Lately, I have been reminiscing the old me.

I am very lucky, can you believe it?

I was quite a rebellious teen back then. I can't believe how my parents can put up with me. I thought, just because I have done well in my studies, I can do anything I want.

I started to go out and hang out at shopping malls when I was 14. Skipping classes and playing pranks on (or, bullying) my other 'friends'.

Then, at 15, my friends and I organized a huge party. There were so many uninvited older teens that we don't even know and it kinda got out of hand. It was fun and a little bit scary all at the same time. I remember holding a huge amount of cash to pay for the venue and calling companies to hire a professional Emcess...My friend's parents were the adults who went for a meeting with the manager of the club house to finalize the booking. Haha. They must be thinking we were having a nice end-of-school year party. So wrong!

At 16 and 17, I celebrated New Year and Independence Day with my friends and their older cousins. We arrived home at 4 am, and I always ended up spending the night at my friend's house.

At 17, I started gaining experience on the road. I drove everywhere! Sometimes, my friends and I would hang out till morning. Empty talks at the hip and happening spots, trying stuff or seeing my friends trying stuff we should not. Most of the time, Mother was very cool about it.

Thank God it never went further than that.

It's quite mind-boggling how my parents allowed me to behave like I did!

Probably, it's because, out of all my sibings, I was the one who kinda bend a bit from the rest. If all of my siblings were like me, I am sure my parents would go crazy!

Things could go very wrong. What if I became a drunk or a slut? What if I ended up partying too much? What if I never learned my lessons? (Gasp)

I am lucky. It's like, as if I am protected. I get things easy. I never really worked in anything.

Well, I thought I worked hard in going through my tough university years. But looking back, it was not THAT challenging, I exaggerated my struggles. Drama.

Because of this, I am constantly afraid that Karma will come and bite me in the ass. I've got it easy. I wonder what is out there waiting to crush me, for all the bad things I have done. Is it my future children? Is it my inabilty to reproduce? Is it a failed marriage? Is it a lonely future?

I will never know until I experience it. And it's scary.

You know, I would definitely spank my daughter and give her an earful of nags if I ever find out she's been naughty! Kurung dia! Masuk sekolah pondok! Confiscate everything! Now I realize, how patient my parents were in handling me. I was not easy.

For now, I am staying positive. I hope the regrets I have are enough to repent myself! Eeekk...!!!

Nowadays, the only thing that could cheer me up is probably the TV.
More specifically, Wipeout on AXN 701. Haha. Love it! Because it's funny and I could laugh all by myself in front of the idiot box, looking like an idiot myself.

This reminds me of the other day, I had a bad day at work. Came home, switched on the TV, went all Haha while watching Wipeout, then took a nap. Woke up feeling better. Er, kinda productive, I must say.

This time around, I'll be writing on what's been bothering me.
Number 1.
Stupid boss.
Okay, she memang has that irritating attitude, everybody knows, but I still can't tolerate it. She is so bad, she's one of the reasons why my colleague quit her job.

Last week, I found out she was talking bad about me. In view of her attitude, I always avoid working with her. (I work with a different boss) One day, she asked for my help, so her staff informed me regarding the client at a very 'convenient' time. I went back home late just because of that. Due to the time constraint, some decisions couldn't be made on the same day.

The next day, this mean boss of mine, flipped through my report, and commented, "La, ini saja yang dia tulis? Baik tak payah panggil macam tu, saya pun boleh buat."

Wah, wah, wah, kepala hotak lu, you ungrateful bitch! If you could have done it yourself, why did you call me in the first place! And didn't you see the time of the report being written? Kalau terer sangat, you do it yourself lah. You kan pangkat lebih tinggi daripada I, why ask help from a staff below you then? Because...She's not so smart lah, okay.

She didn't say it directly to me, but it bothered me because I feel so unappreciated. I always work overtime, but my efforts go unnaticed, it's depressing. The only thing that keeps me going is the belief of ikhlas/ beribadat dalam bekerja. I taknaklah makan gaji buta dan makan duit haram pulak.

I bumped into her at Tesco but pretended not to see.

