1) My husband likes to watch Tanah Kubur on Astro Oasis. A recent episode was about a man who was derhaka to his mother. He kicked his mother out of his house. The mother said, "Mak tak halalkan susu yang mak beri kamu waktu kamu kecil dulu."

The man died and spoilt milk kept drooling from his mouth.

My niece watched it with us. She had many questions and I answered as simple as a 5-year old should and could understand.

Niece: Semalam Niece muntah.

Me: Ye? Kenapa?

Niece: Sebab Niece makan banyak sangat.

Me: Oh, okay.

Silence. Watching TV.

Niece: Auntie, Auntie, semalam kan, Niece tak kawan dengan Mama, dengan Papa, sebab Mama and Papa tak bagi Niece makan mi!

Me: Ye ke...

Niece: Tapi bila Niece muntah, tak keluar susu pun. Keluar makanan je...

Hahaha...So, she reckons, if you argue with your parents, you'd vomit spoilt milk! Terima kasih, Astro Oasis. Bagus!



2) Despite wearing kain batik since the day I got home from the hospital, I still cannot master the art of tying it! Terlondeh je...



3) During the labour pain, I keep reminding myself to berselawat and control my breathing whenever I could. Towards the end, I couldn't help but curse under my breathe. Of course, nobody could hear me. I remember muttering, "Oh, shit, oh, shit!" while inhaling the gas that's supposed to help me.

I didn't dare to curse using any other words because I don't want to influence my kid lah. I chose the word Shit because, well, it did feel like shitting, so in a way, I was not cursing, I was just describing what I was going to do.

Ayat sedapkan hati!



4) I gave birth in a government hospital and I had a pleasant experience. I don't understand why there is so much negative comments about the service.

I think, underneath it all, it depends on how well we are mentally prepared.

Like, it is really ridiculous if you have such a high expectation in a hospital that you are minimally paying.

And, usually, if you are nice to the staff, they will treat nicely too. Remember the rule of treating people like you expect to be treated! I also read about a husband who complaints about the staff in a government hospital who well, didn't tell him what exactly to do while his wife was in labour. Ini pun I rasa bodoh jugak. You have nine freaking months to read books and the Internet, even more than enough time to join as many antenatal classes as you wish, but you waited until the day of delivery and expect other people to tell you or you want people to demonstrate to you what you are supposed to do? Please! Ingat kau sorang dalam hospital tu?

Some of the complaints are petty, like, "Kena marah sebab teran tak betul," (Habis tu, kalau anak dah hampir lemas, takkan nak dipuji pula?) "Sakit sangat masa jahit," (Wah...Nama pun dijahit, mestilah sakit tu ada sikit...) "Doctor tak sambut, nurse je sambut," (Ingat ratio doctor pesakit tu sama banyak ke?) "Makanan tak sedap langsung," (How much are you paying? Sila beli sendiri if you think the food disgust you so much) "Doctor tu asyik nak seluk je," (I'm sure it's the same, standard procedure in most hospitals, private or not), "Tak ada privacy langsung," "Aku jerit dekat guard tu aku tetap nak jumpa isteri aku," (Please respect the visiting hours as it is a female ward, it is an obstetric ward, and then you complaint your wife was denied the right to get a female doctor and your wife was examined without discretion, padahal you pun main redah visiting hours, violating other women's rights to rest and to be examined without the presence of an unprofessional male) etc.

We always tend to think we are special and deserve more, don't you think? Macamlah nurse and doctor tu tak ada kerja lain nak melayan kerenah kau seorang. Ingat kuli ke?

Perhaps I was lucky. But I am really pleased with the service, I even asked my husband to buy a hamper for all the staff who took care of me and my baby.

(Disclaimer: I was warded in a first-class ward, not in the 2-bedded room that I'm qualified to get though, but I didn't mind. I was in the normal ward for a few hours before being transferred to the first-class ward, called once there was a vacancy. I was prepared with the possibility that the first-class ward might be full, I even brought a wire extension so I could share the port with my neighbours. Haha. Oh, and I was never hospitalized before nor I had experience at other hospitals, so I really have nothing to compare with. I am pleased nevertheless!)



