The pills.

I have an appointment with the doctor after this.

I don't know, whether, should I or should I not, at the same time, request for contraceptive pills.
I am going to be married soon, and I don't want to become pregnant. You want me to beheaded by my parents?!

I told a friend about this. I said I want the pills simply because it's good for the body. It improves problematic skin and it regulates the period cycles. She doesn't know I want it as a contraceptive.
Her response was: "It'll make you fat"

I know that some people complains the pills make them fat, but I don't know whether to believe it. Fat. They complain donating blood make them fat too, but I know that is a total bullshit.

I've talked to my boyfriend and he said he doesn't want me to take the pills. Simply because he believes it is not good for me because I've never been pregnant before.
"What if I get pregnant?"
"I won't ejaculate inside you"
"Condoms are not 100% effective," I argued.

Deep in my heart, I want to get pregnant. I love babies. It is probably my time, my maternal instinct has kicked in. But, my rational says I should have some sort of family planning.

Ooohh...And I want to know how it feels like when my husband ejaculate inside me!

Our scheduled marriage is being postponed again. My boyfriend is busy and there's a third party who makes it more difficult for us to be discrete about our 'niat suci murni' (getting married is niat suci murni, right?)

I've improved my doa: Ya Allah, permudahkanlah amal kebaikanku, jauhkanlah aku dari kemaksiatan.