Saturday, August 30, 2008

still unsettled.

My niece is too sweet. I watched the Disney Channel with her and saw an ad on Mamee (Monster).

I told her I longed for a packet. She said, "Ye? Dekat sekolah saya ada jual banyak!"
I pretended to gasp, "Ye? Kenapa tak belikan untuk Auntie?"

The next day, she knocked on my door and hopped on my bed, "Auntie, untuk Auntie".

I was so shocked because I had totally forgotten about it and I didn't expect her to buy one for me just because I felt like eating it.

And she bought only one, one for me, because she had just enough money to buy me one, 30 sen! (Plus, she is not a fan anyway.)

Have you ever watched this Halls ad?

My niece and I love the ad so much, everytime it is aired on TV, we would hug each other really tight and say, "Piciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit" or "Squeeeeeeeze" until we are out of breathe.

We do it when we feel like it too, a spur of a moment thing.

It's fun. Sometimes ticklish. We never fail to laugh afterwards.

The niece also asked me how to know when a girl has reached her puberty. I told her, there will be blood.
"And....?" she asked. Then you take wear a pad for about a week.

"But my friend you'd have tummy ache too," she said.
"That only happens sometimes, to some people".

I gave her time for her to explain more about why she was suddenly asking me about this but she didn't say anything, so I asked her why the curiosity.

She said, "I had a tummy ache at school today and my friends thought I was going to have my period".
I just had to laugh at this one.

Kids nowadays mature early, she's only in standard 3 and she and her friends are already talking about menstruation. I didn't know what period was when I was 9!

The next day, I read an article in the newspaper that the average age of puberty for today's generation is 10 for girls. It used to be 12.5 a decade ago!

The thing about me crying in my dream has become a joke. I've reached my fourth time a few days ago and my boyfriend had his first experience two days ago, which made us go, "What the hell is wrong with us! $^%*#%*"

A month ago, my friends and I were going to have a small get-together and one of them, invited his friends along too.

Before his friends (two ladies) agreed, they asked him who will be there, so my friend told them it was gonna be me and our friends.

One of the ladies then replied to him, "Oh, kalau macam tu, tak boleh lah cakap guna 'kau' 'aku', kena guna 'I' 'you'".


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I want a Happy Diamond from Chopard. Sigh. I want to be like a floating diamond. Hah!

I prefer watches than pendants.
My favourites (I don't know how to copy the pictures):
Find me a rich man, please!
So gorgeous, I am in love! Worth every penny!

Monday, August 25, 2008

sleeping and dreaming.

Yesterday, I woke up in tears.

I dreamt I was in a car with my boyfriend driving. He was fasting (he was fasting in real life too, yesterday) and he said he was very hungry.

We were in KL, he was feeling very drowsy and he nearly ran into a girl!

So, I took over the driver seat while the car was moving. I drove in gear 1 all the way to my parents' house (it was nearer to where we were, by the way) because it was not easy to change the gear while you had someone who passed out on your shoulders!

I brought him upstairs and I let him rest in the hall.

When Maghrib came, I woke him up for iftar. He washed his face in the bathroom in my room and performed his prayer afterwards. While he was praying, I used the toilet to refresh myself.

Suddenly, Mother came into my room and she was very mad because I brought a guy into my room (although my boyfriend was praying at that time). I tried to defend myself but my parents kept accusing us of something we did nothing wrong of, so I broke into tears.

I woke up crying.

For the past two weeks, I have been crying in my dreams and waking up crying as well for three times already! This is not normal. The total number of me actually waking up crying is 7 at the most, for the entire years I've been living. So, three times of this incident in just two weeks is definitely not normal for me.

Any meaning behind this?

Maybe I should start seeing a psychologist.

Am I subconsciously unhappy?

I don't know where I heard this before, but there is a theory saying we let out our emotions while sleeping because that's the state when we let our guards down. So, our repressed thinking/ behaviour is being released while sleeping to lift off the burden of stress. That's why sleeping adequately is important and good for our health. Most of the time, we feel refreshed after a good sleep due to this stress-relieving effect.

Most people think we lose consciousness when we sleep, that we have no control whatsoever on our bodies when we sleep. This is not true. Sleeping is a semi-conscious state which explains why we don't fall out of the bed easily when we sleep. We retain some conciousness of our surroundings and we definitely have some control over our movement even though we may not aware of it.

That's why hypnosis, or simply even playing the recorded lecture tapes while sleeping, works.

