awesome night

I really don't mind if I didn't have a bachelorette party, but I am very glad that my lovely friends threw a 'surprise' party for me.

I had seen it coming. My friends could not lie properly.

The crowd should have been bigger but many did not make it due to a funeral of a colleague in Penang.

It was a sad morning, finding out the sudden death of him. His wife, who works in the same building, cried uncontrollably, asking us to wake him up. It dropped my heart seeing her, whose marriage is only 6-month-old and a baby in her belly.

Never drink and drive. Never get in the same car with a drunken driver.

When she decided the husband will be buried in Penang, some of my friends/ colleagues went to accompany her.

I could not imagine myself being in her place. May my colleague rest in peace. May she be strong enough to get through this.







The venue of my party was in Solaris Damansara.

My friend, warned me beforehand, "It is a fancy restaurant, so dress to kill."

"But we are wearing white tops and jeans, how do you dress to kill?" I asked.

Stumped, my friend replied, "You know, just add chains and whatever!"

Yeah, right.

When I arrived, my other friends were puzzled, "Why is the celebrated one looks the same with the rest of us?"

And nobody wanted to admit who gave away the surprise and the dress code to me. Believe me, it was not only one person to be blamed, but two!

Like any hen party, I had a crown and a sash. The team was Hawaiian so my friends distributed tutu skirt for me and flowers for the boys and girls. We had the typical 'dirty bunny' cupcakes and we talked and laughed until it was 2am when everybody began to get sleepy.

Man, we are old, we have lost the talent of no sleep but party all night long.

In the end, Brad P told me the people who was supposed to come, ie: my colleagues.

I am happy nevertheless, because it will be a little bit awkward to combine my friends with people at work, what the hell were we going to talk about, how was I going to keep both parties entertained.

I'll leave that happening at my wedding.







On the way back, I was in the same car with Brad P.

This is my colleague, who also turns out to be a great friend, well adjusted to my already existing friends.

We talked about the career we will have after this. I poured my heart of my fear regarding this permanent union with my boyfriend.

I like the talk.

The talk that made me reflect my decision to wed the not-so-perfect guy is perfect for me. The talk that made me realize that moving in a new town might not be so bad at all. The talk that confirmed that I have a wonderful, thoughtful, kind-hearted, mature husband-to-be that could take care of me.

When I arrived home, I texted a message to my boyfriend, telling him that I will never regret marrying him.

I have no idea what to prepare for my wedding day.

Q1: You know, our friend Sasha went for this facial which uses crushed diamond. It will make your face glow...
Me: I am not going to for a facial.
Q1: Why not?
Me: I am scared if something goes wrong and I'll look ugly on my wedding day! Besides, I am not going to fall for this scam...Diamond facial? How much would that cost you?

Q2: Aren't you going to get a massage or something?
Me: No. No mandi bunga, no spa, no massage. I don't have time...

Q3: You should go remove all your facial hair.
Me: I have facial hair?!
Q3: No...But you should go threading. The make up will last longer. And go shape your eyebrows...But you have to ask his family first whether they'll let you or not...
Me: Hehehe...Even if he lets me, I don't think I want to mess with my eyebrows. They are fine...I will tell the make up artist to use make up to shape my eyebrows.

Q4: What will your contact lenses colour be?
Me: Er, I don't wear contact lenses.
Q4: Why don't you try 'hazel'. Or greenish grey...I will sponsor them for you! Just tell me what colour you want.
Me: But I don't know how to wear contact lenses.
Q4: It will make your eyes look bigger...They are the most important part of your face.

Me: I just want to do manicure and pedicure.
Q5: Are you going to Nail Parlor? When?
Me: Well, not now. Just before my wedding day.
Q5: When will you get your menses?
Me: Around that time. But I am not planning to put anything for my nails. I can request that can't I?
Q5: I think so.
Me: I've never been for a manicure pedicure before. But I can request for it, right? Because, what's the point, I'm going to have inai painted on my hands...

I am so, so sad that I can't be a typical bride-to-be. I really just don't care about anything.
I just don't want to be too different on my wedding day that people will be having a hard time recognizing me. I don't want to look like someone else in my wedding pictures.

I like how I look even though I used to hate myself when I was younger. I have come to terms that this is me and this is the best God has given me.

You know, everytime you look in the mirror, you should be reciting a doa, "Ya Allah, cantikkanlah peribadiku sebagaimana Engkau cantikkan wajahku ini."

If you think you are not beautiful, you are wrong. You are beautiful...








My boyfriend is really nice for putting up with me.

One time, I cried and cried because I didn't get my dream wedding dress.

He felt so bad that he promised me that he would find me one.

In the end, we didn't find any that we liked, but the fact that he was able to console me, he's truly my only one.

I accused him for dumping all the wedding burdens on me, forgetting the fact that he did almost 80% of my wedding. Eighty percent!

I am beginning to be the dependent wife. Haha.

Again and again, I am blessed to have this wonderful person as my soon to be husband.

