I was a little girl with big dreams. By the age 6, I already listed the personalities I would like to have in my ideal boyfriend/ husband. Nope, not charming princes, I was smart enough to know there are not too many princes available in this world and they are not that smart. And only blonde princesses get all the charming princes.
I liked smart guys. I still do, but it is no longer on top of my list. I find it is quite difficult to seduce a smart guy, so, I reduce my standard of intelligence in a guy. They don't have to be genius-smart, I would accept okay-smart.
When we were small, we were protected. We thought the world is perfect. We thought there were only right and wrong, and nothing in between.
That's why I thought my ideal guy had to be genius-smart.
"And because I am a girl, my boyfriend/ husband has to be smarter than I am!" I do not who the hell implemented this kind of mentality into my head.
As I grew up, more and more characteristics were added to my list: smart, handsome, guitar player, soccer player, skater, tah ape ape lagi.
This went on until I was 16. I talked about this to three of my friends.
Friend A and B were determined to find a guy who are smarter than them.
Friend C said she did not care.
After the discussion, I studied my list and made it more realistic.
To friend A and B, I said: Good luck, babes!
Friend A is still single.
Friend B has crushes on game characters, such as, that guy from Final Fantasy, or that guy from Kingdom Heart, or probably the latest one is that guy from Grim Fandango. She is a big gamer girl, I tell you!
Friend C is in love with Korean actors.
Yup, when I was 16, I realized all the smart guys in my school were nerds and not fun to be with.
My priority shifted to guys who were popular and fun to be with.
Soon after, I dated the skaters, the guitarist, the drummers, the school soccer star, the bad boys, the cool scooter guys.
My crowd of friends grew bigger but I was so shallow, I judged them from their schools. I aimed for MCKK boys, Alam Shah boys, St. John's boys, BBBS boys...They had to be either smart or cool.
In college, my boyfriend was the total opposite of me. I liked him, he was nice, I believed he could guide me.
Too nice, in fact. I was crazy during that time, I just got my driving license, new friends in college, I needed to save my social reputation. I needed a boyfriend who would make me look good.
I searched for his faults.
He was not a clubber.
He was not fluent in English.
He was not that smart.
One time, I even questioned his genetics. His sister has severe asthma. His mother is fat, I assumed, suffering from many illnesses such as high blood pressure and diabetis.
For two weeks I thought how he would ruin my children and grandchildren's futures if I marry him. I wanted my children to be healthy!
Yes, I was paranoid.
Because I studied in Malaysia, I was not the ideal girl guys would after. They liked ayu type of girls, softspoken, polite, sane...
This is when I entered the non-Malay phase. I actually would like to marry a non-Malay because I want my children to be beautiful AND smart. Don't you notice how most good-looking and smart people in this world come from mixed parentage? No fair!
I told you I have a split personality.
Even though I go to clubs, I don't drink and I don't do drugs. I am probably one of the most well-behaved girls you would find in a club.
I wanted a guy who goes clubbing but doesn't drink and doesn't do drugs, just like me. And prays five times a day too!
I stopped looking for a man because it was almost impossible.
Until my Laling found me =)
Maturity teaches me you cannot judge how smart a guy is based on his SPM result, what course did he take in university, what he is doing for a living, how fluent he is in English...
So, what defines a smart guy?
Answer: A smart man.
4 hours ago