I am very, very stressed.
I don't like the ustadz who is going to be my Tok Kadi. He is very rude, bad tempered, I can't believe he is an ustadz! Seriously. I have no respect for him at all. He is not like any other ustadz that will melt your heart when you talk to him.
U (Ustadz): Awak pemohon. Kenapa awak suruh tunang awak serahkan borang ni? Kalau belum berkahwin, jangan berlagak macam suami isteri. Naik kereta bersama pun tak boleh!
Me: (WTF! Then, you expect me, the girl, to call you, and eat lunch with you? And what if I didn't have a car? Dear Ustadz, one day, I wanna see you daughter sit behind her boyfriend, on a motorbike. Because you are not rich, you can't afford to buy a car for her. And I am sure you have at least 6 kids.)
U: Cuba duduk jauh-jauh.
Yeah, we were in the mosque, with my brothers, my uncle and the ustadz, sitting in a circle. How close can we even sit? In the end, we moved a few inches away from each other, which really, made no difference at all.
U: Hari ni berapa haribulan dalam tahun hijrah?
Me: (Too lazy to layan and talk to the ustadz, I shrugged my shoulders, a sign to tell him that I didn't know).
U: Bulan apa sekarang?
Noone answered because we freaking didn't know because we freaking (you think) don't pray, because we freaking (you think) masuk neraka!
U: Ada bawa pen?
I looked at my boyfriend because I passed the pen to him before we came to the mosque. My smart boyfriend left it in the car.
U: Pen pun tak bawa? Awak ni tak bersedia langsung.
Ustadz ni memang emo, sengaja cari pasal. Tapi semua orang malas nak layan so we kept quiet.
U: Oh, macam kenal je alamat rumah ni.
Brother 2: Ustadz pernah datang masa arwah meninggal.
U: Oohh...Yang dekat belakang sana tu? Arwah dah meninggal lama dah kan...Sepuluh tahun dah...
Me: (Hoi, bodoh, kepala hotak kau! Tak sampai setahun bapak aku mati! Kalau tak kenal, jangan buat-buat nak kenal!)
That really made me hit the maximum point. I just cannot look at the ustadz' face. Seriously!
Dia ingat senang ke to gather my wali and my saksi together, they have better things to do, but no, you insist to see them first, because well, you ustadz is really young, probably graduated from a university, trying to control things in your turf.
You make all of us angry with your nonsense act. My boyfriend called you twice, TWICE, to ask you whether it is okay if the saksi not there, and you said YES, your wife said YES, but on the day itself, you said differently. Are you freaking crazy!
The ustadz was at my neighbour's akad nikah, and he commented that it was better to the akad in the mosque rather than in the house.
If he does that during my wedding, I'd be very angry. I have my reasons for having the akad nikah in my house. I have many non-Muslims friends and a lot of my aunts and relatives don't dress appropriately.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO DO MY AKAD NIKAH, CAN I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE!
Me: Marahnya I dekat ustadz gila tu! Boleh tak kalau I taknak maafkan dia!
Bf: Tak baik tak memaafkan orang...Hari tu, you juga yang suruh I maafkan budak sekolah pondok yang mengaji kitab tu...
Budak sekolah pondok yang mengaji kitab found my boyfriend's missing mobile phone, used it to call Cambodia AND to play online games, which was charged to my boyfriend's bill- RM300 in one day.
My boyfriend was so angry because
1) kononnya belajar agama
2) bukan budak kecik- dah 16 tahun
3) dah jumpa phone orang, kenapa tak pulangkan? Siap guna lagi...
And I...I asked him to forgive the kid. How silly...Now, I have to forgive the ustadz!
Anyway, in the end, we left the mosque in anger. I'm glad my uncle stood by me and agreed the ustadz was indeed crazy. Tak bawa pen pun nak marah tak tentu pasal. And this uncle is from Father's side, so this uncle is alim juga! If uncle alim thinks that Ustadz is crazy, I am not wrong to think so too.
Then, the hantaran shopping. It was fun then it was not then it was fun, and now, my watch has gone missing! Bengang gila! Tinggal kotak je! Please God, I pray to you, please return my watch to me...
My boyfriend definitely had the most fun though. He received lots of free gifts and for some reason, the salespeople are nicer to him!
I also need to prepare for a presentation. Work is mad. I am busy most of the time, by the time I arrive home, all I want to do is to sleep. Not to forget my impossible, unbelievable, ungrateful clients! They are so stupid sometimes!
My wedding preparations are minimal. No mandi bunga, no spa, no facial, no bachelorette party, no malam berinai. I already nearly die now. I just need to trim my hair and do my first ever manicure and pedicure, then I'm done and happy.
I want everything to be settled so I myself can settle down in a new town and that's it. Make babies and climb up the career ladder. That's all I care at the moment.
1 hour ago