I love it when he plays with the kids. He would kiss nieces and nephews and buy them ice creams and watches. These kids grow fond on him very quickly. Every time he comes, they will scream and make noise and wanting to be near him while whispering loud enough, "Nak aiskrim..."

Haha, damn cute.

He is also very generous with the compliments, constantly tell me how lucky it is to have me.

Just last week, he bought me a surprise bouquet of flowers because he thought he had not presented anything to me of late. On the note, typed,

"To my wife, Ectopy. I love you. With love, husband."

I could tell he was excited about the marriage.

His friend saw the flower bouquet in the car.

Friend: Bunga apa ni?
Him: Oh, ada orang bagi...
Friend: Orang bagi? Ni, tulis, "To my wife, From husband"...
Him: (Very embarassed) Tadi aku bagi dekat tunang aku lah...Saja je berangan dah kahwin...

So embarassing!

(I left the bouquet in the car because I couldn't be bringing the flowers on the aeroplane when my hands are full!)

I thought I will never be one of those bride-to-be.
Because my simple wedding, with only 500 of invites, nothing fancy at all, will never have dramas, or so I thought.

I was summoned for a sibling meeting just now.

It was really an ambush, I was even warned beforehand that no hard feelings to be taken, but even the strongest person like me can become vulnerable.

After the drilling session, I went to Mother's room. Mother was sitting on the prayer mat, still reciting prayers. So, I landed myself on her bed, immersed my face in her pillows, and sobbed quietly like I always do.

She let me cry. Finally, she asked why.

"Diorang kata Ectopy menyusahkan Mother," I told her.

I continued to cry silently. For about 10 minutes, she broke the silence.

"Sudahlah tu. Awak cakap awak kan kuat..."

Everybody thinks I am strong. I think I am strong. I am strong and brave.

I am so tough that when I was 5, I fell down and my knee hurt pretty badly, but I didn't tell Mother. I still have the ulat gonggok scar on my left knee. I was bleeding with isi daging terkeluar semua but I let my body healed the wound without medical intervention.

I am so tough that I thought myself to ride the bicycle and swim. Seriously. I was 5 or 6 years old. No special classes, no supervision, nothing.

I am so tough that when I was 12, I saw a snake, I didn't scream. Instead, I quietly told Mother there's a cobra in the kitchen.

I am so tough that every time I met an accident, I settled it myself.

I am so tough that I was the only one in my family who dares to ride the meanest roller coaster, participate in extreme sports, represents my school for all sorts of competitions.

I am so tough that I have traveled for so many times to foreign countries, alone.

I am so tough that I worked the next day after I was assaulted by two robbers, bleeding and all.

I don't know why am I so independent.

I broke down because they actually think I don't do anything to reduce the burden on Mother.

Did I not find my own caterer?
Did I not find my own pelamin decorator?
Did I not find my own wedding attire?
Did I not find my own khemah?
Did I not find my own wedding cards?
Did I not follow Mother's request to do it all in one day?
Did I not agree for a small do?
Did I not become a bridezilla?







Writing is a good for me. I was crying for nearly 3 hours just now, with all sorts of things I thought I wanted to write.

I was sick all over, nauseated and I accidentally knocked my head to a hard surface that a bump is growing off my forehead.

But now that I have felt better, I will stop dwelling too much into it.

And again, I heal myself. I am better.

Let's talk about something else.








My boyfriend and I were listening to Red FM.

Caller: My first girlfriend has a brain like Einstein's, a heart like Mother Theresa's, and a body like Megan Fox's.

"Abang, oh, my God, he is talking about me!" I exclaimed to my boyfriend.

My boyfriend gave his usual, 'Please-jangan-perasan' look.

Caller: But, like any other guy, I thought, if this was my first girlfriend, imagine how my second girlfriend could be like! So, I dumped her. And I never found someone who can match her.

Men are idiots.








What's different with this current relationship of mine compared to the previous ones is: I think I love him more than he loves me.

I've been told for so many times that it's better to be with somebody who loves you more than you love him.

Can that be a strong enough reason if I were to cancel this wedding?









As much as I don't like hearing a friend bujang trang tang tang married a divorcee anak satu yang tak bekerja tinggal dengan mak bapak, sometimes, I don't like it when my boyfriend agrees with me secara berlebihan.

So, when I think he already had enough bad things to say about them, I turned the table and said, "Tak baiklah abang ni, kutuk-kutuk diorang. Itu kan dah jodoh...Nabi Muhammad pun kahwin dengan janda juga."

I hate it when my boyfriend becomes a smartass, with an answer like this,

"Kita tak boleh bandingkan diri kita dengan Nabi Muhammad. Pertamanya, Khadijah tu yang pinang Nabi, bukan Nabi pinang dia. Keduanya, Khadijah tu kaya, dia tolong Nabi. Bukan macam janda ni, duduk rumah, petang-petang pergi jalan-jalan cari laki!"

And, don't you especially hate it when some people simply menyerah pada takdir, saying, "Dah jodoh, nak buat mamacam mana..."