5) I did not forget to ask for my husband's forgiveness before he went back. It's just that I shy shy cat lah nak berdrama macam tu dalam hospital...Kang dia kata I ni buang tebiat.

You know how they say giving birth is like berjihad kecil, all the small sins will be forgiven.

So, after the delivery, I tried to maintain a pure heart lah, so I can be suci for a longer time. Then I remembered, when my hus6band asked me to wear socks, I bluntly said No, sebab panas. So, tu dah kira dosa lah kan sebab tak ikut cakap suami. Hehe. Banyak lagi lah kan yang I degil/ annoyed dengan perangai orang. Hehe.

So, as I'm writing this, I sent a text message to ask for his forgiveness. His reply: Abang ampunkan dosa sayang, isteri tersayang.

Auwww...

And dia terus call and asked me, "You ni pantang ke tidak ni?" Laa...I baru bagi contoh tak pakai stokin je...

Haha. Susah ada confinement police ni!



6) I actually have a few posts in the form of drafts because my labour and confinement stories are so long, I cannot finish them without getting interrupted. Slowly but surely, bersabarlah ye...

Bukan cerita baby, tapi cerita biasa biasa over the last few weeks...

1) A friend posted on Facebook that she was told: It's best to berbuat baik dengan kanak-kanak because they generally have the purest hearts, hence if they are happy with you, their prayers for you are mostly makbul.

2) Niece: Auntie Ectopy white. Uncle Ectopy black. Husband: Hahaha... Me: What about you? Niece: I am peach!

Niece: Auntie Ectopy, look, my eyes are blue! Me: Hah, ye lah tu...(Malas nak layan budak perasan ni, haha)

Amboi...Dia punya colour yang cantik cantik je...

3) When I was pregnant, I dreamt my husband had an affair with a girl named Sakinah.

Ni mesti sebab terlalu terkesan dengan cerita Ashraf Muslim-Dayana-Sakinah tu kan...

4) I also dreamt that I met my great grandmother who was loved dearly by Father. She raised Father and was a kind lady.

Her last years of living were spent at our house.

As a kid, I could not adjust well and thought of her as an intruder. I was rude to her because she always wanted to touch me with her wrinkly hands.

That is one of my biggest regrets in life.

I knew I should not be too hard on myself, I was only a kid. But I always feel guilty, as I don't know whether she had forgiven me.

I haven't dreamt about her in a very, very, very long time.

In the dream, she looked happy and she talked to me as if I've never wronged her.

I woke up happy.

5) Father also appeared in my dream.

We hugged.

I am so grateful to be given the chances to meet them in Ramadhan.

6) I am happier whenever I dream about being in my old house. It contains so much memories...

7) After I returned from the hospital, my husband and I had lunch together. We were still overwhelmed by the fact that we now have a baby.

My husband suddenly said, "Comel kan baby...I tak faham macam mana ada orang sanggup tak sayang, tak kesian dekat baby."

I told him that I had the exact same thoughts!

Husband: Sebab tu I tak boleh maafkan ayah I bagi I dekat orang. Sanggup dia suruh orang lain bela I. Sampai hati dia bagi I pada orang.

Me: (Don't know how to respond to that, so I was quiet)

Husband: I marah sangat. I tak nak jumpa ayah I. I pernah jumpa dia sekali je, lepas tu dia meninggal dunia. Dia pun tak pernah nak jumpa I. Dia malu kot...

Mak (kandung) pun malu juga kot dengan I. Sejak akhir akhir ni je I start jumpa dia.

Sebab tu I lebih sayang Ma (angkat) berbanding dengan Mak (kandung). Padahal kalau dari segi hukum, I sepatutnya dahulukan Mak (kandung).





Dahlah I baru lepas bersalin masa tu, of course lah I rasa sebak sangat after listening to my husband's revelations.

