Monday, March 10, 2008


I asked my boyfriend,

"Who do you think will suffer more? A wife who loses her husband, or a husband who loses his wife?"

My boyfriend said, "The husband who loses his wife because when a man loves woman, he will love her wholeheartedly, it is so hard for him to let go".

Yes, maybe that's true, because I have a cousin whose wife died after about 6 years of marriage and now, about 10 years later, he is still single and refuses to find a wife even after much encouragement from his mother and mother-in-law. I always wonder why, is it because he is still very much in love with his late wife that he has none left for other women or he simply doesn't find a suitable replacement.
Good-looking, smart, successful, he has everything, including two lovely children, except a wife.

Anyway, after I carefully investigated my boyfriend, his initial answer was: the woman who loses her husband. I forgot to ask his reason though.
He even asked his friends' opinions and they agreed on the man who loses his wife because they said I'd kill him if he answered otherwise.

So, I told my boyfriend about the guy who said this:
"I think it will be harder for the woman to lose his husband because a woman is emotional. She is weaker by nature. That's why I don't why to die first and leave you all alone this world. I want to take care of you. If you fell sick, I want to be there by your side. I don't want you to carry the burden to support our family, let me do it because it is my responsibilty."

Ahhh...Such the perfect answer.

The reaction I received from my boyfriend was, "That's so sweet. I want to take care of you forever too."

I hate it when my boyfriend is not thoughtful. He needs someone to drill it in his head first before getting the point.

For the next question, "Who will suffer more? A child who loses his/ her parent/s or a parent or parents who lose/s his/her/their child?"

My boyfriend said, it is harder for the child who loses his/ her parent/s because the loss of tempat bergantung.

I agree with my boyfriend in this one because a child might not understand why his/her parent/s is/are taken away from him. A child needs love and guidance and it is heartbreaking when a child becomes an orphan before he/ she is ready.

Parents who lose a child however, are more accepting and in this case, they can find comfort and support in each other.

It is incosolable for the child, because the one who usually does the counselling are adults, and how many of us really understand what's going on in his/ her heart? Although all of us have gone through childhood, how many of us really remember how it must be felt at such young age? We don't have support groups for children. And when a child try to express their feelings verbally, it is limited because, well, he/she is just a child...It could even affect his/ her future.

I didn't ask my boyfriend the next question: Do you prefer to be excellent in one thing, or do you prefer to be average in many fields?

I personally think, I am good in many fields that sometimes, I wish I knew my niche. It is sad when what you do don't receive any recognition because they are just average.

Sometimes, I envy people who are excellent in what they do. Take for example, Siti Nurhaliza. She may speak terrible English, had Grade 2 for SPM, but look at where she is now. She accomplishes so much just because she is an excellent singer.

Or, that photographer friend of mine. Armed with a DSLR, he shoots beautiful pictures and his photography business is going strong.

Me? Hand me a task and I will manage to complete it. I am good in many things but never great.
I am multi-purpose but I am just average.

It is sad. Sometimes.

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