Saturday, April 5, 2008

Girl power.

Below are some of the things I did to avoid boys/ men.

- When I was about 14, I went out with this boy from another school. I brought my friends with me but they went to catch a movie to give us the privacy. We didn't have mobile phones back then, so, we just set a time, like, "We'll meet here at half four," or something like that. So, off my friends went and things between this boy and I became so awkward, I needed to get rid of him.

After a while, I pretended to see my friends and started to wave. (Hahahaha, this is so embarassing, why am I telling you this!)

Smiling, I said very politely, "Oh, my friends are already waiting. So, nice to meet you, I guess, I need to go now..."

He turned his head to look into the direction I was waving at and he said he didn't see any of my friends there. Desperate to leave, I lied, "I saw them, behind the wall! I think they are shy with you....So, yeah, need to go, bye!"

I thought I was a pretty good actress. I knew my friends were still in the cinema, so I window-shopped for a while. At half four, I was relieved and glad when I saw my friends. It was a bad date for me.

My friends came up to me, "Oh my God, Ectopy, where have you been? We have been searching for you! We saw G just now and he said you already left. We told him you are not with us and he is now searching for you! What happened to you?"

Shit. Shit shit shit. I quickly told my friends about my desperate escape that I had to make up stories. My friend suggested to pretend I already met my friends but we got separated because some of us wanted to buy clothes and others wanted to buy food.

Then, I saw G, my date, was watching us from the top floor. I gave him a quick wave. It was sweet of him actually, to make sure I was safe and found. I thought he already left when I said goodbye.

I never contact him back.

- There were a bunch of schoolboys who verbally harassed me. I ignored them at first but they kept harassing. Some of the men in the shop heard them too but they did nothing to rescue me, so I raised my voice and acted all dramatic, "Oh my God, you guys are completely harassing me right now!" before I could say, "Do you want me to call the police?" they already left the shop.

I think, they didn't expect me to speak up.

- My friends and I watched a movie and I was seated besides this man. In the middle of the movie, he introduced himself to me and being the mischievous teenager that I was, I told him my name was Sarah. My real name is not Sarah. I passed on the message to my friends, "Okay, guys, my name is not Ectopy, my name is Sarah, call me Sarah."

This guy, lets call him Aaron (not his real name, but I still can't believe I could still remember his actual name), is a Chinese guy, way too old for a teenage girl.

After the movie, he kept following us around. My friends kept telling me to get rid of him, but I didn't know what to do. If he was normal enough, he could tell from our obvious body languages and facial expressions that he was unwelcomed.

A few times, my friends forgot about my pretend name, they called me by my actual name, and I would give them the 'look'. I told him, my full name was Sarahectopy, that's why my friends called me Ectopy sometimes.

My friend, the only one who had a mobile phone that time, received a call and pretended the caller was her mother. "Yes, mom, we'll meet you there!" Then, she turned to me and said, "Ectopy, my mother is picking us up now. So, Aaron, we got to go now, bye!" but Aaron wouldn't let us leave him without exchanging contact number. Naturally, we lied to him again!

The person who was calling my friend was actually not her mother, the caller was our friend. Throughout the conversation, "Yes, mom, we'll meet you there!", my friend shouted at the end of the line, "You crazy, are you mad? Why are you talking like this? Hey!"

Hahahaha...Poor Aaron...He was such a lonely sailor...(According to him, he was a sailor)

- One guy was totally in love with me but the feelings never reciprocates. I did give him a chance. No matter what I did to him, I shouted at him, I scolded him, I cursed him, I looked down on him, I was being ridiculously annoying but he still adored me. I was perfect in his eyes.

I think, when men fall in love, they fall hard, no? I know I am just an average looking lady, I have no idea why this guy liked me so much.

I love cartoons and animation movies. One time, he took me out for a movie, Monster House.

I can't remember why we were running late, but when we arrived at the cinema, the movie was already starting. I got so mad at him, I cried. Yes, I repeat, I cried. I blamed him for missing the first five minutes of the movie.

And when we left the cinema, I was still mad at him because I didn't enjoy the movie, it was a stupid cartoon movie. I blamed him for that too!

Imagine, me, scolding him like this, "You knew I really wanted to watch this movie but you made me missed the first five minutes! I hate you! I hate you! Now, I have to watch it all over again, but I can't, because you know I don't like to do things twice! And that movie is stupid anyway! I hate you! Why did you have to choose this movie! Go away, I hate you!" All that while I was crying.

