I went to SACC to buy baby stuff. It was my first time, probably my last. Gosh, it was so crowded! And the sale wasn't worth it. Except for diapers and formula milk.

I went on Friday morning, in hope to avoid the crowd, but nooo, my husband and I couldn't take it. I can't imagine how the turn out would be like in MidValley. Mesti lagi terukkk...

The price fluctuated too. I bought nursing bras, which was priced at RM40 for two.
Me: Eh, tadi awak kata dua helai RM30!
Salesgirl: Boss dah naikkan harga.
Husband: Mana boss awak? Saya nak cakap dengan boss awak.
Salesgirl: Boss, kakak ni dapat harga lain.
Boss: Berapa? Berapa?
Husband: Dua helai RM30.
Boss: Okay, okay. Untuk you, I bagi special price.

Waahh...Dalam masa sejam naik 10 ringgit!

Anyway, I will be starting work next week. During my short visit to Mother's house, we practised leaving Baby KR for a few hours without his parents.

It wasn't planned. I wanted to bring him along, but Mother volunteered. Mother seemed to be handling him well. Baby KR slept and did not fuss for 4 successful (it was 6 hours the next day when we left him), it's so unlike him when he is with my husband and I. Perhaps we are simply clueless parents.

Because it was our first time being separated from each other, I was anxious. I didn't even browse stuff I need for myself. I need new pair of pants! And tudung, and shoes. And Spanx! OMG, seriously, giving birth has changed the contour of my cute butt that I used to be proud of, haha. Apesal sekarang bontot macam jatuh semacam...Tak perky dah... :(

Here's a confession.

I had a problem in expressing breast milk. Because of that, I've been delaying in introducing the bottle to my baby. I was afraid if I started to bottle feed him, I would lose the natural stimulation I need to make more breast milk.

So, I kept on direct feeding my baby, kept on pumping, taking fenugreek pills and kept on praying. Slowly, I am able to build up breast milk stocks.

I was so worried my baby would reject the bottle. Berdoa je lah agar dipermudahkan. I've heard some babies needed trial and error of up to SEVEN different types bottles!

Alhamdulillah, when I left Baby KR with Mother, he took it. He just took it. Kuasa Allah sangat! That's one huge burden being lifted off my shoulders.

I used MAM bottles, by the way, funny thing is, he does not want the MAM pacifier or any other pacifier.

I do not know how much breast milk he would take, how much breast milk I should leave him with. They say it's about 1 oz per hour, but it really depends on your baby. So, I guess, I will be leaving 12 oz for him each day for now. I store my breast milk 4 oz per bag.

And because of this, I'm aiming to make 12 oz per day at least! The more the better, obviously, it's just that I will be having problems with the freezer space.

Oh, Baby KR is 5.5kg at 2 months. Hurrah! Shopping baju dia mahal nak mampus, kain sikit tapi mahal, mak dia pun tak merasa pakai baju mahal ni haaaa!!!

And I found out there's even imitation strollers out there! OMG, these Chinese people really copy anything and everything! Never it crosses my mind that somebody would make a fake stroller lah...I also found some people who are okay with it. But me, I'd rather have second hand Bugaboo strollers than having a flimsy one.

1) Fuh, penat I. Baby is finally asleep. Dah dua malam berturut-turut we couldn't get our beauty sleep, hourly interruption. Don't know why, we didn't change his routine pun. But somehow he is more clingy than ever. Hopefully, tonight will return to normal, where at least he will 3 to 4 hours straight.

Luckily, I am quite used to staying up and staying late. Tapi tetap penatlah. Especially when my husband is sleeping too. No fair! But what can he do? My baby wants my breasts constantly, my husband ain't have any, so he gets to rest lah.

Tonight, I rasa, kesian my baby. He's so young but I already expects him to have a routine. Sometimes, I rasa rimas lah, asyik nak melekat je dengan I. But come on, he is still a baby!

