Me: So, how are things?

Bf: Everything's okay.

Me: How's Adam?

Bf: Okay.

Me: Andrew?

Bf: Okay.

(Okay this was getting boring, so I returned my focus to Adam, my boyfriend's good-looking bestfriend :) )

Me: Adam bagi apa untuk birthday girlfriend dia?

Bf: Entah, I tak tanya.

Me: Girlfriend dia bagi apa untuk birthday Adam?

Bf: Perfume kot.

Me: Boring lah girlfriend Adam ni! Baik I yang couple dengan Adam! Hehehe...

Bf: I ketuk kepala you karang!

Me: Hahahaha...You tau tak, orang cakap, 'Jikalau sayangkan burung, biarkan burung itu terbang bebas. Kalau burung itu memang untuk mu, burung itu akan terbang kembali kepadamu'.

Bf: Mana boleh! Kalau ada orang lain tangkap burung tu, macam mana dia nak terbang dah! Falsafah mana you ambil ni. Salah! Tak boleh guna pakai! Biarlah burung tu mati dalam sangkar Abang, jangan mati dalam sangkar orang lain!

Me: Hahahahaha!

Bf: (Laughs) Pandai-pandai je you berfalsafah ye...

Me: I baca dalam blog orang lah!

As much as sometimes, I wish to leave the country and work somewhere else, last night and today made me glad that I had not. I don't like the Malaysian working mentality, but I guess I have to make it tolerable.

1) Even though my aunt is nearing her 7th decade, she knows how to use Facebook. Ehem. Auntie moden ni...And so, she uploaded the photos of her and her spouse, touring Europe because I have a cousin who married a local and lives there.

Nice. I want to go there someday. Then, I saw the photo of another aunt (let's name her aunt number 2) who lives 24 hours away from Malaysia, also in Europe together with my aunt and uncle. But aunt number 2 is with a Mat Salleh. So, I guess, the Mat Salleh is her new boyfriend.

Aunt number 2 has two children, the first is even older than me. And now she has a new boyfriend, I didn't even know she was divorced because Mother told me she was not. I guess, the correct term to use is aunt number 2 and her husband bukan Melayu is separated.

Giving the state I am in right now, in terms of faith, I don't think I'd be able to resist all the temptations there are overseas. For me, the people who can survive far from their comfort zones, and still have their feet grounded, are the strongest people around. Their foundations are so strong that you could put them anywhere and they will still be the same.

I am fortunate to be protected by a familiar environment. Kalau tak, mesti dah sesat juga.

2) Last night, I received a call from Peter.

"Buat apa? Jom keluar minum?"

I asked, "Dengan siapa?"

"Dengan orang biasa lah..."

Orang biasa would be Peter, Zainal, Joe and I. We were classmates when we were in highschool. We were together for only two years, but I am so glad that we are still in touch after more than 10 years.

We used to be really close, but after school, we went separate ways. Peter were kicked out from school even before SPM (he sat for SPM in another school), Zainal went to Japan and Joe studied in a local university.

Peter is the one who always get people together. And he also includes me most of the time. Like last night. We meet up probably once a year, or once every three months, but our phone numbers never change and it is always easy to contact them.

See, I could never join the late night sessions if I were abroad.

However, I don't understand with the girls in my class. A couple of them are getting married in December and they don't even bother to ask for my address. Sure, their status says: "Please leave your address in my message box" but that's not enough! It's so not personal, so distant, so ajak-ajak ayam.

Don't ever do that! It's rude!

I've shared a couple years with them, they were like my sisters back in school. Maybe that's why it hurts me. If they had invited me properly, I would have taken a leave and willingly go as far as I have to just to be a part of their big days.

I won't do that to any of my guests. I would personally message them via phone or Facebook and say something like, "Hi. How are you? Just to let you know that I am getting married and it will be a great pleasure if you can come. It's a good excuse to see you after a very long time. I really hope you can make it" or something like that.

I wouldn't care if my fingers break for typing it to so many people as long as people can sense my sincerity in having them at my special ceremony.

