Property.

I pestered my boyfriend to buy a house. I don't mind living in an apartment even, I just think somebody who is serious to get married has to have all the necessities ready. You are not being responsible if you are not prepared to take care of your spouse.

My boyfriend said he has a land. I said, a land is not enough. We need a house, somewehere to move into, a house to start a new life as husband and wife.We are not going to live with my parents. Not yet. We will live with my parents when they are too old to take care of themselves. It's crazy to live with my parents when they don't like my boyfriend in the first place!

We argued.

He said he wanted to buy a house, he already paid the deposit, but the contract was violated and he cannot sue him. It's not that easy. Yes, I do understand. But that doesn't mean the house hunting should stop. I know it's difficult to buy a suitable house now in KL/ Selangor.

I was guilty because I proceeded to say mean things to him.
I didn't mean to hurt him. I was just trying to advise him, trying to put some senses into his head, but I guess I was too harsh and too insensitive.

I said, why didn't he think about buying a house when he was much younger. We wouldn't be facing this problem when everything has been settled early. He said he didn't have a girlfriend that time and was only having the time of his life, being single and no commitment. That's why he didn't buy any property.

I was mad, so I told him, when my pilot friend was 21, he already bought a condo with his own money. (I was poor when I was 21 because I was still studying) Now, where the hell should we buy a house, Putrajaya is an okay place, but it's far and the schools are new. I want to live in a place where good schools are near for my children. Damansara is expensive and most of them are condominiums. I want to live in a Semi-D, at least. I scolded him for being ignorant when he was younger.

He defended himself by saying he never planned to move out from his hometown. By this time, I raised my voice, a smart person will buy properties in KL/ Selangor to let them. How can he not have a thinking like this? I am younger than him, and I a woman, even I know how to play the market! House properties increase in price over time. My boyfriend is more interested to spend money on big cars. I told him, cars don't generate money and they don't last long. There will always be a newer car model, just like mobile phones.

I think his ego was challenged by this, he said, "I don't do bank loans. You know me, I don't do loans!" I told him that there's nothing wrong in loans, people do it all the time, it's normal. He then said, no, loans are for people who don't have their own money. I said, fine, then go buy a decent house by cash, if you insist! Where are all your cash? You've spent it on your cars and motorbikes, didn't you? And you go shopping buying expensice clothes. Now, tell me, can we take shelter in your shoes? Sarcasm.

That's what I am doing now, I working my ass off to satisfy you and your parents, he said. "Since when you become so materialistic like this?" he continued saying. I know things would get worse if I didn't shut up, so I was in silence. I let him talk: You don't know how much money I've spent to get these projects. Sakit kepala pikir perangai orang macam-macam, kena tipu lagi...You tengok I kerja macam senang, tapi you tak tahu I......

I let him talk what he feels:

Look, that's why I want to marry you okay? I feel so wrong to burden you with my problems, I don't want to interrupt your work, I know you have your own problems too. Besides, if we are married, I am more comfortable to tell you about my work, about money, about everything. At least, when I go to bed, I have you by my side. Right now, all I could do is sakit kepala before I sleep. Talking to you is always relieving, but I still have to limit what I could tell you. I don't want to talk money with you. I don't want you to think I am like that. Rezeki bila-bila masa Tuhan boleh bagi, boleh hilang. I work hard to have you. You know I will fight to win you. Right now, I need to know you will always stand by me.
I will buy a house for us. Can you please be patient?

*********************

So, anyway, what annoys me the most is the part when he didn't save money when he was younger. When we were 21, my male friends were starting to save money from our monthly allowence just in case, and they didn't even have girlfriends back then!

Am I being materialistic to request for a house?

It's called survival instinct! Every human has it! Except for some men...Because some of them are not human enough!

Postponed.

I am sorry I don't reply your comments.
But, trust me, I do read them.
I just don't know what to say.

Anyway...
Everybody else around me is getting married and I wish I could share the excitements with them. Of course, I am happy for my friends, but I wish I could tell them, "Hey, I am getting married too!"

I wish I too could go shopping for barang hantarans, set appointments with the photographers to see their portfolios, go to the bridal shops, having my mind about to explode thinking about every single detail and become a bridezilla just because it is all about me on my big day.

My plan, or more correctly, our plan to get married in several months has been postponed to early next year. I requested for it.

Some of you might not know this, but I have two homes. One in Malaysia, with my parents, another, my bachelor pad, is in somewhere not in Malaysia. I often travel in and out of the countries. The same goes to my boyfriend. Although we have different professions, fate brings us together. His other home is near to my other home, but he travels even more rarely than I do, once a year.

My boyfriend and I really want to make sure the marriage we will be having is truly 'sah', so he consulted a few pious men. So, the akad nikah will not be held in Thailand or Malaysia, but at a mosque near my other home. My 'tempat bermastautin' for a few months in a year.

My boyfriend always ask me this, "Sudah bersedia untuk menjadi isteri?"

My preparations for my big akad nikah day? Nothing. We don't want anybody to be suspicious. I think I am ready. I will love my husband and take care of him. I will ask for his permission, ask for his advice, make decisions together and respect him.

And I will learn how to cook his favourite dish? Maybe...He is a better cook than I am...

