1)
At my parents' house, I browsed through an old highschool album.

For the first time in my life, I think I was not a bad looking girl. Cute jugak ape...

Stupid boys...How can they not fall for this face, huh!

2)
Me: Abang, cantik tak Rozita Che Wan ni?
Husband: Oh...Ni lah Rozita Che Wan...Ni anak Chef Wan tu eh?
Me: (Slaps forehead)

3)
Me: Okay, nak tengok Final Destination 5 ke, Conan the Barbarian ke, The Smurfs?
Friend: Tak nak tengok The Smurfs!
Husband: Kita tengok Conan the Barbarian lah...
Me: Final Destination lah best!
Husband: Final Destination yang first je yang best...Cerita pasal Lailatul Qadar.
Me: Cerita pasal Qada' dan Qadar lah!!!

4)
Me: Kalau you tak sampai esok, siap you! I mengamuk!
Husband: Mana boleh mengamuk! Syurga you di bawah tapak kaki I!
Me: Oh...Syurga I di bawah tapak kaki you...Syurga you tu dekat bawah sini juga...
Husband: Memang pun...Bawah tu syurga dunia I...(Evil laugh)

My husband always regards my pussy as his heaven.
:D

5)
I met an old friend because he came back for a short Raya holiday.

Me: So, who have you met today? Or, who else are you planning to meet today?
Friend: I have met Rina. We had coffee in KL Sentral.
Me: Then, where is she?
Friend: She had to go somewhere.

Rina is our mutual friend whose profession is the same like mine.

Friend: So, how's work?
Me: Okay lah...Not too bad.
Friend: Rina complained a lot.
Me: About her clients?
Friend: No. Generally. She complains about the system and macam-macam lah.
Me: I see...

At that point, it hits me: There's nothing sexy about complaining.

I am meeting an old friend and I definitely don't want him to remember me as someone who likes to complain.

Let this be a reminder for me.

6)
Last Friday, my husband went for his Solat Jumaat and came home really late.

I called and called but he did not pick up his phone.

Finally, at 2.45pm, he came home and I was so angry at that time, ready to throw tantrums.

He was oblivious about my anger, so he didn't expect my fierceness.

Me: You pergi mana!
Husband: Pergi sembahyang lah.
Me: Kenapa tak angkat phone!
Husband: Oh, sorry, sorry, tak dengar.
Me: You pergi mana?
Husband: Abang makan tadi.

Me: Makan! You makan! Habis you tak fikir isteri you tak makan!
Husband: Abang lapar tadi. Kawan ajak makan.
Me: Habis I tunggu you lama-lama buat apa!
Husband: Okay, cepat, abang teman you makan.
Me: I tak nak you teman I makan, I nak you makan sekali lah!

Me: Apasal tak boleh nak SMS cakap you balik lambat! Apa guna handphone tu kalau tak guna! Apa guna you bawa kalau you silent kan handphone tu!
Husband: Sembahyang tadi kena silent.
Me: Masa makan tadi tak ingat I langsung! I tak kira, I nak you makan dengan I!

Husband: Ha, okaylah...Cepat, ambil pinggan tu.
Me: I nak you hidangkan untuk I.
Husband: Okay, dah.
Me: You nak makan sangat kan tadi? Lapar sangat kan tadi? I nak you habiskan nasi atas pinggan you tu. I tak kisah!
Husband: Tapi ni banyak sangat ni. I dah kenyang.
Me: I tak kisah. Siapa suruh you pergi makan tak beritahu I!

Husband: I kenyang ni...
Me: Kalau you tak makan, I tak nak makan!

Husband: Okay, I makan ni...

And that's how a controlling wife punish her husband- feed him sampai meletup perut.

Garang gila nak mampus I ni!