Progress is...

Doing a 30-second plank. Success!

Then, collapsed on the floor for 30 seconds.

Haha.

Anyway, would like to recommend you guys to watch Friday Night Dinner on www.soap2day.com

Netflix sucks.

I don't know why I enjoy British humour more lately.

Maybe around last week, I found out some people actually lose weight during MCO.

I was so shocked! Guys, I thought we were in the same boat, we were supposed to gain weight during MCO, together! Because we do nothing and we can't go out.

But the people who lost weight said
- they don't eat junk food anymore
- they cook healthy options now
- they drink more plain water
- they have more time to do exercises now, whereas when they are working, they wouldn't be able to go work out or would be too tired to work out

Say whatttt!!!

Okay, so, I have figured out my problem. Definitely not overeating.
Which is so sad...Because I am already not eating much, guys, but why do I still can't lose weight?

And we all know the answer, I just need to burn the calories by working out.
So obvious, but so hard to do. I prefer to reduce my calories intake.

Since last week, I've tried dancing again.

Backstory.
I gained weight when I was in boarding school. Obviously, because we ate 6 times per day, and I always finished my food. Hey, I was taught not waste rezeki.

When I was waiting for my SPM results, I had so much time in hand, I tried jogging around the lake, bringing my niece out to play. Because I have this silly thought that some guy would notice me and would try to get my number. Hahahaha! Just like in the movies...Me and my stupid fantasies...
Anyway, noone ever did. Then I got lazy. But I knew I was chubby and needed to lose the kilograms.
I needed to sweat.

So, I never switch on any fans in the house (unless they are other people around and they complain that it's hot), until now. I also started to dance in my room. Back then, I had a radio in my room, and I would dance to whatever songs they are. I would sweat so much...
Besides, I am always the dancer, not the singer. And it worked for me! (Plus, the fact that Mother did not cook 6 times per day for me)

Yeah, so, dancing again. Sure, I was sweating and tired, but I didn't get any sore muscle.
Good sign? Maybe not, because I am not a fit lady to begin with, so any kinds of exertion should cause me some sore. I had fun dancing to my favourite songs, but it doesn't mean I am doing it right, or burning enough fat!

Then, I changed my approach. Maybe, I should do a high intensity proper workout.

I came across a celebrity IG, and she showed some of her home workout. I decided to try it. Three parts. Each part, maybe around 4 or 5 different exercise. 15 times x 3 for each.

I watched it, and it looked doable, so challenge accepted! I even said to myself- I will even add a one-minute plank to this set of exercise. Smug.

Last night, I only did one part guys! One!
And I planked for 10 seconds for 6 times. That's one minute in total.
But, I was so sore, that is how out of shape I was!

I will get better. Right?



I bought this last year. It was on sale. Only RM150.

I bought the S size. But it took me a lot of squeezing! Like, why do you do this to me! Shouldn't you warn us the buyers that the size runs small for this particular design! (Because I could fit the other designs, no problem) And, I couldn't return the item because it was on sale, and couldn't swap with size M because there's no more stock. (I just checked, there are stocks now, but price is RM350)

Because of that, I made a resolution, that I would lose weight before next Raya, which will happen in less than 30 days, boohoo! And I thought I would naturally lose the weight during Ramadhan, but  MCO occurred and that totally messed with what I had in mind.

I remember when I was in my early 20s, I didn't mind being at the weight I am currently at. But, it is just not the same anymore.

Then, I was montok and perky at the right places. Now, gravity works (as if it didn't work before, hahaha, that's a silly way to put things, Ectopy!). Everything is pulled down. Menggelebeh.

I only want to lose 3-4kgs! Come on! I should be able to do this! And I want to become stronger. The workout video looks so easy, because I used to be able to do it! That's why I was so confident, like, yeah, sure, I could do that. But I was wrong! (Rolls eyes at myself)

What have I become during MCO?

A Directioner.

I am maybe 10 years late, but, whatever, if they are going to do a reunion soon, I am definitely going to their concert and acting and feeling like a teenager.

MCO made me so! Even watched their concert and TV Special on Youtube and watched This Is Us on soap2day.com.

I have no shame!

Love Niall and Louis. Harry is the pretty boy and Liam is so kind. Neutral feeling for Zayn, because he has issues, don't want to be involved with someone like that. I avoid baggage.

Niall is so active on IG too, been following him and watched his Live IG. Oh, my God, this is what I have become during MCO...

Assisted my son in his Hafazan. He got it, so I said, "Pandaiiiii."

It's a compliment. A form of positive enforcement. An encouragement.

But, you know how he responded?

Son- Pandai je?
Me- Ye lah. Dah hafal tu, pandai lah.
Son- Pandai je?
Me- Okay...Clever boy, you are a genius!

Amboi, amboi, budak zaman sekarang ni...Is pandai not good enough?

