If I was a teacher, I would be the garang type. I could be patient, but when I see my student is slow to pick things up, my voice would be louder and louder.

And this particular student of mine, responds better when I am strict. I am still figuring out whether he is a visual, auditory or kinestetic learner.

I worry lah. Is it wrong to worry? Is worrying about my son's ability means that I am not proud of him? Does this mean that I don't believe in his capabilities? Is it because he's a boy? Or maybe he's a late bloomer? Am I worried for nothing? I mean, he is just 7 years old.

I was angry at my son because he's slow to memorize the surah, not fast enough in Maths, has bad handwriting, piano skills have not improved yet, still bumpy when reading Iqra', not a good speller.

Sigh.

I keep comparing him to myself. Because I remember how I was when I was 7. And I hate this thought that I have- why can't you do it like I did.

You know, maybe I am just a bad parent. Me, a mother, who doesn't even know how to make her own son shine.