You could use the same approach to naughty children- Fathers could wait until they are sleeping and recite the Quran or Doa, then put your thumb between eyebrows and blow softly on them and InsyaAllah, they will be more disciplined afterwards.

Have a nice sleep, everyone!

Friday, August 22, 2008

a stranger's kindness.

I like scandals...

Anyway, I have four true stories today! (in chronological order.)

When I was 14 or 15, my bestfriend and I went swimming at a public pool. But on that day, we couldn't get anyone to pick us up.

It was around 4pm, we decided to start walking. The pool was quite far from the main road and it was definitely far from our homes! Our plan was to walk to the main road and maybe take a cab from there.

A few minutes after we walked, a car stopped and offered us a ride. We knew we shouldn't talk to strangers but we were desperate. The walk to the main road was not only far, but we had to pass a quiet area which was pretty dangerous too.

Anyway, we accepted his offer. He told us he saw us swimming and we were actually in the same pool. We didn't notice him though. He said he was a cameraman for some local dramas.

I remember feeling anxious and nervous. We told the driver to stop at the shops quite far from our houses (because we thought it was dangerous to let a stranger know where your house is).

He dropped us and we said thank you.

Now, how many of us would invite strangers or even kids into your car?

After that experience, I told myself I would invite school children who walk under the hot sun or under the rain and send them home safe and sound after I obtain my driving license.

But so far, I haven't done it yet because I never see children in need! Mana ada budak jalan kaki sekarang, semua naik kereta, paling tidak pun, orang gaji datang ambil...

One day, my friends were hanging out at a shopping mall when they saw a child, about 5 0r 6 years old, crying. He said he was lost. He came to the mall with his brother and my friends and the boy couldn't find him. "Do you know your home address?" my friends asked. The boy nodded.

So, my friends hailed a cab and went to his house. They were charged RM4 for the ride and it was pretty expensive for us in those days.

My friends knocked on the door and a boy, about 18 or 19 years old (we were 16) opened the door. My friends explained to him the situation- that they found his brother crying and alone at the mall.

All the boy said was, "Okay" and pushed the boy inside.


Lepas tu, my friends went home la. Nak buat apa lagi.

A few years back, I was approached by a foreigner. She spoke very little English but she tried very hard to explain to me her situation.

Basically, she was desperate and already had been stranded for more than 24 hours. She needed money and lucky her, I had enough cash to lend to her.

I don't know what got into me but I completely trusted her. About RM1000 of cash was given, I even sent her to her sister's apartment. I gave her my number because I expected my money to be returned. She was supposed to arrange a meeting with me to give me back my money as promised.

That night before I went to bed, I realised what a fool I had been. I should have taken something valuable from her, such as her ID, just in case. To make myself feel better, I prepared myself if she didn't try to get in touch with me- It was just money, redha sajalah...

Thank God, the very next day, she did give me a call. She kept her promise and I didn't suffer any loss at all. In fact, I felt quite good for helping her out.

I reminded my boyfriend not to sit next to a girl in the plane.

After he settled a couple hours later, he called and said, "Don't worry, honey," he sat next to two German male tourists.

The German tourists were on his way to Perhentian Island. After the plane landed, they asked him how to get to the town but my boyfriend said, "Nevermind, let me send you there".

I told my boyfriend he should have brought them to try the local dish first before sending them to the hotel. "And how come these Germans were not afraid of you?" My boyfriend answer was simple, "Perompak tak naik kapal terbang".

Now everybody, I would like us all be friendly and helpful Malaysians!

Monday, August 18, 2008


Malin Kundang is Indonesian version equivalent to Malaysian Si Tanggang.

I watched a scene in an Indonesian drama series, about a bachelor in his 40s or 50s. His mother is very concerned about this and began to search for a suitable candidate to be his wife. He was unhappy about it.

Son: Saya tidak mahu ibu mencarikan jodoh untuk saya!
Mom: Kamu jangan derhaka sama ibu! Kamu mahu jadi seperti Malin Kundang? Aku akan sumpah kamu, tapi bukan jadi batu! Jadi sotong!
Son: Jika ibu sumpah saya jadi sotong, ibu itu akan jadi, ibunya kepada sotong!
Mom: (Make faces)

Hahahahaha. I am easily amused nowadays...

Aznil: Secretary tu apa?
Boy: Setiausaha.
Aznil: Setiausaha selalunya laki ke perempuan?
Boy: Perempuan.
Aznil: Kalau perempuan, kita panggil secretary, kalau lelaki kita panggil apa?
Boy: (Silence)
Aznil: Kalau lelaki, kita panggil se-cu-ri-ty!

