But lately, what bothers me is, the word 'sayang' he includes in the SMSes.
For example, last few days, he wished me Happy Aidilfitri, to which I replied: Baru sekarang bagi SMS raya? I prefer duit raya!
"Ala saje, ingat you," was his reply.
Okay, that was it. I didn't reply. What else should I say? There's nothing else to be said.
But he sent me another SMS, telling that he is having a headache. "Kalau you sentuh boleh cepat pulih".
"Me? As if I have magic hands. Go to sleep and you'll be fine," I replied. Platonic or not?
"Banyak rahsia sentuhan tau, nanti you belajar la...Bye sayang."
He is a good man, and wise, like I mentioned earlier. But I told him many times before that I have a boyfriend and I am seriously involved with him.
I am not cheating because my boyfriend knows about him and everytime I get his SMSes, I would tell my boyfriend. I rarely contact this guy, more like, once a month, and everytime, he is the one who initiates the contact.
Sometimes, it is flattering to know someone fancies you. But this guy gives me the shivers, not in a creepy kind of way, and my boyfriend does not know this.
I have the feeling he is the kind of guy who turns up at your parents' house, out of sudden merisik or masuk meminang.
So, maybe I am just being paranoid, but I don't know, I just have that feeling and other men don't give me this kind of feeling.
Why? Why? Why?
He doesn't harrass me with contant calls/ SMSes, he has never confessed his love towards me, just a few 'sayang' here and there. I know I shouldn't take it seriously because that could be his style communicating with women but why do I feel like this? Is this what we call, a woman's instinct?
He once mentioned he wanted me, he said he would wait for me, but I took it as a joke. Adakah saya seorang yang perasan?
I don't know.
Entahlah...Maybe because he is sort of alim-alim and you know la what alim people do...Suddenly without warning, "Ana mahu kahwin dengan ente (or is it anta? Whatever la, I don't know Arabic!)"
Tapi saya tak cukup alim, jadi jangan kahwin dengan saya!
He doesn't know where I live, so thank God.
Anyway, lately I have been so distant with God. For the past two years, it has been difficult for me to find the time to recite the Quran. After reading hansac's blog, I am determined to improve my relationship with God. Baca Quran berlagu-lagu...Solat tak boleh tinggal...
Tapi susah sangat nak pakai tudung.
Sometimes, when I am out and about wearing skirts, it is difficult for me to enter the surau to perform my solat. People always look. I feel like I am such a disgrace, dressing inappropriately in a surau.
I end up missing my solat.
I know I should give up wearing skirts or shorts, but...