Home today. Had migrain, so asked for a leave from work.

Anyway.

I've been on a shopping spree and have not really stopped yet. Do I feel guilty? Not really. I am not much of a big spender, so when I do spend, it usually feels deserved. Haha. Excuses, excuses. It's not like I've achieved anything big...

So, been looking at Louis' old pictures and his denim jacket looked so cosy! I was never a fan. When I lived overseas, I thought it is not warm enough for me, so might as well buy a proper warm jacket. Read: Student, no money for anything only fashion (must be fashion AND function). But, now, I thought I could rock it. Hahahaha! Am so wrong!

Good thing, I always do my research. I actually wanted the Planet Holltwood one, but it is discontinued, and the thrifted ones are expensive! So, I think the Levi's ex-boyfriend trucker jacket would be my next choice. Suddenly, I realized, hey, wearing tudung now, I wonder how I would style it.

Thank God I did go online to look for inspirations and...I tak jumpa any hijabi that could style it to my liking! So, nope, couldn't pull it off. Cancel purchase. Money saved.

Next would be bag, shoes and jeans. Things I have mentioned before...

Today, I did finish a novel- Firefight by Brandon Sanderson. Since life is less hectic now, I want to read again, other than children's books. Haha.

It's quite hard to find his books. Sold out or you need to pre-order. Rather pricey too. Bought two of his books during the recent Big Bad Wolf sale. Itu pun, not the popular ones. Tapi, 10 ringgit saja, murah sangat! I really want the The Final Empire, they say it's a good book to start with.

Anyway, could you believe they are people out there who question the validity of reading fiction books! They think it's time wasting and non productive. Say what! That never ever crossed my mind, I thought reading novels are already nerd enough! Haha. These people are another whole new level of nerd.

Reading is relaxing and my imaginations run wild when reading fictions. I don't like motivational/ self-help books. I don't know why, maybe because I think they are all the same. Ah, well, whatever, you feel smarter whenever you read, fiction or not. That's my opinion.

Indifferent. That's how I feel tonight.

Looking through my feeds, seeing other people accomplish big things in their life, and then, there's me. Not jealous, happy for them, but wishing I could have them all too...

I've come to terms that my life is not so bad after all. I mean, I always believe that we have our own hurdles in life. If you are on top all your life, in all that you do, then, well, you are the chosen one. Even Nabi pun didn't have it easy. Don't forget that.

Anyway...I always try to motivate my friends instead. Using myself as an example. Never give up! Don't stop! Your time will come soon! You are not as bad as meeee! Hehehe...

Okay. Let's talk about dumb things. Like...It's Black Friday, did you buy anything?

I'm eyeing on this Tory Burch bag, but the colours I am after are not on sale. Tory Burch is not so expensive kan, but still, I want to buy it at discounted price. Because I am like that!

I also need a pair of black jeans. But jeans are difficult to buy online. I'm going to try the Zara and Uniqlo ones, once it's safe to shop again. I haven't been back to see Mother in a loooonnggg time...

Aahh...And lastly, the thing that I might be revealing here only...My current crush is Louis Tomlinson yang comel...Good thing I ada blog ni kan...I can always write stuff like this on the blog. No judgement. Hahaha...I nak tengok dia live this 12th December...Lets!

My husband came home at 10.30pm just now and asked me, "Malam ni tak exercise ke?"

Well, well, well. I work out when I feel like it. And now that my husband is asking...Should I get my ass up and sweat?

Ugh. I know some people like to have someone who reminds you, motivates you, be your training partner...But why do I feel like I am being judged and criticised instead?

Sebok je kan...(Rolls eyes)

My male friend told me this-

He knows a lady, whose is so depressed, because she felt neglected after her husband got a second wife.

Of course, as a woman, I could feel her pain.

But my idiot friend said-

Her husband is rich. When you look at her, you could see the huge gold bangles she's wearing. She even told me that her husband bought her gold jewelleries just last month. So, terabai macam mana tu?

See? Idiot, right?