I wanted to tell him to not hold grudges. There must be a valid reason. Perhaps, they didn't want to give him away, but they did it out of mercy, because Ma (angkat) did not have a child yet then.

In which, there are hikmahs. At least my husband is sufficiently educated. And circumstances brought him to our first encounter, where he fell in love with me at first sight. (I still don't know how love at first sight is even possible, I mean, you just looked at me, we had a very, very brief conversation, and you knew I was the one? I am skeptic)

I thought dah tua tua ni my husband can finally let go. Tapi ni dah macam childhood trauma. He still feels like he's unwanted and not loved. Sigh.

8) I wore a long skirt to the clinic, carrying my baby, as we were advised by the nurses to check for baby's jaundice level.

Husband: You nampak tua dah sejak ada baby ni. Nampak matang.

Me: Mana ada...I masih hot okay!

Then, my name was called to the reception counter.

Husband: (Suddenly laughs) Bontot you besarlah sejak bersalin ni! Hahaha!

Sejak hari tu, hari hari mesti tengok bontot dekat cermin lepas mandi. I have to admit, memang besar, tapi tetap malas pakai bengkung tu...Hehe...

Baby Part 1

Hello.

 

There are a lot of things to write but I only have two hours, that's including the distractions from online shopping, baby, Facebook and others...So, there will be many many parts, in the span of...I can't give an estimation, we'll see, I can't say...

 

Anyway, so as you all probably have expected, I've given birth to a baby boy. Healthy? I think so. At first, they detected some heart problems, but he was discharged on the same day itself by the Paediatric team. Yesterday, at ten-day old, he was suspected to have jaundice. I knew he looked fine (I look at him every single day, no skin colour changes whatsoever), I even make him sleep under the fluorescent lights every single night as a caution, but...I took him to the doctor anyway, Mother insisted. Besides, I needed an excuse to get out from the house, hehehe...Wheee...So, yeah, he was NOWHERE near to jaundice, his level was way, way below the jaundice level. Nurses were wrong, my son memang berkulit kuning langsat!

 

But, bad Mommy because I made my baby got a needle prick for blood taking despite me knowing he was not yellow. Boohoo...I am so sorry, Darling! Good baby, however, he slept through and didn't make a sound...Mommy is so proud...

 

So, yeah, I would say my son is pretty healthy and strong.

 

My labour story is pretty easy, will come to that later, if I still have the mood.

 

And remember how I complained and whined about waiting to deliver? Well, there's a story to that too.

 

So far, I am hating the confinement. Because I don't believe in some the things they say, which I find ridiculous!

 

Well, baby is up! Continue later.

 

I like my Facebook friends now. As it is now Ramadhan, many choose to respect the holy month by sharing beneficial ustadz ustazah-like posts. Tak sia sia lah I cuti dan ber online kan...Dapat juga sedikit sebanyak ilmu.

A few of the statements I like are:

1) Memberi duit raya itu tak wajib, tapi yang wajib adalah melangsaikan hutang. Jadi, tak perlu rasa pressure kena bagi duit raya banyak-banyak.

Eloklah diajarkan kanak-kanak untuk tidak mengharapkan duit raya bila datang melawat. Nanti tuan rumah stressed pula.

To me, kalau setakat berniat nak bersedeqah dan menggembirakan kanak-kanak, apa salahnya...

Ada betulnya statement di atas ni. Kadang-kadang ada orang nak jaga air muka, berlagak macam orang kaya, tapi sebenarnya hutang sekeliling pinggang tak sedar. Sebab dia kira tolak bulan-bulan, tak ada effort nak bayar lebih untuk settle kan hutang cepat-cepat.

I pula selalu berdoa supaya dijauhi daripada beban berhutang. Tapi at the same time sibuk survey nak beli rumah. Macam mana tu? If I were God, mesti I confuse, eh hamba, what do you want actually? Haha. But I know mesti Allah tahu what I mean in my doa kan...He is the most knowledgeable, hence He will give what's best for me, or at least what I deserve lah.