I know Peter, Joe or Zainal will never do that to me. They will even ask me out for minum-minum before they tie the knot. I know this because Joe did ask us out the night before his engagement and we actually sat down and talk until 4am.

Entahlah. Perhaps girls just don't like me. I better stick to my male friends.

Or I should start growing up and learn not to care. It's just a stupid wedding. Tak payah la nak amik hati sangat.

Lately, financial issues have become very sensitive for my boyfriend. Honestly, I don't mind at all, but somehow, he would get offended with what I said even though I meant it differently.

Apparently, we are not the only couple who fight about this.

I have a married friend who one day, came to work looking glum.

Then, she told me that her life after marriage is not all flowers and candies.

I asked her what was wrong, so she spilled to me about her stingy husband.

Her husband makes, on average, 6 digits monthly salary. He's young and successful but he is very protective about his money. My friend wants her husband to buy her this and that, but her husband said, "Why can't you use your own money? You are working and make good money as well."

How could he compare, someone who makes less than RM10k per month, with someone who earns hundred thousands of ringgit per month!

Anyway, this husband sometimes left a RM50 not to my friend in the morning, which my friend commented, "My father also gave me RM50 when I was 17! I feel like a schoolkid! He is so rich, but RM50?!"

I understand where she's coming from. It's not about the amount of money that he gives, but the generosity. Why does he let his wife ask when he can simply give without being asked to?

My friend however feels bad herself, "Perhaps I am tamak. It's probably my fault. I am asking too much, am I?"

I tried to be diplomatic, I really don't want to take sides, so I said, "Come on, I'm sure your boyfriend spends on something. My boyfriend always spends on his jeans and clothes."

"He spends on his gadgets. Our house is very canggih one. But that doesn't count."

"What about cars? You can choose whatever car you choose to drive, right?"

"Yes, but there are all under his names."

Hm...

"Next time, when you go shopping, you just ask. Maybe he's the type who needs to be asked."

"I ask many times. He does buy me things, but after much of nagging and eventually reluctantly buy the designer handbags I want. He could afford them, but why is it so hard for me to get them?"

"Maybe he was raised not to spend so much. He wasn't all the time rich, I assume?"

"Yes. His family wasn't very well-off until he started this business."

"See...That's why...Look, why don't you ask for something that you guys can do together. Like go have vacations or something."

"I tried! He doesn't want! I don't mean to brag, but we could go to London every week if we want to, but nak pergi sekali setahun pun dia taknak! We could have stayed in a nice hotel, but he'd choose a simple 3-star hotel."

I finally gave up and said, "Next time, you tell your husband, you simpan duit banyak banyak nak buat apa hah!!!"

She smiled a bit. "It's not so much about the money, you know. It's just that he is the husband. He has the responsibility to take care of me. He is the one who is supposed to support me. I don't feel like I am married. I love him. But...I don't know lah. Maybe we got married too young."

"What about your birthday?"

"I don't get anything for my birthday. And our anniversary is coming up. I don't whether I have the mood to celebrate it. Why must I buy him a present when he doesn't buy me anything? I don't care, next time, I am going to ask for the most expensive diamond ring and he better buys it to me!"

Isn't it ironic that people who have loads of money, fight about money?

I hope my boyfriend realizes that I love him whether he is rich or not. I hate it to be extra careful in my conversation just so he doesn't get overly sensitive if I talk the material world.

(Sigh)

relationships

I love just sitting at home doing nothing. Er, if surfing the Internet is considered nothing.

My boyfriend called just now,
Him: Hai, Sayang!
Me: Hai, Sayang!
Him: Hai, Sayang!
Me: Hai, Sayang!
Him and I screaming: Hai, Sayanggggg!!!

(Laughs) I love it when we act silly together!

Me: You ni, layan je I...Cuba sekali sekala tu you tak layan I...
Him: I rasa you sayang I sebab I selalu layan you kan?