What about, emotionally neglected? You think you can simply buy our feelings? The world would be much less complicated if it's that easy!

If money can really make us happy, why do we fall in love with poor men, sometimes?

Men...They always think they are being fair to their wives, when in actual fact, most likely, they are hurting perhaps all of their wives!

Sigh.

I pray for happiness for all deserving wives in the world.

Orang selalu cakap, sabarlah...Fine, I pray God will grant us all with patience. And please, please, please have faith. There will be ease after every hardship.

Most people with body image problem-

See themselves fat, but as a matter of fact, they are not fat.

My problem-

Looks in the mirror and think I am not that fat. See photos of myself- damn, what was I thinking!

I feel ridiculous. I need to change the mirror.

Inferiority complex. Depression. Low self-esteem.

When you are supposed to shop and make yourself happy, but instead, feeling like a total loser, because the people who used to go to school with you are a bunch of over achievers.

I am nobody. Can't even be pretty!

Booked a hotel room for a short holiday yesterday in the afternoon. A few hours later, we found out we had to cancel our plan.

Decided to keep my annual leaves. I need to spring clean the house, then, I looked forward to doing nothing. Suddenly, I was notified that school would be closed too! So, I will be stuck with them kids! Ugh. I love them so dearly, but I need my alone time.

Looking at them just now, without knowing how would I entertain them and educate them at the same time, I suddenly remembered that, maybe now, I need to focus on my son going for circumcision. My son agreed, and he said he's ready. So, tomorrow, I need to survey for khatan doctors. Hopefully, they can do it without the COVID-19 test. I don't want him to be traumatised twice!

Also...I managed to spend a lot within these 2 days. I think it is because I am stressed out that we could not proceed with our vacation lans. Hahaha.

Was buying books from Big Bad Wolf when I came across Dr. Seuss Learning Library book set. Almost purchased it but, luckily I found out that they are not written by Dr. Seuss himself. The review is all great, but, they are not the classic classics, you know what I mean?

I think I've mentioned before, how it is so amazing that Dr. Seuss wrote those books so long ago, even way before I was born, but my kids and I still enjoy reading them. Hebat, kan? Because I am aware of how old the books are, I sometimes imagine myself being at that time- the time when they consider 7 pounds for a pair of shoes is rather expensive!

Anyway, tiba-tiba je rasa nak cakap pasal buku hari ni. You might think it is so boring...Sometimes, I feel like I am on a mission that I want my kids to be more cultured. That's why I am always looking out for classic books.

I bought Billy Goat Gruff a few months ago. Kids love it. My pick when I need to bring books for dinner. They love it when I changed my voices to suit the characters.

I still haven't found the satisfying version of The Little Match Girl, yet. I like it to be age-appropriate for the kids (7 and 4 years olds). Please share, if you know!

Well, okay lah. Dah pukul 2. Nak tidur. Esok nak shopping for acrylic stuff pulak. Haha. And Zalora. Mogok punya pasal sebab PKPP/B. Hope to write again, soon...Bye!

Girl. 8 years old. Lost father when she was a toddler. Lost her mother this year. Her world totally changed. Even lost her old friends. Moved country.

Grandmother asked her to pray for her parents.

Upset, she said- Why do you always asking me to pray to God? You said to pray for mommy to get better! But she didn't get better, she died!

Oh, my heart. I can't imagine the burden she has to bear at such young age...

Remember, I made a confession that I recently like One Direction? Hahaha...No shame.

Yesterday marked their 10th year as a band. Boyband. But, somehow, it made me super melancholic and after I read Niall's, Liam's, Louis' dedications, I cried a little after I read Harry's post. Like, guyssss. And I am a new fan!

It started with me enjoying their old songs. Then, the Internet brought me to their stories, how they were formed, what happened to Zayn and Louis, watching their old silly videos, I grew to love them. Hahaha...OMG, why am I saying thisssss! I am nit obsessed, but I am like, a proud friend/ sister, watching them made it this far. And also, a little sad to what hapoened to their group. A little mad at Zayn, just post something to these people who obviously still love you!

