Sunday, February 10, 2008

Friends are exceptional.

My really close boy friend of six years, Ramli* was introduced to my girl friend, Laila*.
After much teasing from us, he asked me whether Laila was easy to impress. I, truthfully told him, "Knowing her...Susah sikit kot..."

He then dropped his intention to woo her and a few months later, he committed to another girl, Farah*.

Because I am really close to Ramli*, I was one of the first people to know about his relationship, and also is one of the few to know it. Their relationship is still discrete up until now. I don't know why Ramli* wanted to make it a secret.

When Ramli* told me about him and Farah*, I was surprised. Farah* is not the kind of the girl Ramli* would after. Ramli* has the reputation of only eyeing for the good-looking ones, and Farah* is just an average-looking kind of girl. She is too proper as well. I never hung out with Farah* before, so I could not really judge her on how she would accept us, Ramli* friends. Not that I don't want to meet Farah*, Ramli* just never introduced us.

Being a close friend of Ramli*, I know every girl whose Ramli* has a crush on, but Ramli* never mentioned Farah*. I thought it was strange. Ramli* is not desperate, we could call him an eligible bachelor, tall, good-looking, has a stable job, fun-to-be with, admired by many women...That's why he was always so choosy about his future wife, she must be perfect. Perhaps, Ramli* got tired of looking for that special one.

I thought his relationship with Farah* was just a fling, it wouldn't last.


I personally don't like cheating partners. I don't care if s/he thinks they no longer have the chemistry with her/his current partners, the right thing to do is to end the relationship before you go flirting with a new person!

I absolutely despise it when a person stays in a relationship but fools with another person, and end up hurting his/ her parner even more when the partner find out about the cheating.

Why do you have to have a safety net? Why do you have to make your partner a safety net? Oh, you flirt with her, if she likes you back, you'd leave your wife, but if she doesn't, you'd stay and menggatal with another woman until you find somebody who likes you back, then you'd leave your wife! That's not fair, that's what we call sikap paling keji.


Anyway, I asked Ramli* how his relationship was doing, and he said, fine. But Farah*'s mother is really ill right now. Her mother has the end-stage medical condition and Farah* is really fragile right now.

Then, he started telling me how he spends more time with Laila* than Farah*. He said he is really comfortable with Laila*. He even met Laila*'s family, who happens to live in the same area as Farah* and before this, he always thinks Farah* lives too far from him, that's why they seldomly meet. "Malas to pick her up, jauh..." he would say to me. But with Laila*, no problem! Ramli* is beginning to develop feelings for Laila* and he senses positive feedbacks from Laila*. However, Ramli* is not sure. "Aku taknak lah perasan..." he said.

Because Laila* is my friend and I know her better than Farah*, I told Ramli*, "I've always thought you would end up with Laila*. But suddenly, you are with Farah*."

"But you told me it was difficult to woo Laila*!"
"It's true! She has many criterias she set for her husband. But I think, you have the criterias she's looking for!"

Both women don't know about each other.

I told Ramli*, he has to stop before hurting somebody. He has to come clean about his relationship with Farah to Laila*.

"I know, but I've been with Farah* for a little while now, takkan suddenly I nak bagitau Laila*- Eh, Laila*, I forgot to tell you, I actually have a girlfriend. And if I wanted to break up with Farah*, I don't know whether Laila* likes me or not. I don't want to risk our friendship. It would be uncomfortable if she only thinks of me as a friend. Besides, Farah* needs me right now, her mother is seriously ill."


Now, I don't know whose side to choose. I know Ramli* doesn't love Farah* because he keeps secrets from her, even the usual ones like who is sleeping at his house. "Farah* wouldn't understand. She doesn't know how we function. She would be horrified if she knows my girl friends are sleeping at my house." What I know is, Ramli* is not the same person when he is with Farah*. Farah* doesn't know the real Ramli*, I don't know whether Farah* will still love the Ramli* if she knows about the real Ramli*. That's why Ramli* is more comfortable with Laila* that Farah*.

Even though I hate cheaters, I have double-standards when it comes to my friends. Why are my friends exceptional? I could think of 1001 reasons why they are different from other cheaters.

I feel like the biggest hypocrite.


irina said...

when we are good friend..we have all the reasons..:)

the ectopy said...

i guess...