Hello, hello!

Setiap kali nak tulis, tiba-tiba jadi busy, or, tiba-tiba takde mood.

And I just recovered from a bad case of diarhhoea and vomiting.
Even vomited in my car and on my bed, I tell you!
Braced the symptoms for 2 days. Came to work on the third day, feeling all weak, and finally decided to see the doctor for a well-deserved MC.
Weighed myself and I am now 44kg!

OMG! Terkejut badak I!

Patutlah semua seluar dah longgar londeh.

When was the last time I weighed this much? When I was 14, maybe. It had always been around 50kg, yo-yoing between 48 to 52kg. And I was happy with that weight. My husband was very happy when I was 52kg.

Badan memang sedap-sedap gebu gebu gitu...Pipi plump and full gitu...(Or maybe because I was firmer due to the fact I was younger at that time?)

44kg tinggal tulang rangka je lah oiiii...Thank you breastfeeding, it's all your fault Baby K...

Kena makan banyak banyak.
But my appetite hasn't fully recovered yet. Lapar, memang lapar. Tapi tak lalu makan...

Oh, well...
The important thing is, thank God it was me who suffered from the infection instead of my baby!

Just now, my staff asked me, "Miss, macam mana nak jadi kurus?"

Me: Breastfeeding.
Staff: Tak ada baby lah...
Me: Anak umur berapa?
Staff: Anak umur 5 tahun.
Me: Haaa...Kena tambah lagi lah tu...
Staff: Tak ada rezeki lah, Miss...Saya dah berpisah dengan suami saya...
Me: Ooohhh...Anak duduk mana?
Staff: Anak duduk dengan suami dekat Kedah.
Me: Haaa...Jauhnya...Bila boleh jumpa?
Staff: Jumpa setahun sekali je...

Oh, sebaknya! Okay, mula-mula tak sebak sebab tak nak emo. But, when I was taking a shower just now, I kept thinking about it and it made me cry...

Like, eh, how come the child is with the husband when the mother carried the child for 9 months and gave birth to the child!

Then again, it is not really my place to judge lah. Perhaps, it is better that way. Susah jadi single mother. Lagi susah bila berjauhan dengan anak. Dah lah anak kecikkkkk lagi...

So, I doakan, agar anak my staff tu sentiasa sayang and hargai mak dia, and grow up to be understanding walaupun dapat jumpa setahun sekali je...

Ah, sedihnya...

Anyway...I tak pernah take as long as this to recover. Usually, 3 hari maksimum. Ni dah nak masuk seminggu, I am still not 100% myself.

Is there a possibility I'm pregnant?

Low. We've used precautions and it's not like we do it regularly (LDR sucks).

I can check...But I'm scared...

I'm scared if I am indeed pregnant. Am I ready?
And I'm also scared if I am not! Because I'd be disappointed. And that's why I've been delaying the pregnancy test...Esoklah okay? Tak ada masa nak pergi pharmacy nak beli the pregnancy kit lah...!

And...I'm also scared if I am pregnant and I might offend my sister who is still not pregnant yet.
We are not very close but I do care and I don't want to hurt her feelings lah okay.
I know she wants a child really bad...
She's been having medical check-ups and stuff...
And as much as I know she shouldn't be stressing too much about it because, alaaaa...Baru 2 tahun kahwin! Relax lah dulu...
But I know she couldn't help but be bothered about it (of course, because I was in her shoes before!)
And...The fact the guy who used to really fancy her and really went after her and really won Mother's heart (but not my sister's) got married and they too just had a beautiful baby and flaunting her on Facebook.
It must be difficult for my sister.



Oh. And last but not least...Bridesmaids...

Haha.

So, there's this girl who's getting married and she recruited her entourage of bridesmaids...And, I so happen to know that some of her bridesmaids are, well, not worthy to become her bridesmaids.
Because, her bridesmaids don't even like this girl!

They even bad mouthed her bla bla bla...You know, that sort of things...

I didn't have bridesmaids.
Mainly because my wedding was very low-key. And, I don't have too many girlfriends...
My sister was my pengapit.

And I always thought bridesmaids are supposed to be, you know, the bride's BFF, through thick and thin!

Berlakon je semua tu eh? It's just for show?

Hhhmmm...

Ataupun, my other theory is, it's a one-way relationship. The bride thinks they are her BFF, and has no idea what's going on behind her back. But, still, if you're not a hypocrite, just turn down the invitation lah kan...

I'm too old for the drama lah.

And I am never a bridesmaid! Can you believe it? A prove that I live in my own world...

Kesian pulak I rasa diri I ni...