I will not be wearing a nice baju kurung and a lacey veil on my akad nikah. Instead, I will be wearing my baju raya, which is pretty too, by the way. But I have the feeling my boyfriend will surprise me with a pretty wedding baju kurung for me.

He is a sucker at keeping secrets to surprise me, that's how I get to know. Haha! His choice on my wedding baju kurung doesn't concern me at all. For your information, my boyfriend has excellent taste in clothings.

My boyfriend will have several gifts ready for me, but nothing in return from my side. He will buy me a wedding ring, a necklace, matching watches for both of us and money as duit hantaran. I can't be wearing the ring most of the time. The wedding ring will be the pendant of the necklace, so I could wear it without anybody asking my status.

I think I may have given too much informations here...

Okay, I would stop. I was just being a normal lady who is excited for her nikah day.

How would we live our lives? My boyfriend said he is ready to introduce me as his wife to his friends after we are married.

"But, they will ask you why they weren't invited to our wedding!" I protested.
"I would tell them the truth. We nikah first, and the Walimatulurus will be held later. I will invite them then," he said.
"And if they tell your parents about this?"
"My parents will understand...I know them."
"Kalau kena tangkap basah?"
"Kita cakap kita dah kahwin."
"Tapi kita tak ada bukti, tak ada sijil nikah!"
"Kita bayar denda."
"But they will inform my parents and they will kill me!"
"Well, we just have to make love overseas then!"

At this point, I just had to laugh at the simplicity of my boyfriend's mind. He is so cool and determined about this, which in turn, makes me feel safe and secure as long as he is with me.

My feet are still on the ground. The reality is not that simple. I know. We know.

Ramadhan ini

Things to do:

- Solat terawih
- Solat taubat
- Solat hajat
- Solat istikharah
- Recite the Furqan

I wanted to buy a new handbag.
"I always use the same handbag! I need a new one for Raya," I complained to my boyfriend.
I dragged him to a shopping mall to hunt for the perfect handbag.
He gave me money.
"What's this?" I asked.
"Beli handbag baru. I hadiahkan," he said.
"I don't need your money! Kalau you nak hadiahkan I barang, beli betul-betul. Jangan bagi I duit!" I protested.
"I tak pandai pilih handbag," he explained.
"I could buy six handbags with this amount of money!"
"Really?" he was in disbelief.
"I don't want your money!"
"Tapi I nak belanja you," he said.
"Fine! Tunggu dekat cashier nanti, you bayarkanlah. I belum jumpa handbag yang I suka. And my handbag will NOT be at this price! Sekarang, you simpan duit you ni," I put the money in his hands.
"You peganglah," he said.
"Tak nak!" I refused.
"You know me...I can't hold the money because I'll be spending it in a few hours. You tak nak I membazir kan?"
"Grrrr!!!"

My boyfriend is totally clueless when it comes to 'how to treat a girl, the right way'. You DO NOT give MONEY to your girlfriend, you BUY things for your girlfriend, which means, most of the time, as SURPRISE GIFTS.

Giving me money is like paying me, but I AM NOT YOUR WHORE!

Well, I did not find my dream handbag, but the money was spent on the new external hard disk, our parkings, tolls, petrol and dinners.

I hope, next time, he will buy a nice handbag for me as a gift. And no, I don't need to know the price.

Selamat berpuasa.

Shopping.

My boyfriend wanted to buy a Dopod for me.
I declined.
My friend said I am foolish.
My mobile phone is still working just fine.
Besides, I'd rather him buying me an iPhone.
Has iPhone arrived in the Malaysian market yet?

============================

My boyfriend is a big spender. I am not.
Sometimes, it is quite disturbing to see my boyfriend splurge, but at the same time, I am happy to have a boyfriend who knows brands. He is the person who introduced me to designer labels, some I never even heard of before.

Unlike him, I don't know how to appreciate the brands. The way I show my appreciation is to save the clothes/ shoes/ handbags/ watches for really, really special occasions, but, I don't see the point of keeping your expensive items. Wouldn't you want to display your expensive clothes/ shoes/ handbags/ watches?

I like to buy bargains because I like to have many things in my closet. And if I find new things I like, I won't feel guilty to throw away the old, less nice-looking clothes/ shoes/ handbags/ watches.

I don't like to go shopping with my boyfriend. I don't like him insisting to pay. Well, actually, I like him to pay, but I would feel very guilty. I don't want people to think me as a razor (pisau cukur). Besides, it is wrong to spend someone else's money!

Shopping with him makes me feel small. He has nothing to do with this, it is just me. I would feel like, 'Does he think this is an ugly bag?' or 'Does he feel embarassed to shop with in this cheap shop?' or 'Does he think this is too cheap?' or 'Does he think I am being too picky to buy something this cheap?'.

Now that my boyfriend has observed my spending habits, he wants to be more like me.

Of course I am happy that he now has realized that you could buy similar products for much more less expensive.

But I like him the way he is! I like to see him in nice clothes and shoes, looking well-groomed most of the times. I like his high-maintainence, metrosexual behaviour. That's one of the reasons why I fall in love with him in the first place.

How do I tell him to keep buying designer labels but for himself alone, and not for me? How do I tell him in this relationship, only I can be the bargain girl, only I can be the poorer one, only I can be the partner who is always so careful with her money?

God, this is awkward.