Tuesday, April 21, 2009

trusting friends

My boyfriend just lost a huge amount of money because his 'friend' refused to pay him back.

He rarely shares his financial situation with me but this one was accidentally blurted out when I scolded him for being mad at me for no particular reason. He then felt guilty for making me his punching bag and began to tell me his problem.

Before we met, my boyfriend had been duped for several times and he never really cared about them because he was unattached during that time. This continued until the first few months he met me and I gave him a long lecture on how he should be more responsible in managing his money and I told him to stop trusting people too easily. "If you want to be serious with me, you need to start saving money for our future."

He obliged and suddenly, this happened. This is supposed to be a secret, I cannot tell anybody, but here I am telling you. Haha.

The reasons he doesn't want people to know are
- the person who 'borrowed' the money is a 'friend'
- he wants to maintain the friendship
- they share the same friends, so my boyfriend doesn't want to badmouth him to worsen the situation

I know men don't like it when we nag, but I couldn't help being nosy about it.

Me: Did you ask for your money back?
Him: I did. He said- "Oh, duit tu dah habis guna. Buat business tak pulang modal."
Me: Macam tu je dia jawab? Tak pulang modal pun, still kena bayar balik! Habis tu, you cakap apa?
Him: I nak cakap apa lagi...Malaslah I nak gaduh pasal duit.

Before I could say anything else, my boyfriend started to regret what he did, "I tahu you told me so many times before to make it black and white before lending money to people. Tapi I serba salahlah, kalau I suruh sign paper, orang cakap, dengan kawan pun nak berkira. Bila I bagi pinjam, tengoklah, jadi macam ni."

He whined some more, I pun mendengar je lah dengan setia, "Kenapa orang selalu tipu I huh? I tak pernah pun tipu orang. Itulah I nak kahwin dengan you cepat-cepat, I nak duduk dengan you, habis kerja, balik rumah, main dengan anak-anak. Kalau habis duit pun, habis dekat you juga. Kalau orang minta pinjam duit, I nak cakap- Bini aku pegang duit aku, I have no money, sorry, I can't help."

Me: Jahatlah your friend...Dia tak malu ke bagi anak bini makan duit haram?
Him: Dia tak kahwin lagi.
Me: Dia buat apa dengan duit tu? You tanak saman dia ke? You ada bank statement as a proof.
Him: Tak apalah. Duit saja. Mana-mana boleh cari.

He was really sad about it so I told him that he is too nice sometimes, he needs me to counterbalance his kindness because if I were him, I'd surely kick his friend's ass.

"Kenapa you tak tumbuk je dia? Do you want me to tampar him? Kalau tak dapat balik duit pun, at least puas hati! And I think I know which friend you are talking about!" I pun geram juga. I don't want to sound materialistic but the money was better off spent on me!

A few days later, I came across this really gorgeous pair of River Island shoes. I told him that if he bought me that shoes, I'd love him long time. Haha. "Don't you want me to love you long time?" I pleaded. Somehow, I ended up saying, "How come you never buy expensive gifts for me?!"

Him: Tak pernah?
Me: I baca satu blog ni, husband dia belikan 4-5 designer handbags every year.
Him: I tak kaya macam tu. You nak handbag ke?
Me: I nak kereta!

The moment I mentioned the word 'kereta', he became sad and said, "I geramlah bila ingat balik. Enam puluh ribu tu I boleh guna buat downpayment kereta tau atau boleh buat duit wedding," and he went on and on about it.

I understand his frustration, but he was the one who said it's only money and 'rezeki di mana-mana'.

Sudah-sudahlah tu.

Siapa suruh pandai sangat bagi a lump sum of money. Tipulah sikit, cakap, I can only give you ten thousands ke...Ni jujur sangat, helpful sangat. Inilah padahnya...

Lessons of the day:
- Baik hati biarlah secara bijak supaya tidak diperolokkan.
- Beli kereta dahulu sebelum memberi pinjaman pada orang.
- Anything to do with more than ten thousands ringgit must involve an official signed agreement.
- Ditch your useless friend before they ditch you after they use you.

I have less friends than my boyfriend but I dare to say my friends have qualities unlike his.
One of his former friends used to tell people that my boyfriend made me pregnant and I aborted the child overseas. Idiot.


julie said...

Jahat nya kawan dia yang spread that malicious rumour. Bitchy nyer jantan ngalah kan pompuan!

maman said...

60k is a lot of moolah.
I would have juz stop being friends with him.

maman said...

oh, and for that jack who spread that rumour.. me thinks, that former friend is into you. itu yg, biler dah kecewa, decided to attack ur credibility.

ectopy said...

entahlah, that's what my boyfriend thinks too. the 3 of us used to be quite close before my bf and i got together.