I wanted this for the past 6 weeks.

I held myself from buying because
- there were more important things to do at that time
- I had two brand new handbags that I hardly use

After I was done with the important thing, I went for a holiday. So, couldn't shop. Besides, my rationale told me not to waste money because I've just spent for a holiday.

Then, the owner of FashionValet posted a picture of this bag in a different colour on Instagram.
I was like, "Ohhh, awesome taste!"

I just needed to get this. I had received the ultimate hint. It was meant to be mine...
First of all, it's really hard to find a bucket bag that I like and I don't have a bag in this design!
Secondly, it's white. Everybody needs a white bag.
Third, it's kinda cheap. The last time I fell in love with something similar, it cost like, RM14k, and that was way back when I was still a university student.

Then, 2 days ago, it was no longer on FashionValet. I panicked. Went to the official website, and it's sold out. SOLD OUT!

I was like, so sad and disappointed and and and, I just couldn't get my mind off it lah okay...I've been thinking about it for 6 weeks and suddenly, it's gone....Like, forever gone....

Whined about it to my husband for 2 days already...

Me: Abang, bag yang I nak tu dah sold out! (Siap tunjuk website to prove it)
Husband: Hahahaha...Tu lah, hari tu I suruh you beli je, you tak nak...
Me: Dah lah cantik...And murah...
Husband: Sebab dia murahlah tu habis cepat!
Me: :(((((((((((
Husband: Lain kali, jadi macam I. Kalau dah suka, tak payah fikir panjang. Beli je...
Me: T_______T

Perhaps, I should just buy it in another colour. What do you think?

Excuse me, I nak berkabung...
Being careful with my spending pun, akhirnya, I yang kecewa...

(T______________T)

Actually, I ada tulis banyak. Semua dalam drafts. Tak publish sebab, they are incomplete. You know why? Because I wanted to write so many things, that towards the end, I became sleepy while writing them.

At this age, I've learned not to stay up late unnecessarily. Once, you're sleepy, just go to sleep! Don't fight it, or you'll end up regretting the decision. Last-last sendiri yang stress sebab tak dapat tidur.

My sleep is so precious!

Have you heard of 4 7 8 breathing exercise? It's amazing! It sure helps me to go to my slumber when I find it difficult. Just google or youtube it, okay. Make sure you recite your doa before you shut your eyes.

Well, I can't say I have a terrific sleep quality as what the many testimonials say about the breathing exercise. I kan tidur dengan anak. Pastu anak I tu light sleeper. Which means, I've never had a proper uninterrupted sleep in a long, long time, as long as the abscence of my period! Haha! Yup, I masih belum period, yeay!

Speaking of periods, talked with my bosses, and they were saying about how vague symptoms can mean you are pregnant. You are not feeling yourself? Check your urine! You are not feeling well but can't exactly pinpoint what? Check your urine! You have mysterious headches, fever, cough? Check your urine!

Of late, I've been depressed. I mean, I know exactly what makes me so unmotivated, but I usually handle it well, lasting for 1 week, at most...Then, I think I gain a bit of weight, but that's probably I am no longer actively breastfeeding...Perhaps I should check in case I'm pregnant? Haha, besar harapan! Desperate nak anak lagi!

Anyway...Deviating from the topic, why ah I always get distracted in my prayers? Short term memory ke apa? Sometimes, can't be certain of what rakaat I am in. Like, what the hell! Tak sampai 5 minit kot!
So, betullah setan ni suka mengacau! Confirm!

If an atheist don't believe in God and benda-benda ghaib, we should ask them to perform solat. Mesti diorang rasa why ah, I can't remember, why am I unsure of what I just did. So weirddd...

I enjoyed my time in Nepal. It was my last trip with my friends before I got pregnant and soon afterwards, my two friends got married.

I went there unprepared. I never hit the gym, and the only exercise I did was the walking/ jogging I did was during work, and I tried to use the stairs as much as I can.

We arrived in the dusty city, which felt like I was transported back to 1970s. Well, I never really experienced the 70s, but it felt like it, like I was one of the extras in the classic movies.

We rode the bus, cruising along the narrowest roads, saw the deepest valleys, breathed the freshest air. We jungle trekked and climbed the mountain (I whined under my breath all the time). We drank water from the river (seriously, we survived on water purifying tablets- double the recommended dose, just in case).

The locals are mostly nice and friendly. We met someone who was not very fond of us Malaysians, probably because of the ill treatment he received when he visited Malaysia and Singapore. Most of them have relatives working in Malaysia. You know, he might be that waiter who serve you at Oldtown Kopitiam...

Their stories are sad and poor. Children, being children, got excited to see tourists, with English better than most Malaysian children (and they don't even go to proper schools!), they asked for simple things like chocolates and sweets. We sacrificed our energy bars to them. They even appreciated the little boxes of raisins!

It is a beautiful country. Poor, but beautiful. A part of us wanted Nepal to remain untouched, so we can enjoy the nature for years to come. But the people need progress. They have to catch up years of developments.

I returned to Malaysia with a better attitude towards the foreigners, now that I know how difficult their lives are. They come for a better future, and better is what I want to give to/ share with them.

Nepal is in a very unfortunate state currently. Tak kesahlah walaupun bukan negara Islam, tapi I really feel for her. It's like, sudah jatuh, ditimpa tangga.

To those who share the video of them killing the buffalos, well, please have some hearts. Tak payah nak kait-kaitkan benda tu dengan musibah sekarang. How insensitive! That's like, saying Kelantan deserved to be flooded for God knows why.

Stay strong, Nepalis. I wish I could do more to help...