And annoyed and disappointed at their 10th anniversary gift. So pathetic. That's it? So, it really must be over.

Also, Louis ni comel lahhhh...Once bubbly and so much fun. But, that's what happened when you grow up, right? We change. It's okay. It's time to move on...



Anyway, today is a post about celebrities, I guess.

I also am interested to follow Johny Depp's court case. Basically, he is suing The Sun newspaper for labelling him 'Wife beater'. From what I've read so far, Amber Heard is crazy. I am on Depp's side.

I liked Johny Depp before, then I found out he uses drugs, so he's not on my top list anymore. I mean, I am inclined to someone who is clean, so that person can be worth my attention, you see...

Anyway, Johny Depp is not perfect, plus, he's old now, but his say vs her say about their marriage, it's entertaining to me! I hope he wins the case and we get to cancel Amber Heard. Psycho lah minah tu...




And lastly, from our local scene. Kes si Sugu Pavithra tu. I remember like maybe, a month ago, punyalah viral- Di belakang setiap kejayaan wanita, ada lelaki yang baik. Something like that.

Pandailah korang punya cerita! Nasib baik I tak pernah like. Why? Because orang yang tulis cerita tu, tulis berdasarkan andaian. Nampak dalam video sweet sweet, terus puji melambung. Nothing against the couple, I swear, I am happy with what they have achieved so far. But I am disagreeing with writings without credibilities.

And to give Sugu the benefit of doubt, maybe, this is the first aggression that he had caused toward his wife. So that, we could forgive him. If not, I want to tell all women in the same shoes- to run. Protect yourself and your kids.

Hi...Lama tak tulis.

Well, basically I've been busy at home. You know, being domestic, doing Mom's job. I come home from work, I cook, kemas dapur, ask my eldest to do his revision, on most night we read the Muqaddam, if not, I just ask my eldest to recite from memories...Then, it's almost compulsory to read them bedtime stories...Still sticking Dr. Seuss, they have new favourites. My son likes Green Eggs and Ham, my daughter likes The Cat in the Hat.

Then, after they fall asleep, I lipat baju. Sometimes, I exercise. Still not losing weight though. What is thisssss...Weight fluctuates 53-55kg. I am alarmed if it hits 55kg, oh, please, my aim is 52kg...Just 52kg okay, why is it so hardddd...

I used to try to blog at my workplace, but the aircond is so cold, I can barely move there! Besides, quite busy lah...And no privacy.

Anyway...
My son has been rating my Mom's performance for the past few days. I mostly get zero star because I argue with him or force him to do his homework. He hates my instructions.

But tonight, when I was putting him to sleep, I read a book for him and I talked to him, telling him stories, massaged his hands as he wished, and he rated me as 4 stars. 4 stars! Why not 5? But he said he loves me.

Budak-budak zaman sekarang...Haha...

My son also has learned a new trick. Whenever I am angry or upset, and I look like I am going to scold him, he would quickly hug me and tell me he is sorry. Amboi, pandainya...Of course lah, tak jadi marah.

And funny thing just now, I was annoyed at my husband because he forgot to close the refrigerator's door properly before he went out. Ugh. I was so irritated, I went to my son's room and told him that he had to finish his homework, and he even tried to pull his trick on me even though it was not his fault. Hahaha.

I didn't realized I needed it. Because whenever he does that, I cooled down really quick, and I guess it's actually healthy for me. I hope they continue to do it. Forever. Yes, my daughter does it too, she did it first for a long, long time.

You know another thing that annoys me?

This ad randomly appeared on my FB and I thought it's ridiculous to claim 'Get a gorgeous box for free'.

Like, what the hell. That is a box, it's a part of your packaging, it's not even gorgeous, and you tell me it's a gift. Ikhlas ke tak ni? What's wrong with just giving only one gift- the scrunchie. But nooo, two is better than one, and what gift would cost you nothing extra but you think would be a good marketing ploy?

*Rolls eyes*

Please! So stupid. I am repelled just by reading this ad.