I am still emotionally unstable, but I am better now.
My son is asleep and I decided to browse the Internet like I used too. You know, wasting time...

Anyway...So, there's this guy who people might perceive him as an all-rounder. He has a good career, earn a good income, manages to do side business, looks like he has a decent family and he even has time to explore his artsy side.

I worked with him before he quit and pursued better things in life.

If you ever worked with him before...Phew...What a horrible character. He never did things directly to me (I joined shortly just before he resigned), but my staff hated him so much.

They were all invited to his farewell party.
I saw the invitation card. But none of them went.

"Kenapa korang tak pergi makan-makan?" I asked.
"Kitorang tak hingin...Lagi suka dia berhenti kerja. Cepat-cepatlah keluar dari sini!"
"Apa yang dia buat sampai korang tak suka sangat dekat dia?"

All of them sat around me and told me
- Dia pernah baling barang dekat kita, Miss...Barang tu dah lah kotor, melekit-lekit...
- Dia suka maki kitorang, Miss...Macam-macam dia kata...Tau lah dia tu boss, kitorang ni staff biasa je...Tapi kita ni manusia juga...
- Basically, they told me that he's such an egoistic, arrogant person.

I have a confession.
Whenever I see terrible attitudes, I always wonder how can that person be married. Like, how can someone fall in love with a person like that! And, I always imagined, the spouse must be equally bad...That's why they belong together. Or, I would sympathize the spouse because he/ she is so unfortunate to end up with someone like that. Hehehe...Me and my imagination!

Anyway...
The reason I am writing is...
I found his blog. If I was a stranger, I would totally envy his success.

But, I know his story and I wouldn't glorify someone with that kind of attitude, no matter how successful he is.

Which makes me feel a little bit better about myself.
I keep reminding myself that I shouldn't compare myself with other people. I don't know what's going on behind closed doors. Nobody is perfect. Being me is okay too, with flaws and all...I'm not as successful, but at least I have better relationship with my staff.

This is a dark secret.
It's bad...
For me to find faults in other people to make myself feel better.
I am no saint because I've got a hint of happiness when I find out someone is less than perfect.
Like, 'I win! You are no better than me...'
My heart is not pure for feeling like this.
Ustadz would say saya ni busuk hati sikit.
That's the truth, and that's how I am feeling right now, that's my Postsecret and I am not proud of it.