raya card that I gave him in 2005. That is freaking 15 years ago, and the condition is great, I am so amazed! I printed it out and the colour is still vibrant. It's either I used a high quality paper, ink and printer or my friend really knows how to care for his things.

Anyway, because it is such a rare item, like opening a time capsule, I showed it to my newer friends. The group that I've known for the last 3-4 years.

One of them said- Ectopy, you look a little bit chubby there...

Oh, yeah! All of our weights yo yo-ed at first, we were still adapting to the weather, food ration and stuff, so yeah. I don't mind a little bit of chubby when they are in their supposed taut places. Heeee...

Then, it was my ex-housemate birthday, so I wished her, and also, forwarded the photo of the said card.
"My other friends said I look chubby here."

And, my sweetest friend said- "Chubby? You've always had high cheekbobes."
Awww...That is such a nice way to put it. Thanks.
She said- But it is true!

Aaahhh...The forgotten cheekbones...I never knew I had high cheekbones, until my niece asked me, "Auntie Ectopy, apa tu?"
She pointed at my cheeks, my cheekbones to be exact.
Me: What?
Niece: Kenapa bila Auntie Ectopy smile, ada tu...(Little niece demonstrated the apples of my cheeks popping out)

Hahaha...I was in my early twenties, got back for summer, and my young niece asked me questions that made me feel like an alien. Because I didn't know what she meant!

I looked in the mirror for a good few hours, when I finally rationalized myself, perhaps, it was about my cheekbones indeed (because there wasn't anything else there!)

Okay, so that's the story about how I was reminded of my high cheekbones. It's not something I associate myself with, but it's nice. It's nice to be reminded that once upon a time, a few people thought I had high cheekbones. The good old days...

My girl asked for a book. A pop-up Alice in Wonderland book by Robert Sabuda that she saw on Yoube. It's expensive and I said- No, nanti Baby H koyakkan!
She promised she won't.
And the book looks so pretty, so I decided to buy it. Still waiting, it's been two weeks.

I thought I wanted to wait until the book arrived before I write this, but, lama sangatlah!

I also wanted to buy other pop-up books for my son, you know, I am trying to be fair here, if my daughter gets one book, my son should get one too. But, all the pop-up books I think is suitable for a boy, is not available locally. And I've checked multiple websites. Most are pre-order. Don't want lah pre-order.

Anyway, I also bought A Classic Case of Dr Seuss, a collection of 20 books. I bought it with my kids in my mind, but actually, I also want to read them, because I've never read a single Dr. Seuss book, so I want to know what's the hype is about.

We haven't finished all of them but each of us have our own favourite. Haha.

I like Oh, The Places You'll Go. It's so real. It's the kind of story that I would read if I'm feeling down or if I need a lift up.

My son likes The Sneetches and I Wish I Had Duck Feet.

My daughter likes There's a Wocket in My Pocket.

Because of their favourites, we've been reading the same books over and over again before bedtime. That's why we haven't finished reading the whole collection yet. That's okay. I want them to enjoy it. That's the purpose.

I also wanted to buy
Charlie and The Chocolate Factory
The Little Prince
but I guess, not now. I don't think my kids are ready for these yet.

And for myself, maybe someday I will buy all Robert Sabuda's pop-up books and just admire his work up close. Cantik sangat!

I ran out of things to watch. Can you believe it? Even though there are a million movies out there that I haven't watched yet...It's just that I am quite picky, because I want to watch the movies I know I would appreciate and worth my time.

Suddenly I remember watching Bestdressed's top movies on Youtube a while back.

So. Gone girl. Spoiler alert.

Are you surprised that I like the ending? I like the fact that the husband couldn't put his wife in jail. I am surprised that even though the wife is psychopathic criminal, I still want the husband to be punished, just because of his infidelity.

I hate disloyal people. Especially in marriage, because marriage is sacred.

But it's funny how I couldn't side to the husband's absence of justification of cheating AND menghabiskan duit bini, I actually was thinking padan muka all the while. And it is surprising how I feel about the whole thing- psychopathic manipulative control freak/ murderer vs unfaithfulness, that I actually like the ending where the husband is stuck with the wife.