And when he's having trouble sleeping, I feel like, I'm his mom but I don't know how to help him! Kesian sangat...

Dulu,, bercita cita besar, didn't want to introduce buaian or pacifier. Now that I know he needs a nipple to soothe him, I belilah pacifier for him, tapi dia reject.

Macam mana nak tinggal ni!!! (Tapi deep down, happy because he prefers mine, haha)

2)

Me: Abang, terer tak I hari ni?
Husband: Terer...
Me: Kenapa I terer?
Husband: Sebab you masak...
Me: Sebab I sapu rumah, lipat baju, masak, basuh pinggan and jaga baby. I am supermom!!!

3) I was browsing Facebook and read a friend's status checking in at a First Class Lounge, travelling to Europe.

I thought she hit the jackpot by marrying her husband, considering that she used to live in rumah papan.

Me: Abang, meh sini tengok Suraya. Dia pergi Europe, naik first class...Bertuah betul dia, kahwin orang kaya!
Husband: Macam Abang lah, bertuah dapat kahwin dengan you...Hihihi...

Awww, sweetlah pulak husband I ni cakap he's lucky to have me.
I'm lucky to have you, too...

4) Hari tu, I cooked ayam goreng. I kan tak suka terpercik percik ni. Hot oil is painful! Memang fobia habis...

So, I wore this...

 

 

But on my arms instead lah. Plus a tong.

 

My husband was carrying my son,

 

Husband: Baby KR, apalah mak kamu ni, masak ayam siap pakai sarung tangan.

Me: Ni leg warmers lah...Tapi I pakai dekat tangan.

Husband: Penakut betul mama awak ni...Masak pun takut!

Me: Ye lah, sakitlah!

Husband: Apalah mama awak ni...! Penakut!

Me: Bukanlah! I ni genius tau. In fact, I rasa benda ni patut dicipta dan dijual di kedai-kedai untuk orang-orang macam I! Mesti laku!

 

5) My friend, a doctor, was complaining about another doctor whose English so bad...

 

Friend 1 (the doctor): Urgh! I hate her. And she keeps requesting stupid things. The whole department calls her Lee Annoying. So rude, and her grammar sucks.

Friend 2 and I: Describe lah...Show us examples.

The doctor: Like, "Eh, you Dr. Chong ah? I got patient lah. Very urgent lor. Can help meh?" You know, a lot of unnecessary Lah, Meh, Lor, Wan, in every sentence! Like penjual ikan!

Friend 2 and I: Hahahaha! Our English is not perfect but this is so funny. Penjual ikan?

The doctor: Very pasal malam type. And my boss always gets so stressed with her English! I'd be stressed too, calling me at 3 in the morning trying to sell fish!

 

Just sharing this coz I find the conversation is funny. Love my friends! Benda macam ni pun nak cerita dekat kitorang.

Can't imagine a doctor trying to sell fish, hahahaha! How professional.

 

 

1) Susah eh nak jalan-jalan ada budak kecik ni?

I don't mind nursing in public. It's just that my husband and I can no longer concentrate on our shopping. Tak boleh tenung and fikir lama-lama when deciding which to buy. Baby's sleeping, good, good, now let's get out of here before he wakes up!

2) When Baby KR was born, he was so good, he latched on my breasts without a struggle. I remember when I first realized that my other breast would leak when he nursed. I thought, "Apa basah ni?" Siap tengok ceiling takut-takut ada paip bocor, haha. Oh, ini ke rupa rupanya 'let down'? Didn't last long though. I thought I had enough milk, I even thought of expressing some of my breastmilk and give it to people who can't breastfeed.

One of my earliest mistakes is I didn't express as early as possible.

You see, I was at Mother's house. And Mother's refrigerator is always full! And even if I managed to pump that early, how am I going to take them all back to my current place? Bukannya dekat...I could avoid this problem if I return to my house soon enough, instead of spending my entire confinement period at Mother's place.

