Home today. Had migrain, so asked for a leave from work.

Anyway.

I've been on a shopping spree and have not really stopped yet. Do I feel guilty? Not really. I am not much of a big spender, so when I do spend, it usually feels deserved. Haha. Excuses, excuses. It's not like I've achieved anything big...

So, been looking at Louis' old pictures and his denim jacket looked so cosy! I was never a fan. When I lived overseas, I thought it is not warm enough for me, so might as well buy a proper warm jacket. Read: Student, no money for anything only fashion (must be fashion AND function). But, now, I thought I could rock it. Hahahaha! Am so wrong!

Good thing, I always do my research. I actually wanted the Planet Holltwood one, but it is discontinued, and the thrifted ones are expensive! So, I think the Levi's ex-boyfriend trucker jacket would be my next choice. Suddenly, I realized, hey, wearing tudung now, I wonder how I would style it.

Thank God I did go online to look for inspirations and...I tak jumpa any hijabi that could style it to my liking! So, nope, couldn't pull it off. Cancel purchase. Money saved.

Next would be bag, shoes and jeans. Things I have mentioned before...

Today, I did finish a novel- Firefight by Brandon Sanderson. Since life is less hectic now, I want to read again, other than children's books. Haha.

It's quite hard to find his books. Sold out or you need to pre-order. Rather pricey too. Bought two of his books during the recent Big Bad Wolf sale. Itu pun, not the popular ones. Tapi, 10 ringgit saja, murah sangat! I really want the The Final Empire, they say it's a good book to start with.

Anyway, could you believe they are people out there who question the validity of reading fiction books! They think it's time wasting and non productive. Say what! That never ever crossed my mind, I thought reading novels are already nerd enough! Haha. These people are another whole new level of nerd.

Reading is relaxing and my imaginations run wild when reading fictions. I don't like motivational/ self-help books. I don't know why, maybe because I think they are all the same. Ah, well, whatever, you feel smarter whenever you read, fiction or not. That's my opinion.

Indifferent. That's how I feel tonight.

Looking through my feeds, seeing other people accomplish big things in their life, and then, there's me. Not jealous, happy for them, but wishing I could have them all too...

I've come to terms that my life is not so bad after all. I mean, I always believe that we have our own hurdles in life. If you are on top all your life, in all that you do, then, well, you are the chosen one. Even Nabi pun didn't have it easy. Don't forget that.

Anyway...I always try to motivate my friends instead. Using myself as an example. Never give up! Don't stop! Your time will come soon! You are not as bad as meeee! Hehehe...

Okay. Let's talk about dumb things. Like...It's Black Friday, did you buy anything?

I'm eyeing on this Tory Burch bag, but the colours I am after are not on sale. Tory Burch is not so expensive kan, but still, I want to buy it at discounted price. Because I am like that!

I also need a pair of black jeans. But jeans are difficult to buy online. I'm going to try the Zara and Uniqlo ones, once it's safe to shop again. I haven't been back to see Mother in a loooonnggg time...

Aahh...And lastly, the thing that I might be revealing here only...My current crush is Louis Tomlinson yang comel...Good thing I ada blog ni kan...I can always write stuff like this on the blog. No judgement. Hahaha...I nak tengok dia live this 12th December...Lets!

My husband came home at 10.30pm just now and asked me, "Malam ni tak exercise ke?"

Well, well, well. I work out when I feel like it. And now that my husband is asking...Should I get my ass up and sweat?

Ugh. I know some people like to have someone who reminds you, motivates you, be your training partner...But why do I feel like I am being judged and criticised instead?

Sebok je kan...(Rolls eyes)

My male friend told me this-

He knows a lady, whose is so depressed, because she felt neglected after her husband got a second wife.

Of course, as a woman, I could feel her pain.

But my idiot friend said-

Her husband is rich. When you look at her, you could see the huge gold bangles she's wearing. She even told me that her husband bought her gold jewelleries just last month. So, terabai macam mana tu?

See? Idiot, right?

What about, emotionally neglected? You think you can simply buy our feelings? The world would be much less complicated if it's that easy!

If money can really make us happy, why do we fall in love with poor men, sometimes?

Men...They always think they are being fair to their wives, when in actual fact, most likely, they are hurting perhaps all of their wives!

Sigh.

I pray for happiness for all deserving wives in the world.

Orang selalu cakap, sabarlah...Fine, I pray God will grant us all with patience. And please, please, please have faith. There will be ease after every hardship.

Most people with body image problem-

See themselves fat, but as a matter of fact, they are not fat.

My problem-

Looks in the mirror and think I am not that fat. See photos of myself- damn, what was I thinking!

I feel ridiculous. I need to change the mirror.

Inferiority complex. Depression. Low self-esteem.

When you are supposed to shop and make yourself happy, but instead, feeling like a total loser, because the people who used to go to school with you are a bunch of over achievers.

I am nobody. Can't even be pretty!

Booked a hotel room for a short holiday yesterday in the afternoon. A few hours later, we found out we had to cancel our plan.

Decided to keep my annual leaves. I need to spring clean the house, then, I looked forward to doing nothing. Suddenly, I was notified that school would be closed too! So, I will be stuck with them kids! Ugh. I love them so dearly, but I need my alone time.

Looking at them just now, without knowing how would I entertain them and educate them at the same time, I suddenly remembered that, maybe now, I need to focus on my son going for circumcision. My son agreed, and he said he's ready. So, tomorrow, I need to survey for khatan doctors. Hopefully, they can do it without the COVID-19 test. I don't want him to be traumatised twice!

Also...I managed to spend a lot within these 2 days. I think it is because I am stressed out that we could not proceed with our vacation lans. Hahaha.

Was buying books from Big Bad Wolf when I came across Dr. Seuss Learning Library book set. Almost purchased it but, luckily I found out that they are not written by Dr. Seuss himself. The review is all great, but, they are not the classic classics, you know what I mean?

I think I've mentioned before, how it is so amazing that Dr. Seuss wrote those books so long ago, even way before I was born, but my kids and I still enjoy reading them. Hebat, kan? Because I am aware of how old the books are, I sometimes imagine myself being at that time- the time when they consider 7 pounds for a pair of shoes is rather expensive!

Anyway, tiba-tiba je rasa nak cakap pasal buku hari ni. You might think it is so boring...Sometimes, I feel like I am on a mission that I want my kids to be more cultured. That's why I am always looking out for classic books.

I bought Billy Goat Gruff a few months ago. Kids love it. My pick when I need to bring books for dinner. They love it when I changed my voices to suit the characters.

I still haven't found the satisfying version of The Little Match Girl, yet. I like it to be age-appropriate for the kids (7 and 4 years olds). Please share, if you know!

Well, okay lah. Dah pukul 2. Nak tidur. Esok nak shopping for acrylic stuff pulak. Haha. And Zalora. Mogok punya pasal sebab PKPP/B. Hope to write again, soon...Bye!