A few days ago,

Me: Come on, cheer me up. Tell me something, anything!

Friend: Well, my ex Liyana is getting married next Saturday. Should I go or should I not go?

Me: Oh, God, please don't refer her as your ex. As far as I know, you guys weren't really in a relationship. In fact, dalam banyak-banyak ex-girlfriend that you have, none can really be called your ex-girlfriend!

My friend, my good friend of 10 years now.

Dated many people, told me he was in a relationship 3 times, I never met any of the girlfriends!

Patut ke tak patut? Asyik tengok gambar je...Padahal semua pun duduk dekat Klang Valley je.

Everytime he told me he was in a relationship, I got excited. Ye lah, excited lah nak kawan-kawan dengan my good friend's girlfriends!

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Last year,

Friend: I'm bored. Let's go out, have lunch and watch a movie, maybe.
Me: Yeay! I'm free today! Let's!

So, we met.

Me: So, how's your girlfriend?
Friend: I don't know. The last time we talked was on...Hmm...Wait, let me recall...Two weeks ago.

Me: How can you not call her for 2 weeks!
Friend: Because I've been busy.

Me: But, but...Your offices are just like, 10 minutes away from each other!

Me: If you're bored, why didn't you ask her out today?
Friend: Don't know.

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Last year,

Me: Yeay! Singapore! Why don't you ask Liyana to come too?
Friend: Eh? Tak payahlah...

Me: Does she even know that you are going to Singapore?

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5 years ago,

Friend: I broke up with Shima.
Me: Eh, why? I never even met her yet!

Friend: It's not working. I'm not into her.
Me: Then, why did you ask her to be your girlfriend then?

Friend: I was lonely.

Me: You're so jahat.
Friend: I'm not a bad boyfriend. I bought iPod Touch for her! I always called her. Chatted with her. I brought her to my friend's wedding.

Me: But she loves you so much. Look at the stuffs she sent.
Friend: I know...Look, look at this.

Me: What's this?

It was a jar filled with lovey-dovey messages she wrote and made into origami little stars.

Me: Oh. my God. This is so sweet!
Friend: She told me to read one star a day.

Friend: I was excited at first, but then I got bored.
Me: But, but, what if there's a hidden message she's trying to let you know?!

Friend: Never thought of that before.
Me: How could you! Now, we have to read them all to that!

Friend: Let's do that!

Some of the messages made me go Awww, but I don't remember what she wrote. What I know is, it was a really sweet gesture of her. Then I said things to make my friend feel guilty for breaking up with her. Haha.

(Then, we found out her mother passed away and she also flunked her final year exam. Ouch.)

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10 years ago,

Friend: I am not speaking to Faiz or Aisyah again. Diorang dua boleh pergi mampus.

Aisyah left my friend for his bestfriend, Faiz.

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Me: Oh, God, please don't refer her as your ex. As far as I know, you guys weren't really in a relationship. In fact, dalam banyak-banyak ex-girlfriend that you have, none can really be called your ex-girlfriend!

Do you think my friend is secretly gay?

He never texted me back afterwards. Dah 3 hari dah. Alamak, takkan nak terasa pulak dah...!