What do you do when you love your job, but you hate your workplace and the people working with you?
It feels so lonely. The people are unhelpful. A small favour would become into something big. Semua pun nak berkira. Mulut pulak suka memerli. Lepas tu kecoh satu dunia. Dari boss, rakan-rakan sekerja, sehinggalah staff dan client...Sama je...
I really miss my old workplace. In a few months, I already went on vacations with my colleagues/ friends. We'd go out after work, watch movies together, spend the weekends to shop, scout for whatever cravings that we may have. There would always be something to celebrate for. Birthdays, baby showers, hens nights, TGIFs...If there's a problem at work, they would be there for me. If the problem can't be fixed, they would be there for supports. We laughed a lot even though the workload is probably 10 times more than what I am having now.
Until now, I still haven't found anybody that I can really get along with. That's pathetic. Am I the problem here?
I am happy here, when I am home, with my husband.
True enough, you can't have everything. Not at the same time.
I repeatedly tell myself that I should apply for a transfer. The problem is, what about my husband? Kesian pula dia, he probably would think that I am unhappy because of him.
The only reason I can survive here is him.
Today, I cried at work. Actually, I probably feel like crying almost everyday at work.
Which makes me feel guilty subsequently.
The question is, is happiness equals to gratefulness and sincerity?
If I am grateful, shouldn't I be happy? If I am sincere, shouldn't I be happy? Is it possible for a grateful and sincere person to be unhappy? Am I unhappy because deep down, I am actually ungrateful and insincere?!
Mode: Worthless, lost, confused, hoping to feel better
14 hours ago