Me: Abang, cepat bayar. Tadi I nampak boss I, I tak nak jumpa dia.
Husband: Mana? Yang pakai tudung hitam tu ke? Yang tu ke? Yang tu eh?
Me: Entah. I tak nak pandang! Jom, jom!
Husband: I rasa yang pakai tudung hitam tu. Yang pakai mekap tebal tu kan?
Me: Mana you tau dia pakai mekap tebal?
Husband: Ala, masa you marah hari tu kan you kutuk dia pakai mekap tebal, tak fashionable and ugly.
Haha.

Number 2.
Annoying colleague.
Well, this is the same person that I developed some instant dislike for no reason.
But, now, her attitude adds more reasons for me not to like her!

She likes to tell on people. I don't know what's her problem, but it affects me.
Like today, my other boss sarcastically asked me, "Ectopy, dah siap ke surat client tu?"

Me: Dah. Settle dah. (Ni mesti kerja Tina bongok pergi cakap satu-satu dekat boss lah ni)
Other boss: Ye? Sebab I bagitau kes tu dekat *Halim (my real boss) and dia macam tak tahu pun.
Me: Yeke? Tapi dah settle dah.

Arghh! Don't tell me how to do my job lah, okay. It will be done, I am hell good at it. No need to tell on me to people just because I am a wee bit late, as if I have nothing else important to do. And that case is not even an urgent case!

Everytime I meet someone else who doesn't like my colleague, I am little bit glad, like, yeay, welcome to the club! Thankfully, it's not just me...

Me: Oh, my God, you know Tina?
Atikah: We went to the same univeristy. Dia dulu my senior.
Me: I am sorry but I don't like her.
Atikah: Who does? Sejak lagi universiti lagi I tak suka dia.
Me: Really? Yeay! See, Brad, I am not the only one who doesn't like her. And I am not disliking her for no reason!
Brad: I am not saying I like her...
Score!

Number 3.
Lazy clients.
The type who likes to ask favours (because they are lazy), then expect me to grant their wishes, ignoring my actual responsibilty to the community.

Worse, the type who 'dah bagi betis, tapi nak peha'.

Worse, verbally pass the request through my staff, or, just leave a memo, as if the request is so innocent.

Wah, sungguh demanding nya engkau, tapi malas! Orang bagi nasihat, tapi sombong dan engkar!

My husband is outstation and my birthday is coming up. He asked me what I want for my birthday, but really, all I want he can't afford yet. Haha! Like, a nice house, or a honeymoon! Or, resign my job and become a diva housewife. Or learn how to cook/ sew. Or, a baby.

Right now, one the simple things that I want is- to be able to tidy up the house! Will do it today, I semi-promise! Hehe.

Me: I want to have a baby.

Brad: I want you to have a baby. It will be fun! I think you should see the doctor.

Me: No! I am not infertile! Do you think I have some kind of disease?

Brad: You never know...

Me: Besides, they will reject me. You have to wait for 2 years before the doctor declares you have difficulties getting pregnant.

Brad: Just see laaa...Get yourself checked early.

Me: I know what they're going to say.

Marriage is not even one year old yet.

Even less if you count the time when we actually started living together.

Have sex at least 3 times per week.

Go have a honeymoon.

I've done my research.

Brad: Then, go for a honeymoon and have sex more!

Yeah. My husband gotta bring home something really nice for me!

(Baru tadi taknak apa-apa, tapi sekarang sudah stress. Bribe me with gifts. I'd feel better after watching Wipeout anyway...Hehe)

"Everybody wants to go to heaven. But nobody wants to die."

I love quotes. But I never remember who I quoted it from. Hehe.

"Even though you disagree, respect the government."

"Instead of wanting more of what you don't have, think of whether you actually deserve what you already have."

Anyway...

For the past couple days, I am quite content with my life.

Is it the long leave?

Started with the long journey back home, I love to see how motorists work to help each other.

For example, if we are stuck behind a truck, the lorry driver would give signals, the right indicator means it's not safe to overtake, the left indicator means please, go ahead!

I usually respond by yelling in the car, "Thank you!" I wish these considerate drivers know how much I appreciate them.

At home, I received a lot of compliments, just enough to boost my confidence.

Two people said my handbags looked lovely. I brought along two, so a compliment for each handbag. Yeay!

One guy tried to hit on me. Haha. This is funny.

One old friend, whom I haven't seen in a long time, said I was funny. She said it so casually, but she doesn't know how much I like to be called funny.

She knows me since our school time. It feels nice when someone remembers you like what you used to be.

I was talkative and outgoing back then. I laughed a lot, so care-free, and I actually made the effort to make other people happy. I had many, many friends, was even quite popular.