From the comments. I scrolled for other recommended movies, and now I have a list of films to watch, yeay!

I watched the The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. It is pretty slow but the movie picked up at the second half. It's a movie you'd appreciate if you are like me, older and calmer. I know I wouldn't like it if I watched it in my 20s. Haha. The cinematography is great. So cantik. It makes me to go to these exotic places and just be absorbed in the beautiful nature.





Ahhh...and before I forget. Love, Rosie. Oohhh...Love it! The ending could've been better. I mean, I imagine they finally get together when they are older, like in their in 40s, instead of so soon after Alex's marriage. I mean, I wouldn't want to be with someone who just got married for a few months. It clearly shows a lack of commitment. Otherwise, it's a feel good movie about the not so perfect life of Rosie.






And here is my list of movies to watch
The Theory of Everything
Time Freak
The Edge of 17
Her
Call Me by Your Name
Booksmart
The Science of Sleep
Ghost World
Insidious
Stranger Than Fiction
The Farewell
Sorry to Bother You
Brooklyn
Fantastic Mr. Fox
About Time
Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Perfect Blue

You can recommend your favourite movies to me too...

Some of my favourites that I can recall now
Inception
Stardust
The Greatest Showman

My friend introduced me to 7 minute work out. To be honest, it was my first time I heard about it.

So, I watched the Youtube video. It looked intense, I told them- Well, it will probably take me an hour for me to complete this.

Because of this fear, I didn't start right away. I was preparing myself in case I failed. I did a quick research whether it will be worth it.

Some people think it doesn't exert them too much. I encountered one person who actually did it 3-4 times per day because he didn' sweat too much.

He also thinks it doesn't help with weight loss (which is my goal actually), but another person thinks it helps with inch loss.

Tonight, I felt like I was up to it. Follewed the Tabata pace, and guess what, it wasn't that bad! I could never do the push up, but I did the rest of it, and it was actually okay! I didn't even sweat that much. So, I guess, I agree with the online reviews, it shouldn't be your only work out, and this would be good if you are busy and maybe, you are on a holiday etc.

Anyway, I think my mind still thinks I am weak. The work out I've been doing so far, which I don't even do daily, actually have improved my stamina. I realize it, but I keep underestimating my current abilities. The work out I did before would take about one hour long, and usually by the end of it, all I want to do is to lie down (because I'd be so tired). This 7 minute work out is like a baby sister, and I am so surprised that I think that way now. Me before PKP would have just collapsed.

There are several possible reasons why I haven't lost weight yet (I read this online)
- I don't drink enough water (Ramadhan)
- I don't get enough sleep (well, yeah, I like to watch movies after kids are asleep)
- I am gaining muscle mass instead
- I still don't eat healthy

As we all know, prices of designer brands are increasing. Which is so sad, because our Malaysian currency is not doing better for the past few years, and that already makes the products so expensive!

And now, price increment! Banyak pula tu! And I agree with some of the comments that I have chance upon- we don't really mean the price increase if you could offer a better quality, or improvement of some sorts...But, why we should pay more for the exact same items! It's not fair, it is distasteful, and why don't they consider that people are losing money worldwide! Maybe, that's what they are going for: to keep it exclusive, only for the elites to purchase. Ugh.

Okay. So, my plans now are

- buy handbags that I really, really like, strictly classic looking, in only neutral colour. No more paying crazy expensive for stupid canvas, only leather, and to make sure I buy something very durable

- buy good quality leather from small businesses, preferably local

- REALLY considering fakes for shoes. Or not. I don't know. I am torn. I rasa berdosa kalau beli fake. But, I am not going to pay that much anymore for something that might not even comfortable for my feet! Or, just buy Clarks. I love Clarks. Because of the textile linings. I have sweaty soles, so, I love textile linings. But it is so hard to find. I would buy more Bata shoes if they use textile linings, I swear

- boycott Chanel. Paling ridiculous, I tak hingin. I wouldn't be able to justify myself, ever! I want only if it's not so expensive. Hahahaha. Sebenarnya, memang tak mampu. (T ___T)

- to care less about designer brands. Whatever.

Geramnya! Geram, marah and I rasa macam, they do not appreciate their customers. I can foresee the fake industry will become the next big thing. Will I fall for it, though?