Rumah sekarang mahal kan? Pilihan di hati mesti cecah juta juta punya...Adoi...Husband selalu optimiatic cakap one day we sure can afford it. Tapi nak tunggu one day, some day tu, mestilah harga dia belas belas juta pula kot...



2) Berhemah dalam menegur suami atau isteri dalam beribadat.

Ada orang siap perli perli suami tak pergi terawih, tapi secara tak sedar dah terguris hati suami. Mungkin suami balik lewat sebab cari rezeki, sebab itu tanggungjawab suami, wajib mencari rezeki untuk keluarga, sedangkan berterawih itu cuma sunat.

Tapi sayanglah kalau tinggal sunat setahun sekali tu...Kan?



3) Sunat pada Hari Raya ialah memakai pakaian terbaik pada hari itu, bukannya pakai baru! Jadi, tak perlu shopping raya sampai membazir.

Sebenarnya, I pun dah lama dah stop bershopping raya. To me, I bukan orang miskin yang beli baju setahun sekali. Kalau tak raya pun, I shopping juga and banyak juga baju baju yang masih elok. Buat penuh wardrobe je...

Kalau zaman Father I, fahamlah juga. He used to tell us that his school uniform was considered as baju raya. Kalau dapat beli kasut baru tu, it means getting a new pair of white shoes for school.

I always think orang yang semangat shopping raya, sampai ke kasut raya dan handbag raya ni, memang orang yang susah kot, that's why tunggu Raya sales.

Dulu, I selalu pelik kenapa some people make it such a big deal about graduating. I mean, you graduate lah. Tapi kenapa nak sampai panggil atok nenek, baby kecik kena panas, satu kampung naik bus bawa bunga, teddy bear semua...Padahal yang boleh masuk dewan tu dua orang je, result pun tak gempak sangat, and it is such a boring event! I tengok orang putih relax je...

Then someone told me it is because she/ he is the first one to go to the university, so it is a huge achievement for them.

Then, barulah I faham kenapa orang seronok sangat bergraduasi. See, I used to be so naive...I ingat orang semua sama macam I ke...

As I mature, I stopped judging people (well, maybe not entirely stopped, but greatly reduce lah).

And I also learned that Malaysia ni sebenarnya tak adalah maju sangat. Tahun millennium pun masih ramai rakyat yang datang dari keluarga tak berpendidikan.

Hari tu jalan-jalan pergi KLCC. I like jalan-jalan dekat tempat high class ni. Rasa macam, wow, hebatnya rakyat negara kita ni. Suka ah I tengok especially the Muslims yang trendy trendy, masa time balik kerja banyak corporate-looking ladies and gentlemen, pastu nampak macam so successful gitu.

Bila shopping tengok pakai bag Tods, beli barang Burberry, LV lah...Sampai I pun terikut-ikut nak masuk Chanel lah, Georgio Armani lah...If were a tourist, I would think Malaysia is very prosperous.

But as a Malaysian, I know this is not the reality. There are many poor Malaysians.

Before I start working in my field, I know lah kita ada lorry drivers, ada farmers...But I never really personally encountered any of them. Dulu I anggap diorang ni foreigners. Tapi bila dah kerja, dah kenal dunia, dah matang, I became more and more aware about my surroundings. There are Malaysian families with no cars, there are still fathers yang kerja buruh kasar, ibu yang kerja cleaners, children yang tak ke sekolah...

So, yeah, it means so much more to them what we often take for granted.

(Apasal I punya elaboration dah lari daripada point sebenar?)



4) Jangan minta hidup yang mudah, tapi mintalah hati yang tabah. Jangan minta dikurangkan ujian, tapi mintalah dibesarkan iman.

Yes, this is one of the Malay dilemmas. Semua nak mudah. Recently, in the news, syarat kemasukan untuk rakyat dari negara Pakistan, Bangladesh dan lain lain akan diperketatkan. Buat style orang putih, you have to declare the amount of money you have, the place and person you are going to stay with, your confirmation of ticket back to your original country...

