Sometimes, I wish hijab is just a fashion, not a responsibility. I have no problem with hijab being an identity, though.
From time to time, I want to wear the hijab. But I know, once I am wearing it, the hijab has to stick on my head. I couldn't take it off whenever I want.
I know many, many people who wears on-off hijab. They don't appear weird to me. But it is different, because they are hijab-ed most of the time, part-time hijab-free.
I want to be the part-time hijab-ed woman! (Have you ever seen a woman who doesn't wear a hijab MOST of the time, and only wears the hijab when she feels like it? No, right?)
It's funny. When you wear the hijab, you are automatically kinda 'protected' from doing anything sinful. Well, not protected, but you'd feel obliged to behave. Obliged? That's what I think. You just have to behave, you think twice before you do anything that could scratch the image.
But, when you feel you want to do something un-Islamic, you take off your hijab because you don't want to embarass the religion or give the wrong impression on Islam.
Once you do this, you are 'supposedly' looked down (people don't really care now) because you are 'memperkotak-katikkan hukum agama' (because you are not serious with your hijab! You think you can play-play?! You think you can take off your hijab when you FEEL like it?!)
But if you wear the hijab while misbehaving, you are disrespecting the religion pulak!
So, like it or not, once you wear the hijab, your personality changes, no matter how 'I am still the same inside' argument you give to your friends! Because if you don't change to become a better person, you are a disgrace.
It's funny because you expect covered women to be noble. But they are like the rest of us, except for the piece of cloth covering their hair! How can a piece of cloth make a whole lot difference? Okay, it makes whole lot difference in term of the number of 'pahala' they get compared to 'exposed' women like I am but not in term of attitude! A hijab is not like a switch on/ off button! You wear it, 'cahaya keimanan terpancar-pancar' and 'wah, sungguh ayu!', but when you take it off, 'sekarang kamu wanita jahat!'.
Talked to a male friend. I was single and wondering why was it hard for me to be involved in a serious relationship.
"Probably because you don't wear tudung".
"Whatttttttt?????? Whyyyyy??" I said.
"Because, it is highly unlikely for you to be a virgin if you don't wear the hijab".
Judgmental and not fair!
"I don't wear a hijab but I am a virgin!" I protested.
"I know. But the chances are low".
Oh, suddenly I feel I want to write about why men who fuck around think virginity is sacred out of sudden when it comes to marriage. Gile, tak sedar diri!
36 minutes ago