Don't know why.

Have you ever felt suddenly you are sad for no reason?
Like everything is going wrong.
Am I having a mental problem because I suddenly could cry and I don't know why?
And when I start to cry, I would think about the past and all the things I should be sad for.
It's painful.
Right now, I feel so de-motivated.
I need a gateaway.
I need to run away from everything and be alone.
I need to do what I like on my own.
Or lie in bed for hours but that's pathetic. That's not helping.
I need a holiday with a stranger.
Or with someone who totally understands me and just be with me.
I wish I could cry and cry in front of a person and just tell that person everything that I think is going wrong, without actually telling.
That person could read my mind.
I am not very expressive in words.
Because I know, after I cry, I would tell myself that it's fine now, and I would refuse to tell anybody what's wrong.
Because after that, I would say to myself, "How silly of me to cry over that".
I wish somebody could read my mind so I don't have to tell him/ her my ridiculous thoughts myself because I want to save myself from the embarassment.

Right now I am sad and I don't know why.