(Laughs)

Him: Tengah buat ape?
Me: Tengok gambar orang kahwin. Abang, jom lah kahwin.
Him: Kita kahwinlah, Sayang...
Me: Cantiklah diorang ni kahwin. Mekap cantik, baju cantik...Tapi mahal lah...
Him: Agak-agak kita kahwin nanti, cantik tak?
Me: Mestilah I cantik! You, I tak tahulah...

(Laughs)

Him: You ni, dari dulu sampai sekarang suka kenakan I! Walaupun I tak handsome, I tetap suami you tau!

(Laughs)

I am in love.

Last week, I befriended with a colleague. She asked a lot about my boyfriend, and I willingly told her about him

Friend: Boyfriend you sounds like someone who is baik hati.
Me: Memang dia baik pun. I rasa kalau dia tak baik, mesti I dah tinggalkan dia. Because he
doesn't have anything else. He's not rich, not handsome, he is just so kind-hearted. (Smiles)

Friend: Why aren't you with Brad P? You guys would make a great couple.
Me: Because, if me and him were to happen, it's like bertepuk sebelah tangan. Eh, no, mana-mana tangan pun tak bertepuk. Besides, Brad P has too many admirers. He's genuinely nice to everyone.
Friend: Yes, I understand what you mean. I know he doesn't do it intentionally to play with their hearts, but some girls might take it wrongly.
Me: I can never imagine my boyfriend treating all girls the way Brad P does. Kalau dia buat jugak, siap dia!





Yesterday, I received a call from my good friend, Jack.
Jack: Cuti?
Me: Yes.
Jack: Plan apa hari ni?
Me: Tak ada plan lagi. Tengah tengok TV ni.
Jack: I baru balik kerja ni...Nak lepak kejap. Tak tahu nak ajak siapa.
Me: Your girlfriend?
Jack: Yeah lah! I totally forgot about her! Dah lama I tak contact dia!
Me: Oh, my God! Jack, tak baik lah buat macam tu!
Jack: Dia pun tak contact I jugak...Jom keluar.
Me: Pergi mana? I nak makan! I dah lama tak makan yang sedap-sedap!

And so, we decided to meet at Pavillion.

Jack: Hari tu, Samsul belikan chocolate Godiva ni untuk girlfriend dia.
Me: Oh, my God! Bencinya diorang ni! Bestnya jadi girlfriend Samsul!
Jack: I rasa, Samsul tu tak patutlah...
Me: What do you mean tak patut? Diorang bukannya ada problem pun kan...
Jack: Yeah, but I think Samsul is pampering his girlfriend too much. He's always buying things for her and she rarely buys him things...
Me: Biarlah!
Jack: I think, and this is not only me thinking, Samsul je yang gives all the efforts to make their relationship works.
Me: Samalah macam you and your girlfriend kan!
Jack: (Laughs) That's because she wants me, bukan I yang nak kat dia!

I don't know how else to advice this dear friend of mine.

Too many mistakes since the very beginning.

His girlfriend has been waiting for him for so long. Until one fine day, they went out, and the girl poured her heart out about liking him.
Jack was touched, but being the typical guy that he is, he was unable to refuse her. I mean, she is a girl, he is a guy, there was girl who was throwing herself at him!

The girl even cried in tears of joy/ gladness when he said that he would give it a try.

OMG.

Once I found he is already in a relationship and the fact the girl cried in front of him, I told Jack that he better not breaks this girl's heart.

I know Jack and I know he is not so serious about this girl. I told him to take it slow and be truthful.

Jack said, "I am taking it slow. I told her this is a trial."

Yeah, right. He is not even being a good boyfriend to her so far.

I don't want to be a bad friend and lead him to a break-up, but I know sooner or later, things are going to get ugly. That's why I encourage him to call her, meet her, but he is always delaying it. I don't know whether he is intentionally doing it so that the girl would call it off instead of him.

I AM AGAINST FORCED/ OPPORTUNISTIC/ CONVENIENT LOVE.
I don't believe it will last and it will only cause pain.

And I don't understand why people want to rush into being in love just because "That person is nice, comes from a good family, has a good job."
People should wait until they meet someone who makes their hearts spark, not just because someone is there, so better grab him/ her.

You should be with the person who makes you truly happy. It's worth the wait.