I feel like I want to continue writing about what I've watched.

1- Inbetweeners UK. Go watch the series if you haven't. It's the only series that had made me laugh out loud for every single episode except one. Seriously.

The appeal for this series
. Only 3 seasons, with 6 episodes for each season
. Relatable characters. They are so average
. When I say 'relatable', I didn't mean that it reminded me of my own teenage years. I didn't grow up in the UK, my friends and I weren't trying to lose our virginities or anything like that. But, I definitely remember the talk that my guy friends and I had about female stuff. Like, the different kinds of bras and about periods, and it was hilarious.
We also would ask questions like- have you ever masturbated before? And I particularly remember this one boy said never. We were 18 years old. Now, I know he was lying!

I got spanked one time by a classmate and I didn't know that was inappropriate until years later. I remember the parties we attended, how it was so exciting to go to KL on Merdeka eve and New Year eve, go clubbing and came home at 3-4am. Urgh. I could only do that if I slept over my friend's house. Her mom was quite cool about it because her older cousins would bring us out and drove us wherever, and we can trust her cousins. Questionable... (-___-)
One of her older cousin introduced us to porn also!

And by morning, her mom would prepare brunch for us. Haha. Life was easy and so much fun, then.

So, relatable to me in that sense.

2. Watched La La Land and love it. More like, I love how the film make me feel. I travelled back in time while watching it. Brought memories how in love I was with my boyfriends, some less than the others, but those happiness...The feelings of falling in and out of love...I like that. <3 p="">
3. My friend suggested The Fault In Our Stars. Because of his recommendations, he said, "I like the lines used in the film," I expected it to be Wow. It wasn't for me. In fact, it was a little bit annoying.

They are a bit too young for real love. Augustus is too good looking and charming to be someone who never had sex before, let alone no girls would fall for him. Ridiculous.

And the travelling to Amsterdam, meeting your favourite writer, and suddenly havr terminal cancer stage 4, when you look so fine, not even pale, skinny or fatigue...Come on...

And also, this cancer boy went to Amsterdam without his parents. And it was his first ever flying experience. No parents!

I really don't understand why you people like this film so much.

4. I also watched many futuristic films. But they are mostly depressing. Can you imagine being in outer space, all lonely and back. Floating in nothingness...

5. Andddd...Did you guys manage to see The Phantom Of The Opera by The Shows Must Go On on Youtube? It was up for 48 hours only. What a way to spend your time in isolation!

I've always liked theatres, started when I was in college, introduced by a friend who went to SSP (Sekolah Seri Puteri). Apparently, these elite girls were exposed to the culture since they were very young. Been hooked since. I've also watched theatres and ballet performances in a few European countries, and when my kids are a little older, I am going to force them to watch with me (because my husband doesn't enjoy it).

I've brought my kids to Siti Di Alam Fantasi and they certainly enjoyed the show, especially my eldest. He laughed and laughed...Good times.

And a great excuse to dress up, my favourite part of going to theatres. Haha.

I have to confess-

The only reasons why I watched Dunkirk

One: I was bored, not that many movies that attract my interest

Two: Found out Harry Styles acted in it. Like what, since when did he become a professional actor?

Hahaha...I know, I know, I am lame. I am busy with work and my family and I stopped following celebrity news a long time ago.

Anyway, I hate war movies. I find them boring. Like, Saving Private Ryan, or any other serious war movies I had watched.

Once, in University, I watched this war movie, I can't remember what it was called, but it was so boring. The only thing I remember was saying- Well, this is the first movie I that I watch with no women in it. No romance or kissing too.

I expected the same for Dunkirk. It took me 2 days to finish watching the film. The first half was boring, maybe because I was still getting used to the storyline and figuring out who's who. Like, who is French, who is British? Mind you, I watched it even without the synopsis or trailers.

So, yeah, first half of the movie was boring and I was getting sleepy. I actually contemplated whether to continue watching the second half. But because I didn't get enough of Harry, what the hell, just finish the movie. True story.

But tonight was different. I cried watching that film. Because by now, I can feel their desperation and fear, how uncertain life is, I understand how the father feels. I also noticed the soundtracks by the incredible Hans Zimmer, and how the sounds actually build up the suspense. Genius, don't you think? He consistently delivers, if not all, at least for the past 10 years or so...

And it's a film by Christopher Nolan. He's an amazing director. All of sudden, I now appreciate the director. He managed to make a war movie to be emotional and interesting, in a tasteful way too. No light comedies, no ramance, no inspiring dialogues...Yup, not much talking in this one.

In summary, I am surprised that I did enjoy it. Maybe, it's because I am older and I am now able to appreciate the little details. Like, I can see myself, 60 years in the future talking about today's war against COVID-19. If my 20 year-old self watched it, I am pretty sure she would think it's boring. I had different views and priorities then.