If you were depressed, would you want people to find out, or would you want to keep it a secret?

Okay, more specific. Would you want your colleague to know about your depression?

I am new at this place. My team is small. Only 8 people.
There's this girl who is not herself lately.

Well, I am not too affected by it because I thought that's how she is. I don't know how she was before. I don't mind her being distant, quiet and moody, because well, I really don't care as long as nobody disturbs me.

The others started talking about her.
Why is she like that? Did we do something wrong to her?
But, when it  goes on and on, they started to get annoyed.
Why is she like that? She should get a husband. She should find someone who can stand her behaviour.

Anyway, I really can't comment. I just listened.

But, I accidentally saw her records. She has depression and anxiety, and she's on meds. Aahhh...That explains it. There is something wrong with her, but she doesn't do it on purpose (because really, who wants to be depressed?)

I witnessed her becoming anxious one time. She was sitting at her desk, when she suddenly couldn't breath and her hands felt numb. I managed to ask her, and she told me that she panicked.
A few days later, she told me that she was thinking about our colleague's father who recently passed away, maybe she imagined the same would happen to her.

I thought it was best to let the others know. So that we go easy on her.

I have a soft spot for mental illness because so many stigma about it, I feel like I have a responsibility to be extra supportive.

Anyway, I told my other colleagues about her condition
- it's not her fault that she is depressed. And the most important thing is, she recognized that she is not being herself and she is actually getting professional help for herself
- so, maybe, we can show more empathy towards her and don't stress her out so much

That night, I received a text from her closest friend in the department: Please keep this a secret. Don't tell anyone else.

I was a little bit offended. I mean, did he think the reason I told people was to humiliate this girl? No, I want we all to leave her alone. Stop asking why is she like this and like that. There's no answer, she is just depressed. Tapi sekarang, my niat telah disalah ertikan.

Salahke I?
Should I ask her first before disclosing this information?
I really thought if we all knew, we could help her feel better...

Today's Pandai App's questions for BM are better. Not all about digraf and konsonan bergabung, more like the kinds I approve.

Question 5.
Orang utan tinggal di ____
a) hutan
b) rumah
c) kebun

Son answered a.
Good.

Me: Tau tak orang utan tu apa?
Son: Orang asli.
Me: Bukanlah! (Googles pictures of orang utan). Ni ha, orang utan!
Son: Mommy tipulah! Ni bukan orang! Ni animal!
Me: Errr...Tapi nama dia memang orang utan lah...

----

Daughter woke up for sahur. Didn't want to give her screentime so early in the morning. Asked to come closer so she can help me making tea.

Me: Okay, we are going to make tea. Come, help me take out the teabag and put it in the mug.

Daughter followed as intructed.

Me: Look...The teabag is in the mug...
Daughter: Macam kubur je...
Me: Apa dia? Macam kubur?
Daughter: Haa...Macam tempat orang mati tu...

I think what she meant was- the teabag looks like a tombstone.
Oh, my daughter!

----

Part of my son's schoolwork is to watch a Prophet story everyday during month of Ramadhan. One day, one prophet.

Yesterday was the story of Prophet Musa. His teacher gave us the links of Youtube video to watch. So far, the story of Nabi Musa is probably the longest, almost 50 minutes long, it took us two days to finish watching.

Towards the end of the story, Nabi Musa climbed Mount Sinai and God gave him two tablets (of stones).

Upon hearing this, my son said- Ohhh...Allah bagi dia iPad...

Me: Errr...No...Allah bagi dia, macam tablets (lost for words on how to describe things to kids)
Son: Ye lah, tablet tu yang macam iPad lah kan..
Me: Zaman dulu- dulu mana ada iPad! Eh, dah lah, dengar cerita ni sampai habis! Lepas ni kena jawab Quizzizz pula! (Successfully evading from having to explain what tablets of stones are!)

----

Esok I kerja halfday!

I've been lazy. Three days in a row without exercising. What happened to my resolution, eh?

And I also have been putting off my chores of bringing the blankets to the laundry downstairs. Maybe, I will do it tomorrow...

