Saturday, February 15, 2014

I am having flu, caught from my son, who caught it from my husband's daughter.

I expected it resolve within 3 days, but it's already day five today and his nose is still runny. Kesian dia...

Speaking of kesian, I was meeting a client when he revealed that his son is specialist doctor.

My staff overheard our conversation,

Staff: Anak dia doktor pakar dekat mana?
Me: Dekat Putrajaya. Hebat kan? Pakcik tu dulu ambulance driver je.
Staff: Oh, ye ke? Maksudnya, dia berduit juga lah sebab dapat hantar anak dia belajar tinggi. Maksudnya, driver ambulance ni banyak gaji juga lah...

Well, it never really struck me that it costs so much to send your children to study.

Me, for example, went to school with only 30 cents a day until I was in Standard Three. Then, I received an increment of 20 cents until I was 12 years old. Mind you, when I was in Standard 4, there was a girl in my school whose parents gave her RM5 per day for pocket money! Big difference, mine was only 10% of her daily income...

Then, my parents gave me RM1 per day for secondary school. Then, I enrolled into a boarding school. Then, I had conditional free education for my tertiery studies.

So, in a way, I never felt that I am a burden for my parents lah...Same goes to my siblings. Kitorang pakai duit sikit gile kot!!!

Colleague: Minggu lepas, jiran aku datang rumah, nak pinjam duit. Kitorang tak bagi. Lepas tu, semalam dia datang lagi bawa emas. Nak gadai. Nak duit sebab anak dia nak masuk university.
Me and my other colleagues: Ya Allah, kesian nya...
Colleague 2: Masa aku sekolah pun sama. Ada kawan aku ni, mak dia kena gadai emas sebab tak ada duit nak bayar yuran sekolah.

Sigh. Bila dengar cerita-cerita macam ni, rasa kesian sangat and rasa macam bersalah nak enjoy life when knowing there are people struggling.

In boarding school, I was kinda culture-shocked. I got to know friends who never stayed in a hotel, or friends who thought eating KFC was luxurious. I remember, a friend who could not afford to go to a school trip. It was only RM30. But she said, her parents didn't have money, she had many siblings that needed the money more than her. My other friend felt bad and paid for her instead.

I forgot about all these until that day when I had the conversation with my staff. To her, you need money in order for your children to further your studies.

This is exactly how my husband is thinking.

As I have mentioned before, my husband came from a very humble family. His family didn't care so much about education. His family is content- one house, one toilet, one motorcycle, one job, enough food on the table...That's all. They don't care about going for holidays, or investments, or if you've finished your homework, or things like that, if you get what I mean. It is the complete total opposite from my family, I really don't know how I end up with my husband lah, no wonder Father was very concerned! Hahaha...!

Anyway, because my husband came from this family, he had to work harder than anyone else to be at where he is now. This means, when he wanted to go to university, he was the one who scouted for the forms and he filled them up and he did them all by himself. When his brothers finished school, he was the one who pushed them to go here and there, because his parents memang orang kampung, they don't know what to do.

I mean, I can imagine how hard it was for him, because from what I remember, when I finished school, all I did was having fun, while Father was the one who wrinkled his head everyday, cutting papers and sending applications for me! He was more updated than me. All I had to do was to produce good results and Father would settle everything else for me. This is why he pushed me to go to a boarding school for my form 4 and form 5, so the chances for me to excel would be brighter. He had it all planned! I hanya goyang kaki, lepas tu muncung muncung mulut sebab he wouldn't let me go to the same schools as my friends (bertuah punya anak!)!

My success now is largely contributed by Father. If he hadn't pushed me to my potential, mesti I menjadi seorang yang failure. Walaupun I tak adalah hebat sangat, tapi okaylah jugak kan! Kalau Father wasn't around, ditambah lagi dengan sikap pemalas I dan suka ber huha huha, sure I hancus punyeee!!!

Because of this, my husband has so much pride in himself. Like, whenever he sees someone who is successful, he would judge that person whether that person is successful because of his attitude, or is it because of his family background. Annoyingly, he always passes comments like, "Ala, dia tu sebab bapak dia ada cable...Kalau tak, mana boleh berjaya. Hari-hari bangun lambat. Harapkan duit mak bapak je..."

I selalu tegur, tak baik dia cakap macam tu. But I think he was hurt before kot, because I find he repeatedly said, "Ala, sebab dulu atok moyang dia tu keturunan raja, sebab tu lah boleh pandai. Padahal, bukannya kita tak pandai, tapi kita tak ada kesempatan nak belajar!" Then, because of my husband's inclination towards politics and history, mulalah dia buka cerita pasal zaman Tunku Abdul Rahman lah pulak...I pun dengar je lah, padahal dah dengar banyak kali, hehehehe...

I think, it is more for his ego boost kot. I think, he is also proud to marry me lah. Haha, ayat perasan betul aku ni. But, yeah, I think lah. Sebab kadang-kadang dia terlepas cakap, "Tengok I ni, I start from zero. And now, I dapat kahwin dengan you..." And when he felt someone is boasting to him, he would sell names he got to know through me! OMG, this is so embarassing...! Bila ditegur, he would defend himself, "Biar dia rasa! Dia ingat dia seorang je kenal macam-macam orang?!"

So, anyway, when before, I couldn't grasp the concept that money do play a role in determining your degree of education, but after I met so many people who actually can't afford to pay for the school fees, I think, yeah, I have to agree lah. Which means, you have to set your priorities straight. Put some money aside for your children's future use.

I think, (banyaknya 'I think' dalam post kali ni) this is why my husband is a generous person. He easily lends money to his workers and don't really ask for it back. When they ask for their salaries in advance, he would give in. When they request for leaves because they want to send their children to universities, my husband would genuinely congratulate them and give hadiah. "Supaya dia rasa bangga dapat didik anak hingga berjaya. Dan menjadi insentif untuk anak diorang untuk terus berjaya," my husband said.


Anonymous said...

Salam.kalau Kira Ada 1 million people like yr husband it save a lot of rakyat's money we shall govern this country better than the existing political clowns fr both side inclusive.

Anonymous said...

your husband dah kawin sebelum ni & ada anak? No wonder your dad bantah!

Anonymous said...

salah tulis ...lupa nak tambah my husbands friends daughter . haha ...dia bujang lagi before we got married ...


amalina said...

I can totally relate this!
My parents are teachers, but they have a lot of children so there was no money when I was growing up.
I went to sekolah rendah with 20cent and sekolah menengah with RM2. KFC mmg jarang2 sekali and I only tasted MCD when I finished SPM. Gameboy ka video games ka langsung xtau. TV pun selalu rosak. kalau rosak, my dad wont fix it. But we have lots of books so we were always reading.
My mum always told me that they cant change me. its only me can change and shape my future.
So,as most of my friends back then didnt really care about their future, where they wanna study after SPM etc, I applied to almost all scholarship I can after SPM. mcm gile pg cyber cafe isi borang.
I scored JPA scholarship,and continued my studies in Japan. alhamdulillah. 6 out of 9 of my siblings are/were the receiver of JPA/MARA scholarship local and overseas universities.
sekarang,my parents dah boleh rileks sikit, baru blaja2 travel overseas(the 1st time they went for leisure slain pg umrah/haji is to Japan for my convocation)

Anonymous said...

What are you currently do for living? And your husband too..kerja apa ni..macam kaya sangat je..

Nur aqila tan said...

ooohhh,,i pun terkejut..ingat dia duda or something!!!