Wednesday, January 14, 2009


I am not supposed to be online at this time but a friend required my cyber presence so here I am and still here.

He is the only person that could share my sentiment about not being happy at the thing that we do. We are in the same field but geographically apart. Sure, my boyfriend listens, but I don't think he quite understands the depth of my problem because I often become annoyed by his replies.

I am giving myself another good few months to think this over, whether this will be a wise decision. I don't want to be one of those people who are miserable with their professions, it eats them slowly from the inside.

I questioned myself, if I were meant to be this, ain't I supposed to be good in it? Ain't I supposed to enjoy it, feel happy doing it?

I cried just now thinking there's something wrong with me. This is the path that I have chosen for myself but why do I feel like this? It's crazy, I thought I had a serious pathological problem in my brain.

The wild thought disappeared after I took some time to be on my own, spending 200 bucks on two pairs of jeans and I did have a good chat with my friend. Now I know I am not the only one feeling like a loser.

The most difficult thing now is: Keeping myself interested.

I need an inspiration.


Weed and Bandages said...

tengok buku2 hasil dari photographer terkenal mungkin?

Sir Pok Deng said...

Maybe you should take some new hobbies like shopping for example. The more shopping you do, the more happier you are. The more money you spent, the more feminine you are. That's the correct thing to do, perhaps. Please forgive me if I'm out the bound, provoking this stereotype connotation towards woman. Hey, I am man and there's nothing you can do about it. How about ya, mate?