Thursday, August 7, 2008

decision.

Am I stubborn for deciding to stand by him? Am I foolish?

It looks like many want me to break it off with him. The problem is, the majority of these people do not know him like I do, half of them haven't even met/ talk to him yet!

I used to stereotype his kind too, but my perspective changed after I met him.

The people, family and friends (and their families too, can you believe it!), the young and the elderly, I know they meant well, to protect me from harm. Some experienced it themselves, some even came from the same kind (now changed), but somehow, they still can't convince me to leave.

How can I walk away from him when I don't have a concrete reason to do so?

He is not bad, he does not abuse me, he does not even smoke, all he does is to love me. Why is it wrong for me to be happy with him?

And I am sure his kind isn't all that bad. Kenapa sebab nila setitik, mesti rosak susu sebelanga? Aren't we all the same?

On the other hand, I don't want to be the person everybody will be pointing his finger at and snickered, saying, "Hah! I told you so, but you never listened!"

Am I blinded by love? Or am I being too optimistic? Or am I simply holding on to something that won't happen, won't change?

But it's wrong to judge a book by its cover. That, I know.

I am happy now. Is this two-year-happiness just a phase? Will it get worse if I stay? Am I being too hopeful?
I know I'd be miserable if I lose him. Will I ever move on if we can't be together?

I hate influences. They make me doubt the choice I've made, the decision I thought is best for me.

I don't know now.

I am not asking for him to change. I've accepted him, I like him the way he is, but why can't they? There's really nothing wrong with him!

Dilemma, dilemma...

5 comments:

miss sha said...

Listen to your heart...and then try to influence people around you to agree with your choice/decision...because i was thinking of doing that,what do u think?

PingganRahangRaksasa said...

No. DON'T LEAVE HIM. It's you who gonna live with him not them. I know this is a matter of family and all, and worst, parents. you might think, "my parents raised me all this while and i just know him for few years" but still, he's your happiness. just love him, take a good care of him and at the same time, convince EVERYBODY that he can make you happy. There's always room for that. always. You sendiri tau there's nothing wrong with him, and he's a good guy, yes? so don't leave him sbb satu hari, orang semua akan sedar that he IS a good guy.

As long as you know he won't hurt you, just stay.

pel.

hanakirana said...

kalau dah buat satu2 decision tu, stick to it no matter what. tapi sebelum buat decision, mintaklah petunjuk daripada-Nya. kalau Dia dah tunjuk kat u yang ur bf is the best for you, then tetapkan hati dan fikiran.. Mintak bantuan-Nya untuk ditetapkan hati.

been a silent reader all this while. :)

gravtkills said...

its yr life and u have to accept the consequences of yr decision...whatever that may be

the ectopy said...

thanx. yeah, its my life. maybe i know what im doing.