This morning, I received an early morning call from my boyfriend. With his obvious just-woke-up-from-sleep voice, he asked me, "Do you love me?"

He asked whether I love him or not, at the wrong hour. It was 7am! Perlukah?

"Kenapa setiap hari you mesti tanya soalan yang sama?"

Him: Sebab Dato' Fadzilah Kamsah kata, nak tambah kasih sayang kena cakap 'I love you' hari-hari. Kena tanya selalu. Kalau dah malas nak jawab tu, maksudnya ada problem.

Me: I tanak ikut cakap Dato' Fadzilah Kamsah!

Seriously, I don't know why people would listen to his motivational talks. So not cool.





As most of you have probably know, I deal a lot with third class citizens. These are the people I wouldn't know existed if I didn't accept this job.

So, I met with this one family whom I pity so much. They are so poor.

"Kasihannya..." I said, regretting the poverty and cruelty that we have in this world.

"Boss, tak payah nak kasihan dekat orang macam ni...Diorang cukup sifat, boleh bekerja, antara rajin atau malas je..." said of my staffs.

Though I have to agree with her, but I also feel that the world could be unfair and with all the selfish rich people around, it must be so hard to come out from the bottom and beat the odds with the limited sources that you have.

I never deny that I am at where I am now, just because I am blessed with a good family with good connections and I went to good schools my entire life. I grew up in a controlled environment, so I turned out okay and fortunate. Even with that, sometimes, I feel that it is so difficult to keep up.

One person asked me, why I didn't go all out to capture the snatch thief who hit me and broke my car. There were CCTVs, I could have done the 'kawad cam' or described him to an artist. But I did not. I made a police report, I slept and I went back to work as usual.
I never gave my answers.

Actually, I really don't care if a person is a drug addict, a criminal, or simply plain lazy, because I just cannot believe a person is born evil. They just got on the wrong foot, mixed with the wrong crowd, grew up in a broken family. Deep down, they are good, it's just that we have to dig in into their rotten souls to find it.
Some people are desperate. I probably would have done the same if I were in their shoes.
I am trying not to judge these people. I don't want to punish them without knowing, ignoring the, 'What about the good things they have done in their lives, do we ever acknowledge those?' I let the justice to be done by God, because afterall, the hardest thing is to be a just leader.

Come on, even the prostitute who fed water to the dog in the desert is forgiven by God, why can't I?

I wish we can do more to help, no matter what nationality or race or faith we believe in. We are all human.

From experience, I always want to help but I don't know where to start. I have a lot of clothes that I don't want to wear anymore.
Previously, before my family moved to this current residence, I live in an open, friendly neighbourhood where donations could be collected freely. Beggars would come knocking on our doors asking to buy silly things (keropok lah, sticker ayat-ayat Quran lah) and Mother would serve them with water (because they are usually so tired from walking under the scorching hot sun) and then, open up our shoe rack and ask the kids to pick pairs of shoes, or Mother would bring down used clothes and give them away.

I don't get people doing that anymore. It's probably because now we live in a guarded community, gates are closed and I don't think they are allowed to go up the apartments. It's so sad.

So, please, I urge my readers to contribute. The easiest that I've found so far is
http://www.cimbclicks.com.my/cimbcares.htm

Or maybe, the next time you decide to bernazar, why not bernazar to donate some money instead of fasting for a change?






Have I ever told you how much I love Amazing Race? I even sometimes imagine myself in the race, winning! But who would I choose to be my partner? Definitely not my boyfriend. He is not very competitive and I don't think he has what it takes to win, haha, sorry, boyfriend, but it's true!

Besides, friends as a team is so much more fun than couples on a team. Couples are usually too emotional.

Having watched the latest Amazing Race on AXN makes me feel like going to Sweden and Russia. I also want to go Norway, Japan, Egypt, Italy etc.

I wish I have the money and ample of time to enjoy myself there.

Money. Tadi baru ajak suruh menderma, sekarang dah nak belanja pergi jalan-jalan pulak.

Aku manusia yang tak pernah puas. Heh.