I used to include everybody in my class so nobody would feel left out. I stock up gifts so whenever it's someone's birthday, I would always have something to give.

I am not like that anymore. Not saying I am not happy, but in a different way.

So, when this old friend of mine said, "Ectopy, you are so funny!" and laughed at my jokes, it reminded me of how I was once before.

It feels really, really good. It's just a small comment that may go unnoticed, but I am so glad. Yes, she made my day. Actually, I am still beaming until now! :)

And last but not least, I want to express that I am so grateful that I live in Malaysia.

There are many times that I feel like migrating, but for the past two weeks, I am quite content.

You know why?

I found out a client received free MAS flights for the rest of his life. Just an e-mail sent and the kind soul granted his wish.
It was not even publicised but it's true story.

The story has restored my faith that there are still many kind, considerate moguls out there who genuinely have big hearts.

I watched Extreme Couponing on TLC channel 707 and I was inspired.
It's a great idea to use all the coupons to make big purchases for almost free! Even though I initially thought, "Why the hell would I need thousands of toothpastes?" but hey, you could always donate them to people in need.

Malaysia ada ke kupon kupon macam ni? Maybe I can begin collecting.

I am still on leave, but I've been having nightmares. Not nightmares, exactly, but more of, unpleasant dreams.

One time, I dreamt about being called for a small meeting with the mighty big boss, who is known for sacking the employers right there and then. I've never spoken to this mighty big boss in real life. In the dream, there was me, and a few others I didn't know. The purpose was to discuss what had been bothering us, how to improve the quality of work, that kind of thing, but it soon became a heated argument. The mighty big boss started to pin-point at our mistakes and demanded to look at our punchcard.

My punchcard was full for the whole month, except for one day (I think this is reality, once upon a time, I did have to work every freaky single day!).

My colleague voiced out his dissatisfaction of being overworked even though there's black-and-white that we are not supposed to work for more than certain hours. Because of the mighty big boss reputation, we thought he would fire the right people, but instead, he threatened us. All of us, including me, who said nothing.

Being the smarty-pants that I am, in the midst of fright and nervousness, sempat lagi nak terfikir to record the whole conversation. The curses and the yellings, the accusations and the threats.

My colleague stormed off. I went to him and told him that I had everything recorded. So, the case was brought to the court, I was one of the witnesses, they offered to give us compensations, I didn't have the money to hire a lawyer, my colleague was the son of somebody, thus he wanted to forgo with it, etc etc.

Wow, it was a really elaborate dream.

As I am writing this...This might be related to the recent Bersih 3.0 rally. You think?

Next, was the dream where I was lesbian! OMG! How could I ever dreamt of this thing! I was already back to work. Saw my boss and she was like, "It's been noisy at night, have you heard?" (In the dream, we were also neighbours)

I told her No. Then, I went back home, and saw the sudden influx of new tenants around my house.

Entah macam mana, I got whisked by a tenant, a woman, and fell madly in love with her.

One time, we had a fight, and it affected my work, as I didn't turn up to my workplace. Which, subsequently, brought my husband to come looking for me.

Then I woke up and refused to go back to sleep. Terus eat breakfast dengan husband. Adake patut jadi lesbian! Hish!

As I am writing this...Eh, why are my dreams mostly work-related eh? I am on leave lah!

Next, I was at this restaurant meeting my friends and a blogger. (I also don't know why I dream about other bloggers. Reading too much blogs?)

It was surprise party, so this blogger held a game, kinda like a treasure hunt thing. I tried cracking jokes with her but she gave me the look, so I felt really embarrassed. I was so glad I was not in her team.

I got to lead the other team and we were really good. It's like, a treasure hunt combined with paintball, so you really gotta have skills.

At one of the checkpoints, we had to complete three tasks. The other team had completed two easier tasks.

I convinced my group to take on the most difficult task first as it would take a very long time to learn the dance steps. They agreed and we practiced and practiced and put the other group on hold. Serve them right!

As I am writing this...Okay, this sounds like Amazing Race!

Why can't I have nice dreams instead? Things that I could get only in a dream...Kan best macam tu...

---

I was playing PigShot on my niece's iPhone. Got to nowhere to her highscores.