So, I began pumping but the result is disappointing. I don't know lah. Is it the breastpump? Am I not pumping frequent enough? Am I doing it wrongly? Is it just me?

Sometimes, I pump up to 6 times per day, but I only managed 6 oz at most, and that, my dear friends, with DOUBLE pumping, 15 minutes each session! They say it will get better as time goes by. Tak ada perubahan besar pun!

At one occasion, after 5 days of trying, I only got drops of breastmilk. Haaa...I got so emotional, I cried, I found reasons to blame my husband, then I covered myself under the duvet and let my husband take charge of the baby for about half an hour. I was that depressed.

Lepas tu, I took Maxolon. Adalah perubahan sikit. I take one per day instead of three times. Takutlah, orang cakap depression is one of the side effects. My fenugreek pills just arrived today, so lets see if it works.

Despite all my work, my menses resumed. What's wrong with my body? I seem to be sending wrong signals to my systems!

So far, he is still being exclusively breastfed. I don't know how long can it last. If I leave for work, from 8am to 5pm, how much breastmilk should I leave him with? 12 oz? I can't produce that much! :(

3) I am quite reluctant to give my baby to my MIL to be taken care of while I am at work. The supposed person changed her mind. I wanted to put my baby in a nursery but my husband doesn't trust the nursery.

I don't know whether my MIL knows how to handle my breastmilk. Orang dulu-dulu mana reti kan...Dahlah her dominant hand is not strong. She is still under physiotherapy treatment. She broke her arm and was advised for surgery, but she refused. Cannot lah cloth diapering macam ni. Plus, she has another grandson to be take care of.

And what if I don't agree with her ways? Kalau dengan orang nursery tu, boleh lah I sound sound direct je.

And with her condition, I don't want her to do extra for me. My MIL is super nice, I know she will cook lah, she will tidy up the house lah, fold the clothes lah, I just know she will okay...It's not that I don't appreciate her kindness, but it will make me feel guilty. And I really want to be a supermom, so I want to do all the work myself. Besides, I have my own way of doing things.

My husband says it is temporary until we find a helper. Harap-harap paling lama pun sebulan je...

4) Now that I am home with my son, I still don't have the time to cook lunch. Pelik kan? Kemas rumah pun jarang-jarang, itupun I have to stretch the hour.

Then, I terfikir, susahnya jadi orang gaji. Kena jaga anak orang. And your boss expects you to cuci baju, sidai baju, lipat baju, kemas rumah, kadang-kadang siap kena masak...Patutlah ada orang gaji jadi gila.

I yang anak seorang ni pun tak sempat oi...

So far, dinner I masak baru 3 kali. Itu pun sebab my husband requested for it. When my husband wants me to cook, at least I know he will be home to help me look after the baby for a while.

And what about ibu tunggal? Susahnyeeeeeeeee!!!

5) If my baby is cranky, I rasa macam, I need some air! Husband, come home quick! It's your turn!

Eh, but I thought I wanted to be a housewife? Baby cranky pun tak tahan ke?

But I do love my son very much lah. And dia bukan selalu cranky. It's just that, sometimes I am jealous with my husband. He goes out to work but in my mind, he goes out to escape from responsibility. You see how screw up my mind has become?

But I still want to quit my job. And I still want to work.
I'm so indecisive.
I wish I can work from homeeeee!!!



 

 

Taken at 39 weeks of gestation. I wanted to take a picture of my pregnancy figure. I thought I was huge. But then, I realized, "Eh, cannot see tummy lah, Nampak macam tak pregnant pulak!"

 

(I was waiting for my husband, that's him next to me, admiring himself, in the fitting room)

 

 

"Ahhh...This is more like it!" Watermelon round...

 

 

And how did he ever fit into my tummy!

 

 

Waahh...You are so tall! (Exactly one month old when this was taken)