Saturday, February 16, 2008

Ghosts

Overheard

Parent: Eeee...Tengok orang tu pakai tudung labuh macam hantu kum kum...
Child: Aaaahhhh (cries)

Hantu kum kum tu ape eh?

I am more afraid of hantu tetek.

Why are most ghosts women? Why can't it be a man? Discrimination!
Why is there a hantu tetek, but there's no hantu konek?

If hantu tetek hides you between her breasts, hantu konek could hide you between his balls.

When I was little, my friend told me hantu tetek would go from one house to another asking for milk for her baby. Eh, I think that's hantu susu! What's so scary about hantu susu?

What's the difference between hantu tetek and hantu susu?

So, where does hantu tetek come from? And why does hantu tetek like to abduct people who play hide and seek at dusk?

If there was a hantu konek, what would you say he came from?
I'd say he was a man who liked to screw around, one day, his jealous wife killed him by cutting his penis off. Imagine: Blood, gore and horror screams. Then, he haunts anybody who are unfaithful!

Mother was convinced her cousin was hidden by a hantu tetek when she was small. Everybody searched for her cousin, but they couldn't find her. After a few hours, they found her behind a door, all pale and weak. She said she heard them calling for her and she screamed for them too, but nobody listened. The weird thing was, they searched behind the door for so many times, but she wasn't there!

Mother also told us she saw toyols before. A bunch of naked boys, green and bald at her uncle's house.

Oh, we never heard of a girl toyol before, do we?

Classic ghost stories that have been circulating around boarding schools since like, forever:

1) Don't go to the toilet alone at night. One student went alone to brush his teeth, and he saw a ghost in the mirror, brushing her teeth with a knife. Blood all over the place.

Why must ghosts wear white? To contrast in the dark so you could see them better? So you could see the red blood against the white colour? Because they are buried with white clothes?

2) A ghost on the cupboard, counting, "Satu sudah tidur, dua sudah tidur, tiga sudah tidur...Empat su, eh, empat pura-pura tidur! Hahahaha (evil laugh)".

3) A group of friends decided to prank their dormmates. One pretended to be a hantu pocong aka hantu bungkus. After being scolded by the teacher, they decided to un-tie the white bedsheet, and the friend was missing. Until now. Some say he was abducted into alam jin.

4) You sleep here, you wake up there. (Often experienced in a jungle)

5) Possession.

I never experienced anything supernatural before, except once kena tindih when I was 15. I didn't have a clue what was happening to me, I couldn't move, I thought I was going to die, I kept reciting the Ayat Kursi.
I remember thinking to myself, "Why can't I scream? Am I going to die? I don't want to die! But what would I die of? I am healthy. Is this how it feels? Tuhan cakap nak cabut nyawa from the toes! But my toes are fine. So, I am not going to die. No, I am not going to die. Why am I thinking too much? Start reciting surah surah!".
Tengah panic tapi masih mampu berfikir secara rational.
One year later, a friend describing the same experience. Only after that, I knew it was actually what you call, "kena tindih hantu".

I love listening to ghost stories...

2 comments:

bangkai said...

My grandparents used to scare me into not doing whatever it was that they didn't want me to do using the threat of the (then) dreaded 'hantu tetek'. I'm am quite certain that today, the threat won't work anymore. It would be quite thrilling to meet a 'hantu tetek' and being hidden between her tits. I could stay there forever...

Anyway, who says that there are no 'hantu koneks'? My estimation is that maybe 70% of all men are 'hantu koneks' in some form of its many manifestations.

the ectopy said...

No fair, you love hantu tetek, I hate hantu konek...