Yesterday, I found out my son couldn't grasp the task of writing Jawi properly. He could read it like a 7 year-old would do (I mean, to me, okay lah, boleh baca surah lazim sikit-sikit), but writing is horrible.

I was thinking of teaching him Jawi, I know it will definitely test my patience, but I always put myself as the standard. I khatam Quran when I was in standard 2, went to sekolah agama when I was 9. Sucked at Jawi, couldn't read and write very poorly, I got number 17 in that class, okay. But picked myself up very quickly when I was 10, always in top 3 of the class after that.

So, okay. Perhaps, I don't need to be so harsh on him.



You know, I downloaded the app Pandai. Haha. Mengharap IQ anak I setaraf genius. -___-

Kangaroo Math- sometimes my son could answer but it took a long time and a lot of explaining.

Beaver computational- Questions are usually very long, even I could lose interest halfway. I usually ask my son to skip the question because it is too advanced for him (and sometimes for me also, I am ashamed to admit, haha).

And I didn't know BM can be tough! Do they really learn these 'digraf', 'konsonan bergabung' and whatnots in school? Okay, I understand maybe they do teach them in school, but do they put them in the question papers like that? So strange and to me, irrelevant.
For BM, I would just leave my son to answer by himself, and wouldn't get too annoyed if he got the wrong answers. Whatever.



Ahhh...Last but not least, my lovely daughter. She usually would automatically stop whatever she was doing whenever I go to 'teacher mode' to her brother. As if, she expects me to pay as much attention to her as I do to her brother. Sometimes, she even asks for homework too.

Still couldn't recognize ABC or 123, but I know she has so much potential in her. I can tell she has a sharp mind.

Anyway, I was feeding her dinner/ buka puasa just now. But, she's a slow eater. So, I rushed her.

Me: Baby H, cepat sikit makan tu. Slow lah awak ni! Mommy pun nak makan juga! Nak kemas dapur lagi!

Baby H: Mommy kan puasa, mana boleh makan!

-___-

Dia nak I puasa sampai ke malam ke...

Wanted to try a recipe
Puding Caramel Guna Blender and No Oven by youtuber limau nipis.

Got all the ingredients ready in the blender.

Lepas tu, blender rosak!

Great. Just great.

Watched a Malay drama with my daughter.
A senile mother calling for her daughter-in-law.

Senile mother: Nak Mira! Nak Mira! *crying like a baby because she's demented*



Daughter: Dia nangis...
Me: Haa...Kenapa dia nangis?
Daughter: Dia nak berak...


Nak Mira! Nak Mira!
Nak berak! Nak berak!

Okay, sounds legit.

One of the things that I am glad we practice in our family is- the act of kissing and hugging are natural.

Something I didn't grow up with.

My family, with Mother, Father and my siblings, we don't show our love...Physically and verbally. Dysfunctional? Maybe not kot...

Two times I remember Father kissed me. One, before PMR, second, before I flew overseas for my tertiery education.

I feel like writing this because my 7 year-old son willingly hugged me just now before his bedtime.

He went through a phase when he didn't like me kissing him or hugging him. But I persevered, you see. One time, I was watching TV, and I called him to come to me. He asked me what I wanted, and I declared that I needed a cuddle, which he reluctantly gave me. Haha.

But he is back to hugging for past 2 weeks, and I really enjoyed it. He doesn't hug his sister though. Typical brother and sister relationship. But Baby H always wants to hug him. They even had a game of kejar-kejar- Baby H chases after him to hug him, while Abang K runs away from her.

I hope we will always hug each other, even when I am old and wrinkly...

Was about to write about my disappointment of not losing weight even after 1 week of exercise, before I realized, it hasn't even been 1 week yet. Hahaha...Sabarlah, Ectopy!

Anyway...

Me during MCO: Yeay, happy no need to buy baju Raya. Besides, I still can't fit into my intended baju Raya. Plus, they are at Mother's house. Even my son's samping. Obviously couldn't go back to take them...

Me when the Government announced shops will be opened: Oh, no...Now, I have to buy baju Raya. I don't want to spend more money on something I already have...

Me when some states decide not to proceed with the conditional MCO: Yeay! Back to not having to shop!

Haish...What is this...Memperkotak-katikkan perasaan I!