Hahahahaha. Yeap, easily amused!

(Johny Depp: Sudah tua tapi tetap tampan, wow!)

Soon after MTV Awards was aired ages ago, my boyfriend kept talking how stylish Johny Depp was when he received the award, with his belt buckle at the side, not in the middle as it is traditionally worn.

We've never seen anyone wearing the belt like that in Malaysia yet.

A few days ago, he saw a Mat Salleh wearing his belt exactly like how Johny Depp had worn. In Malaysia.

So, if you guys see a Malay guy in his mid-30s wearing his belt with the buckle at the side, you know who he is. Please don't laugh at him if he looks ridiculous/ weird, I know he is not as good-looking as Johny Depp, but I sure hope he could pull it off.

Although I am glad to have someone who dressed appropriately, but sometimes, it disturbs me to have a fashion-forward boyfriend.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

the best medicine for my broken heart.

I was really upset yesterday, too upset that I needed to wear my shades to cover my red eyes, looking down most of the time while having late lunch with my boyfriend. If I wore a black scarf, I'd look like one of those women attending Syariah Court.

My boyfriend tried very hard to cheer me up. He caused it and he knew how stubborn and egoistic I can be. He finally decided to just shut up and let me be upset.

After a few moments, he said, "You tau tak, isteri kawan I gemuk gila. Kawan I tu kurus saja, macam I," showing his little finger.

I glared at him. He smiled and said, "Betul, sayang! Gemuk gila! Kalau dia naik motor dengan isteri dia, tak nampak langsung badan kawan I tu!"

At this point, I just burst into laughters. I found it so funny, funnier because I saw the eagerness in his facial expressions to tell this random topic to talk about while I was being upset. Like, why are you telling me this?

"Haaa...Senyum pun," he said in relief to see me smiling. I continued to eat my Swedish meal.

He watched me eat. Suddenly, he continued his story, "Lepas tu, sayang, kawan I cerita, kalau kawan I gaduh dengan isteri dia, kawan I cakap, 'You ni dah lah gemok! Habis pancit tayar motor aku!'".

I laughed.

"Lepas tu, isteri dia pula jawab, 'Oh...Masa siang kau cakap aku gemok...Bila malam, kau cakap aku sexy!'"


I'm all better after that. No need mushiness to cheer this girl up. :)

undilah saya.

Early in the morning one day, my boyfriend gave me a call and asked me to wish him good luck because according to him, "Hari ni I bertanding".

I thought he wasn't serious, probably referring 'I bertanding' as 'my team bertanding' but after he quickly explained that he was really competing, I was shocked.

I knew he was pretty busy lately with the campaign and all but I had absolutely no idea he was competing for a post. He was always telling me he was the backbone for his friends for business opportunities, never the frontman. Nevertheless, I gave him my full support, advised him to study his opponent/s and restrained further questions (like why wasn't I informed about this earlier?) because I didn't want to stress him.

Later that night, he called me up to tell me he won.

He also told me that the situation got heated that police had to be on the watch. The funny thing was, the police got into the wrong place.

The mini election was held in a balai raya. A nearby house was having kenduri arwah. Police came to the house instead and caused a stir because the people in the house thought the police wanted to arrest them for illegal/ underground Islamic movement such as Al-Arqam or Ayah Pin's Sky Kingdom!

My boyfriend even received a threat from his opponent. His opponent came up to him and said directly to his face, "Competing against me is like committing suicide".

"See, that's why I don't want you to be involved in politics. I fear for your safety. You might be killed or thrown into the jail, it's a dangerous world!" I said.
"Politics take so much time. It's endless. And you have to this for the right reason, you have to do this for the people. You jangan buat ni dengan niat yang salah," I continued to say.

My boyfriend said he was doing for the people because the previous man (who threatened my boyfriend) was an opportunist and he is selfish and unhelpful. There was this old guy wanting just a signature from him but he refused to sign it causing the old man.....I forgot the rest of the story. Probably about his son or money for his son's education or something like that.

The conversation was cut short because his friend informed him that the people in the team were now fighting for the positions of their choice.

"I thought you guys already discussed who's who," I voiced out what I knew.

"Memang sudah...Entah kenapa nak rombak semula. Memang betullah cakap you, main politik ni pening kepala. Dah menang pun gaduh lagi!" he said before hanging up the phone.

Father is so gonna flipped when he finds out about my boyfriend's activities. He hates politicians.

I was having a conversation with my boyfriend on the phone and the line was not very clear.