I admit it was unreasonable of me, but I purposely acted that annoying for him to hate me!

And for your info, I am not that dramatic, I am a very reasonable person but I was that desperate to get rid of him.

It did not work. I respect the love he had for me though.

- The relationship with my then boyfriend was getting nowhere. I just lost interest in him. I am never good at dumping people, that's why I'd rather guys to dump me instead. To achieve that, I have to get them hate me.

So, I started to act really grumpy over the slightest thing. I started to accuse my then boyfriend of many things and I told him not to contact me when I am busy with my friends. And when he followed my instructions, I got mad at him because he was ignoring me.

Many times, I pretended to send SMSes meant for my friends to him by mistake. Like, "I really hate my boyfriend right now, I wish things are over between us. Tell me what should I do."

Now, come to think of it, it was actually a mean way to tell your boyfriend that you are not into him anymore.

But, my boyfriend was a sweet person. He would then ask me what went wrong, what did he do to upset me and he apologized making me feel un-loved.

My plans always backfire on me.

We broke up eventually.

- When I was about 21, a white man approached me and asked for my number. I don't know why did I agree to give him my number, I usually don't. I regretted it and hoped he would never call but he did. One of the funniest SMSes I had ever received, "Hi, I am the constable that you met just now." Constable?!

I asked him his age. Way too old for a 21-year-old. "Do you want to have a drink or something?" he asked.

I told him I don't drink. "Okay. Lets meet for coffees instead, lets say, on Monday?" he asked again.

"I couldn't make it on Monday. How about some time later in the week? I am sorry," I said.

Good man, he got the message and never asks me out again!

I wish all men are easy to handle.

- I went out with a romantic Frenchman. Yes, they are romantic. "Close your eyes," he said. "Why?" I asked. Naive. "Just close your eyes and I'll show you," he said.

I seriously thought he wanted to do magic tricks on me. I am a girl who likes cartoons and magic tricks! So, I closed my eyes, and he gave me a quick kiss on my lips. I opened my eyes, surprised, and there he was, right in front of my face, smiling.

Now, I thought being romantic is the normal French culture, I didn't know he was trying to woo me.

In the end, he dropped the bomb, "I want to have sex with you. No, no. I said it all wrong. I want to make love with you." As if I was gonna fall for that!

"I am flattered but no." I don't know why was I so polite. I guess, I was afraid to offend him. I don't want to be raped!

"Why not?"

"We just met. I am not attracted to you. I have no intention to have sex with you. And I am still a virgin!" I truthfully told him.

He seemed to respect me but he soon began to touch me all over. I didn't like it, so I told him to stop. He said he'd try but I couldn't stand him anymore, so I pushed him and headed to the door.

He ran after me but I said I just want to go home. He then properly sent me home.

(A bit drama-like, because I ran then he ran after me. Hahahaha)

If I was a guy, I would say this Frenchman is stupid. I mean, if you wanna fuck an Asian chick, pilihlah yang cantik-cantik sikit...

Orang putih ni memang tak pandai nak menilai kecantikan orang Asia. Do you agree? Yang buruk pun mereka cakap exotic. Ye la tu...!

All in all, I was not that bad, eh? I never slapped, I never threw water, I never kick their balls, I never spread nasty rumours about them and I never ruined anyone's relationship just to get my revenge.


Irregularities said...

Kecik Kecik dah pandai kapel ya!!

penyangak said...

wow wut a tease

the ectopy said...


Anonymous said...

One question: Why is it when women do nasty things to men, its called "Girl power" but when men do nasty things to women its called "being a bastard"?.

Just thought I'd raise an alternate point of view.

OK all you women out there, you can start throwing rocks at me now.

coops said...

babe, u remind me of the old days too, haha. so damn funny and yes, we tend to do lots of 'mean' things to get rid of ths so-called unwanted strangers, eh. *wink*

the ectopy said...

bangkai: because you guys dont get it, that's why we have to do mean things to make you perfectly understand. well, we are not mean as long as they dont know about it, right?

coops: haha. im sure you have been in more dramatic situations that i did.

penyangak said...

i have the answer to bangkai's question. cause women have smaller brains so we men have to give in to them lah sometimes.