Tuesday, June 17, 2008

bukan perempuan biasa.

An ex-fling who I believe still in love with me (perasan sekejap) is asking a friend of mine for my current address.

My friend refused his request by lying to him. He told my friend that he has things to give to me.
(Perasan lagi) I believe he wants to post my birthday present. I remember his first gift for me was four years ago, for my birthday, a watch, which I tried to return to him because I thought it was a tad too expensive for a first gift when I was not that close to him yet and I know I would not spend that much just to return his kindness. (When someone give you an expensive gift, you are automatically burdened by the pressure to match his present, aren't you?) Plus, I know he couldn't afford that watch anyway! I took the watch back after he said: 'If you didn't accept my gift, I will throw it away. I'm not taking back what I had given to you.'

Later, I learnt what Mother told me is true. Don't accept an expensive gift because that someone might want something in return. Mother said: 'Kalau tak ada duit, nanti nak bayar balik dengan apa? Terhutang budi, nanti body yang tergadai.'

After 2 and half years, I finally managed to get rid of him.

Sometimes, men think women would be flattered if they shower us with expensive gifts.
Sometimes, men think women would be flattered knowing the men have gone that far to make the women happy.
Sometimes, men think women appreciate it when they are willing to do whatever it takes to make the women feel special.

I don't know about other women out there, but I certainly don't belong to this group.

Of course I want my man to make me happy and feel special, but I want him to know his limits.

I want a man who can think, who knows how to manage his money, who is not blindly fooled and manipulated by love or lust.

When a man spends his money on a girl more than he can afford, I think of how could I live with him knowing his priorities are all wrong.

When a man purposely humiliate himself just because the girl asks him to, thinking she will be impressed with his I-would-do-anything-I-mean-anything-just-for-you stunt, I think if this man cannot respect himself first, how could he respect me and others later in life? Have some dignity! I certainly don't want a foolish slave who only do cannot think or decide for himself as my life partner! Who is not manly enough, who only waits for my instructions to get anything done, who cannot stand up for himself, how can he protect and stand up for me in the future? I want a man who could be the leader in my future family. I want someone who could keep me interested because he has his opinions that may or not differ from mine.

When a man threatens to hurt or kill himself just to prove how much he loves the woman, I think of how weak this man is. He is selfish and immature. I want a man who knows how to solve problems and knows how to handle stress.

So, no, I will not be flattered by all that. Don't be such an idiot.
I will be impressed by you and you only.

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