"You buka tingkap kereta ke? Kenapa you buka tingkap? I tak dengar lah apa you cakap..." I complained.

"Tak apalah...Senang sikit I nak angkat tangan kalau jumpa orang kampung...Hehehehe..."

Hahahahaha. Ade ke orang nak Tok Wakil perasan macam ni?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

updated: i am a murderer.

of 26 unfortunate mosquitoes last night.

Look at my collection dead mosquitoes.

God, I really need to get a life.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

nyamuk mati.

Puas hati dapat bunuh 13 nyamuk dalam satu malam! (Actually, 14 mosquitoes, but I dropped the evidence and I couldn't find it)
I was being quite reasonable, you know. I killed one and gently put it on the palm of my right hand, hoping the others would see it and stop sucking out my blood. But no...These mosquitoes were dumb, they still wanted me, so I killed them all by clapping my hands together.
I am proud because I did not use any Ridsect or Fumakilla that are harmful to the environment.
I usually just pushed them away because I didn't have the heart to kill them. I kept thinking, what if I was a mosquito and someone just slapped me dead? But I couldn't stand it anymore after nights of becoming the victim of these little creatures, God, forgive me!
This makes me look like a weird, lonely girl who is obsessed with dead mosquitoes.
I am not weird. Tonight is just one of those nights when you just explode.

Saturday, August 9, 2008


"I am quite sure your parents will reject my parents' proposal if I sent them to your house," said my boyfriend a few weeks ago. "Malu parents I nanti," he continued.

Although it is possible, I want him to put a little bit more faith that this will work out in the end.

Last night, we were arguing. I told him what most people think about us. He said, "Why are your friends so negative?"

"No, my friends are not negative, you are!"

"I am not being negative at all," he told me.

"You are. You said you were sure my parents would never accept you. How do you know? You are not putting enough effort into this. You, coward!"

He denied he was a coward and explained the reasons why he thought and behaved that way. Finally, he said he has full confidence that my parents simply cannot reject him.

Deep inside my heart, I wish it was true, I wish I could believe him 100%.

You know, I read a blog and she wrote something like this, "There are three true happiness in our life, the day we were born, the day we get married and the day we die."
Hmm...That sounds weird, you'd be happy when you die? I probably got the wrong quote. Ah, but the quote went something like that lah!

Anyway, she wrote, "I told my parents, I cannot get to choose how or when I was born and Allah will decide on my death. So, let me have my own wedding, the way I want it to be."

Maybe I should tell my parents that.

Or do like my friend did. She told her father, "Tanggungjawab seorang ayah ialah menikahkan anak perempuannya apabila sudah sampai masanya!"
But I don't think I have the heart to say that to Father.
Nak kena tembak?

Maybe, I am the coward here.

Or perhaps I should tell my parents about the article I read in Utusan Online, something about it's more wajib to use the money for children's marriages, than to use it for Hajj because Hajj is compulsory for only those who could afford it.
It's irrelevant in my case because my parents already performed their Hajj before I even reached puberty.

Anyway, speaking of Hajj, a friend told me about a contest for Malaysian Muslims and the prizes were fully sponsored Umrahs. All you needed to do is complete a slogan.
One woman sent in her contest form with a slogan, "Saya mahu pergi menunaikan Umrah di Mekah kerana...saya mahu berdoa di depan Kaabah agar anak saya tidak jadi berkahwin dengan perempuan pilihan hatinya."

She won. Ini merupakan cerita dari mulut ke mulut so I don't know the authenticity of this story. If this really happened; Hey, she won!

propose to me.

I told my boyfriend about this Dahlie's surprise proposal. Actually, I always tell my boyfriend about the proposals that I know of just to drop hints to him that I really want one too (I think he already gets it by now, kalau blur lagi, memang dasar otak lembab!). I carefully told him that he cannot duplicate any of the proposals that I've told him about, he has to come up with his own creativity to surprise me.

Anyway, I ended the story about Dahlie's proposal with, "Auuwww...Sweeeeeet kan?"

To his defence, he immediately said, "Sorrylah, sayang. I tak romantik...I memang tak romantik...But I gave you __(insert fancy gifts in the blank)__ kan?"

I was bewildered, "What? Those gifts are just gifts! I cannot tell other people about them!"

"Why not?" he asked.

"Sebab nanti orang cakap I ni berlagak dapat fancy gifts from you! But kalau you romantic, I can brag all I want, I can share my happiness with my friends. Other people can always top your fancy gifts, it's not like you gave me a car or something...Besides, kasih sayang you untuk I kan 'tidak ternilai' harganya!"