Well, contohnya lah kan, kalau kau dah tahu laki tu hisap dadah, tapi kau kahwin juga dengan dia, itu bukan jodoh okay. Itu bodoh!

I am very, very stressed.

Because.

I don't like the ustadz who is going to be my Tok Kadi. He is very rude, bad tempered, I can't believe he is an ustadz! Seriously. I have no respect for him at all. He is not like any other ustadz that will melt your heart when you talk to him.

U (Ustadz): Awak pemohon. Kenapa awak suruh tunang awak serahkan borang ni? Kalau belum berkahwin, jangan berlagak macam suami isteri. Naik kereta bersama pun tak boleh!

Me: (WTF! Then, you expect me, the girl, to call you, and eat lunch with you? And what if I didn't have a car? Dear Ustadz, one day, I wanna see you daughter sit behind her boyfriend, on a motorbike. Because you are not rich, you can't afford to buy a car for her. And I am sure you have at least 6 kids.)

U: Cuba duduk jauh-jauh.

Yeah, we were in the mosque, with my brothers, my uncle and the ustadz, sitting in a circle. How close can we even sit? In the end, we moved a few inches away from each other, which really, made no difference at all.

U: Hari ni berapa haribulan dalam tahun hijrah?

Me: (Too lazy to layan and talk to the ustadz, I shrugged my shoulders, a sign to tell him that I didn't know).

U: Bulan apa sekarang?

Noone answered because we freaking didn't know because we freaking (you think) don't pray, because we freaking (you think) masuk neraka!

U: Ada bawa pen?

I looked at my boyfriend because I passed the pen to him before we came to the mosque. My smart boyfriend left it in the car.

U: Pen pun tak bawa? Awak ni tak bersedia langsung.

Ustadz ni memang emo, sengaja cari pasal. Tapi semua orang malas nak layan so we kept quiet.

U: Oh, macam kenal je alamat rumah ni.

Brother 2: Ustadz pernah datang masa arwah meninggal.

U: Oohh...Yang dekat belakang sana tu? Arwah dah meninggal lama dah kan...Sepuluh tahun dah...

Me: (Hoi, bodoh, kepala hotak kau! Tak sampai setahun bapak aku mati! Kalau tak kenal, jangan buat-buat nak kenal!)

That really made me hit the maximum point. I just cannot look at the ustadz' face. Seriously!

Dia ingat senang ke to gather my wali and my saksi together, they have better things to do, but no, you insist to see them first, because well, you ustadz is really young, probably graduated from a university, trying to control things in your turf.

You make all of us angry with your nonsense act. My boyfriend called you twice, TWICE, to ask you whether it is okay if the saksi not there, and you said YES, your wife said YES, but on the day itself, you said differently. Are you freaking crazy!

The ustadz was at my neighbour's akad nikah, and he commented that it was better to the akad in the mosque rather than in the house.

If he does that during my wedding, I'd be very angry. I have my reasons for having the akad nikah in my house. I have many non-Muslims friends and a lot of my aunts and relatives don't dress appropriately.

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO DO MY AKAD NIKAH, CAN I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE!

Me: Marahnya I dekat ustadz gila tu! Boleh tak kalau I taknak maafkan dia!
Bf: Tak baik tak memaafkan orang...Hari tu, you juga yang suruh I maafkan budak sekolah pondok yang mengaji kitab tu...

Budak sekolah pondok yang mengaji kitab found my boyfriend's missing mobile phone, used it to call Cambodia AND to play online games, which was charged to my boyfriend's bill- RM300 in one day.

My boyfriend was so angry because
1) kononnya belajar agama
2) bukan budak kecik- dah 16 tahun
3) dah jumpa phone orang, kenapa tak pulangkan? Siap guna lagi...

And I...I asked him to forgive the kid. How silly...Now, I have to forgive the ustadz!

Anyway, in the end, we left the mosque in anger. I'm glad my uncle stood by me and agreed the ustadz was indeed crazy. Tak bawa pen pun nak marah tak tentu pasal. And this uncle is from Father's side, so this uncle is alim juga! If uncle alim thinks that Ustadz is crazy, I am not wrong to think so too.








Then, the hantaran shopping. It was fun then it was not then it was fun, and now, my watch has gone missing! Bengang gila! Tinggal kotak je! Please God, I pray to you, please return my watch to me...

My boyfriend definitely had the most fun though. He received lots of free gifts and for some reason, the salespeople are nicer to him!

I also need to prepare for a presentation. Work is mad. I am busy most of the time, by the time I arrive home, all I want to do is to sleep. Not to forget my impossible, unbelievable, ungrateful clients! They are so stupid sometimes!

Urgh!

My wedding preparations are minimal. No mandi bunga, no spa, no facial, no bachelorette party, no malam berinai. I already nearly die now. I just need to trim my hair and do my first ever manicure and pedicure, then I'm done and happy.

I want everything to be settled so I myself can settle down in a new town and that's it. Make babies and climb up the career ladder. That's all I care at the moment.