Me: How did you do it? Apa rahsia kejayaan awak?
Niece: Mencuba!
Me: (What the hell is she talking about) Mencuba apa?
Niece: Mencuba...Practice makes perfect...
Me: Oh, my God! That is not 'mencuba' lah! That is 'berlatih'.
Niece: Oh. (Laughs)

Teruklah my niece. She doesn't even talk in English all the time. But her BM memang sucks. And she knows it. A member of Kelab Bahasa Melayu. Kalau dapat B tu memang untuk subjek BM lah. It was funny though.

---

A few weeks ago, I attended a course which one of the discussions involved was regarding our manmade law.

The speaker showed us a few examples of court cases which we had thought a sure-winner. We were proven wrong.

At that point, I thought, there is seriously something wrong with our judiciary system.

Following that, the floor was opened for discussion. It became quite interesting. The majority questioned why? Why?

There I was, sitting quietly- I thought the court is the place to get justice, but does justice being delivered? What about the judges? Don't they do their researches? Don't they think about the consequences for being injustice, well, probably not now, but in the afterlife?

I am so sad that there a substantial number of Malaysians who use the court to get rich. They make it like a gambling arena. What's worse is when they use their misfortune, crying out for attention in the court, when clearly, their aim is for personal gain.


And, me, paying tax just to feed those greed instead for better infrastructure. And that's why I can never be a practicing lawyer, too many internal conflicts, I can't handle.

Like always, things like this make me believe more in akhirat. Life cannot be this unfair. It cannot end just like that. Takkanlah every good deed won't ever be rewarded. Takkanlah mati is the end. Heaven and hell must exist, they just must okay!

Even though Astro is opening all channels until 6th of May, I am still stuck with cartoons 24-7. I tried to teach those kids to watch adult materials, but cartoons are evil!

So, since I have too much time in my hand, a blog shall be updated.

I thought it was weird for me because I have a friend, I don't know whether I can call her my friend, because we never talk.

I used to talk to her, but that was 10 years ago, and the talking only lasted for the first few days.

We lived in the same condo unit, we were in the same class, then, we departed to go to the same city to further our studies. We do meet here and there, during raya, during events, but we just don't talk. We never argue. Nothing happened to make us stop talking to each other, but we don't freaking talk, it's so weird, I tell ya!

And the best part is...Everybody knows we don't talk! Okay, so our class was small, but the guys and our classmates of different races also knew about this.
Obviously, we share mutual friends, so it is simply understood that Ectopy and this girl, let's call her, *Gina, don't talk. It's been like that for so long, but we are friends, yes, we are, we are friends who just don't talk to each other!

I attended a wedding, with my friend, *Brad and his girlfriend, *Farah. They were my colleagues, so they don't know who Gina is.

I told them about this strange friendship that I have with Gina. And also the fact that I needed to attend Gina's wedding that night...Provided...There would be other college friends there as well, or it would be just  weird!

(Gina herself is a quiet girl. She doesn't have many friends. I am the kind of person who always feel obliged to attend events like this, especially if others can't make it, because I feel bad! If I could make it, I am happy to be a representative. I know how it feels if nobody attends your event, especially when they don't turn up after RSVP!)

Brad: Actually, Ectopy, I don't think it's weird.
Me: You don't think it's weird? It is so weird, everybody thinks so too! Including me!
Brad: (Laughs) Because...I have that kind of relationship too!
Me: Oh, my God! Really? After all these years, I thought I was weird. Now, finally, I meet this other person who is in the same boat! So, it's not weird? It's normal? Does everybody secretly have this kind of relationship, but they just don't tell? (Looks at Farah, Brad's girlfriend)

Farah: Let me think...Nope. I don't have friends that I don't talk to. Wait, who is this friend that you don't talk to, Brad?

Brad: Remember *Sulaiman? I never talk to him. It's actually kinda weird.
Me: See! I told you it's weird!
Brad: Because there's this one time, we were at this wedding. And I was holding his baby. It's so weird because I can't be talking to his kid when I don't talk to the father, right? So, it's like, a silent play with his kid.
Me: (LOL)

Brad: And, just like you, he used to be my housemate. But we don't talk. Even *Ali was asking why we never talk.

Ali is our mutual friend who used to work with me, but went to school with Brad.