He agreed.

I'm surprised he didn't think of it earlier. I wanna give him a smack in the head.

Thursday, August 7, 2008


Am I stubborn for deciding to stand by him? Am I foolish?

It looks like many want me to break it off with him. The problem is, the majority of these people do not know him like I do, half of them haven't even met/ talk to him yet!

I used to stereotype his kind too, but my perspective changed after I met him.

The people, family and friends (and their families too, can you believe it!), the young and the elderly, I know they meant well, to protect me from harm. Some experienced it themselves, some even came from the same kind (now changed), but somehow, they still can't convince me to leave.

How can I walk away from him when I don't have a concrete reason to do so?

He is not bad, he does not abuse me, he does not even smoke, all he does is to love me. Why is it wrong for me to be happy with him?

And I am sure his kind isn't all that bad. Kenapa sebab nila setitik, mesti rosak susu sebelanga? Aren't we all the same?

On the other hand, I don't want to be the person everybody will be pointing his finger at and snickered, saying, "Hah! I told you so, but you never listened!"

Am I blinded by love? Or am I being too optimistic? Or am I simply holding on to something that won't happen, won't change?

But it's wrong to judge a book by its cover. That, I know.

I am happy now. Is this two-year-happiness just a phase? Will it get worse if I stay? Am I being too hopeful?
I know I'd be miserable if I lose him. Will I ever move on if we can't be together?

I hate influences. They make me doubt the choice I've made, the decision I thought is best for me.

I don't know now.

I am not asking for him to change. I've accepted him, I like him the way he is, but why can't they? There's really nothing wrong with him!

Dilemma, dilemma...

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


Puasa nak dekat. Dah ganti puasa, dah bayar fidyah? My boyfriend helped to pay for my fine, I know I can always rely on him to do things like this.

My boyfriend gets really sensitive when he knows someone is condemning our relationship or me. Once, a friend told him that I am not good because of the work that I do and my appearance. My boyfriend snapped, "Tahulah isteri kau tu kerani saja..." thinking he was jealous of us. It caught me by surprise because my boyfriend is usually very polite...

A Chinese man started his company with only RM5000 when he was 35 years old. He is now in his sixties and the business is doing very well.
During a meeting with him, someone asked him, why a Malay is unlikely to be as successful?
He said, "Melayu ni boros. Tak boleh pegang duit banyak-banyak". We laughed.
Memang betul pun kot...

A: Aku nak beli kereta X atau kereta Y. Kenapa kau tak tukar kereta Nasional kau tu?
B: Buat apa kereta mahal-mahal...
A: Ala, untuk kepuasan hidup...
B: Bagi aku, kepuasan hidup ialah hidup dengan tenang, tak payah fikir tentang berhutang dengan sesiapa...
A: (Senyap)

Guess which one I am in love with? :)

Saturday, August 2, 2008


At the company my boyfriend is working at, most of the workers are poor construction workers (tukang/ buruh).

Just now, my boyfriend left his mobile phone at home because he went for a jog. He returned home to see seven missed calls from a 'tukang'. Soon, his friend called him to tell him one of the tukangs is desperate.

The tukang is a relatively young guy, recently married and has a three-month-old child. For a few months already, this tukang always requets extra money claiming his baby is sick.

So, my boyfriend told him to go to a panel clinic. He was then referred to a hospital and the baby is diagnosed with leukaemia.

He called just now to tell my boyfriend that he has no money left. He can't even afford to buy food for him and his wife.

My boyfriend and his friend paid them a visit at the hospital to give them some money and food. They wanted to know the condition of the baby and how much would it cost for the medical treatment but there was no doctor around during that time.

I nearly cried when I found out about it.

Looking on the bright side, babies with cancers usually have good prognosis.

My boyfriend sometimes tells me funny stories about the tukangs.

One of the tukangs is an elderly man. He does not need to work because he is rich enough, but him being the type who could not stay still, decides to work at the company as a tukang.

His wife sells jewelries.

One day, my boyfriend visited the tukang at his house and met his wife.

"Wah...Akak jual barang kemas ye? Banyaknya barang kemas akak...Berapa ni?" my boyfriend asked when he saw the wife wearing all sorts of jewelries on her.

"Oh, yang ini RM12 000, yang ini RM 3000..." she said, explaining one by one.

The jewelries she wore were RM150 000 in total.

"Wah, RM150 000! Akak tak simpan dalam bank ke?" my boyfriend asked.

"Buat apa simpan dalam bank, akak nak pakai semua ni..." she said.