Just for the records

18 April 2020- my son complained that it's boring to stay at home, for the first time ever since the lockdown...

Jemu jelak. This is our life now. Who would have thought, eh?

I laughed out loud watching Inbetweeners on Netflix. Hahaha...It's immature (about average teens trying to get laid), it's gross, and they use adult language (I wouldn't even let teenagers watch this show), but it is ridiculously funny!

Only 3 seasons, 6 episodes each season. The first time I didn't laugh out loud was while watching Episode 4 Season 3, so...Yeah, another 2 episodes to go.

And...I just bought 12 tudungs, some of them in different sizes but same colours. Am I tamak, membazir or what!
But, they are pretty...

What does 'dititik' mean?

Halia dititik. Does it mean chopped finely until it looks like dot dot dot?

But that doesn't make sense because I heard 'serai dititik' too and nobody chops serai finely...Or do they?

I want to learn how to cook but I don't know what it means...

This is just like 'pecah minyak'. What the hell! But I watched Youtube, so now I roughly know what it is...I think.

Good thing about MCO-
I can tell the hairdresser why I have bad hair.

So unruly, frizzy, breaks easily, might have dandruff problems, uneven lenghth, unhealthy and it's getting too long!

If I was a teacher, I would be the garang type. I could be patient, but when I see my student is slow to pick things up, my voice would be louder and louder.

And this particular student of mine, responds better when I am strict. I am still figuring out whether he is a visual, auditory or kinestetic learner.

I worry lah. Is it wrong to worry? Is worrying about my son's ability means that I am not proud of him? Does this mean that I don't believe in his capabilities? Is it because he's a boy? Or maybe he's a late bloomer? Am I worried for nothing? I mean, he is just 7 years old.

I was angry at my son because he's slow to memorize the surah, not fast enough in Maths, has bad handwriting, piano skills have not improved yet, still bumpy when reading Iqra', not a good speller.

Sigh.

I keep comparing him to myself. Because I remember how I was when I was 7. And I hate this thought that I have- why can't you do it like I did.

You know, maybe I am just a bad parent. Me, a mother, who doesn't even know how to make her own son shine.

I've been avoiding the words 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend', when talking to my kids. I just want them to see the opposite genders as friends, it's okay to like them or not, because they are people. And if you like them, it doesn't mean you are a couple. I never tease my kids with any girls/ boys.

When we watch TV ir cartoons, I'd just say
- Oh, boy tu suka dekat girl tu...
- Dia dah kahwin dengan boy tu...

Hehe. So, my daughter has this perception that: if you kiss somebody on the mouth, it means you are married to that person.
(She'll say something like this: Nak kahwin dengan Daddy!- when she insists to kiss her dad on the lips)

Just now, I watched a funny Youtube video, and my son was asking what was it about, and why was it funny. When explaining, I said- Girlfriend dia jealous, bla bla bla.

And he understood. I guess he knew the word from the Internet.

Then he said, "Abang K tahu siapa girlfriend Daddy. Girlfriend Daddy is Mommy lah!"

Good boy.

My daughter ni pulak, when she was 3 years old, she said she had 4 friends. Amira, Athilash, Sofia and Adam.
Adam was a new kid. She never mentioned Adam before.
She said, "Baby H suka Adam. Sebab Adam handsome. Adam handsome macam Abang K."

Haha. Baby H adores her brother. Whenever she compliments someone on her looks, she'd compare them to Abang K or my husband.

Baby H is 4 this year. And for past 1 week, she has been enjoying Teen Titans.

I like Teen Titans too! It's funny.

I just think 4-year-olds shouldn't be watching Teen Titans. You are a toddler, not a teenager! Dia tengok sampai tergelak-gelak, macam faham sangat je...Faham ke?

You are important.
You are significant.
You are here for a reason.
You are here with a purpose.
You do contribute something to the society.

To all of you and us.

Responding to the people who might have been hurt by certain statements made from certain people.

People are mad, but what do they expect? She is human and make mistakes too. Nobody is perfect.

Anyway, she said she didn't say it.
We forgive and move on, okay?

When I am at work, I have high ambition. Like, if I was at home, I could cook more often, mop the floor, teach the kids...

But, when weekend comes, like today, all we did was- play. No lessons at all.

We pretended we were in the aeroplanes (my son wants to be in first class seats only, not even business class, okay, first class!), and we played police and robbers, we had a running race...Watched TV and the tablets in between and ate lots of chocolates. We didn't do any painting today, though.

I don't know whether I should feel guilty or not.

I'm guilty because I should've used the time to teach my kids Maths, or forced them to practice their piano, or read Iqra'.
But, on the other hand, some people say that playtime is when they learn too. I don't know what they get to learn when they play those games though.

But you know what I tell myself? Even if they didn't get to benefit anything from all of it, at least it did me good. We were creating memories. The ones that I would cherish when I am old. I guess, the playtime benefits me best.