This morning, I received an early morning call from my boyfriend. With his obvious just-woke-up-from-sleep voice, he asked me, "Do you love me?"
He asked whether I love him or not, at the wrong hour. It was 7am! Perlukah?
"Kenapa setiap hari you mesti tanya soalan yang sama?"
Him: Sebab Dato' Fadzilah Kamsah kata, nak tambah kasih sayang kena cakap 'I love you' hari-hari. Kena tanya selalu. Kalau dah malas nak jawab tu, maksudnya ada problem.
Me: I tanak ikut cakap Dato' Fadzilah Kamsah!
Seriously, I don't know why people would listen to his motivational talks. So not cool.
As most of you have probably know, I deal a lot with third class citizens. These are the people I wouldn't know existed if I didn't accept this job.
So, I met with this one family whom I pity so much. They are so poor.
"Kasihannya..." I said, regretting the poverty and cruelty that we have in this world.
"Boss, tak payah nak kasihan dekat orang macam ni...Diorang cukup sifat, boleh bekerja, antara rajin atau malas je..." said of my staffs.
Though I have to agree with her, but I also feel that the world could be unfair and with all the selfish rich people around, it must be so hard to come out from the bottom and beat the odds with the limited sources that you have.
I never deny that I am at where I am now, just because I am blessed with a good family with good connections and I went to good schools my entire life. I grew up in a controlled environment, so I turned out okay and fortunate. Even with that, sometimes, I feel that it is so difficult to keep up.
One person asked me, why I didn't go all out to capture the snatch thief who hit me and broke my car. There were CCTVs, I could have done the 'kawad cam' or described him to an artist. But I did not. I made a police report, I slept and I went back to work as usual.
I never gave my answers.
Actually, I really don't care if a person is a drug addict, a criminal, or simply plain lazy, because I just cannot believe a person is born evil. They just got on the wrong foot, mixed with the wrong crowd, grew up in a broken family. Deep down, they are good, it's just that we have to dig in into their rotten souls to find it.
Some people are desperate. I probably would have done the same if I were in their shoes.
I am trying not to judge these people. I don't want to punish them without knowing, ignoring the, 'What about the good things they have done in their lives, do we ever acknowledge those?' I let the justice to be done by God, because afterall, the hardest thing is to be a just leader.
Come on, even the prostitute who fed water to the dog in the desert is forgiven by God, why can't I?
I wish we can do more to help, no matter what nationality or race or faith we believe in. We are all human.
From experience, I always want to help but I don't know where to start. I have a lot of clothes that I don't want to wear anymore.
Previously, before my family moved to this current residence, I live in an open, friendly neighbourhood where donations could be collected freely. Beggars would come knocking on our doors asking to buy silly things (keropok lah, sticker ayat-ayat Quran lah) and Mother would serve them with water (because they are usually so tired from walking under the scorching hot sun) and then, open up our shoe rack and ask the kids to pick pairs of shoes, or Mother would bring down used clothes and give them away.
I don't get people doing that anymore. It's probably because now we live in a guarded community, gates are closed and I don't think they are allowed to go up the apartments. It's so sad.
So, please, I urge my readers to contribute. The easiest that I've found so far is
Or maybe, the next time you decide to bernazar, why not bernazar to donate some money instead of fasting for a change?
Have I ever told you how much I love Amazing Race? I even sometimes imagine myself in the race, winning! But who would I choose to be my partner? Definitely not my boyfriend. He is not very competitive and I don't think he has what it takes to win, haha, sorry, boyfriend, but it's true!
Besides, friends as a team is so much more fun than couples on a team. Couples are usually too emotional.
Having watched the latest Amazing Race on AXN makes me feel like going to Sweden and Russia. I also want to go Norway, Japan, Egypt, Italy etc.
I wish I have the money and ample of time to enjoy myself there.
Money. Tadi baru ajak suruh menderma, sekarang dah nak belanja pergi jalan-jalan pulak.
Aku manusia yang tak pernah puas. Heh.
17 hours ago