Lepas tu, keluar dekat TV3, an organisation called IKHLAS, kononnya menyokong tindakan ini demi masyarakat bumiputera. They said: Sekarang ni, banyak pekerja asing buat business dekat Jalan TAR, Chow Kitt dan sebagainya, which menutup periuk nasi orang Malaysia.

Come on lah! Nak nasi banyak, kena kerja kuat, bukan asyik mengharapkan pertolongan. I pun tak paham berapa kali kena bagi peluang. Kerja nak senang, persaingan sikit dari orang asing pun dah rasa threatened, cubalah up sikit your game. Kenapa orang asing datang negara kita boleh berjaya, tapi kita di tanah air sendiri susah sangat nak naik? Padahal tak ada kerajaan yang bantu pun pendatang pendatang tu. Hasil titik peluh dia sendiri, memang patutlah rezeki dia dapat mana-mana pun. Kenapa dengki sangat?

Orang kita ni, bagi subsidi tak appreciate, jual pula pada negara jiran. I personally know someone yang brag about her brother seludup beras lah, minyak lah...Tak malu ke?

Lepas tu complaint orang kaya makin kaya. Dah memang mentaliti orang kaya cari property, bukan duduk goyang kaki beli benda bukan-bukan. Kita juga banyak complaint, tentang orang lain punya gaji besar sangat. Sometimes kan, I rasa macam nak jerit je, lah, memang patutlah orang tu gaji besar. Ingat masa sekolah dia tak belajar ke, engkau tu masa sekolah banyak main. Senang-senang nak gaji besar bila dah tua? Bila dah tua dengki pula. Ingat CEO tu duduk pejabat goyang kaki ke? Tak fikir tentang tanggungjawab yang beliau kena pikul? Ingat mudah ke nak sustain a company?

Tak ada equation yang mengatakan kerja senang akan dapat gaji besar. Kalau ada, maksudnya ada something wrong di situ...Macam skim cepat kaya tu. Nak kaya kena usaha, okay! Logiklah sikit!

I dengar cerita pekerja-pekerja husband I pun jadi tension tau. Like, ada ke patut nak minta cuti sebulan sebab nak berniaga dekat Bazaar Ramadhan. Like, hello, you nak kerja ke tanak? Tak kesahlah you nak cari makan lebih, kita tak halang, but you kena fikir lah tanggungjawab, takkan nak makan gaji buta kot. Tak raya dosa ke?

Ada yang nak balik awal sebab nak shopping raya. Like OMG, macamlah tak ada masa lain nak shopping! My husband ni pula, baik sangat. Pekerja nak pinjam duit, ok, pekerja nak gaji awal, ok, pekerja tak datang patut tolak gaji, ok, penyelia tapi tak menyelia, ok, cakap pun lemah lembut je...Hish, mana tak pekerja pijak kepala...Bukan boss je yang pening kepala, isteri boss pun jadi tension. "Kenapa baik sangat? Kalau I, I cakap je, lain kali tak payah tunjuk muka!" I told him just now.

The only reliable worker is this pakcik tua yang rajin, yang ada dua anak doktor, salah seorang doktor pakar lagi. See, patutnya tak payah kerja pun, tapi nak kerja juga walaupun anak anak bagi duit. Yang lain tu, haiyo, macam macam perangai. Nak kesian, tapi macam, menguji kesabaran sangat!









Okay lah, actually nak cerita satu benda lagi. Tapi di interrupted sebab ada drama live sebelah rumah I ni. Tengah tengah malam gaduh sampai polis datang semua. Dato' dituduh menipu duit. Hehehe. Maka orang tu mengamuk dengan kayu golf. Jangan ada adegan tembak menembak dah lah...

Disebabkan I sekarang ni merupakan surirumah yang ada banyak spare time, haruslah I mem busy body mengintip dari tingkap.