Me: Eeee! Siapa yang tak buang karipap basi tu!
Me: Tu...Dah buruk dah karipap tu. Buang lah...!
Colleague: Hahahaha! Ectopy, tu bukan karipap lah! Tu buah katak puru!
Honestly, don't they look like some kind of amateurish karipap?
Okay, I swear that was the first time I heard and saw it in my entire life. OMG, at this age, there are still local fruits out there I don't even know about.
Sedap ke buah ni? Awat berkerutu macam tu?
Of course, my husband laughed at my silliness. To my defence, I have never even seen this being sold at pasar-pasar! Ada ke? Ada keeee???
My husband bought me two kain batik.
He said, "Untuk buat baju raya."
But of cource, that's not convenient since I'm going to pop this baby out around that time, and there's no way I can send the kain tu the tailor with this figure or using my old figure as a guide. My body will change!
But the kain are cantik lah okay.
Me: Abang, thank you! Kenapa Abang belikan I kain ni? (excited)
Husband: Tokey dia ada contact with 'such and such', so I tengah melobi dia lah ni. Investment untuk masa akan datang.
Oh, so that's why I got the kain batik! Not because he loves me, not because he feels like I deserve them, but because ada udang di sebalik batu!
He should've just lied to my face. At least I would feel better about it!
May will be a busy month for me. Busy, busy, busy.
Just the thought of it makes me depressed.
One day in April, I couldn't take it anymore, so I cried.
I kept thinking, I am going to have this baby but I don't have time to buy any preparations for the baby yet! When will I ever have the time?
April was too early.
I will be extra busy in May.
I'll probably deliver in July, I'll be probably too breathless to even walk by then.
That leaves me with June only.
Only one freaking month to sort out everything!
And the fact that I might not be allowed to be on the plane by June. How am I going to endure long journeys to Klang Valley?
I plan for a one-week off, so that means speed shopping in just one week.
I felt like a failure. Like I'm a bad mother.
My husband ni pulak relax je. Like, what the hell, don't you love me and our baby!
Menangis menangis I time tu, thinking about other people who religiously apply stretchmark cream every single day while I ni tak pakai apa-apa langsung and thinking about how I don't have any pretty clothes that fit me...
(In retrospect, a Professor told me there's no cream in the world that can prevent stretchmarks, at least not anything is proven to work. And that blogger who applied so many expensive creams to avoid stretchmark every single day during her pregnancy, well, she still got stretchmarks towards the end of her pregnancy. So, let's pray I will miraculously be stretchmark free...)
I also thought about how people at work have been bullying me, they simply chuck me here and there ignoring my current condition...
God, I so hate this place! I hate this place, how many times must I say!
At the same time, I didn't want to be sad and depressed because I want my baby to follow my example, be strong, be patient, be sincere, because we just have to believe there will be a bright light at the end of the tunnel, all this will be paid off in one way or another! Biar Tuhan membalas sikap-sikap mazmumah mereka!
So, that was my breakdown story.
My boss was right. We have lost our happy place- Facebook.
It's now filled with political talks, from the SAME people over and over again.
Either politics or advertisements.
Sakit hati! Like, sudah-sudahlah tu...
Orang yang berilmu lebih banyak diam. Bila bercakap (dalam kes ni, menulis), biarlah kata-kata yang baik. Yang tak elok tu, lebih baik diam. Diam okay, diam! (Tapi orang yang tak diam ni selalu berlagak like they know it all)
Observe, listen and make decision. You can argue in a healthy way, at a proper place.
Oh, and did you know, I have this one emotional girl in my friendlist. Because of the differences in political views between her and her relatives, then biasalah, ada post-post perli perli with name callings and such, the other party terasa and publicly announce: "Saya takkan memaafkan dia sampai akhirat."
Why are you being so childish!
Then, other family members started to masuk campur and nasihat nasihat, but masing-masing degil. See lah, they get too emotional until clouding their own judgements.
Until today, I blame my friend who is actually friend with her (that's how I got to know her). Like, what sort of friend do you have lah!
I pulak...Well, I never deleted anybody from my friendlist before this. Perhaps I shall start soon.
My happy place has been destroyed...
I had a nightmare.
This time, I didn't cry in my sleep, but I cried right after I woke up because it was so horrible.
In the nightmare, I had to give birth. I didn't see my baby because I had some sort of bleeding or something.
When everything settled, I asked to see my baby. Somehow, my boss was there. He broke the bad news to me, my baby in the ICU fighting for his/ her life.
Then, the doctors counselled me to let my baby go peacefully. But I refused, I want them to do everything they can to make sure my baby stay alive. I don't even care if my baby has brain damage. I could take care of him/ her.
It was horrible. Macam manalah I tak nangis kan...
Well, it was just a nightmare. I'm sure my baby will be okay, InsyaAllah. Yakin pada ketentuanNya.
My husband is a likeable person.
I, on the other hand, am quite an objective type of person. I don't care to please other people.
My husband is friendly, talkative, easily making friends. I am quiet especially around people I don't know.
But, because of this habit, my husband oversees a lot of things. He tends not to double check his mistakes. I ni pulak, memang pantanglah nak buat kerja dua kali...Buang masa, tenaga, wang etc...
For example, hari tu kan, dia belikan I a gold bracelet kan. So, I senyap je lah while he was making jokes with the salespeople. Duit dia kan...I just told him which one I like and wait for the payment to be made. Lagipun, I didn't want to look over excited, I mean, must act like, "Meh, I buy this all the time, biasa je..." Hehe, persepsi orang itu penting.
At home, barulah I start to admire my newly acquired jewellery. Because it's quite expensive, I pun belek-belek the receipt. I realized something didn't add up.
So, I complained to my husband (sambil membebel why lah he's always so careless! No wonder lah exam tak dapat straight As, hahahaha, I can imagine how I will nag my future children regarding their exam marks). Anyway, my husband went back to the shop to clarify those things, and guess what? They had to pay us back RM369!
RM369 is quite a lot for me, okay! I can buy many things with that RM369!
Lepas ni, kalau I beli barang mahal, I will pinch my husband's thigh whenever he starts to be talkative. Stay objective and concentrate, boleh tak? We are spending thousands of ringgit here, helloooo!
And that was not the first time.
I remember, a few years back, before we got married, he bought me an Oris watch, and guess what? The leather strap was not the original Oris strap! I found out because I meticulously inspect the watch (haha, masa tu kena check betul-betul takut boyfriend beli barang tiruan, agak materialistic di situ...Eh, tapi sebenarnya I just had to check because I don't believe in using fake brands, I rasa berdosa sikit.)
Well, because of that incident, I seriously thought he bought me a fake Oris watch, then, he showed me the receipt as prove (oh, sungguh nightmare dapat girlfriend macam ni, apasal lah kau nak kahwin dengan aku! Haha). Then, he marched to the watch shop and demanded for the original leather strap. The shopkeeper bagi alasan apa tau, he said hari tu ada orang nak beli just the leather strap, so he took out the strap and then he forgot to replace it.
Like, what the fuck!
Eeee...Kalau I jadi my husband, I terus lodge police report je...Barang ribu-ribu okay, bukannya murah kau nak tukar tukar macam tu.
Agaknya lah kan, dah berapa banyak lah my husband ni rugi, asyik kena tipu je...Tuh lah, baik sangat...Men simply cannot talk when doing business, men cannot multitask!
Me: Bertuahnya Abang ni, dapat isteri yang pandai...
Husband: You tu berkiraaaaaaa...!!!
Eleh, even if I was calculative, I still bring you profits!