Although I've been living my whole life, (duh) I am still confused on how my mind works.

I think I am quite independent and tough. You can throw me anywehere anytime and I'll survive. I can be outspoken and rebellious. At that same time, I have a weak heart. I can cry just like that, on the spot, if I receive bad news of people completely UNRELATED to me!

Example: Yesterday, I was driving with Mother. Mother told me about the three Arab siblings who were killed in a tragic accident in Langkawi. My eyes immediately swelled up with tears. You know why? Because I have a wild imagination. So, I started to picture the siblings, all happy having a beach vacation, then I pictured their parents who received the news over the phone. Then, I started to feel them. (Why I nak sebok sebok feeling them I pun tak tahu lah). So, I felt how it would be like to lose ALL your children at one go (even though I am not a mother yet).

Tabahlah wahai ibu! Be grateful that Allah choose you for this huge test of Iman, He wouldn't if you can't handle it.

Tuh lah, imaginasi terlebih, menghayati pulak tu.

Banyak kali dah jadi macam ni...I pun tak paham. Apatah lagi my husband. Haha, kesian dia dapat isteri emosi tak stabil.

I am meeting my two good friends today. Haven't talked to them face to face in ages!

Thought it would be just the three of us, suddenly, Drew* wants to bring his girlfriend along. Alamak. Not that I have anything against it, but I thought this is OUR time. Luke is still single, so that's not a problem. I am married but you don't see me bringing my husband, correct? (Okay, so my husband is physically unable to attend this meet-up, but even if he could, I still wouldn't bring him with me, give some space lah!)

How can you have a normal conversation when you bring you plus one! Nanti tak habis-habis nudge nudge under the table, or sembahyang cepat cepat then quickly update each other secretly but when your plus one arrives, we smile and change topic.

Anyhow...

Drew is proposing to his girlfriend. Yeay! Not today, of course, wouldn't be so romantic lah!

I contributed, giving him ideas and stuff, I actually think if I were a guy, I'd be a damn good boyfriend! I didn't get the romantic proposal. Mine was very direct, like, my husband knew he wanted to marry me, after two weeks into the relationship, he ajak I bertunang, nothing grandious, I said no, we ended up NOT getting engaged at all, but got married 5 years later. See, langsung tak eventful.

Without a slight of shame, I volunteered myself to be involved in the process. Kasik can lah...Now, we are just waiting for Drew to gather all his guts to settle down. I warn him not to do it unless he is really, really, REALLY sure. Don't get married just because lah okay, that's wrong and unfair for both of you.

Me: Dah bagitau your parents?
Drew: Told my mother. She said, OK, she wants me to tell my father. You know lah, my father and I, we are not really on talking terms. Don't know how...

Hubungan ayah dengan anak memang kadang-kadang complicated.

I hope my husband will have a loving, drama-free relationship with our future children. Amiin.

(Sometimes, I find my posts can be pretty funny. Start dengan benda lain, ending dengan benda lain. Lantaklah...You still get my drifts, right?)