Sunday, August 19, 2007

My bestfriend's wedding.

A few years back, one of my bestfriends got married. I didn't attend her engagement ceremony because I was abroad, and I did not attend her wedding because again, I was not in the country. I was sad, but I coaxed myself, "I do this for my future".

Another bestfriend is getting married soon. I will not be able to attend her wedding. Last night was horrible, I cried myself to sleep because I so miss my teenage years. Her words, "You have to come! You are my bestfriend!"

Yes, I am her bestfriend, she is my bestfriend. But I come and go often, missing bits and pieces a lot. I no longer know her deepest secrets like I used to. We no longer chat for hours because we just don't have the time.

I felt lonely last night. Even my boyfriend failed to make me feel better. I whined, "I don't have best friends!" and sobbed. He said I could find new ones. How could he?!

Best friends are hard to find, and to find new bestfriends is even harder. I am at the stage where everybody has developed their sets of close friends. Besides, I want my bestfriends to know how my life was when I was little, when I was in school, I don't want to tell my NEW bestfriends from A to Z, bestfriends just simply have to know! It is not like I want to erase my childhood, my teenagehood, or my past, that lead me to start fresh and hunt for new bestfriends!

And my old and current bestfriends are just fine, I don't need to find a new one and steal someone else's bestfriends!

The problem with me is, I am not always here! I want to be in my bestfriends' wedding pictures so when we are old, we could laugh and recall the times we had together! And my bestfriends could show the pictures to their sons and daughters, and the children would scream, "That's you, Auntie!" and they would say nice things like, "You are so pretty! And you look even prettier now!" Hehehehehe...Okay, I got a bit carried away, but you get what I mean!

I am worried if my friends from school would forget about me, and not come to my wedding, because I don't attend their weddings, why should they come to mine.

I am so depressed...

So, today, I ate bananas with Hersheys chocolate syrup! Manyak sedap! I think it helped, kot...

In my opinion, local bananas taste different than the ones from the western countries, don't you think? The local bananas are yummier because they are sweeter and cuter! Tak kelat...

I used to avoid bananas because they are rich in carbohydrate and I hated carbohydrate! But bananas are good. A tips from Dicovery Home and Health: mash the bananas and put them on your face...

I am thinking of quitting.
But that's not me, it is not even possible, I must be really, really crazy to quit.
Quit what I am doing now to enjoy life in Malaysia. No more travelling.

A wedding is life changing, no matter whose wedding it is!

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