Me: Phew, I am so glad you understand.
Brad: We were together for 5 years and never talk. I guess, once something happened, it's quite difficult to initiate the talking.
Farah: You had a fight?
Brad: What I remember is, we started off by playing football together. He was a rough player, then he did something, he tackled me, then I got mad. Then we don't talk. (Laughs)
Me: But, that's different. Nothing happened between Gina and I. At first, I talked to her, but she replied with very, very short phrases. Then, I guess, I gave up talking to her. Nothing else. And she never made the effort to talk to me too.

Brad: It's quite funny actually. Because we always play football together. You know lah, mesti ada, hoi, apa tendang-tendang ni. But when he kicked my legs, senyap je. Then, he just gave me the stare.

Haha!

Even though Gina and I don't talk  to each other, we are friends in Facebook, we know each other's updates, we turn up at gatherings and laugh, just not to each other.

I also have talked about this with my bestfriend since college, *Farid.

Farid told me, he too, rarely talked to his roommate *Yusof. Only after they finished college, they started to become close and hang out together.

Farid said, the reason they don't talk was because Yusof girlfriend was *Adli's ex-girlfriend. (Adli is Farid's bestfriend from highschool)
After they finished college, Yusof and the girlfriend broke up and coincidentally, Farid and Yusof started to talk.

OMG, why are my friends and I a bunch of weirdoes!

In the end, I did attend Gina's wedding, It was beautiful and it was grandeur. The best part was the Patchi Chocolates. Sedap gile nak mampus, sayang nak makan...(Cair dalam syurga coklat)

So, do you talk to your so-called friends?

Wedding season!

I love attending beautiful wedding. I would give the look to my husband and moan, "Why wasn't our wedding like this! Masa kita kahwin, tak ada pun macam ni, tak ada pun macam tu...!"

Sabar je lah, wahai suami.

To make myself feel better, I said, "Tak apalah...Kita tak mampu pun. Lagipun kita boleh guna duit tu buat ini dan buat itu."

Cis. Memang ayat sedapkan hati sendiri sangat!

---

I was supposed to watch The Avengers. Got there early but the tickets were all sold out. While waiting for my friends to arrive, I browsed through the bedsheet and duvet sales by Akemi. I love Akemi, when it's on sale. Haha. I could never afford Akemi without the discounts.

Anyway, I was completely oblivious, didn't realize/ know there was a guy who suddenly approached me.

Stranger: Murah ke ni?
Me: (Giving him a very polite smile)

I thought nothing of it and continued to select nice bedsheets.

That guy went around and ended next to me again.

Stranger: Ni harga lepas diskaun ke, sebelum diskaun?
Me: Tak tahu lah. Kena tanya salesgirl tu.

This time, I thought he had mistaken me as the salesgirl because he had been asking about the product twice. But, then again, I didn't look like a salesgirl because I wore nice clothes meh!

Stranger: Nama siapa? Nak kawan, boleh?

Haha. Baru nak ter realize this guy was hitting on me!

Me: (Polite smile again. Ignore)
Stranger: Nama siapa?
Me: Hmm...Saya dah kahwin lah...

I usually don't wear any ring due to the nature of my work. But in God's mysterious ways, I wore all three that day because I was on leave and brought them all to Mother's place for dressing up purposes.

Stranger: Ala...Tak apalah. Kita nak kawan je...

Then he left.

I was, of course, scared because men very rarely get attracted to me. So I rarely catch anyone's attention. When they do show interest in me, I get very suspicious. Mesti ada udang di sebalik batu!

Lariiii!!! Where the hell are my friends, why aren't they here yet!!!

Eh, but cannot waste this experience, must use to my advantage.

So, I quickly texted my husband and bragged...Haha. Dah kahwin pun ada orang nak mengorat...Macam some sort of achievement pulak.

Adakah menjadi semakin hot semenjak lepas berkahwin?

Because a few weeks ago, at work, I asked my client a standard question, "Mata boleh nampak ke?"

He said, "Boleh nampak. Dan saya tengok awak ni cantik."

A normal response from a person who rarely gets compliments would be: Nervouse laugh. And that's what I did. Nervous laugh and brushed it off.

But...Must use those opportunity to make my husband jealous! Bila lagi...

And bilalah nak ada baby ni...Hehe. Keluar tajuk.

---

Actually, I want to talk on something serious, but I'll do it later. It seems inappropriate pulak nak jumble everything up in one post.

So, next post would be on either injustice of law or the speechless friend. Hehe. The latter topic sounds more interesting. Why so immature!