I've been meaning to update this blog because I've promised an elaboration on my last post.
But, my boyfriend and I are on the rocks right now, and I want to ask his opinions on the matters first before writing an essay about it. I want to know how his mind works. So, I guess, the next worthy post is postponed until we reach an agreement, okay?
Today, I spent the day alone. I needed it but it didn't help much because my boyfriend was still getting on my nerves and I ended up splurging on make-ups. I don't know when will I ever use them, though.
I am big fan of make-ups but I don't really use them due to the time constraint. I am always on the run, and whenever I want to make myself pretty, I need at least 30 minutes.
Anyway, while walking on the streets, a man stopped me and said he didn't have money and needed money to go home and he asked me for RM10. He talked quite fast in English.
I was going to say "No" because this might be a scam but I surrended my RM15.
I asked him, "What happened to you? How much do you need?"
He said he needed RM35 but if I was able to give RM10, it was good enough for him.
I didn't stay to have a long conversation with him, I didn't have the mood to talk so I walked away after he thanked me.
I hope my RM15 will help him. I know if I rejected his request, I wouldn't feel this good for the rest of the week.
Actually, the guy who stopped me for money wasn't the first one asking me for help today. A woman asked me for a direction to a bar which I never heard of. Last week, a woman who didn't speak English nor Malay asked me to help her with her groceries (don't ask me how did I manage to understand her, it was a miracle). In all three occasions, my mind really wandered to somewhere out of this world and I didn't really care about my surroundings. The woman who asked for my direction had to touch me to bring me back to reality and repeated her question. I had to apologize to her because I ignored her unintentionally at first. That bad...But, if you saw me lost in my own world, why did you choose me?
I am glad whenever I feel down, there are still strangers who are not afraid to talk to me. Which means
1) I am good at masking my emotions. (Yay/ Nay?)
2) I have a naturally friendly, easy to approach face. (Yay!)
3) I am lonely. People are generally afraid of a crowd, that's why they see lonely people as preys. (Nay)
4) Or because they felt attracted to me because I wore a purple top with a blue scarf around my neck and a pair of black three-quarter trousers and I was carrying a huge, orange handbag. I felt like I was in Carrie Bradshaw minus the coat. (Yay! Because I nailed it! Otherwise, I'd be looking weird, they would be afraid to approach me)
Sometimes, whenever I go out alone, I hope my life would be like a movie. You know, I sip my cup of tea alone in a nice little coffee shop (why would I sip tea in a coffee shop?) and a charming, handsome man gentlemanly introduced himself to me and we would hit off and that's the beginning of a beautiful realtionship.
Although I have a boyfriend now, I don't mind making him jealous and insecure every now and then. :)
However, to achieve that, I have to be attractive which I am not. Wait, let me re-phrase that, I am attractive (siapa lagi nak puji kalau bukan diri sendiri) but I am not too attractive up to the point men cannot resist me!
Oh, well, I guess I have to settle with the lady with the face of a helper. As long as nobody is taking advantage on me...
I want to believe people come up to me because I look genuinely nice.
39 minutes ago