Postponed.

I am sorry I don't reply your comments.
But, trust me, I do read them.
I just don't know what to say.

Anyway...
Everybody else around me is getting married and I wish I could share the excitements with them. Of course, I am happy for my friends, but I wish I could tell them, "Hey, I am getting married too!"

I wish I too could go shopping for barang hantarans, set appointments with the photographers to see their portfolios, go to the bridal shops, having my mind about to explode thinking about every single detail and become a bridezilla just because it is all about me on my big day.

My plan, or more correctly, our plan to get married in several months has been postponed to early next year. I requested for it.

Some of you might not know this, but I have two homes. One in Malaysia, with my parents, another, my bachelor pad, is in somewhere not in Malaysia. I often travel in and out of the countries. The same goes to my boyfriend. Although we have different professions, fate brings us together. His other home is near to my other home, but he travels even more rarely than I do, once a year.

My boyfriend and I really want to make sure the marriage we will be having is truly 'sah', so he consulted a few pious men. So, the akad nikah will not be held in Thailand or Malaysia, but at a mosque near my other home. My 'tempat bermastautin' for a few months in a year.

My boyfriend always ask me this, "Sudah bersedia untuk menjadi isteri?"

My preparations for my big akad nikah day? Nothing. We don't want anybody to be suspicious. I think I am ready. I will love my husband and take care of him. I will ask for his permission, ask for his advice, make decisions together and respect him.

And I will learn how to cook his favourite dish? Maybe...He is a better cook than I am...

I will not be wearing a nice baju kurung and a lacey veil on my akad nikah. Instead, I will be wearing my baju raya, which is pretty too, by the way. But I have the feeling my boyfriend will surprise me with a pretty wedding baju kurung for me.

He is a sucker at keeping secrets to surprise me, that's how I get to know. Haha! His choice on my wedding baju kurung doesn't concern me at all. For your information, my boyfriend has excellent taste in clothings.

My boyfriend will have several gifts ready for me, but nothing in return from my side. He will buy me a wedding ring, a necklace, matching watches for both of us and money as duit hantaran. I can't be wearing the ring most of the time. The wedding ring will be the pendant of the necklace, so I could wear it without anybody asking my status.

I think I may have given too much informations here...

Okay, I would stop. I was just being a normal lady who is excited for her nikah day.

How would we live our lives? My boyfriend said he is ready to introduce me as his wife to his friends after we are married.

"But, they will ask you why they weren't invited to our wedding!" I protested.
"I would tell them the truth. We nikah first, and the Walimatulurus will be held later. I will invite them then," he said.
"And if they tell your parents about this?"
"My parents will understand...I know them."
"Kalau kena tangkap basah?"
"Kita cakap kita dah kahwin."
"Tapi kita tak ada bukti, tak ada sijil nikah!"
"Kita bayar denda."
"But they will inform my parents and they will kill me!"
"Well, we just have to make love overseas then!"

At this point, I just had to laugh at the simplicity of my boyfriend's mind. He is so cool and determined about this, which in turn, makes me feel safe and secure as long as he is with me.

My feet are still on the ground. The reality is not that simple. I know. We know.